In Hoxie We Trust
by streakie257
Summary: DL, Smacked, Light HawkesOFC, Doris. She always had to be clothed to even think about answering the phone – she always felt like the person on the other end knew she was naked. And God if it was Mac – the man was psychic. 1.2.09. Happy New Year!
1. Prologue

In Hoxie We Trust

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Disclaimer: I own my sense of reality; actual reality is out of my hands.

Summary: DL, FlackOFC, slightly Smacked, light HawkesOFC. Friends, gotta love 'em, can't kill 'em.

AN: Dedicated to girlfriends every where. Dowd University is not real, it's sort of a cross of Iowa State traditions, the stories from my family, and privet liberal arts colleges. Special thanks to my beta Katherine.

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Prologue

Apartment 201, Hoxie Floor, Helser House, Dowd University

1994

Lindsay Monroe was bone tired; waitressing really took it out of her during happy hour... all those happy people, some of them with happy hands. God, those pricks were treating her ass like wonder bread. Carlin was such a jerk, he only put girls on the floor during happy hour at the university bar so he could watch them fight off the horny men and the occasional woman. Lindsay sighed and adjusted her bag on her shoulder and shoved her key in the dorm lock with great force. Unlocking the door and pushing it open with her hip she reached for the lights. But they were already on. The room was bright, not only was the lights on but so was the chili pepper lights, and a few glow sticks. Her friends and roommates were strung out all over, lounging in all sorts of positions all with alcohol.

"What the hell?" she exclaimed. From the coach the voice Gwen Palen answered.

"Farmer finally broke up with shithead! We're celebrating." Gwen said sitting up, she was wearing a party hat and had a bottle of wine in hand. Lindsay sat her bag down and rubbed her face.

"Well thank God for that."

"Hey Tractor!" The woman herself, Elizabeth – Iris Olsen, Farmer, just noticed that she had arrived. She and their other roommate Karenina 'Wookiee' Woteki were drinking straight from a bottle of white wine. Lindsay picked her way over to where they were seated, stepping over their sprawled body parts.

"Okay you broke up with Noah, what opened you're eyes?" Lindsay asked she knew she wasn't going to bed any time soon so she might as well hear the story.

"Oh, I know your little nickname for him, you were so apt. God he was a shithead. And a whore." Farmer said finishing off the bottle of liquor. "I caught him screwing Becky Hicks when I was early to his place. I have to pick his sorry ass up in the first place, every goddamn date I was giving a mile in the relationship. All I ever got was a fucking inch. No, wait the fucking inch was his penis. The sex wasn't even that great or good or satisfying. Total waist of my virginity. God why didn't you guys tell me sooner that he was shit?" Not even the drunk loose lipped girlfriends had a reason.

"From now on ya gotta tell me what you think. Ya'll are semi intelligent, I guess. You have to tell me things." Elizabeth - Iris said looking around the room. Karenina was balancing a shot glass on her pouted lips, Gwen was wearing three party hats one on her head, and two in a Madonna titty cone bra, and Lindsay who was still in her bar uniform of way too tight tee shirt and high hem skirt looking like a Hooter's knock off, Lindsay resisted the impulse to laugh.

"Oh all right. We promise to always tell you exactly what we think about what you do." Lindsay said.

"We need to make a very, very deep pact..." Gwen said.

"And a toast." Karenina said catching the glass off her lip. Elizabeth - Iris sprang up.

"I solemnly swear," She said raising her right hand and placing her other hand where she thought her heart was she of course was too drunk to get to know it was her boob.

"I solemnly swear," The other girls said mimicking their friend.

"To tell the truth,"

"To tell the truth,"

"No matter what, no matter how ugly, no matter what the situation,"

"No matter what, no matter how ugly, no matter what the situation,"

"So help me Hoxie."

"So help me Hoxie." The girls swore.

"Let's have a drink!" Karenina exclaimed. The girls laughed but everyone took a drink of the bottle and passed it on. And with cheap wine the pact was sealed.

* * *

141 W. 72th St. Apartment 5P, New York City's Upper West Side1

2006

Lindsay Monroe was bone tired; she had worked ten days in a row often pulling double or triple shifts. Today was her long awaited day off and she was ready for quality laziness, of course her brain didn't comprehend the request of her body and she was wide awake and functional at five am. By ten am her entire apartment was cleaned, she had bought groceries and was folding a basket of laundry. She sighed heavily at her sad state but was saved from more reflection at her inability to be a slug by the ring of her phone. Lindsay didn't even get a chance to say hello into the receiver when a very familiar voice asked,

"Are you happy with where you are right now?" Elizabeth – Iris Olsen asked, Lindsay looked at her phone like it was sprouting Klingon.

"My current position or my situation in life or what?" Lindsay asked sarcastically.

"Your life hoser! I'm trying to be philosophical here."

"What brought this on?" Lindsay asked chucking. It was something like nine am in Minnesota, knowing what kind of person Farmer was in the morning something big must've triggered this sudden deep urge.

"Gwen called me – Gregory was having an affair." Gwen had married Gregory Willis five years ago. Lindsay hadn't liked him then and her opinion hadn't changed.

"We'll I can't say I'm surprised or sorry – well maybe sorry about how she got her eyes opened but it was about time." She said, heartless, but honest.

"I know, that's what I said when she called me."

"Are you handling the divorce?"

"Not in my job description but I gave her the name of a real shark, I want to see this asshole hung out to dry."

"Amen sister." There was a pause.

"So Lindsay, are you where you planned to be? This divorce got me thinking how much things have changed." Elizabeth – Iris sounded truly pensive. Lindsay sighed, she had never truly thought about it, if Farmer had asked her the meaning of life or the existence of God Lindsay could give her an answer, she had thought about those aspects of the unknown, but she had never thought of where she would be at ate 32 and a half.

"I guess I never thought about it." It was the truth. The changes weren't really changes in her mind. She had lived through every up and down. She wasn't a spectator viewing history to analyze and find patterns, she was a participant, looking back wasn't done. She had gone to college; it had even been one of her top choices, Criminology had always been the plan as well. So up until the first day of college her life had been on track. Then she met Elizabeth – Iris that was the first of the forks in the road. She was the first step outside the little world that had been built in eighteen years of life in the rather mundane and homogeneous life that was suburban Montana. From there on out what ever plans she had had were out the window. There was no more safe and quiet Friday nights, on the social aspect Elizabeth – Iris and eventually the rest of the Hoxies had taken her from drab to fab in no time. Yet they hadn't treated her as an experiment but as a person that they loved and with them she had truly found herself. Her true self, not the identity that small scale searching in high school had yielded but a full fledged personality. Her eighteen year old idealistic ways never pictured what happened. On the other hand, those same years she was gaining character development she was losing just as much. Her father's lost battle with cancer, her sisters battles with her now ex husband and the mentally crippling results of the sparing.

And now here she was living in New York, a CSI and independent woman… had this been her true goal in life? She couldn't remember any more. Farmer was still waiting for a real response.

"Elizabeth – Iris I don't remember what I wanted to begin with so I don't know if I've met my goals. I'm content, I'm neither excessively happy or excessively sad, my job is typically satisfying so I suppose I'm happy as I can be."

"You're not listlessly pining away for a man and a picket fence are you?" Farmer asked. A flash of a dinner table with Danny at the head her at the opposite and kids between them danced in her mind, she shook it out forcefully.

"The thought has crossed my mind but I'm not some idiot who lives her life so she can get married and be a wife. If I get married, I get married."

"I see… you realize that you can't hide your lying eyes, babe." Elizabeth – Iris said, Lindsay knew she was implying something about Danny, it was the general topic of conversation of late but she decided to ignore the fact she knew what was going on.

"Who are you Carnac the Magnificent?" Lindsay inquired sarcastically.

"Okay, I know for a fact that you've used him as a fill in when you're fingers have done some walking, I also have probable cause to assert that you've looked at monogrammed towels, although Lindsay Messer only changes the second letter down not as noticeable, now if your last name was Hamilton…"

"How did we get from Gwen's divorce to discussing my friend and co worker like he was a plot line on Sex and the City?" Lindsay asked, she was now flustered, with one hand she held the phone, with the other she tossed the bridal magazine she had bought at the grocery store in a drawer in her coffee table, she couldn't look at the cover which was graffiti - ed with the subconscious doodling of Lindsay Messer.

"Because sweetie Gregory is old hat, there is nothing to say that hasn't been said before, but you and Danny, we have a plethora of subjects to discuss…"

"You're delusional." Lindsay said defensively.

"No I'm right. There's a slight difference." Someone calling Elizabeth – Iris's office phone made the friends cut their conversation short on a note Lindsay tried to avoid hitting. As she hung up she rolled her head back to rest it on the arm/ back joint of her couch. Friends… gotta love 'em, can't shoot 'em.

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1 I know nothing about the address I made up, so um it's a work of fiction so read a fiction disclaimer and apply it here. 


	2. E I E I O

In Hoxie We Trust

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Disclaimer: I own my sense of reality; actual reality is out of my hands.

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Chapter One; Elizabeth – Iris Olsen E – I – E – I - O

To: LeaMonroe

From: IrisEIO

Subject: Erraten Sie was1

I'M COMING TO NEW YORK! I'VE GOT A JOB! Can you believe it? They want me ASAP, so soon in fact that when you read this I might be in New York. I'm just so happy; I don't know how I'm even seated to type this. I can't believe it! The boys is packing my stuff in a pod, I'm just bringing the incriminating and embarrassing in my suitcase. Wookiee is express shipping my clothing to me and I'm flying out to find an apartment. And since you are the uber chic awesome Manhattan babe you are you can help me look. I'm still in shock so if I just start rambling you should understand. So I'm on my way out and I hope to find a place within a week or so. I've already surfed all the online sights. God stuffs expensive… Anyway you do realize that I'm going to have to meet your coworkers, don't you? Gotta see how they treat the Tractor. And I've got to meet your "rabbit", the Italian Stallion is first on my sight seeing list. Then you're taking me shopping and to be a tourist.

Much love!

Farmer

Lindsay knew Elizabeth – Iris was right about one thing, she was moronically happy. Farmer had been dreaming of being in Legal Aid forever, her motto was pro bono publico; for the public good. And now fantasies come true and she was coming to the big apple. To have her best friend in the same city was enough to make Lindsay's week.

"'Ey Montana, what's tripping yer trigger, the rodeo in town or somp'in?" Not even Danny Messer's nickname and assumption that she was a country girl could dampen her spirits.

"No, and the New York Rodeo isn't to die for even if they were riding. I was happy because I just got some great news from my best friend." Lindsay said trying to defuse him.

"Really?" he asked, curious.

"She's moving to New York." Lindsay continued still being deliberately vague; she never knew when to show her cards when it came to her personal life.

"The apple is just being invaded by you country folk." He commented to rouse her, she could tell by his smirk and body position, leaning back in his chair, trying to avoid the presumed blast.

"Actually she's from Seattle and was working in the Twin Cities as the face of the PD, she won't take it if she can't return it and her relationship with cops is stellar." Lindsay warned him. "Even in college she could talk to the PD." The later part of the comment was more a nostalgic one for her than informative.

"I only had a better relationship with Campus PD because the one time you talked to them you weren't properly attired." The distinct voice of Elizabeth – Iris Olsen replied from the door. Lindsay whipped around to find her friend leaning against the jam arms and legs crossed smiling her mischievous smile – her dangerous smile.

"Farmer!" Lindsay exclaimed rushing to greet her. Left cheek, right cheek, and left again they kissed before licking their thumbs and hissing as they touched their hips, it was the standard Hoxie greeting, used by ever girl no matter the situation. Even the spouses had to and with Karenina procreating the children would soon learn too.

"You weren't kidding about being here soon." Lindsay commented after their little display. She could feel Danny's eyes burning into her back, he was amazed.

"Montana, what's this 'not properly attired' comment all about?" Danny asked, the words Lindsay knew Elizabeth – Iris was waiting for. Farmer grinned and winked at Lindsay.

"Farmer, no, please." Lindsay vainly tried.

"You have to understand it was college, and to truly call yourself an alumni you had to do this sort of triune of activities… take the polar bear plunge, climb the flag pull in front of the union, and streak between Elmira and Christie – down and back. Well, Lindsay had done everything but streak…" Elizabeth – Iris began, Lindsay couldn't look at Danny but she knew exactly what his facial expression was and the train his thoughts were on, she could only hide her face in her hands and pray that it be over quickly.

"I think it was dead week our what, Linds, junior year…Linds? Anyway she takes off running makes it from Elmira to Christie and starts back when the campus PD shows up. They never busted a streaker, but they did like to play with them so they officially confiscated Lindsay's clothing, leaving Gwen, Wookiee, and I her underwear. Lindsay gets back and there's two cops and us and she's bare assed trying to get her stuff back." Elizabeth – Iris laughed as hard as she had when it had happened and Danny was with her. Lindsay was too embarrassed to find humor in the situation.

"Miss Monroe a streaker, I never in a million would've guessed." Danny crowed loudly.

"What!" It was Mac Taylor's voice in pure shock and mirth.

"Oh for the love of God!" Lindsay exclaimed, her blush was getting painful and her eyes were watering from the masochistic humor of the situation.

"Mac," Lindsay said from her hands, "Can I take my lunch break now and lock her in my apartment?" Elizabeth – Iris, Danny, Mac, and Stella all laughed. _Damn it_ Lindsay thought, _by the time I get back the entire NYPD is going to know._

"Go right ahead Lindsay." Mac said nicely, he was a good guy.

"Mac Taylor?" Elizabeth – Iris asked, Mac confirmed it. "I'm…"

"Dead." Lindsay interjected, "Let's go." Elizabeth – Iris blew her a very mature raspberry.

"Elizabeth – Iris Olsen, Lindsay and I were roommates, and judging by the tone of voice she's using it's safe to say that we were friends but not so much anymore." Lindsay lifted her head from her hands after a deep breath. She found Danny, Stella, Mac and a random lab tech staring at her.

"Her bag's in my office." Stella told her as she pulled Mac away. One thing for the situation, it was rare to see Mac smile the way he had.

"That's aiding and abetting Stella." Lindsay called after her coworker before turning back to face her office, friend, and Danny.

"Danny Messer." Danny said walking forward and introducing himself to Elizabeth – Iris, whose eyes got big and her smile bigger.

"Elizabeth – Iris, but call me Farmer, I'm no Montanan." Elizabeth – Iris said.

"There's only one Montana, and that's Montana. Besides she tells me you're from Seattle so you'd be closer to Coffee, but Farmer will do." Danny said.

"How lucky for me – Montana forever, Farmer, lets get you away from people I know." Lindsay said trying to hurry along the process of getting Elizabeth – Iris away from Danny and from the temptation to tell more bawdy stories about her.

"Aw com'mon Montana, these are very interesting stories, when were you planning on telling me you streaked?" Danny whined mockingly, it was unique with his accent.

"Um, let me think… Oh, never. Let's get you going Farmer." Lindsay all but pulled on her best friend's arm.

"Montana, why don't you and Farmer come to Mackenzie's tonight for a drink with the rest of us, I think Stella might get Mac to come this time." Danny said looking at her.

"Out of the…" Lindsay began to say.

"Love to, what time?" But Elizabeth – Iris cut her off.

"Shift's end tonight, I can come and get you if Lindsay 'forgets'." He winked and finger quoted 'forgets'. Lindsay groaned and hurried out of the room with Elizabeth – Iris thankfully on her heels.

"You're turning into that stereotypical bitchy New Yorker, Danny and I were having fun." Elizabeth – Iris complained Lindsay knew better than to really believe her friend, especially with that twinkle in her violet eyes.

"Whatever you're thinking, can it 'til we're long gone, please." Lindsay said grabbing Elizabeth – Iris's hot pink suit case and leopard print carryon and heading for the garage.

"Am I embarrassing you? I thought we were friends, you sounded proud of me before I showed up." Elizabeth – Iris said.

"These people think I'm sane, Farmer." Lindsay said pressing the down elevator button. There was no one thankfully in the first available car.

"They don't know you really well, do they?" Elizabeth – Iris retorted. "Seriously, how much do they know about you?" it was a serious question.

"That I'm from Montana, I like musicals, I went to the opera, I've never shot a bow and arrow – until Mac made me test some, I've done some cool takes downs…" Lindsay said watching the numbers ding as they counted down to 'G' for garage.

"I mean about you. Do they know that Bozeman isn't synonymous with Hicksville?"

"Mac and Stella probably do, Danny chooses to think of me as a cowgirl."

"Don't tell me you went with your tough girl act when you came." Elizabeth – Iris knew that when Lindsay felt awkward she abandoned her true personality and became a sort of character of one of her many different quirks. Judging by Danny's comments and amazement it was safe to assume that Lindsay had presented herself to New York's finest as a tough, serious Midwestern girl. Which was only half true, Lindsay was a Midwestern girl made of steel but she also had a sarcastic side, a flamboyant side, and a very Samantha from Sex and the City side. It was clear she wasn't showing all her colors at work.

"You wonder why he thinks you're Annie Oakley." Elizabeth – Iris said filling the silence that Lindsay should've. "Do they know about your family?" Elizabeth – Iris continued.

"They know I have one, they know that it's in Montana."

"Do they know…?"

"No they don't know about Daddy or Maddi; I didn't see reason to dump my baggage on them." Lindsay said defensively. The elevator stopped on the garage floor.

"Didn't you think to tell them when you saw Delaney in Sarah or why you were so scared with Stella?" Elizabeth – Iris asked seriously, using her court voice. Lindsay just unlocked the trunk of her company loaned Tahoe and put the bags in without a word. "You didn't. Damn it, I even know that if you keep it all in you'll snap and I ain't Gwen." Gwen Palen went on from Dowd University to become a psychiatrist. Lindsay knew that Elizabeth – Iris had a point but she knew that there was something inside of her that wouldn't follow Farmer's instructions.

"I had no reason or opportunity to lay my heart, soul, logic, and emotions out for them, they wouldn't really care, they all have their own baggage with out adding mine to their load." Lindsay knew it was malarkey, Elizabeth – Iris knew it was malarkey but Lindsay threw it out there anyway.

"That's where you're wrong." Elizabeth – Iris said climbing into the passenger seat, and waiting for Lindsay to get behind the wheel. "I spent what five minutes with you and Danny and in that time I could tell he wouldn't give a damn about your bags." Elizabeth – Iris said Lindsay just forcefully started the engine. The Jersey Boys soundtrack blasted through the speakers and Elizabeth – Iris reached over and turned it down.

"I watched him, and he was watching you. He was watching you and had a light in his eyes that I know well, you had that same light back in college, when you were devouring research, learning all you could and wanting more. The light is why you're a CSI; you want to know all you can about something. Well Danny's got the light, and the something he wants to learn about is you." Lindsay sighed, Elizabeth – Iris had successfully summed up everything she had been trying to sum up, it took her four sentences, Lindsay had been taking over four months.

"Goddamn it I hate it when you're right." Lindsay finally conceded.

"Get it through your skull girlfriend, I'm always right." Elizabeth - Iris said smiling. "And I'm right about this too; Danny Messer is definitely New York's finest." The moment of seriousness was passed and Elizabeth – Iris was back to her more flamboyant ways.

"Please, I beg of you, Farmer, next time you have a thought – let it go. I have to work with him." Lindsay begged.

"Lucky bitch you are, I can only guess the number of women that would kill for your job." Elizabeth – Iris said, Lindsay thought about this. It was true that just walking down the street Danny got more looks from both men and women in one afternoon than she had ever gotten in her entire life. She knew his reputation, but he never seemed to be like the image people painted of him, he didn't seem heartless, and she knew that he had a head on his shoulders not just between his legs, yet word of mouth is a powerful persuasion tool. But more powerful than that was words of friends, and Elizabeth – Iris had drawn up images in Lindsay's mind. Images of short, messy sandy brown hair, the attractive kind of scruffy facial growth, the most amazing blue eyes she'd ever seen, the kind that reminded her of the pool in summer; shinning, rippling, inviting blue calling her to dive in, images of glasses – she loved glasses. Her mind's eye could see his muscular body, toned and strong, and despite herself she also could feel his body heat and knew with every fiber how it felt when it carried her. But she worked with him, she wasn't his type, and damn it if Elizabeth – Iris knew she was right yet again it'd go to her head.

"From your silence the jury may assume…" Elizabeth – Iris commented chasing Danny out of her mind.

"That driving in New York's a bitch, I'm still not used to it." Lindsay lied with some truth; it was a mad house out there.

"Sorry, I guess I should know cities suck, Saint Paul and Minneapolis were the same way."

"So you went from one to another?"

"I always wanted to live in New York, to make a difference where I can. The twin cities was a job that got me the money to come here." Elizabeth – Iris said, it was why they were friends, they had the same dreams, at the end of the day Elizabeth – Iris was crazy when sober and Lindsay was still sober when drunk they still had the same goal.

Lindsay pulled into the garage and turned off the car in front of a handsome young man in a uniform; she got out and tossed her keys to the man.

"I'm only going to be about ten minutes Marcello." She told the kid who nodded and held the door to the elevator for them and their bags.

"Thanks Marc." Lindsay said as the doors closed.

"Valet parking, pretty swanky. And my mother said that you had a pay a million on an apartment or you'd get shit." Elizabeth – Iris said whistling.

"That's about as swanky as it gets here hada de ciruela de azúcar2, the rest is purely average to sub par." Lindsay told her friend, she was paying an arm and a leg for an apartment, albeit nice, that considered some standard features extras, like heat and air conditioning.

The elevator opened onto her floor and Lindsay led the way down the hotel – like hall, it had the same overly ornate carpet, glaringly obvious wallpaper, and stiff little tables with flowers. Lindsay's apartment was at the very opposite of end of the floor from the elevator on the right. As Lindsay opened the door Elizabeth – Iris noted her surroundings, the door was plain wood with shiny brass 5P above a peep hole that was above a matching shiny brass knocker. Lindsay threw open the door and lead the way inside. She had been right, the apartment wasn't stellar but it was still nice. Elizabeth – Iris could spot the steps taken to make the place more like home. Directly to the right of the door was a closet with slated doors that Lindsay had already woven ribbons through, all the windows had curtains and pictures were on the walls. Although nothing was painted it still felt pretty homey.

"You've done well, Klebriger Bär3."

"Your room is down the hall on the left." Lindsay said disappearing into what could be assumed was the kitchen.

"I have my own room?" Elizabeth – Iris asked picking up her stuff and heading for the indicated space.

"How do you think I support my open invitation to the Hoxies? You think I would make you sleep on the coach?" Lindsay asked, both women laughed. The guest room was decorated in early attic, the bed was wrought iron framed with a hand made quilt, the dresser was Lindsay's from her youth, the extra seating/ storage was Lindsay's hope chest from her sweet sixteen and her old school grandparents. Elizabeth – Iris recognized the pieces from the summer days they spent chilling with each other's family in between work and trips, the art was also familiar, almost every piece was either a picture of the happy Hoxies or an original by Wookiee. Elizabeth – Iris smiled and set her stuff down on the bed.

"Is this my room or Wookiee's art gallery?" she called, Lindsay appeared in the doorway.

"Wookiee has the best stuff." Lindsay said. "Now make yourself at home; mi casa, es su casa. I'm going to go back to work."

"Do I get to go to Mackenzie's?" Elizabeth – Iris asked hopefully.

"I suppose so, I won't hear the end of it if you don't." Lindsay sighed heavily

"This whole streaking thing is going to be all over the office when I get back."

"Have fun at work." Elizabeth – Iris wished her friend, Lindsay handed her the spare key, and said she'd be back around seven and to not bother with a wardrobe for the night.

Lindsay managed to get back up to her floor at work without incident, she was almost ready to hope that Elizabeth – Iris's story was slow to spread and would soon go away. And then she heard it, music was coming from Adam's lab, he had a small boom box set up and had switched it on when he saw her come in; _Oh yes, they call him the streak, fastest thing on two feet, he's just as proud as he can be, of his anatomy, he's gonna give us a peek…_

"Goddamn it." Lindsay swore under her breath, she did her best to ignore it and continued to her office, as callous as it sounded; she hoped for a call so the office would leave her alone and focus on a case. When she reached her shared little office she found Danny bent over some paperwork and a large bottle of Windex atop her desk.

"What the…?" Lindsay asked, her hopes were dashed it was open season on her now that the information was leaked. Danny didn't miss a beat nor did he look up.

"Supposed to keep things from streaking." He told her. Lindsay sighed and moved the bottle to the floor and sat down at her desk, she made sure to give him a sharp tap with her foot to his shine, it just made him laugh.

"'Ey Montana, I'm not the idiot that did anything worth telling stories about, kick yourself." He replied looking up from the page and smirking, Lindsay really wanted to stick her tongue out or blow a raspberry but someone had to be mature and maturity was something she was good at. She focused on work and the exchange of barbs was halted for the time being.

After the musical introduction and Windex the lab seemed to be quite about her youth nudity, although more and more people seemed to be in the humming/ whistling mood, and all of them liked one particular song.

_He ain't rude, boogie-dy, boogie-dy He ain't lewd, boogie-dy, boogie-dy He's just in the mood to run in the nude Oh yes, they call him the streak He likes to turn the other cheek He's always making the news Wearin' just his tennis shoes Guess you could call him unique..._

She couldn't wait for the day to end.

* * *

1 German for Guess what; 2 Spanish for Sugar Plum Fairy; 3 German for Gummy Bear

_In case you haven't noticed this was written pre season three so ignore this new round of episodes. Tell me what you think..._

_Streakie_


	3. Sexy Blue Eyed Boy

In Hoxie We Trust

* * *

Disclaimer: I own my sense of reality; actual reality is out of my hands.

AN: Big special thanks to ChocoBetty for looking over my German, she is so my hero! I also have a challange for ya'll - how many trivia refrences can you spot, they're pretty obsucre.

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Chapter Two: Sexy Blue Eyed Boy

Mackenzie's Place was a cop bar; its orientation was so clear that the only way it could be any more obvious is if the owners replaced the current sign with a giant badge. Mackenzie's was one of the favorite haunts of the Dayshift CSIs. Lindsay loved Mackenzie's, it was homey and it was safe feeling, nobody pulled shit at a cop bar. Lindsay took off work early to go and pick up Elizabeth – Iris, but despite the fifteen minute head start the roommates were still the last of their party to arrive.

"What'cha drinkin' Linds?" Doug Thomas, bartender extraordinaire asked by way of greeting as the Montanan walked through the door. Lindsay smiled at the man, she really liked him, he was hard not to like, he listened, he talked, and he was a guarantied laugh.

"A Lebowski, man." Lindsay ordered checking around for the rest of the CSIs, she spotted Mac, Stella, Hawkes and his girlfriend at the usual corner table. She soon found Danny and Don at the other end of the bar; they were talking to the other bartender, Bob Szalinski. Danny was the first to notice them, he nudged Don who looked up in their direction and said something, more than likely about newly available information. Don starred with a cockeyed expression on his face.

"And what will your friend be having?" Doug asked directing attention to Elizabeth – Iris who had yet to order.

"That sexy blue eyed boy." Lindsay turned to look at her friend, Elizabeth – Iris's violet eyes were fixed unwaveringly across the room from them, following her line of sight she found Don looking their way still. Lindsay looked between the two.

"Don?" Lindsay asked part confused, part surprised.

"You know him?" Elizabeth – Iris asked excitedly.

"Yeah, I work with him." It had been a while since Lindsay had been with anyone in the dating scene; even though she was technically in it too it was never something like the woman to her right. She had been almost asexual when it came to her romantic life, Elizabeth – Iris was all sex.

"Your dudness," Doug said setting a White Russian on the bar for Lindsay, "and a S.B.E.B." He placed next to that a creamy blue drink in a highball glass. Lindsay grabbed her drink and waved a hand in front of her friend's face.

"Thanks Dougy, you're a peach." Lindsay said before leading Elizabeth – Iris over to the CSI table.

"Hey guys." Lindsay greeted the table; Danny and Don were still at the bar with Bob. "Farmer," Lindsay said turning to make sure her friend was focusing, "You already met Mac and Stella, the other member of the team is Sheldon Hawkes," Lindsay said motioning to each name barer in order left to right. "And next to him is his girlfriend, Talitha Koum. Hawkes, Talitha, this is Elizabeth – Iris, my best friend from college." Lindsay slid into the booth next to Talitha now that introductions were over.

"So you're the one that came in today and randomly told the office that Lindsay streaked in college." Hawkes said drawing Elizabeth – Iris into a conversation. Elizabeth – Iris smiled broadly.

"It fit in the context of the conversation." She told the table. Lindsay decided to focus on Talitha, she was like lightning, the few times she was seen she was breathtaking but she was going back to school and rarely had time to sleep let alone go anywhere with Sheldon and the team. But the relationship between she and Hawkes wasn't strained in the slightest, he was prouder than anything of her and she was completed by his unwavering support.

"'Ey Farmer, I see Montana brought ya." Danny said returning from the bar and sliding into the booth to sit directly across from Lindsay, he smirked at her.

"I'm out for good behavior." Elizabeth – Iris replied winking at Danny before turning expectantly to look at Flack who filled the remaining seat directly across from her. Elizabeth – Iris looked like a kid on Christmas as she looked at Flack across from her.

"Elizabeth – Iris, but call me Farmer." Elizabeth – Iris said extending her hand.

"Flack." Don said taking it. "Well Don Flack but Flack is what I'm more likely to respond to." Both smiled as they dropped hands.

"Now I didn't hear about this whole streaking story." Don said readdressing the table, giving Lindsay a wry grin. Lindsay rolled her eyes.

"Thanks to Farmer you can ask anyone in the lab and get the full story."

"You still love me though."

"That doesn't mean I like you, Mausi1." Lindsay retorted patting her friend's hand.

"German?" Danny asked, "You speak German?" He directed the question to Lindsay, perhaps Elizabeth – Iris wasn't crazy when she said that Danny wanted to learn things about her.

"I can say twenty some things in German thanks to Farmer; I took Spanish because for some reason I thought practical might come in handy." Elizabeth – Iris snorted.

"Spanish is so passé."

"Do you even remember how to speak German?" Lindsay asked.

"I can still ask for an around the world from a German hooker." Elizabeth – Iris shrugged. The men at the table chocked on their various drinks as the woman laughed.

"I rest my case." Lindsay said sipping her White Russian with a satisfied smile.

"That's vital information." Elizabeth – Iris objected.

"As you can see we only remember the lascivious uses for foreign languages." Lindsay said.

"Do you speak any other languages?" Danny asked.

"I took four years of high school Spanish, I know my twenty some words of German, my ABCs in sign language as well as baby, apple, splits, two ways to say f – you, I love sea turtles, sandwich, and Jesus loves me, I can swear in French, and can order a white Russian in Russian." Lindsay said; Danny gave her a calculating look before breaking for a sip of his amber colored drink. Don turned to Elizabeth – Iris.

"Do you speak anything besides English and German?" he asked.

"About the same as Lindsay, although my Russian isn't as extinctive, apparently 'в советской России Русский язык говорит Вас.'" Elizabeth – Iris's accent was truly atrocious.

"What?" Talitha asked.

"In Soviet Russia Russian speaks you." Lindsay translated, "it was a Wookiee thing." The table looked at them.

"There's more of us." Elizabeth – Iris said.

"How many more?" Mac asked, he sounded like a general asking about the number of snipers. Elizabeth – Iris's eye's twinkled; the Hoxie girls were her favorite topic of conversation.

"Linds, me, Karenina Woteki - Lowen and Gwen Palen are the original Hoxie Girls." She made jazz hands at 'Hoxie Girls'.

"We all lived together in college." Lindsay said, "In Helser Hall, all four years on Hoxie floor."

"And Dowd legend tells us of an extraordinary group of friends who rose from their college dorms to make some legends to actually tell about Dowd College." Elizabeth – Iris said in a movie announcer voice, a grin splitting her face.

"It's sort of a deranged combination of the Ya – Ya sisterhood and Sex and the City." Lindsay interpreted with a shrug. "We call Karenina Wookiee because her last name reminded us of Chewbacca the Wookiee…"

"We thought it up on a sugar high our what, sophomore year – late freshman year?" Elizabeth – Iris continued.

"You named one friend after a two hundred year old dog – teddy bear thing and they call you Farmer, is that another sugar induced movie reference?" Sheldon asked.

"No that was Lindsay trying to be humorous. It didn't really work…" Lindsay lightly smacked her friend who smirked.

"Did too you use it in your interdiction. 'Elizabeth – Iris but call me Farmer.'" It was a terrible impression but the table laughed. "It's your parents fault that you're initials are E – I – O."

"Okay so what do you call Lindsay then?" Danny asked leaning forward, eager for another something to throw at her; Lindsay smiled sweetly at him and locked her jaw.

"We used to call her Tractor." Elizabeth – Iris said flatly.

"Tractor, really?" Danny was so full of himself he was oozing.

"For the love of…" Lindsay moaned.

"Why don't you tell them why Trac, it's your own fault." Elizabeth – Iris nudged her friend.

"Just break out the baby pictures Farmer." Lindsay said sarcastically setting down her old – fashioned glass with a heavy thunk.

"I'm interested Lindsay, why Tractor." Stella said Mac couldn't hide his smile behind his whiskey. Lindsay sighed and rubbed her face, _Goddamn_.

"We were at the state fair the summer between our freshman and sophomore year. Farmer and I were with a chatty artist getting a cartooning done, Wookiee and Gwen with another one." Lindsay began from behind her hand, she could feel Danny staring and it was like a hot flash without the age. "So we were talking and got on to the topic of farm machinery and tractors. And I like an idiot I spoke before I thought. What I was thinking was; that living in a very suburban area and the only time I ever saw tractors was when I was going to visit my family. So tractors were sort of a signal that I was going to hang out with the family and pretend that I didn't live in cookie cutter hell. That was what my mind was saying, what I articulated to the surrounding population was 'I get excited when I see tractors'. There was dead silence for like thirty seconds no one spoke but everybody looked at me. Then the guy doing the cartooning goes 'That's kinda kinky.'" The table roared with laughter, even Mac was smiling. Danny had tears in his eyes and was banging the table, with every solid connection of his fist with the table Lindsay's White Russian jumped closer and closer to the edge until Splash the beige drink fell off the table and into Lindsay's lap.

"Oh shit!" Danny exclaimed stopping mid pound and looking at the mess his mirth had made. "Gawd, I'm sorry Tractor." He said, Lindsay was already sliding out of the booth, before she rushed to the lady's room she wagged a finger at him.

"Montana or Tractor, pick one Cowboy." She then trotted off to get the half and half and vodka concoction out of her pants.

"Let me up Flack." Danny said nudging his best friend off the bench, "better get her another one of whatever the hell she always gets here – Dougy should know right?" He ran a hand through his short hair making it stick up slightly, Elizabeth – Iris could see why her friend found him attractive; she could do much worse in her interest.

"It was a White Russian with half and half." She told him helpfully. "Lindsay is a huge Joel and Ethan Coen fan."

"Okay…" Danny said before heading to the bar, he didn't understand the clue she had given him. Elizabeth – Iris sighed, if he opened his eyes a bit more he would see his object of affection's preferences, Lindsay was walking trivia the White Russians were a symptom of her favorite directors' work. Some CSI. Elizabeth – Iris brought her attention back to the table, Flack was looking at her again. The first time she had met his blue eyes from across the bar it had been like cinematic gold, her knees were jerked right out from under her. Eyes like his shouldn't be legal. He kept those deadly weapons of swoon inducing proportion locked with her as he reached out to take Danny's half drunken old fashioned glass and taste the brunette liquid.

"A Montana. He's ordered a lot more of these lately." Flack said to the table returning the drink to its original place. "He used to be a beer person." The other members of the table agreed that Danny had seemed to have switched his drink preferences. Don turned his direct focus to Elizabeth – Iris's and she fought a blush and the mental list of a hundred outfits that looked better on her than the one she was wearing.

"He seems to order one whenever something has happened with his Montana." He spoke directly to her and she got his message loud and clear. Danny was just as interested in Lindsay as she was in him. A smile spread across her face.

"So, Farmer," Stella said setting aside her Greek Sex on the Beach and smiling at her, Elizabeth – Iris knew she liked the detective from the second she met her.

Elizabeth – Iris couldn't decide if it was the super cute shoes Stella was wearing or her personality but Elizabeth – Iris instantly knew that Stella was a keeper.

"Lindsay mentioned you were a lawyer, what branch brings you to the city?"

"I've been hired by legal aid, I'm in business law." Elizabeth – Iris said taking a sip of her Sexy Blue Eyed Boy.

Danny and Lindsay reappeared as she finished her statement, Lindsay's pants were still a bit damp but she had clearly forgotten about that as she smiled and sipped her fresh Caucasian.

"That was because in the last Coen film Buscemi's character Carl would never shut up. He 'died' in both films as well as Miller's Crossing." Lindsay was telling him when they took their seats once again.

"Not the trivia, Linds." Elizabeth – Iris barbed.

"Like you weren't discussing your Law and Order ness, Jack." Lindsay replied.

"Lennie." Elizabeth – Iris fired back, both women then observed a moment of silence for their lost comrade. It was ended by the simultaneous beeping of three pagers. Lindsay, Mac, and Stella groaned and looked at their pagers.

"I always get the best times to be on call." Lindsay complained taking a final drink of her White Russian.

"How are we on sobriety?" Mac asked standing up.

"We haven't been here long enough to get drunk." Stella said joining him in an upright position.

"And even when she's drunk Lindsay is as sober as a judge, slightly less articulate than normal but totally earnest." Elizabeth – Iris said sliding out of the booth.

"Shut up Farmer, I remember some of your profound declarations, 'My brain is hung like a horse?'" the CSIs laughed.

"Well it is." Elizabeth – Iris said before the friends kissed left, kissed right, kissed left again. "I'll get the Lebowski's you get the bad guys."

"Alrighty, would somebody make sure she gets back to my place okay?" Lindsay directed to the remaining members of their drinking party.

"Linds, I'm a big girl." Elizabeth – Iris protested.

"I know that's why I worry." Lindsay told her, then with a loving swat to her butt the women parted ways. "Don't do anything I wouldn't." She called over her shoulder just before the door closed.

"Way ahead of you." Elizabeth – Iris said to the closed door before retaking her seat with the remaining Don, Danny, Sheldon, and Talitha.

* * *

1 German: petit form of mouse 


	4. It's Pat

In Hoxie We Turst

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Disclaimer: I own my sense of reality; actual reality is out of my hands.

* * *

Chapter Three: It's Pat

Detective Maka was already at the scene when Lindsay, Mac, and Stella arrived. She was standing beside a pile of black garbage bags and a tin trash can talking to another officer as they approached. They were on the famous Gay Street in the Village; it was not the way Lindsay would've liked to have seen the area.

"Maka." Mac greeted the woman, "What do we have?"

"Jane Doe thrown out with the trash – yuppie couple saw a chair they wanted and found her." Maka replied pointed to the pile, one hot pink heel could be seen poking out between bags.

The victim was uniquely pretty, her clothing was flamboyant in a tasteful way that would make Lindsay jealous if circumstances were different, her make up was flawless and her hair was styled. Mac processed the body as Stella and Lindsay sifted through the random items that collected around any trash can in the city. Lindsay found nothing until she tripped over a bag; it was an awesome thing, designer and big enough to fit a small child in. With trepidation she unzipped the top. Inside was a pair of pants, shirt, shoes, and wallet all male. Lindsay flipped the leather billfold open and found twenty dollars, credit cards, receipts, and an ID. Gabe Inner; 30, 6'4", 190lbs. Lindsay looked at the photo, Mr. Inner looked vaguely familiar. Standing up she looked at the Jane Doe again. She was a he.

"I've got his ID." Lindsay announced.

"Her ID Linds." Stella corrected straightening up to join body, Mac, and Lindsay. Mac looked at the ID and then the body before speaking,

"Let's say 'Pat's' ID." He handed the license to Stella.

Back at Mackenzie's the remaining CSIs were having a ball. Elizabeth – Iris was starting to absolutely love New York. They swapped stories about bizarre murders and stupid criminals, this was of course between Danny pumping her for Lindsay information and many dream like looks from Detective Flack. She was a school girl again. Sheldon was also a great guy, he seemed to have a quite attitude but when he did speak, he was off the carts funny. He didn't stay too much longer after Lindsay left however, he proclaimed his girlfriend had a killer exam and needed to cram, the girlfriend only smiled and winked – Elizabeth – Iris got the message but said nothing of it, they said their good nights an left Elizabeth – Iris to size up the two remaining NYPD employees, and her first observation was that Detectives Flack and Messer were what people were talking about when they said New York's finest. Danny met Lindsay's criteria, she was a sucker for glasses and any kind of an accent, Mr. Messer had both, he was also well built, smart, defiantly charming, and funny. Everything Lindsay liked in a man on a superficial level was there and it was interested in her, she was just too… too Lindsay to open her eyes. She could pick unknown fibers off carpet with her naked eye but she was totally, deaf, dumb, and blind when it came to the opposite sex. Elizabeth – Iris wasn't, she could see that Danny was very much Lindsay's speed. She could also see that Don Flack was definitely her speed. He was tall, dark and handsome with eyes she had never seen before, no man before had had eyes so blue they captivated her, but he did. And his hair, so dark and rich in color with that length that would make a mother reach for the scissors but made her reach for a table to keep from melting. It had to be good if his hair was a turn on. And then just his face in general was great, Lindsay liked glasses, Elizabeth – Iris liked noses, and Don had a nose fit for the gods. And he wore a suit and tie. She waited all her youth for when she would be an adult, not because she wanted to drink, or vote, or drive, but because she loved a man in a tie and high school boys hardly wore polos. Man did she love suits, and man did she love Flack's suit in particular. Heaven, she was in heaven.

They talked and drank until ten when Elizabeth – Iris couldn't hide her yawns any longer. Damn flying took it out of a person.

"You ready to go back to Lindsay's?" Don asked kindly.

"It kills me to say but my brain is powering doowwnn…" she yawned again.

"We all probably should head home." Danny said checking his wrist watch. "Oh yeah, it's ten and I gotsta early shift tomorrow." He finished his second Montana of the night and set the glass down solid on the table. Elizabeth – Iris reached for her purse to buy the drinks, she tossed her cash atop of the greenbacks put in by Danny and Don and stood up.

"Sorry to cut the night short fellas. But it was fabulous while it lasted." Elizabeth – Iris said stretching a little and readjusting her bag on her shoulder.

"Like I said, got the bird shift 'morrow." Danny said. "Gotta say this was a great way to lose sleep, those Montana stories… thanks for tellin' 'em." She knew that he had enough food for thought to chock a horse, and if she understood the depth of his affection the way she thought she did, chock a chicken as well.

"I'll take you home." Don said as the trio headed for the door. It was a quandary for her, on the one hand the contraction plus three words was a symphony to her ears, on the other hand the contraction plus three words was a blow to the independence she had carefully crafted around herself – Elizabeth – Iris Olsen didn't need no stinking man, she was strong and could make it in the big bad city, she was woman. Roar!

"Now come on Farmer, I promised Lindsay, and I may not know ever last bawdy secret but I do know that she will have my ass on a platter if I don't personally see you safely to your destination." Flack said holding the door for her with one hand and waving at the bartenders with the other. His eyes hypnotized her as his words sunk in, he was right.

"Damn it, you're right." She sighed. "You don't live on the other side of town and I'm putting you out or something that would make me feel guilty like that right?" she asked.

"Nope, Messer's on the other side of town, in comparison I'm a neighbor." Flack said smiling at her, she felt like jelly.

"Okay…" she said giving herself over to him. "G'night Danny." Elizabeth – Iris gave a little wave, Danny returned it before hailing a cab in a way that she could only aspire to, one signal and a shinny yellow chariot was there to whisk him away. Don took her elbow and led her to the curb, his long legs the motor between the two, she was long gone at the slight touch of his long fingers on her skin, his warmth was spreading through her like wildfire. He too managed to get a cab with only seconds of signaling. He handed her in with another smile before sliding beside her.

"Were to?" The cabby asked with a cockney accent, New York had it all.

"141 West 72nd, please." She said before turning to Don in the dark of the back seat.

"How does it take you three second to get a cab and me three hours – I practically walked to your guys' building before I got a Taxi." It was a stab at conversation.

"I'm from Yonkers, it's in my blood." He said.

"And Danny?" she asked, although she already knew the answer, alas the words were already out.

"Stanton Island, couldn't you tell by the accent?"

"I don't have a thing for accents like Lindsay." Elizabeth – Iris said taking her eyes from Flack to watch out the windshield, the cities twinkling lights added more cinematic ambiance to the cab ride.

"Linds has a thing for accents?" Flack asked, she could tell he was thinking about Danny's voice with Lindsay's preference.

"Loves them." She emphasized.

"Really, and what is your little attraction quirk, Farmer, what do you love?" Flack asked.

"Suits." She said she knew looking at him was out of the question but she still pondered his expression. They were quiet for the rest of the ride.

Back at the lab Lindsay had Mr./ Ms. Inner's clothing laid out; wig, blouse, fake boobs, underwear, pants, hose, and shoes. She had processed the wardrobe already, she found lots of hair; long synthetic red from the wig, animal hair, and some long human hair. There was also a wet spot on the blouse that was for DNA, but other than that the only exciting thing about the outfit was the color. She moved to the wig. It was curly red, shoulder length and high quality. She wished that she had had this wig for the few times she had had a wig for various things she did in high school and college. Running a comb through the curls she hit a few snags but it was almost exactly like natural hair. Clack an acrylic finger nail fell out of a knot of curls. Lindsay picked it up off the table, it was as long as her natural fingernails were, and it was the broken off bit. Damn those things were scary, she bagged it and when back to the wig.

Stella came in as Lindsay switched to processing the wig cap and pins. The old bit of panty hose that held natural hair was torn from where the pins had been and then suddenly not, it looked like someone had ripped the wig off Mr. / Ms. Inner's head. Perhaps explaining the fake fingernail and knot in the hair.

"Shouldn't you go home and make sure Farmer got in alright?" Stella asked looking over the work on the table.

"Farm's a big girl and I'm sure Danny or Don would see her home, if for no other reason than to pump her for more information." Lindsay said as she began to pack up her stuff, she needed to drop the wet spot off at DNA and see if the deadly looking acrylic nail was special.

"Are you sure you don't want to be there to help her settle?" Stella persisted.

"Mein Haus ist ihr Haus1." Lindsay said, not looking at anything but properly logging everything.

"How about this, go home and be with your friend, you've worked all day and most of the night leading up to that day and I don't want you doing that again, go home, gab with your friend, fall asleep and come in a little late, okay?" Stella told her firmly. Lindsay looked at her, Stella quirked a brow as if to say, 'Try and argue.'

"Oh, alright Stella, I'll finish up here and go home, geez." Stella just smiled and patted her back before walking off.

Mac's blinds were closed but his door was open when Stella went by his office. At the hour there was no one but the graveyard shift employees all confined to their labs or offices, no one around Mac's. Stella entered and shut his door, Mac looked up from his paperwork the annoyed expression on his face disappearing when he saw it was Stella shutting his door to disturb him.

"I sent Lindsay home to be with Elizabeth – Iris." She said walking over to the chair across from his desk. She sat down and kicked off her shoes. "What do you think of the recent twenty four hours?" she asked.

"You mean meeting Lindsay's friend and finding out she streaked?" Mac asked, seeing through the leading question and getting to the point.

"Yeah." Stella said smiling at his directness and resting her naked toes on his desk.

"Elizabeth – Iris seems to be a good friend, nice woman, and perfect for Lindsay. As for the stories, who hasn't streaked?" Stella's dark brow shot up. "You need to redo your toes." Mac said looking at the chipped plum polish. Stella stood and brought her chair around to join him behind his desk. Mac opened a lower drawer and pulled out an exact match of polish, Stella propped her feet in his lap.

"Danny seemed particularly interested in Farmer." Stella said as Mac unscrewed the cap on Passionate Plum

"Correction, Don was particularly interested in Farmer, Danny was interested in the Lindsay stories Farmer told."

"You noticed!" Stella exclaimed pleasantly surprised.

"I'm a CSI." He told her as he applied another coat of plum to her big toe.

"So, what do you think of Danny and Lindsay?" Stella asked, leaning forward on her thighs to look at Mac expectantly.

"I don't know about that…" Mac said, now he was being coy.

"And you don't know how to paint nails either." Stella said.

"Hey!" Mac said jabbing her with the brush, leaving a liquid purple dot on the top of her foot. Stella wiped it up with her finger and smeared it across Mac's cheek bone with a satisfied smile. He made to retaliate but Stella held up a hand.

"Don't want to smudge your handy work." She said pointing to her foot.

"Just get it off of me." Mac replied. Stella took her feet out of his lap and scooted closer to him, when she was practically in his lap she licked her thumb and whipped off the smudge of purple, she returned to her original position.

"So what were we talking about?" Mac asked.

"We were discussing the relationship between Danny and Lindsay." Stella said.

"Ah yes." Mac groaned. "What do you think?"

"I think that he has an adult male version of a crush on her, and I think she might've doodled on scratch at home a little combination of their names." Stella said. "And I think that if they pull their head's out of their asses they'd see what was going on, hook up and have some very cute kids. What do you think?"

"I think that whatever they do will be what they do." Mac replied finishing her little toe on her right foot.

"Come on! They're good for each other, complimentary. She's a Midwestern miss with an even temper, very calm. He's a boy from the neighborhood with a temper. He's like salsa or Tabasco sauce, spices everything up. She's like Sour cream, she calms things down, mellows it out. He's changing and it's because of her." Stella said. Mac began to paint the other big toe.

"He was growing with Aiden." Mac pointed out.

"Aiden beat his poorer qualities out of him, he changed to avoid a can of whoop ass, he changed for his sister. Lindsay doses nothing about his flaws but dislike them and because she doesn't like them, he changes. It's the difference in the kind of love." Stella countered. Mac sighed.

"Your point." He conceded.

"Why thank you. Now what do you think of Elizabeth – Iris and Don, could you feel it too?"

"Even if I give you opinion you'll just make me change it." Mac said focusing on her feet.

"Mac… did you at least feel that sizzle?" Stella said in a mock huff.

"I did pick up on the fact they both seemed to like each other." She smiled, he smiled.

"They seem to be another good couple, not as opposite as Danny and Lindsay, but more harmonious, like a chord." Stella said, folding forward to blow in her toes, Mac put the cap back on the bottle of nail polish and smiled at the woman in his lap.

"Alright so we have office romance on our hand, what do you want me to do?" Mac questioned. Stella sat up quickly and smiled.

"Admitting it is the first step." She said before standing and moving his office back to the way he had it before. Slipping on her shoes she said,

"I'm going to go home; you don't stay up too late, okay?" He picked up his pen and nodded.

"Good night." He wished her.

"G'night Mac."

Across town Elizabeth – Iris and Flack stood in front of Lindsay's apartment building.

"You don't have to walk me up." She told him.

"Oh yes, I do. I promised to see you home, and I will do what I told Lindsay I would do. I'm not about to piss her off, I think you know better than I what that would mean for me." Don said, Elizabeth – Iris smiled and let herself into the building, Don followed. They were quiet up to the fifth floor, Elizabeth – Iris felt a little awkward bringing a man back to her friend's apartment, even if he wasn't staying. Even more awkward was the thoughts and feelings about what it would be like if he was. They reached her floor. She headed down the hall, Don beside her. The ghost of his hand on her elbow or back or hand played at her, scaring up emotions. She shook herself.

"Alright?" He asked, damn that didn't help her any.

"Just quaking in mute horror at the prospect of apartment hunting on short notice." She lied convincingly; it was a pre – law class.

"How much time do you have?" He asked.

"Tomorrow I'm looking for a realtor, hopefully the day after I can start looking at stuff." She replied they finally reached the shiny Brass 5P of Lindsay's home. "This is me."

"When you find something, let me know and I can help." He said, it was film worthy, she stood back to the apartment looking up a good foot to met his eyes as the city's lights shone through the window, he shoved his hands in his pocket. _Gee, I hope he's just playing with his keys._ She smiled and blushed at her bawdy thought.

"Other's need you more than I do." She said not as convincingly.

"I've got another two, three weeks of desk duty that I can easily get out of. Nothing is more pertinent than living up to my oath," He held up two fingers in the in the Cub Scout promise. "To serve and protect. I can get you acquainted with the town; keep the shisters from taking you in with apartments, and I can fill you in on what Lindsay missed when it comes to the big blue NYPD gossip lines." His grin was knock her over with a feather good, she could just look at his lips and think about being a lot closer to the door and a lot closer to him at the same time.

"Well… What?"

"Can I have your tie?" she asked and mentally put her very cute boot in her very cute ass. _You're even calling yourself a freak, FREAK; scare his hot body away why don't you!_ Flack looked at her, no taking back her words now, she tapped the door knob.

"I may be growing older but I'm not growing up." He seemed to get the message and he dug his long fingers into the knot and undid the half Windsor knot of his silk green and green striped tie. He handed it to her with a smile. He almost looked better without it. Almost, but even with this slight 'drop' in attractiveness he was still hot enough to melt her. She diverted her eyes to his tie in her hands.

"Now what about my proposition?" He asked her head shot up again.

"Vas2?" She asked, he looked at her hands and it was his turn to blush.

"Uh, my question." He rephrased. Question, question, had he been talking to her? All thought was out of her mind at the moment; leave a message… ah yes the apartment hunt.

"We'll see." She said smiling for confidence.

"In that case…" he reached inside his suit jacket, God, watch out, Don Flack was being launched beyond natural stratospheres of hotness. Elizabeth – Iris went nuts for inside jacket pockets. He pulled out a card, his official one, but he flipped it over and followed the small cardstock with a pen, he scratched on the back of it and handed it to her between the back of his index finger and pad of his middle.

"Let me know what you've seen when you've seen it. Now tie your tie and let me hear you lock the door."

"Let me give you cab fare home." Elizabeth – Iris said reaching for her wallet inside of her Brighton bag, he caught her hand and she was more solid than Lot's wife. His fingers fit around her wrist with length to spare, she looked up at him.

"Don't bother, you'll need it to get a place to live." He said, despite her daze from looking into his cerulean eyes she still had her pride to fight.

"But…"

"I won't take it."

"You've gone above and beyond…"

"You want to thank me, then call me… let me give you a hand." He said. How could she deny that, she didn't have the brain power.

"Alright." She managed, slowly he let go.

"Now tie your tie and let me hear you lock up." Like a robot she turned to the door knob and tied a simple securing knot on the knob. She was amazed it stayed; her dexterity was like every other sense and physical thing about her off kilter and humming. She then unlocked the door and opened it,

"Good night Don." She said not knowing why she used his first name, he as good as told her he didn't like it, yet she sort of did. She certainly liked the feeling of it on her tongue. She leaned on the open door.

"Pleasant dreams Elizabeth – Iris, good night sweet princess." Don replied. She didn't mean to shut the door the way she did but her knees had finally weakened to the point her body weight pushed the door closed. How she managed to do the thirty thousand locks she didn't know, all she knew was that once she saw his retreat through the peep hole she hurriedly undid her work and pulled the tie from the knob. Holding it close to her cheek she locked herself in again and rested against the secure door. In a daze she walked to her room. Don's tie was with her as she drifted off to sleep a short time later.

* * *

_It's Pat is an old SNL skit about a gender bender, in case you're not up and up on the lesser years of SNL, it was the same time as the look whose talking stuff. and yay for my first Smacked moment, Peyton who?_

1 German, my house is her house

2 What, German


	5. The Wrong Head

In Hoxie We Trust

Disclaimer: I own my sense of reality; actual reality is out of my hands.

AN: I up loaded this as a way to narcotize myself from my fears of this episode and how it was hyped, but I watched it and I have hope and a theory about Lindsay, her mom, the backstory, and domestic violence... so now these chapters are celebration, I can only dream of the stories this will produce.

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Chapter Four: The Wrong Head

Question: What had he been thinking? Answer: He hadn't been. Donald Flack Junior mulled, stewed, stirred, and cooked at 365 degrees for thirty minutes. If Lindsay would kill him if he didn't get Elizabeth – Iris home safely, what would she do if she thought he had slept with her after only knowing her… four hours, he checked his wrist watch, yep, he had only known Elizabeth – Iris four hours. His thoughts returned to the eminent world of hurt he was going to be in when Lindsay finds the little joke. Hopefully Farmer knew what she was doing… One thing to be said for this misadventure was that worry for the safety of his balls or something else important kept him from remembering other parts of his excursion. The cab ride to his apartment was spent in silent worse case scenario worry.

As he climbed the stairs to his eighth floor apartment he didn't curse the broken elevator like he usually did, he pondered Elizabeth – Iris whose ghost had been with him as soon as she physically had not. He'd only known her four hours but it felt like he knew her in a way that four years wouldn't even get him. He felt he knew her like he knew himself. He was completely at ease and completely infatuated. He shook his head, infatuation? He wasn't a Danny Messer but he had play - he didn't have infatuations. But as he ascended he heard her laugh and he saw her eyes like she was a poltergeist that was playing with him in a haunted house. She had beautiful eyes, they weren't saucers like Lindsay's nice eyes, they were saucy and they were deep. So blue they were almost purple and framed with dark eyelashes they were better than Elizabeth Taylor's supposedly legendary eyes. Her voice followed him; it was a strong mezzo – soprano with a slight lit that wasn't found in New York, lay over from Minnesota perhaps. Her laugh was throaty, hearty and real, and it resonated within him like a drum, it vibrated his nerves and made them tingle. He vainly attempted to free himself of her.

If he thought climbing the stairs was bad, standing in front of 8J with his key in hand was utter hell. He could see her clearly standing in front of him. She was at lest six inches to a foot shorter than he was but with her slim body he was sure he could pick her up and lift her to his mouth if some other arrangement couldn't be worked out. His mind's eye was cruel; from his spot with his key unturned in the lock he watched the vision of him and her against the door, him touching her paper white skin, her Indian ink hair, her very soft looking shirt. When he couldn't take the visions of what might've been but shouldn't be he turned his key and let himself in. He'd been living in this apartment for three and a half years now and everything was finally the way he wanted it. He knew his way blindfolded, which was almost true of his state now, he was dazed. Tossing his keys on the coffee table he headed for his bedroom stripping as he went. He reached for his tie and found it removed. He remembered Elizabeth – Iris. As he emptied his pockets he looked at the stuff coming out of them as well as his hands. His hanky reminded him of Elizabeth – Iris, his wallet did as well, his hands – not a ring in sight, his mind lingered on the attorney and he forcefully shook it from his thoughts. _"Really, and what is your little attraction quirk, Farmer, what do you love?"_ he remembered asking her as he took off his jacket and hung it up. Toeing off his shoes and undoing his belt he remembered her answer. _"Suits."_ God it was four hours and he was affected. Easing his pants down he swore, now he knew what Danny was too stubborn to admit to feeling like. Tossing his shirt in the dry cleaning basket he took off his socks and sat down on the bed and starred at his affliction. Down boy. It wasn't critical yet and he hoped that it would lie down as he did; he tested his theory, climbed into bed and turned off the light. No dice, closed eyes were an IMAX for images of Elizabeth – Iris. Her narrow face, thin, pert nose, full lips and gorgeous eyes. Don turned the light back on, he needed to take the edge off or he'd not get any sleep.

It wasn't a good sign how soon he lost it, but he didn't care he was tired, and surely if he ever was with her things would be different. At least the edge was off. He sighed and cleaned up, changing his boxers and returning to bed.

"Not your best Flack – me – boy." He said to himself as he re-tucked himself in. "But at least your partner won't tell." He turned the light off again.

His dreams involved Elizabeth – Iris in bed but also in his kitchen, in his living room and in other parts of his house. He dreamed that they were crossing the threshold of a house, she in his arms as he hummed, _here comes the bride…_ She gave him a kiss on the cheek as he left for work, the hand that cupped his face had two white gold bands, one with a round diamond, the other without, "Have a good day dear"… He came home from work with her in the kitchen; silently he crept behind her and pulled her back to his front sliding his hands around her expanding stomach and kissing her hair… The dark haired baby had the sweetest head, finally he understood why his mother loved to kiss the top of his as a child Don laid his sleeping son in his crib… two boys wrestled in the living room while Elizabeth – Iris tried to stop them vainly… his two boys and him playing with other kids and their fathers…

If he hadn't been mesmerized and confused by his dreams of marital relations and by products he would've noticed that his mind had done some casting outside of his wife, he had found some images of children with big blue eyes and brown hair and Montana state tee shirts…

------break-----

Danny Messer wasn't drunk; he was however buzzed and tired. He had had two Montanas it was enough to give him a pre – drunk numbness. He hadn't liked Montanas until this year then he started craving them. It was just one more thing on his mind; he'd had a lot on his mind dealing with things in and around the 'M' word. The woman and the drink. A year ago at this time he was fine, he would have a woman with him in this ride, he would never feel half of what he was feeling now and certainly not be able to warp his head around them. His brain was drowning in emotion, swamped by love, fear, lust, confusion, excitement, curiosity, and depression, the combination was like a Molotov cocktail to the brain. _"She's bare assed trying to get her stuff back… I get excited when I see tractors… two hits – she hit him he hit the ground…"_ The conversations ran through his head in a loop. He wished he could've seen his petite Montana running in the moonlight, he wished he could drive a tractor and above all he wished that she didn't have to protect her own honor – he wished he could. Listening to Elizabeth – Iris was heaven and hell, it satisfied his curiosity, but it also made him hurt, hurt with hunger for more and hurt because he longed to be with her – see the stories first hand, make new ones, and see some not repeat. Casanova Messer was this emotionally involved with a woman miles away from him even when they were together, a woman who wouldn't give him the time of day if she didn't have to, a woman who was so above him, it was a cosmic joke. The thought depressed Danny, but it was his nature to fight the happiness that ever occurred to him. He was happy with Lindsay – thinking about Lindsay made him smile, thus he tried to be a realist and he ended up in depression, it was a vicious circle going round and round dragging him down. He could only have one Montana, the drink, and that illogical thought made him drink, drinking made him think. He went home alone and his bed never felt colder.


	6. Haters

In Hoxie We Trust

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Disclaimer: I own my sense of reality; actual reality is out of my hands.

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Chapter Five: Haters

Lindsay woke to the smell of coffee and hum of her friend in the kitchen. Elizabeth – Iris had been comatose when Lindsay returned home around 12:30 or one. She needed to remember to thank Danny and Don for taking care of her, this would have to be after she asked Farmer what she told them to determine if she could face them or not. Getting out of be she swore at the early fall chill and her hardwood floors.

Elizabeth – Iris was making French toast and waltzing to the radio she had on low, classical music was audible over the sound of cooking. Lindsay filled a mug generously and took a sip to clear her groggy head. She nearly had to chew her it; Farmer liked her coffee to bite her back.

"Good God Farmer you could stand a spoon in this." Lindsay complained reaching for her tea pot; she needed to add hot water in order to stomach her precious caffeine.

"Really? I thought it was rather weak." Elizabeth – Iris replied dumping fat slices of toast onto a plate.

"I drink it weak." Lindsay said joining her friend at the stove so she could heat the pot.

"You drink brown water." Lindsay yawned. Farmer's coffee attitude would fit her in well at the lab, especially if Don made the coffee. First time she tried a pot of his she had a flashback to college. He too made tar. The lab rats liked to run experiments in their mugs.

"So what time did you get home?" Elizabeth – Iris asked turning off her burner.

"I dunno one maybe, Stella sent me home…" the kettle whistled and Lindsay gratefully snatched it up.

"Good for her, you'd probably still be at the lab if she hadn't." Elizabeth – Iris said she was of course right but Lindsay wasn't going to concede the information.

"I woulda come home eventually, she was afraid you'd be scared." The women laughed and sat down at Lindsay's pathetic kitchen table/ desk/ counter.

"Bitte1, I lived in grudge Mecca, I don't get scared." Elizabeth – Iris quipped.

"What time did you get home?" Lindsay asked loading up her plate excited that Elizabeth – Iris actually could cook breakfast.

"Around ten, after I nearly fell asleep in the booth."

"Can I face the lab today?" Lindsay asked.

"Despite what you ego thinks we didn't spend all night talking about your misadventures youth." Elizabeth – Iris replied between bites of syrup dripping toast. The women ate in silence for a time, until Lindsay finished her toast.

"What did you tell them, just so I have a heads up." She asked. Elizabeth – Iris sighed thoughtfully.

"Just sort of talked about Hoxie and rooming together, told them you couldn't butterfly to save your life –"

"Did you mention that you suck at breast?" Lindsay shot back, both she and Farmer had done some swimming in high school it was how they were selected to room together, of course they swam different stokes and that fact turned the topic of swimming into a pissing match that they settled in the college pool, the end result was humor at what they couldn't do and respect for what they could.

"Do you want to hear this or not?" Lindsay threw up her hand in defeat. "I mentioned some of your finer break up moments and how you laid a guy out flat freshman year – although I didn't tell them how drunk he was so you might get wide birth today, they seem to know all about your more physical tendencies. Except of course about sex, although I think Danny is willing to learn about that too…" Lindsay almost cracked her dish as it slipped heavily into the sink.

"Farmer please, I have to work with him…" She groaned.

"Crime of opportunity." Elizabeth – Iris said, Lindsay huffed again, "Hey now, the last time you had sex was 2002, screw the fact you work with him – screw him." Elizabeth – Iris was really like the little devil on Lindsay's shoulder, they thought the same things, Farmer just said them too, and was more likely to do what she said. Of course the fact that every thought Elizabeth – Iris had plopped onto her tongue like a gumball strained their relationship some, but Lindsay loved her friend more than she hated the flaw.

"It's below me to mention the fact that the last time you got laid you didn't get off, and that was almost two years ago." Lindsay said turning to the sink to wash the dishes.

"Truce, now go take a shower and I'll clean up here." Elizabeth – Iris said hip checking her friend away from the sudsy water. Lindsay flicked water at her friend but didn't object to the option of showering first.

As soon as Elizabeth – Iris heard the water begin to run she rushed to her friend's room and threw open the closet. She had been serious about the whole four years without any human contact; Danny would be good for her in more ways than one. Elizabeth – Iris looked at the clothing in the tiny space… could you say Eddie Bauer? She wasn't even a Gap ad. Farmer knew her friend couldn't wear anything too nice to work because she had the luck to wreck it, but the wardrobe was too much. Elizabeth – Iris flipped through Lindsay's blouses until she found the best thing in the whole closet; it was a sea-foam green v – neck tee, Elizabeth – Iris tossed it on to the bed and hunted for more of an outfit. Finally she came up with a chocolate suede jacket and respectable looking jeans. The final touch was a pair of dark brown thin heeled boots. Satisfied Elizabeth – Iris returned to the dirty dishes. Lindsay was a great girl all she needed was a nudge and a wink.

Meanwhile in the shower Lindsay's mind drifted far from lather, rinse, repeat. Although the viscosity of shampoo did play a part in her thoughts. Ideas always come in the shower and they were coming full force. Elizabeth – Iris' observations sent her mind reeling, so she was in the shower with Danny on the brain and a good imagination. Flustered she changed the water temperature and hurriedly finished her shower regime. _A naked Steve Buscemi. Naked Steve Buscemi._ Lindsay thought trying to purify her mind before work. She had to focus on things other than herself… and Danny… and her and Danny. _Naked Steve Buscemi!_

Lindsay understood what Elizabeth – Iris was saying when she saw a perfect outfit laid out on her bed. She understood it, didn't mean she liked it.

"Farmer! What are you doing?" Lindsay called looking at the clothing. Elizabeth – Iris popped her head in the door.

"Sweetie you look like an L.L. Bean model – at least go GAP." She said, Lindsay huffed.

"If I look good at work that's the day I get garbage detail or something equally as charming." Lindsay said.

"A messy job is no excuse for poor clothing." Elizabeth – Iris replied looking at her friend's underwear while she had a chance. Elizabeth – Iris's face twisted like rubber as she finished her examination of Lindsay's full coverage Victoria Secret nude briefs and bra. "We're going shopping… no if ands or buts this is ridiculous." Lindsay picked a pillow up off the bed and tossed it at her friend's head who ducked.

"Take your shower, you look greasy and smell." Lindsay said. Elizabeth – Iris stuck out her tongue before saying,

"Alright but you're not allowed to pick out your clothing today." The women parted ways. Lindsay looked at the wardrobe choice of the day and decided, oh what the hell.

"_Some enchanted evening you may see a stranger, you may see a stranger across a crowded room and somehow you know, you know even then that somewhere you'll see him again and again…"_ Elizabeth – Iris's low range boomed out in her best Emile as she showered and Lindsay smiled, she was pretty sure she knew who the stranger was. It had been a very long time since Elizabeth – Iris had looked at anyone the way she had looked at Flack, Lindsay was happy for her friend, Flack was a great guy and Elizabeth – Iris was naturally beyond great. They'd be a fun couple although Lindsay couldn't bring herself to delve deeper into the relationship awkward and worry soon joined happiness and Lindsay found the way to avoid the feelings was to not think about the subject at all.

Elizabeth – Iris finished her shower and emerged to send Lindsay to work.

"Knock 'em on their asses, Linds." Farmer said pinching hers.

"I'll be back for lunch." Lindsay said grabbing her purse.

"No you won't and that's okay, catch the bad guys, oh super hero of my heart. Just call if you're going to be way late or if something cool happens." The women agreed and Lindsay left for work. Elizabeth – Iris locked herself in before heading to the kitchen for another cup of coffee. She was on the great and serious apartment hunt, she wanted to have a place to live picked out by the end of the week which meant she was going to have to tie herself to computer and phone. She walked into the living room and set her mug on the window ledge that over looked the street and some of the city, the only view Lindsay could afford. Once her 'office' was situated she went for her lap top. Beside her precious Toshiba was Don's tie from last night. Elizabeth – Iris paused to stroke it for a moment, as she moved the pad of her thumb over the two tone green stripes she thought. His business card with all his connections was beside the tie. Should she call him? Did he really need to be with her as she found an apartment? Why did he even suggest it? And why was she reaching for her cell phone? She stopped herself from dialing his cellular number; she needed to get a grip before she saw him again. Carefully tucking his tie into her underwear drawer she picked up her computer and returned to her coffee mug.

Lindsay arrived at work at her usual early time and set about on the case she was working, Adam, the gem that he was had her results stacked neatly on her desk. The wet spot on his/ her blouse was saliva; DNA indicated that it was from a female source, either a mother or sister. The hair collected broke down as a male donor, the victim's, the same woman who's DNA was on the shirt, another female source – DNA saying either mother or sister, and the animal hair was from a Pixie – Bob cat. The fake nail she had found wasn't acrylic but it was none the less unnatural, the nail had been a manicure quality 'tip' which must've popped off when working with the wig. Lindsay picked up the pages and turned to go find Stella when she met Danny at the door of their shared office. He was holding two distinctive white paper cups from the neighborhood Starbucks.

"Mornin'." He wished her as he handed over one of the cups. She gratefully accepted it.

"You are a prince among men!" She exclaimed before taking a long pull of the drink, it was her nonfat vanilla latte, nothing weird, he had remembered from the few times they had shared designer coffee.

"You need to remember that more often." He said smirking as he settled at his desk.

"I didn't have the necessary coffee this morning, Farmer cooked tar for breakfast." Lindsay replied leaning a hip on the joint where the two desks meet. Danny nodded, not fully understanding what Lindsay meant by Elizabeth – Iris' brand of tar. "Think of Don's brew but about ten times stronger." The comparison got his attention.

"I really am a prince then."

"You have no idea." She smiled, he smiled. Her heart palpitated. _We fall in love when our imagination projects nonexistent perfection upon another person. One day, the fantasy evaporates and with it, love dies._ She told herself. _Love's a rose, pretty but has thorns._ It was a little mantra she had developed every time he did that too her. But she had to use it way to much, damn her for her weak knees and easily excited heart. And damn him for being so… him! Damn, damn, damn, and a damn for good measure.

"Seen Stella this morning?" She asked focusing on work; it took him a beat to respond, like he had been out of focus during her question.

"Oh… uh, yeah, she was talking to Mac as he headed for his office, what'd you get last night?"

"Somebody dumped a drag queen on Gay Street." She told him bitterly. The fact Mx. Inner was in high drag and dumped on 'Gay' Street said to her crime of hate, and that was what she hated.

"That's terrible." Danny said genuinely, she nodded sadly. He opened his top folder to finish his paperwork and Lindsay went to find Stella.

She was heading down the hall when Lindsay came upon her,

"I was looking for you." Stella said.

"As was I, what do you have?" Stella had processed Inner's bag as Mac had worked the background of the case.

"An address and occupation, off the bag I have hair and that's about it. And you?"

"Cat hair, unknown male hair, sister or mother's hair, hair and saliva from a sister or mother, and a fingernail tip." Lindsay replied handing over the manila folder. Stella flipped through the pages as they walked.

"Let's drop this off with Mac and go see Mr. Inner's… uh, her… the apartment." Stella said. "I know this sort of sounds bad but I never know exactly how to address drag kings and queens…"

"It changes from person to person, my rule of thumb is when they're in character you go with the persona, other wise I address them by surname until told other wise." Lindsay said shrugging, Stella nodded looking at her. Lindsay knew she was asking how a girl from Montana knew about gender - benders when a true New Yorker was in the dark. "My next door neighbors and second family Marilyn and her two dads; William and Joel loved to get us involved in the community." As Stella nodded, Lindsay remembered what day it was. "Shoot, tomorrow's their anniversary, I almost forgot, what's twenty five years again?"

"Silver, I think." Stella said she was still clearly surprised. Lindsay paid no attention and returned the conversation to work,

"What's the address?"

Gabe Inner's apartment was in a nice looking building with mediocre security in Morningside Heights. The receptionist/ doorwoman/ lobby attendant/ super's wife was more than a little distracted with her two year old grandson as she told them that Gabe Inner shared an apartment with Bret Thomas. Bret was home the woman said, or at least she hadn't seen him leave, although with the fit the little one was throwing she probably would've missed a stamped going by.

"Mr. Thomas?" Stella called as she knocked on the apartment door. There was sound from inside of the apartment and the door opened to the chain. From the gap between the door and the wall Lindsay could see a man of average height looking at them. Stella identified herself flashing the NYPD shield.

"I'm Detective Bonasera, this is Detective Monroe; we'd like to talk to you about Gabe Inner." The man shut the door and freed the chain before opening it wide.

"Come in." The man said hoarsely. "I'm so glad you're here, I only filed my missing person report this morning, I was afraid no one would look for him properly for days…." Bret Thomas wiped his eyes with the back of his hand.

"Missing person's?" Stella asked quietly, she and Lindsay hadn't gotten that in the paper work so it was very fresh. Lindsay swallowed.

"Mr. Thomas… we regret to inform you that we're not here about the missing persons report… per say… we're homicide detectives." Her voice hitched on homicide, she hated this part of the job, but it was for people like Bret she worked for, making sure the one who killed their loved one was brought to justice. Mr. Thomas sat down heavily in a near by chair like his legs had been ripped out from under him, his sudden presents in the seat sent a cat across the room. Lindsay noted that it matched the hair found.

"He's dead, Gabe's dead?" he asked brokenly. "How… why?"

"He was stabbed, we found him on Gay Street… we have some questions if you're up to it." Stella said kneeling beside the arm of the chair supportively.

"Ask anything, I want to help." He was more shocked than sobbing.

"Mr. Inner was found on Gay Street in drag, did he perform…" Lindsay asked quietly.

"Gabe was in the off Broadway revival of La Cage, he was a Cagelle, but before that he did some performing too… it was how we met."

"Did he have business on and around Gay Street?" Stella asked.

"No, not that I was aware of, he was going to rehearsal and to see his family, they're on the Lower East Side. When he didn't come home by the time I went to bed I thought rehearsal was late but when he wasn't here this morning…" Mr. Thomas couldn't get the words out.

"We have to ask but did Mr. Inner have any money problems, gambling or drugs?" Lindsay asked.

"He was an actor and a waiter the only money problems he had were not making enough at work, I have the money job…. He didn't do drugs and didn't gamble and we had a very good relationship, he would tell me anything."

"Did he have any enemies?" Stella asked.

"There were people who disapproved of his lifestyle, but they hate me as much as him, I can't think of anyone directing anything but love at him, he was so wonderful…" Lindsay and Stella looked at each other, their questions could be deemed done, the man needed time.

"We just have one more thing, what's Mr. Inner's family address, the ones he was visiting, and which theatre was he working at?" Stella asked, the man slowly got up and walked into the open kitchen after rustling around in a draw with a shaking hand he wrote out two addresses. Stella took it and Lindsay handed him her business car,

"This is my number if you need to talk to me don't hesitate to do so."

"Thank you detective." Mr. Thomas said Stella and Lindsay made to see themselves out before Lindsay paused.

"One last thing, what did Mr. Inner prefer to go by?"

"Gabriella." Was the soft reply.

Elizabeth – Iris was brain dead, code blue, flat line, keep knocking but ain't nobody home. She had gone from a very serious search with a budget, standards, and notes to make a court recorder envious. Now many hours later she was asleep with her eyes open, her notes were covered with doodles and smudges and shit she couldn't identify, here eyes were bleary from the time in front of her screen. Maybe there was a reason for her spending the last eight years in one place. It wasn't so much that she didn't have a realtor, she did, she had a friend who had married a woman whose niece was married to a prestigious one that lived in the area, thank God for friends in places. Not the mind boggling thing was the New York real-estate market itself. Everything was sketchy unless you spent like 3,000, heat and a/c were options and it seemed easier to get an extra room than a washer and dryer in the room. She got up and rubbed her eyes before heading with her mug to the kitchen. She had switched from coffee to tea afternoon and was now on her third pot of whatever Lindsay had in the cupboard. The little excursion away from her computer was enough to give her a fresh eye and she reached for her bright legal pad. The first three pages consisted of notes about what she wanted, costs of things, area, questions, and apartment sale numbers. Starting around the fourth page there was no heading columns, or logic, just scribbled numbers; everything was a mess or excessively elaborate. Page five had been completely skipped. Page six had a disproportionate drawing of what she assumed was a wedding dress, it was to elaborate for anything else, it was accompanied by a flamingo and the chorus of 'Jud Fry is Daid.' Seven was half gone, ripped diagonally from right to left, trough the missing section she could read page eight, on it was signatures. There was her own, neat, small, and even, there was Lindsay's name, and ornate bubble letters spelling 'NYC'. Below that were the strange things her non active mind had done. Lindsay Monroe – Messer one signature read. Mrs. Lindsay Messer. Lindsay Elizabeth Anne Monroe Messer loves Danny. There was a heart and their names. Amongst the Lindsay and Danny doodles that would get her killed were others. Elizabeth – Iris Flack. Mrs. Donald Flack. She looked at the page in horror. And it got worse, she had resorted to the little name game that high school girls did, the letters in both names that spelled out True Love were the percent it was true. The letters in French Kiss told you how good it would be. _Get a grip dumbass_. She yelled at herself before ripping that page off the pad and crumpled it up before shooting a basket and scoring three points. What the hell was wrong with her she wondered. She was over thirty, he wasn't the first guy to have flirted with her, so why was she acting like she was thirteen and the most popular guy and school had said something to her? The answer eluded her like Harrison Ford in 'The Fugitive'. She wasn't going to be able to concentrate with the tall detective in her head, she ripped out the other useless pages before settling on the living room rug, it really brought the room together. Stretching out she tried to use relaxing meditation to free her mind. When doing relaxing meditation one finds a comfortable position, focuses on their breath and lets their subconscious wonder. Most minds go to the beach or in front of a fire, Elizabeth – Iris was in the woods, on a bench. Her mind's eye was in third person, like a movie, she watched as her inner self sat.

_She sat with a leather bound book in gloved hands her head down; it was covered by a straw bonnet with a garnet ribbon, her hair was up in the hat. The ribbon matched the sweater she wore, it was long sleeved and short bodied only covering her from neck to breast, it was in Napoleonic style, her dress was off white with red ribbon accents. The sound of hoof fall sent her head up, entering her secluded wooded reading nook was a horse of indeterminate breed but lovely brown color. The rider atop it was tall with dark hair, he didn't notice her immediately but soon their eyes meet and he stopped the animal. lighting from the beast he landed some where her and it, his eyes never once leaving her own. He wore beige trousers, a olive vest, and forest green jacket, his tall brown riding boots covered his large feet that carried him to her, she stood her book still open in her hands and the only thing separating them. A wind kicked up sending fire colored dead leaves blowing around them as his large hands fitted over hers and shut her book…_

That's quite enough! Elizabeth – Iris sat bolt upright causing a wave of dizziness to send her to the floor again but it was ridicules. She was no Jane Austen heroine and Flack wasn't her perfectly matched prince. They had spent a total of four hours together, true love that does not make. Besides there was no Austen work where the couple met in a bar, there was always something more dramatic and there was always something more going on than 'Damn he's hot'. But that was about the extent of it; Donald Flack flipped her switches and made her laugh. They got along, shared status, background demographic, there was no pride, they weren't good friends prior to last night, he knew her name… the only Austin heroine she was close to was Catherine Morland2, but only because she thought she was in a Jane Austin novel. Getting up more slowly this time she flipped her anchor chain thick braid over her shoulder and pulled at her sweatpants. _Elizabeth Bennet would not be caught dead in faded, torn black and gold 'Dowd Knights' sweats._ Sitting back down at her computer she turned to the first page of notes, called up the sight she had been using and turned off the Franz Liszt which she had been listening to for the past hour, including her meditation, perhaps that was what brought regency images to her mind. She needed to get real so she switched her media player to 'Rules of Enragement', Lewis Black's third comedy CD.

"_It's going to suck today, but at least I'm not getting small pox!_" Nothing was more reality based than Lewis Black. Thousands of F – bombs could really get her mind off romanticized fantasies of romance. "_Fuck its vice president Cheney, somebody get him a margarita."_

Gabriella's mother was a scary woman; Lindsay was utterly terrified of the little old New Yorker. She had so much smoke in her lungs it was pouring out of her mouth even when she inhaled more through her long Virginia Slims. Her eye make up was tattooed on, her hair was teased in a way that solidified the negative 'Jersey Girl' image as well as added another two inches to her short frame, but what scared Lindsay the most was the claws that she called fingernails, they were a little to Freddy Krueger like for comfort. The home had been small and dark with seventies fake mahogany and 'Bronx Marble' the term she learned from Danny when he affectionately described linoleum. Mrs. Inner Dutch Fucked3 cigarette after cigarette and had no visible emotion to the loss of her only son, his manor of death, or how the body was found. The sister on the other hand, a girl of about eighteen or so left the room as soon as Stella said they were homicide detectives. Lindsay tried to speak to the girl, Carley, but only was able to hand her a business card. Lindsay left the home and decided that she hated people some times.

Lindsay flopped into her chair, she had needed her time, Stella said she should return to the lab and take a good sized break before working; she had understood that Lindsay had taken this personal, but she knew better than to have Mac talk to her. She believed in finding answers internally and Lindsay appreciated that. With her body moving ungracefully into the swivel chair Danny looked up.

"Humanity sucks." She told him before burying her head in her arms. She was wound tighter than an over tuned guitar string and Danny knew she was going to snap with one more turn of any screw. Getting up quietly he moved behind her chair and slowly put his hands on her shoulders, electricity zapped them both like bugs but nether left their positions. He moved aside her hair and began to massage her shoulders and neck; she had sailor's knots in both.

"Damn you're tight, Montana." Danny commented as he picked one of the many knots and began to fix it, his words brought up very bad images of other tight things on a female body. Lindsay's mind met his in the gutter; all of a sudden she heard the Garth Brooke's song, 'Honey can you squeeze me in?' There was silence for the rest of her left shoulder blade. Danny moved to her neck and she groaned he almost joined her; this was a bad situation, God needed to throw him a bone… And he did, salvation in Farmer form met him. She touched his shoulder and put a finger to her lips, there was a twinkle in her eye and she smiled. Standing next to him so they touched she placed her fingers where his were and they made a seamless transition. Elizabeth – Iris took over the massage and Danny took off running. What had he been thinking? Touching her like that, touching her at all with all the emotions that were flooding him, it was like trying to eat one potato chip, he couldn't do that. He didn't stop moving until he was in his truck and heading back to his apartment, screw over time, it was paperwork that he could do tomorrow, spending another second with his hand on her would be worse for professionalism than leaving work a few minutes early.

Back in the office Elizabeth – Iris continued to rub her friend's shoulders, Lindsay's apartment was haunted by the ghost of Flack and she needed to run. She had thrown on jeans and Doc Martins and a leather jacket over her tank top and headed for the CSI building, opting for the subway, she knew she'd get going faster if she didn't monkey with a taxi. Stella had met her in the foyer like the first time they had seen each other, she told her a brief outline of the case and how it was affecting Lindsay. Elizabeth – Iris knew how close William and Joel were to her and how hate affected her. When she saw Danny massaging her girl friend's shoulders she smiled, but he didn't know what to do so she stepped in. From the look in his eyes she had made the right choice. There was a heat burning blue behind his glasses, love and lust were fighting a three way battle, against each other and against control, the only thing clear was control was losing badly.

* * *

_I'm the president of my schools Gay/ Straight Alliance (I'm the straight part) and would like to wish everyone a happy LGBT month and deticate the characters William and Joel to Eric and Pete and their daughter, my best friend Alyse who helped me create these characters._

1 Please, German

2 Catherine Morland, Northanger Abby, she thought her life was a gothic novel, Elizabeth – Iris thinks her life is a Jane Austin novel

3 To Dutch Fuck, to light one cigarette off the dying but on another, a chain smoker thing


	7. Close to Home

In Hoxie We Trust

* * *

Disclaimer: I own my sense of reality; actual reality is out of my hands.

An: Sorry for the delay in updating, I went from being busy with some sort of practice every day to the frightful climax of activities with absolutely nothing, my system is still in shock.

* * *

Chapter Six: Close to Home

Danny was some kind of wonderful, coffee this morning, a neck rub; damn it was hard to be anti – romantic when he was a knight in shining armor.

"Danny…" She said, he made no reply.

"Danny?" She questioned again, what was he doing?

"How do you call your lover boy, Lindsay?" Elizabeth – Iris' voice asked from behind her causing her to jump and spin. Elizabeth – Iris grinned at her. "What's up?" she asked.

"Retail Therapy, now." Lindsay groaned and rubbed her face. She had to feel pretty low to make that request. Typically her idea of therapy was a bottle of wine and Law & Order or slinging back White Russians and quoting Coen brother's films.

"You're talking to a licensed retail therapist, Hun, let's go." Elizabeth – Iris said, she knew that Lindsay could go home, in fact when she saw Stella she had told her to take Lindsay out for some good food to get her to relax. The more she saw of Stella the more she liked the woman; perhaps she should check the Hoxie policy on newbies.

"I talked to Stella before I came up here, says there's an awesome little wine and cheese shop that I'm supposed to take you to." Elizabeth – Iris said setting on the edge of her desk.

"You just come here to screw up my systems or you want something?" Lindsay asked.

"I'm here because you need to relax, and you listen to me… that and I was board outta my mind at your place, I'm brain dead." Elizabeth – Iris replied. "So I swung by you to see if you wanted to eat and was pleased to see you and you're lover boy – get my mind off apartments, if I have to consider where I live one more time I'm gunna snap."

"Keep up your nonsense and you'll have to find a place to stay…" Lindsay groaned.

"You're just up set because I'm not lover boy…" Elizabeth – Iris cheekily countered.

"Lover boy? Who Danny?" It was Flack's voice from the door way.

"Why automatically Danny? Why not Zack, Adam, Sid, Marty, Mac, or any of the other four million some men in this city alone?" Lindsay snapped before rubbing her face. "Sorry, long day. And my favorite idiot is tap dancing on my last nerve." Elizabeth – Iris smiled at her before speaking,

"Go get your stuff and we'll go shopping, you just signed your body and wardrobe over to me so move it, I wanna get started." Lindsay bit her thumb at her friend but got up and went to her locker, on her way she gave Flack a mischievous smile and a wink. Elizabeth – Iris watched through the glass walls as Lindsay headed for the locker room, Flack watched Elizabeth – Iris she was about a foot away from him and he felt the strange feeling that it was to far away for his taste.

"The offer still stands you know." He said to her bringing the attention of those violet eyes to him. She had a flash of him in breeches and cravats and felt a little pink rise on the back of her neck.

"I just began my search today Detective, I haven't even met with my realtor yet, it's a slow painful process." Flack smiled.

"Just reminding you that I'm available if you need me."

"I'll keep you posted." She said, he was about to say more when his phone rang and he parted awkwardly. She hated good – byes in this position, she was following him with a listless stare as he moved through the lab. A thumb to the corner of her mouth snapped her out of her zone. Lindsay smiled at her with a quirked brow.

"You were drooling."

"Shut up." Elizabeth – Iris snapped before leading the way out of the lab. They passed Hawkes and Flack in the hall, both women waved their good nights.

"Flack… yo… Flack…" Hawkes said waving a hand in front of the distracted detective's face.

"Huh, what?" Don asked snapping out of his daze. He had been focusing on Elizabeth – Iris' hips, they were like watching a swinging pendulum – hypnotizing.

"Never mind." Sheldon said with a smile, Don's expression as he watched Farmer was the same as the one Hawkes wore when he saw Talitha, and to a certain extent it was the same expression Mac gave Stella. It was a look of love. As Hawkes left Flack he hummed, _Ms. MacDonald had a farm, E – I – E – I – O._

In the elevator Elizabeth – Iris still had a dreamy smile on her face.

"It must be a prerec that you NYPD's are hot. I might have to get in trouble so I can watch them work the cuffs."

"Remember that woman in Oregon1?" Lindsay replied.

"Right… I'll just have to visit you more often."

"You will soon join me in the employed side of the world and we both have important work to do." Lindsay said, she wasn't sure what the Elizabeth – Iris affect would be at the lab but it was large enough to be a concern.

"Oh please, you we're getting a massage at your desk, the only thing that was on you was Danny's hands – no cape super woman."

"Hey, at least I could keep my mouth closed, oh horn dog." Lindsay replied on the defensive.

An hour later Lindsay had gotten the anniversary present she was looking for and had received a full lecture on what her 'colors' were from Elizabeth – Iris who had a large shopping list ready for her.

"I don't think you spent any time looking for an apartment if you have this much stuff for me." Lindsay joked as she and Elizabeth – Iris drank their wine and ate too much bread at the restaurant Stella had suggested. They had gone from Tiffany's to Saks before deciding to eat. Elizabeth – Iris smiled,

"You kick back with a white Russian and a Coen brother's film to unwind, I relax when I deal with clothing and you're my favorite anatomically correct Barbie doll." Elizabeth – Iris was proud of what they had gotten thus far, Lindsay was blessed with a body that made it easy to fit with no trying on. At Saks they had found her some sleeker, less trite sweaters, not a bow in sight, as well as a few oxfords and suit vests. Farmer was excited to see more of her creations come alive. Lindsay was happy that she found something pretty and silver without spending a feared amount of money. Her attitude towards the clothing was more ambivalent, she knew that Elizabeth – Iris wouldn't make her look bad but clothing had never been a big thing in her life. Perhaps her lack of updated 'age appropriate' clothing as Elizabeth – Iris drilled into her was the reason Danny never looked at her. He would want a Donna Karen girl not an Eddie Bauer woman. By the harassment he had given her over her pocket knife he made it clear his women only carried tampons, condoms, and lipstick in their bags. Why on earth was she considering her wardrobe as a tool to drive Danny Messer to or from her, first off he was a coworker and second of all it was brains before boobs, dignity before designers, humor before hotness. _Yeah honey, keep telling yourself that._ A little voice in her head said.

Elizabeth – Iris was most pleased with herself as she went over all that Lindsay had bought, it made her feel warm and fuzzy knowing that she had had a hand in helping Lindsay look her best. Farmer's personal philosophy was that when you look your best you feel your best. Also when you look your best people look at you, people like Danny Messer. Try as she might Lindsay could not convince Elizabeth – Iris that she didn't have a thing for her New York street co – worker. Speaking of New York street the haunting presents of Don Flack had not been left in Lindsay's apartment, he was following her, a passenger in her mind. She tried to think about Danny and Lindsay and their relationship but all she could think about was Flack. His proposition played in her head, she already knew his cell phone number, and at the bottom of her purse she had his silk tie. Sure it was just to thank him and return it… right. Yet she had remembered all through the conversation they had and didn't return it. And the fact she was dragging it around town with her made he worry that it was a symptom of something else. Something she didn't want to delve into. She closed her eyes and made to clear her head, a flash of Regency Flack projected itself onto her closed eyelashes. She had to change the mental subject. Thankfully Lindsay's cell phone rang, it was a plain ring and Lindsay looked at her phone curiously. Everyone on her call list had a signature ring tone so that she could tell who was calling her; the Hoxies's had their ring, her family members had their songs, at work her friends had their music, there was no plain ring for her phone. The ID read 'Unknown Caller' and she slowly opened the portable.

"Monroe." Lindsay said, standing and heading out of the restaurant, she hated people who were on the cell phones at the table. Elizabeth – Iris nodded her off with an understanding smile.

"Detective Monroe, this is Carley Inner." A young woman's voice said. Lindsay paused, poor girl.

"What can I do for you, Miss Inner?" Lindsay asked.

"I have some information about my brother's death." She said, her voice was sad, like it pained her to know what she knew. "Where can I talk to you?"

"I think the best place would be at the station." Lindsay told her, "Do you need me to come and get you?" She'd never had to personally deal with a witness in this fashion.

"That wouldn't be good, I can just take the train downtown, your address is on your business card."

"Is that wise?" Lindsay asked it was fall and getting dark early and she knew that a young woman alone in the city in the evening was bad; so many deaths were the result of that equation.

"I'll see you at the station." The sister said and hung up. Lindsay stared at her phone for a moment before returning to her dinner.

"I have to go into the station, a break in the case." Lindsay told her friend apologetically.

"Then get going." Elizabeth – Iris said she knew that when you're with public servants you can't be selfish. "Take the car and your stuff I'll take the tab and a cab."

"I feel bad sticking you high and dry with the bill and no way back home." Lindsay said collecting the bags.

"I'm living off of you so it's fair, now get going." Farmer said waving her hand towards the door before signaling for the bill.

Lindsay walked through the CSI halls wondering why and where Gabe Inner's sister was. The answer to where was easily found, Vicki the receptionist told her that a witness was in her office and she was correct. Carley Inner was about four inches shorter than her brother and a beauty that her brother strove to match, she had long auburn hair and large hazel eyes that were sorrowful as the Raven Nevermore.

"Detective Monroe." The youth said extending her hand, Lindsay shook it,

"What can I do for you Miss Inner?"

"Carley." Carley said looking at Lindsay's computer screen, the saver rolled a picture of William and Joel dancing like the happy go – lucky idiots they were. Carley looked at the picture for as long as it was on the screen.

"Those men…" she began the question softly.

"are celebrating their twenty fifth anniversary tomorrow." Lindsay replied equal in volume. The girl was reaching out for someone who she felt safe with, someone within the community; there was a block in her relationship with everything her brother was.

"I knew you would understand, even though my brother needed no understanding or anything. The couple, family?"

"Close family friends, like fathers to me." Lindsay replied, there was silence. "I'm not a psychologist, I only deal with evidence, but I can give you a very good counselor."

"I knew Gabe was Gabriella, He could never keep a secret like that from me we were very close, however he never told our mother. Bret was 'the roommate' for the years that they lived together. Then Gabe turned thirty two, he was tired, tired of lying, tired of the closet, he was just tired." Carley Inner said moving to her messenger bag. She was choked up as she pulled out a bundle of cloth. Carefully she handed the parcel over, Lindsay slowly unwrapped the tea towel, inside was a Ziploc bag and a Ginsu knife. Lindsay raised questioning eyes to the girl, her lip quivered as she began her story.

"Gabriella changed in my room and went down to greet mother as the person s/he truly was, Mother was in the kitchen, fixing dinner, I was there for support when he introduced herself hell broke loose…" Carley Inner whipped her tears and swallowed painfully. "I don't remember much but a blur until I saw Gabe on the floor, that I remember in distinct imagery that I'll never forget…" Lindsay froze, this eighteen year old was telling her that she witnessed her mother murder her son because he was gay. She suddenly felt very ill.

"Mother said she would have no fairies in her family." Lindsay felt her stomach turn in disgust and in anger; she was going to be sick.

"Excuse me." She told the sobbing girl as she bolted out the office door. Lindsay hurried towards the bathroom and ran directly into an exiting Flack; he had stayed late to get even more paper work done.

"Lindsay!" He exclaimed steadying her as she recovered from their impact. She knew that she looked a fright, her eyes had to be red and swollen from tears that were soaking her cheeks, and she still felt nocuous.

"There's a girl you need to get a statement from in my office and either Mac or Stella needs to be there for evidence." She said before finishing her sprint into the bathroom gagging all the way. Flack stood a stunned second outside the women's bathroom before he heard the tell tale sound of dry heaves, without a thought he hurried to join her in the women's restroom. She was bent over the toilet gagging and spitting. He got behind her and held her hair and rubbed her back as he processed what he knew, which was nothing. There was only one thing that was definite, and that was he needed to call Elizabeth – Iris and get Lindsay safely home, whatever statement and evidence there was had shaken this Montanan mountain of resilience and grace to her very core. Lindsay stood up and moved past him to the sink without meeting his eye, she wetted a paper towel and whipped her face with cold water as she did this Don spoke,

"Give me your cell phone Lindsay." He needed Elizabeth – Iris' phone number.

"What?" Lindsay asked meeting his eyes in the mirror.

"I'm calling Farmer and she's taking you home." He told her reaching a hand out for her cell.

"I've got stuff to process on this case." She objected.

"Uh – un. You've good as handed the regains over to me, Mac, and Stella, you're reaction to this case says to me that you need to go home, you're too distressed to drive so I'm gunna have Elizabeth – Iris take over, now give me your phone, put the witness in interview two then get your shit together." Lindsay didn't argue for once and slapped her phone into his waiting hand before heading out of the room. Flack flipped open her phone and called up her contacts, he scrolled through them until he found 'Farmer'. He called it, there was a ringback of 'Tubthumping' before Elizabeth – Iris picked up.

"What up sexy?" she asked, clearly she thought Lindsay was calling.

"Elizabeth – Iris, its Flack." Flack said, hating to have to use his professional tone with the woman.

"OhmyGod, what happened?!" She exclaimed over the wires, "Is she all right Don, why are you calling?!"

"Take a deep breath Farmer. She's physically fine, but something about this break in the case made her sick, I she shouldn't be in the lab in this condition and I don't want her to even think about driving." Don said, there was a sigh of relief from the other end.

"Thank you for calling me, I'll be right there." There was no good bye and Don stared at the face after she hung up. _555 - 2354._ He wanted to remember that. Closing the phone he looked up from his hand and saw a female graveyard shift lab tech staring at him,

"Long story." He told her as he walked by.

Elizabeth – Iris sat in the backseat of the taxi (that the valet hailed for her, nice boy that Marcello) thinking about Flack's phone call. She was so agitated about Lindsay's condition that she completely ignored the feelings that were excited while talking however brief and however gravely to Don on the phone. Lindsay got more and more like her father every day and Everett Monroe was known for his calm exterior. But still waters run deep and to remain so serene he internalized everything until it bubbled over and exploded in a way that made Pompeii look like a fourth grade science experiment. Like a rolodex, every one of Lindsay's stressors ran through Elizabeth – Iris' mind. There was her feelings for Danny, new city and job, the ten year anniversary of her father's death, the fresh wounds of her friends – Stella and Don, the constant burden of her sister's life and near death, Irene's graduation and new stage, and now this case that struck closer to home than Sara Butler, who was another stressor, too much like Lindsay's cousin for comfort. This combination of factors made one thing clear to Elizabeth – Iris Lindsay needed to explode or implode and die.

Lindsay said nothing as Elizabeth – Iris drover her home, there was no conversation as they headed to the apartment; the only words exchanged were when Elizabeth – Iris locked them in.

"Take a bath and relax, then we need to talk."

"Messer." Danny's New York accent greeted Elizabeth – Iris as she used Lindsay's cell phone.

"It's Farmer, I've got a question."

"Shoot." Danny said taking the edge out of his voice, he was worried that when Elizabeth – Iris had called him something terrible had happened. The thought of something happening to his Montana made his breath catch. _She ain't your Montana man._ That thought also affected his breathing.

"How many vacation days does Lindsay have?" Elizabeth – Iris asked. Had something happened to Lindsay?

"Why?! What for?!"

"Whoa! Easy there cowboy, Lindsay's currently just fine, same a little less relaxed since you stopped rubbing her down, but just fine, I'm looking to change that." Danny looked at his phone; Farmer could sense that he was doing so because she told him,

"My anger is like a gas stove, light the match and Boom! Lindsay is like an electric oven takes her a while to heat up and then she burns forever. She's held emotion in for too long and I need her to get mad or she'll go nuts. She'll need tomorrow off to recuperate." Elizabeth – Iris told him, it took a second for the fact that serenity Lindsay had deep dark waters.

"I can work it out with Mac for you, is there anything else I can do?" she had been a pillar of strength for him in all of his needy times and he had totally ignored her emotions, taken advantage of what he assumed was a woman without. He could be a bastard. Elizabeth – Iris wanted to tell him that he could come over and do Lindsay, giving her the fuck of the century certainly wouldn't hurt. Instead she went with a slightly less direct choice for once.

"I've been with Lindsay for many years, it's the only reason I know her the way I do, she's not easy to truly read, I witnessed the stuff I know, she never willingly gave me any information. I'd like you to stick around as long as I have or longer and get to know her more." Elizabeth – Iris said Danny felt a sudden lump in his throat block his breath.

"I'll do my best." He told her honestly, he would try but with his karma he'd only end up hurting her, love only brought pain in his world.

"You do that, g'night Danny." Elizabeth – Iris told him.

"'Night." He said ringing off.

Farmer shut the phone and set it on the coffee table before collapsing onto the sofa. Silently she offered up a prayer to Saint whoever would listen, she was going to need whatever help she could get. From inside the bathroom she heard the tub drain and she rubbed her face, _Fasten your seatbelts. It's going to be a bumpy night._

* * *

_Thank you to all who have read and reviewed and made many of my days. I hople this has made you as happy as you make me.  
Much love,  
streake_

1 She was in the news a while back, called 911 and asked for the hottie patrol or something equally stupid


	8. Mommy

In Hoxie We Trust

* * *

Disclaimer: I own my sense of reality; actual reality is out of my hands.

* * *

Chapter Seven: Mommy

Sun beating in woke a comatose Lindsay the next mid – afternoon. She must've passed out on the sofa after a battle that put all other wars to shame. With bleary eyes she looked at the clock. 12:42 pm.

"Jesus H. Christ in Heaven!" She exclaimed springing up, she was beyond late for work; her name was mud in at least seven different languages. Moving towards her bedroom she was stopped by a firm grip on her ankle.

"Shut the hell up and go back to sleep, you're taking a little vacation." Elizabeth – Iris grunted from the floor. Lindsay looked down at her friend and slinked back to the couch. Elizabeth – Iris sat up and looked at her, Lindsay's rug was better than the shower when it came to ideas and Farmer's subconscious had hatched a plan.

"Go take a bath." Farmer told her friend, she needed the time to put the first stage into affect.

"I bathed first yesterday." Lindsay objected.

"I know you, you're going to want to call people and stuff and I need to call my realtor, so life is easier this way." Elizabeth – Iris said standing up and stretching, Lindsay sighed and headed for her bathroom. The plan was simple like most genius was, Elizabeth – Iris knew that Lindsay would purge herself further by cooking… a lot, so all that needed to be done was arrange fate so that instead of the Hoxie girls sharing a meal Danny was eating Lindsay's cooking, with a few well placed comments Lindsay would actually talk to Danny, who deserved to know, and they'd get to spend some time together, on the reverse, she would need to be gone and apartment shopping was plausible excuse, and maybe, just maybe if she took Flack up on his offer it would stop haunting her.

She called her realtor first and arranged to see three apartments around six thirty. She then headed for her room and pulled out Don's tie, she still had it and still loved to run her fingers over it, lost in though for a while, it took Lindsay shutting the faucet off in the bathroom to snap her out of her thoughts. She dialed Don's cell phone.

"Flack." His voice answered her call on the third ring.

"Hey Don, its Farmer." Elizabeth – Iris said smiling in spite of herself.

"What can I do for you Farmer?" Don asked.

"What are you doing tonight around six thirty?"

"I can easily get off, how long do you need me?" he replied in the form of a question.

"My realtor and I have three apartments we want to look at around six thirty, I wanted to know if the offer still held."

"It could hold a Buick, what time should I meet up with you?" She loved how he made her laugh… wait she didn't love! This excursion was to flush him from her system! She shook her head, thankful he couldn't see her.

"Dunno, around six, you know the traffic here better than I."

"I'll see you around a quarter till then." He told her, there was noise in the background. "How's Lindsay?"

"On track for reaction to an argument, she'll start a grocery list soon and start cooking; she makes food for sixty and can't eat a bite, and by the time she gets hungry the leftovers can be pretty gamey. Pity I can't help her eat." Elizabeth – Iris told him phrasing a novel's worth of between the line's text for him to figure out.

"Should I keep somebody hungry?" Don replied, he read right.

"They need to have a wee bit of a conversation, wouldn't you agree?" She could hear his smile and it turned her inside out. "I better let you go," _before I melt into the floor or die because my insides have been turned all which way. _"You've got a job and I've already stolen one CSI away, can't make it two." He laughed and it only made the situation worse taking it from code yellow to orange.

"See you at a quarter till then." He said.

"Uh – huh, bye." She replied and rang off. Elizabeth – Iris looked at the device of pain in her hand, it offered connection to someone she needed to stay away from until she figured out what she was doing. _Taunting bastard._ She thought at her cell.

Lindsay felt a little better after her bath; she had stayed in it until the bathwater had turned to ice. Elizabeth – Iris had known exactly what bombs to drop, when, and where, she could've been a technical adviser in Iraq; she was deadly. But she had been right, which was the real kicker. Her first flaw was closing herself off emotionally; she'd admit that she would try her best to see things as a scientist, keeping emotions for emotion time and reality for reality. She dried off. But all the separation and crying in the dark made for more inner demons than she should have. Letting go the devils in her soul was like watching a bunch of crows taking flight. As she wrung out her hair she told herself that she had to talk to Mac about what went on, just the facts, that the case struck too close to home (yet again) and Elizabeth – Iris want a mental health day taken, and she was very forceful. Mac would comprehend the simple facts, he was what she aspired to be, he was cool, calm, and collected no matter what, if he had demons, he controlled them well. Elizabeth – Iris wanted her to talk to Danny, she was convinced that Danny would care and understand and help, Lindsay shook her head. Danny would give an ear, he was assumedly her friend, but his demons were much bigger and scarier than hers and he didn't need her little monsters too. Farmer was convinced that he was in love with her and would saddle up to slay the dragons in her head like a knight in shining armor. Farmer loved a good fiction story. Lindsay slipped on her 'oh so exciting' matching nude bra and panties set and walked to her room, knocking on Elizabeth – Iris' closed door,

"Bathroom's free." She said before closing her bedroom door and sighing. She needed to cook something, and call her mother, and the Albright – Tensions, and maybe Gwen. She reached into her closet and pulled out her favorite shirt, a long sleeved brown and white striped tee that was really comfortable and still presentable. Jeans washed soft finished her look. She pulled on a pair of gold toe socks and went out to the kitchen. Elizabeth – Iris was showering as she preformed all the parts of 'Fiddler on the Roof's Matchmaker. It was a rousing rendition.

Lindsay looked at her really tacky Montana shaped clock that hung in her small kitchen, it had been a going away present from the Bozeman PD, it was set with the Department clock back home and she used it to tell her what time it was in the treasure state. It was eleven o'clock back home, she knew that her mother would be at work, hopefully she would be free; death before noon was never good. She picked up her cell phone and dialed.

"Gallatin county morgue, you stab 'em, I slab 'em, Doctor Monroe speaking." Jessica Monroe's bright voice answered the phone with the greeting she had used for the past thirty some years.

"Hey Mom." Lindsay said smiling into the phone as she began to fix coffee – good coffee.

"Hi honey, what's up?" Jessica was the county coroner and worked like Marty and Sid, her connection to the CSIs in Montana was why Lindsay decided to take her science avocation to a criminology degree and a CSI career. Lindsay sighed as she perfectly pictured her mother's bat cave like office; there was a pang of homesickness. It was more acute since last night's argument.

"I need TLC." Lindsay said weakly, "I got the pitifuls." Jessica laughed at her daughter.

"Tell Mommy all about it, baby."

"Well, Farmer got a job here and is house hunting at the moment…" Lindsay began; she crawled up onto the counter and looked out the window onto the busy city scene as she told her mother about the case and the fight, and about Danny, and Elizabeth – Iris' reaction to Don. Jessica listened motherly to everything, understanding why her second baby felt the way she did. The mother and daughter stayed on the phone for about an hour; eventually Lindsay knew that she had to let her mother get back to work,

"I should let you go, oh grim reaper of my heart. Will you be at Willie and Joel's party?"

"Of course, wouldn't miss it for the world, speaking of which, I'm supposed to tell you they're hooking up their webcam and expect an appearance."

"I'm here all day so that shouldn't be a problem. Tell everyone there I said 'howyoudoin'" Lindsay told her mother doing her best Danny impression. "Love you lots."

"Love you too, see you tonight." Jessica replied and hung up the phone. Lindsay looked at the disconnected phone in her hand for a moment; across the country her mother was doing the same thing. Jessica Soper – Monroe sat the handset back in the cradle and rubbed her eyes, every day Lindsay got more and more like her father. Everett needed to be detonated manually; he rarely played any cards away from his chest. It was why their marriage worked, she was flaky, flamboyant, and would get mad if she was mad. E was subtle and diplomatic, wry in humor – if he joked you had to do a double take to see if it was true, his anger built up then exploded then went calm again. But Lindsay was also like her Jessica pointed out to herself. And it wasn't just physical, Lindsay's subconscious worked like hers. They'd pull the same expression when thinking and they way they talked was alike. When Jessica had met Everett in college she would always talk about him to her mother, the littlest things he did were her favorite topic of conversation. Lindsay was the same way; she was Danny, Danny, Danny for the majority of all their conversations. From what her daughter had told her Jessica was confident that this Danny Messer from New York was a good boy, both in morels and for Lindsay. Jessica had also done some checking of her own, she had worked with the police for a very long time and she had many friends with badges, they all loved Lindsay and helped her with a public record search. So in many ways Jessica knew more than her daughter, but not on things that truly mattered. Jessica saw her phone ring again flashing Billy Bob Blackburn's cell number, William Robert was the chief of police, she pushed a lock of soft snowy hair away from her ear and picked up the phone, her last thought about her daughter was,

_Love is all that matters. And Linds, baby, you're in love._

Lindsay looked at her phone after she hung up with her mother, she felt a little better. She could always feel better when her mother listened; she guessed all mothers had magic ears, just like they had magic kisses. But despite the healing spell of her mother listening Lindsay still felt off, it hit her gut like a brick and stayed as a heavy block. The phone stared back at her as she tried to process the punch to the gut she was feeling. Of its own accord her thumb punched in a phone number, a number that she would never forget. One ring, two rings, three rings…

_Hi, you've reached 555 – 6234; also know as Madison and Irene's place. We're unavailable right now but if you leave your name, number, and message we'll call you back when we are. Thanks! _Tone

"Hi Maddi, it's me." Lindsay said feeling like crying for some reason. "I was just thinking and stuff and I miss you so I called. Call me back soon, I'm off work all of today and tonight, I'm back to work tomorrow morning at seven or eight. Love you." Lindsay hung up the phone and hung her head. Her relationship with her sister was still rocky, it had never been good but this patch was particularly awkward and ruff. Lindsay put the handset back in the cradle with a heavy heart and glossy eyes. She ran a thumb over her opposite wrist and bitterly laughed. On more than one occasion Madison had accused her of playing by the rules of a Victorian generation. Wiping at her non leaking eyes she reached for an ancient leather bound volume that held a spot on her window sill, she needed to cook. Cook something, anything. The cook book had been a gift from Granny Mabel Monroe when she moved off the ranch. Granny loved to cook and loved to teach her grandbabies how to cook, the old book was the biggest family relic out of everything except perhaps the old girl herself. Lindsay tucked her precious connection to her home, family, and past into her purse and found some shoes.

"Farmer, I'm going to the store, I'll be back." Lindsay called before heading out the door.


	9. Comfort Food

In Hoxie We Trust

* * *

Disclaimer: I own my sense of reality; actual reality is out of my hands.

* * *

Chapter Eight: Comfort Food

"Marcello, you are a God!" Lindsay exclaimed about an hour later as the last sack of groceries was set some where in her very small kitchen. Marcello Legato, valet and god smiled at her and shyly replied,

"I'd jump through hoops for your leftovers." He was a sweet kid. Lindsay returned his smile, handed him some bills and promised as much food as she could get him. Lindsay put away the food items and went to poke her head in Elizabeth – Iris' room. She was absorbed in her lap top, computer glasses perched on her nose and music blaring.

"I'm back!" Lindsay shouted over the 'Thong Song', Farmer only sort of acknowledged her, she was clearly busy. Lindsay returned to her kitchen and plugged her ipod into the speakers, the player had been a gift, the speakers had been an investment, but it was worth the dough she spent. Light hearted thoughts, good music, and the satisfaction of cooking that purged her of all the feelings that had boiled to the surface before.

Dancing around the kitchen and singing along to her music passed the cooking time quickly for Lindsay, with each passing second she felt more and more like her old self again and as the good feeling grew so did her smile. Elizabeth – Iris was thrilled for her friend, not only was her mood returning meaning she felt better, but also because she was so lost in cooking for an army and her loud eclectic music that she didn't notice the fact the Elizabeth – Iris was shaving in the bathroom. Jeans and slacks definitely spoiled a girl, the growth almost called for a machete. She had spent far too long on deciding what to wear and she chide herself for it, this was not a date, sure she'd be taking Don out to dinner, but it would be a thank you, not a relationship. But yet every time his name went through her mind she would question her appearance. Was her make up right, did she look fat, were her assets under emphasized, over emphasized, did she look like a slut or a nun? The uncharacteristic insecurities were driving her insane. An hour of hell later she could no longer take it and had to leave any area with a mirror. It was five forty when Elizabeth – Iris emerged from her primping. Lindsay did a double take when she saw her and Elizabeth – Iris felt a red hot blush creep up her paper white skin.

"You're a little early to be dressed for dinner." Lindsay tells her, the sarcasm is thicker than pea soup and more inquisitive than a four year old.

"Oh, I totally spaced!" Elizabeth – Iris said again drawing on her lying 101 course. "I'm seeing some apartments around six – six thirty." The words were casually hanging in the air until Lindsay's apartment's speaker buzzed. Lindsay raised a brow,

"Looking at apartments with someone." She crossed the living room and hit the speaker,

"Yes?" she inquired tartly.

"Hey, Linds, it's Don, Farmer ready?" Elizabeth – Iris went from red to white in a flash, _Great timing there Donny._ She thought sarcastically. Lindsay's eyebrow went up even further.

"Just about, why don't you wait in the lobby and I'll send her down in a few?" Lindsay said keeping her voice even before buzzing him in. She turned to Farmer.

"'Seeing some apartments'? Here we just call it screwing – what are you wearing all those clothes for?"

"Lindsay, please don't be mad…" Elizabeth – Iris began.

"I'm not mad." Lindsay said cutting her off, she was back at the bottling of emotions again. "I'm a little curious about who's going to help me eat the mass amounts of food I've prepared, but I'm not mad." Elizabeth – Iris hid a smirk,

"Call someone whose hungry." She replied and went for her more fashionable purse, not the feed bag she had taken on the plane, but a smaller black pocketbook that made her feel like a lady.

"Do you have condoms?" Lindsay asked as Elizabeth – Iris headed for the door, it made her stop, silent. Lindsay repeated herself with all seriousness. "Do you have condoms, don't expect him to."

"I'm not going to have sex with Don," she said, _but I want to._ Her inner voice said and the fire in her groin confirmed it. "I said I was apartment hunting, he offered to help, the realtor found some places, I called him."

"I don't care, do you have condoms?" Lindsay said, Elizabeth – Iris didn't know if she didn't believe the night's intentions or if she was just being careful. Farmer sighed.

"Yes, I have condoms covered. Do you?" the last question was the devil in her speaking, what were Lindsay's night's intentions.

"Why – I ain't using 'em." Lindsay said sounding to a trained ear slightly bitter. She, like any other modern woman of her age and her experience would be a little put out at not having any human contact for years. As Elizabeth – Iris left she parted with,

"That may change."

Lindsay stared at her now closed door for a full minute. What. The. Hell. What had just happened – Elizabeth – Iris and Don (sounds like a band name), what was going on there? And then what was 'that may change' supposed to mean? If she was going to get played Farmer was a dead girl several times over and there would be no evidence. She shook her head and went back into the kitchen to finish prepping her pierogis. Who could she call to help her eat? She didn't know very many people in the city, it wasn't like she was in Bozeman and could call the usual suspects to come and help. Who could she call? Stella? Probably not, if she wasn't still working the case she probably had a hot date or an argument with Mac, who would probably be either working or sleeping, it wasn't Wednesday. Sheldon would be with Talitha and they deserved as much cuddle time as they could get, they had very little between Hawkes' work hours and Talitha's return to school. Don was the reason she was looking for a table partner, so that left Danny as the only friend she could call. Her neck heated up, could she really call him? Looking at the large pan of strawberry pretzel dessert and amount of potato and cheese perogis she was making, she had to.

"Messer." Danny said answering his cell after two rings.

"Hey Danny, it's me." Lindsay said silently praying that her voice sounded more confident than it felt. Why on earth was she feeling so embarrassed and insecure about this?

"You alright Montana?" His voice went from impersonal to concern in a breath.

"Just peachy, Farmer forgets that Gwen's the therapist. Although I do have a bit of a problem…"

"What is it?!" there was an urgency in the question that made her blush harder.

"Elizabeth – Iris is looking at apartments with Don and I cooked for about two hundred, there's no way I can eat all of this…"

"I'll be over in twenty minutes or so." He said she didn't have to pussyfoot around an invitation he had understood her. Lindsay flipped her cell phone shut, was that really so hard? Yes. She sighed and brought a pot of water to a boil so she could start cooking the millions of little dough balls.

"_If you were gay, it'd be okay, I mean 'cause hey, I'd like you anyway."_ It was William and Joel's ring tone.

"Happy Anniversary!" Lindsay said greeting her dear second family.

"You remembered Ronni!" the voice of William Albright said sounding surprised.

"Of course I did!" Lindsay said faking insult at the implied accusation that she had forgotten.

"Mmm – hum." It was a doubtful and sarcastic sound that brought a smile to Lindsay's face.

"Shut up, I did too, I have your present right here beside me." It was a half lie; the tiffany silver was in her room.

"We could argue over the phone all day but I'd rather see you, I was just calling to tell you to hook up your webcam the pre - party is about to start and I want you there."

"Alright Willie, I'll get on that, see you in a bit." Lindsay said and they both rang off. Lindsay pulled out a chair at the table/ extra counter space and quickly gathered up some of her fatter books (two Micheners and three forensic textbooks) she stacked the books on the chair and hooked up her laptop and webcam atop the pile so it was at a better level than if she just put it on her kitchen chair. In a few minutes there was live feed from Bozeman. William Albright and Joel Tension were standing in their warm living room smiling at her. Willie was the taller of the two, his hair was grey and sere, and there were lines forming around his smiling eyes, but like Jimmy Buffett said, and all involved in the broadcast believed, wrinkles only go where the smiles have been. Joel, Willie's partner was shorter and stockier, had the scars of a high school and college football career making his appearance distinct. He had the luck and his hair, it was all there and the same color it had been twenty five years ago. Looking on their faces was something she had missed for almost a year and seeing them brought tears to her eyes. It was a crippling moment of homesickness.

"Hey guys." She greeted them waving, they waved back.

The second family conversed for a short time before the fathers were joined by their daughter and the conversation shifted around a bit. Marilyn Albright looked gorgeous as ever, happy, engaged, and twenty eight, Willie had adopted her as a single father when she was four, living in a Japanese orphanage. It was good to see the changes her sort of sister had gone through, Lindsay remembered the day they had announced they were twins, Lindsay had been eight, and Marilyn had been four. Joel had replied to the announcement, "well, you're both girls." The conversation shifted again when Jessica arrived and took a seat on the couch facing the camera. It was like life before she moved, where they just hung out and made fun of each other and talked, except she was flaming brandy in her apartment in New York instead of drinking beer in Bozeman. The mundane tête-à-tête of randomness made Danny ring five times before Lindsay realized someone was buzzing her.

"Answer your damn door Ronni." Joel told her, he recognized the sound first. Lindsay paused a whole second before remembering,

"Danny!" she quickly made to buzz him in. She could hear her family in the kitchen talking about the fact she was having a man over. Lindsay groaned as she waited by the door.

"You guys be nice or I'll shut you off." Lindsay threatened.

"When are we ever not nice?" Marilyn asked, the Bozeman group laughed heartily. Danny arrived tense seconds later. He greeted her with a scolding as she opened the door.

"You never just buzz someone up Montana!" he said harshly. She had given him a heart attack when she reviled how dumb she could be, horrible flashes of her naivety leading to her death had pledged him as he headed to her door.

"I know I wasn't really paying attention…" Lindsay said pushing a bang out of her eyes nervously as she let him in.

"Ronni, whose there?" Willie called as she locked up behind Danny who stopped taking off his jacket at the voice.

"Company?" he asked, Lindsay's reply was cut off by hollers that came on top of each other.

"Bring him in here?" "Did he call you Montana?" "You didn't mention any men!"

"Not exactly company…" She said not sure how to explain the crazy people talking to her. Neither moved from the living room until Lindsay heard her mother.

"Linds, check your Cider or it'll turn to tar!"

"Make yourself at home." Lindsay said before hurrying to check on her brandy and red wine mixed drink that was a family thing. As she turned off the heat she hissed at her computer,

"I thought I told you to be nice."

"What'd I do?" Danny's voice came from the door way of living room and kitchen.

"Nothing." Lindsay told him; from Montana Jessica heard the distinctive accent and knew what was going on, to a certain extent. She didn't want to totally embarrass her daughter, lest they not speak, but this was a golden moment.

"Danny Messer?" Jessica asked. Danny looked in total surprise at Lindsay who in turned looked in object horror at her mother who looked very pleased with herself.

"Danny, go stand by the fridge." Jessica said.

"MOTHER!" Lindsay exclaimed, totally confused Danny chose between doing what the bodiless voice said or standing and thinking, he went with the one that didn't hurt his head. He squeezed between the table and Lindsay and stood in front of the photo covered refrigerator.

"Perfect." The voice said, it came from a laptop, on the screen was the real time image of a living room with four people seated, all staring at him. From his right Lindsay sighed.

"I really hate you some times mother." A snowy haired woman with a long braid laughed, as did the pretty Asian woman with a bob and two men sprawled together on a loveseat.

"Well introduce us." One of the men said.

"Don't think you're exempt from this hate vibe I'm sending – all of you are doomed!" Lindsay said moving her fingers from her eyes to the screen in the 'I have my eyes on you' sign, Danny joined in the mirth this time, he had never seen his Montana act so absurd before.

"Just get on with it." The Asian woman and youngest person in the room said. Lindsay threw her hands up like a drama queen. "You win. Danny, this is webcam feed from Bozeman. The old woman is my mother Jessica." Jessica Monroe over exaggerated her disgust at her daughters comments, but was laughing to hard to be believable.

"The other double X chromosome is my borrowed little sister Marilyn. The men are Willie Albright and Joel Tension, it's their anniversary." The men waved and smiled. "This is Danny Messer." Lindsay finished.

"You're the highly evolved being that did that stuff to her." Marilyn said snapping her fingers in recognition. Both Danny and Lindsay blushed.

"Lyn, exnay on the Itheadshay1." Lindsay said making the beheading motion at the camera.

"Oh would you look at the time!" Willie said as a save, "we need to get around so we can go get a good table at The Café." Lindsay breathed a sigh of relief.

"But before we go, Lindsay you owe us a song." Joel said Lindsay chocked on her oxygen.

"WHAT?" Lindsay asked, "I don't remember that coming up…" There was no way in hell she was going to sing in front of Danny Messer, she'd rather streak again.

"Hey it's our anniversary and we don't have your present yet." Joel replied.

"It's coming."

"It ain't here yet. So make up for it and give us a song."

"But…"

"Don't you sass me young'en." Joel replied. A string of curses rolled off Lindsay's tongue and after the Montanan group (plus Danny) stopped laughing Lindsay spoke.

"Oh all right, I'll sing what ever you want, but you can't look at me, I'm going in the other room. And for the record I hate you all."

"Your scorn is nothing new to us." Joel replied.

"Just tell me what you want." Lindsay said shortly.

"I Don't Know How to Love Him." Was the simultaneous answer from the committed couple. Lindsay swore again. Danny didn't know a thing about what they were talking about, but he did know he was on pins and needles to hear her sing. He had no idea that Montana could carry a tune in a bucket. Although, hindsight is twenty – twenty she did look like a chorus nerd.

"Y'all stay here." She told them and left the room, the people on the screen looked at him hard, he didn't know if it was because they were waiting to here Lindsay or if they were looking at him. He didn't know and didn't care the second she started singing. Her voice was lower and richer than her speaking voice and it was utterly enchanting.

"I don't know how to love him. What to do, how to move him. I've been changed, yes really changed. In these past few days, when I've seen myself, I seem like someone else." His brain registered the fact the tune was from a musical but that was the only thought in his brain as she swelled her song, even without music to reference she was amazing. "I don't know how to take this. I don't see why he moves me. He's a man. He's just a man. And I've had so many men before, in very many ways, he's just one more. Should I bring him down? Should I scream and shout? Should I speak of love, let my feelings out? I never thought I'd come to this. What's it all about? Don't you think it's rather funny; I should be in this position. I'm the one who's always been so calm, so cool, no lover's fool, running every show. He scares me so." Jessica Monroe didn't really listen to her daughter's song; she knew what Lindsay sounded like she had heard the various renditions of many songs through out the years they lived under the same roof. It was her in fact that had told William and Joel to ask for a song in the first place, when she had planted the seed she didn't know that Danny would be there but now she was thrilled with the twist of fate. The song was eerily fitting and Lindsay was as usual very good and she watched Danny Messer carefully. He had an unguarded look on his face as he listened, it was a look of love, any person could tell. Jessica could only truly marvel at how blind her daughter could be she missed the meaning of that look. Love was looking her right in the face and she was totally ignorant of it. "I never thought I'd come to this.  
What's it all about? Yet, if he said he loved me, I'd be lost. I'd be frightened. I couldn't cope, just couldn't cope. I'd turn my head. I'd back away. I wouldn't want to know. He scares me so. I want him so. I love him so." The note faded and the company clapped. Lindsay returned to the kitchen embarrassed as hell and redder than a tomato.

"Bravo!" The Montanans chorused as they clapped she banished them quickly, still embarrassed beyond comprehension. When the image line went dead she dared to look at Danny.

"I didn't know you sang." He said.

"Typically it's a shower thing." She should not have said that, they both watched the same little mental film strip of a steamy shower seen with two participants. _AWKWARD!_ Lindsay's mind screamed and she cleared her throat, the situation needed to be defused. She walked to a cupboard and pulled out a plate and handed it to him, she say another aside for herself before walking over to the refrigerator and pulled out the cucumber salad.

"Potato and cheese perogis and cucumber salad." She told him, "Help yourself." She then moved to the other side of the kitchen and busied herself with pouring the cider into mugs.

Danny looked at her for a long moment before looking at the food in front of him. Emotions moved through him faster than beer moved through a frat or gossip through the NYPD. He had had dreams where he was eating what she cooked, except circumstances were different, they usually also involved a house and on occasions a kid or five. He dished up the perogis and salad and accepted a large mug that had a fifties solder picture saying 'how 'bout a nice cup of shut the fuck up?' He chucked, and then he saw her mug and completely lost it. The dominatrix said 'I'm not shy… I'm sizing up my pray.' Lindsay looked at him confused for a second before she looked at her mug; she cracked a smile as well.

"Really can't take them to work now can I?" She said before filling her own plate and nodding towards the living room, Danny followed her still laughing slightly. Lindsay sat down at the far end of her old sofa with her legs curled underneath her. She put her mug on the coffee table; he imitated the action and took the opposite end of the couch.

_Biology; The Science of Lindsay's Life_ was in the middle of the table. Lindsay inwardly groaned, how had she missed that? Elizabeth – Iris was hell bent on spilling everything Lindsay had fought to contain. She ignored the book, perhaps if she didn't acknowledge it, it wouldn't be there. Returning to her plate she did her best to not glance at the table or at Danny, it was hard work.

"This is pretty good Montana." He commented sounding mildly surprised.

"What were you expecting?" she questioned with a raised brow, _make it a joke, there's a good girl, distract him from the danger zone._ Danny paused and thought.

"Dunno, but not this." He finally said ferociously attacking a perogi.

"All Monroes know how to cook." It was true, every descendent of Oscar and Mabel learned at an early age.

"Really." Danny commented as he ate, clearly he was waiting for a story – probably something Hick like or really Betty Crocker.

"Can't be independent if you can't eat." She said, "Can't you cook?"

"I can feed myself" he said, "but this is beyond my culinary expertise, its all from scratch isn't it."

"It's Monroe comfort food." She replied feeling the contraction and three words spoke all that needed to be said. They were silent for a space of time eating and drinking in the same room but different worlds. Try as she might Lindsay's world revolved still around the book staring at her from the coffee table and the man who she wanted to stare at. She couldn't keep her eyes from either one, but he wasn't paying attention so for the blessed moment she was safe. Danny is lost in his thoughts and she speculated rather cynically about them; she wanted to think that he was thinking about her, the way she was thinking about him. But she knew that he was probably thinking about the day, the case, how awkward everything had been, what he was giving up to be there or just about food in general. Nothing about sharing a meal for real, or the fact the bedroom was relatively close, or any of the things that danced through her mind and made her neck heat up.

They talked little after the silence, there was a short conversation about hard cider and underage drinking, they were both guilty. They talked about seconds, but the ratio of silence: conversation was still tipped in silence's favor.

"_Ms. Olsen had a closet E-I-E-I-O and in this closet she had some shoes, E-I-E-I-O with a Jimmy Choo here, and Prada there, here a pump, there a slide, every where…"_ Elizabeth – Iris' ring tone shattered the silence, sheepishly Lindsay sat her plate atop her scrapbook and took the call in the bathroom.

"_Are you going to talk to him?"_ Elizabeth – Iris asked before greetings could be exchanged.

"What the hell are you playing at?" Lindsay hissed.

"_Talk to him, he deserves to know."_ Farmer replied.

"Elizabeth – Iris I am a big girl."

"_All the more reason to have someone who can take care of you when you fall."_

"Go look at your apartments, stop jacking around with my life, get one of your own."

"_Love you too babe."_ Farmer hung up. Lindsay closed her phone and let fly a string of curses, returning to the living room she smiled apologetically. Danny was looking at his phone when she got back.

"I just got a text from Don." Danny said handing her his cell. It read;

"EIO says ask about; Bio, Mad dog, E, & Lanie" Lindsay looked at the phone and rubbed her eyes.

"I think we just got played." She told him.

* * *

1 Pig Latin, Shithead 


	10. Tidbits

In Hoxie We Trust

* * *

Disclaimer: I own my sense of reality; actual reality is out of my hands.

An: If you like too many are a victim of domestic violence or know someone who is speak out and stop it. There is no shame in coming forward.

* * *

Chapter Nine: Tidbits

Lindsay drew and hand over her face and sighed, she was gunna kill that girl friend of hers. Danny looked at her and rubbed the back of his neck, it was a nervous gesture.

"You don't haveta tell me nothin' if ya don't wanna." He said, his accent thicker because he was flustered.

"Elizabeth – Iris would kill me if I didn't talk." Lindsay replied from behind her hand. She paused and slowly took her hand away. "You can stay and I'll talk, or you can walk out the door and I won't think any less of you." Danny stood up, but he didn't leave. Instead he walked around the coffee table and stood toe to toe with her, making her look up to meet his eyes. He was so close she could smell his soap and the dryer sheet he had used in the laundry, it made her shiver. He pushed a lock of wayward hair out of her face and looked her straight in the eye.

"I wouldn't walk out that door unless you threw me out Montana. You were there for me when I really needed you, what kind of person would I be not returning the favor?" It was so sweet and genuine that she had to will her lungs to work and her cells to divide, she was at a standstill.

"I… I… I don't know where to begin." She finally said quietly. She was actually going to do this, tell someone who knew nothing; she was going to tell him everything. She stepped away from him and went back to the coach and opened her Biology Scrapbook. As she found the picture she was looking for he say beside her.

Danny looked at the photo that was in Lindsay's lap, it was a staged family portrait. She was about eight and the prettiest little girl he had ever seen, she hadn't changed in the twenty plus time laps, she was now the prettiest woman he had ever seen. His eyes moved to the man behind her in the photo, she was perched on his lab. This was her father; Mr. Monroe was tall and barrel chested his tan skin denoted hours of the day were devoted to being outside. He looked like a guy that would be very scary if you were picking up his little girl for a date, a shotgun wasn't too out of character for him. Next to the father was a younger version of the woman who had given him commands from Bozeman earlier. Nothing was different about Jessica Monroe except for the hair color, in this photo she was still an auburn haired thirty something. Behind Jessica was the spitting image of Lindsay except older. A big sister at a guess. Lindsay sighed and placed a finger on her father.

"That's my Dad, Everett. He was a large animal vet, mother and him met in college, she's the county coroner. There was no question about me and science; it was as good as coded in my DNA. She moved her finger to her sister. "Madison, Maddi, she's eight and a half years older than I am. We never got a long, I was supposed to be a boy, she was okay with a second child if I was a boy. But I was a girl and apparently had more shoes than she did. Growing up she had nothing to do with me. I was an only child and she was an only child." Lindsay sighed quietly and turned a few pages, a new staged picture was in her lap. Things had changed, in this photo there was a man, but not Everett Monroe, the sisters were older as was Jessica, there were children.

"This was taken seven years ago. My father had died three years before – cancer. He went peacefully, told me that he was proud of his front row seat in my life but surly the balcony was just as good. Fourteen years ago my sister married Paul Chadwick," She thrust a finger at the only man in the photo. "Four years ago she finally divorced the bastard, he liked to drink and smack her around." There was such bitterness in her voice it was like another person was speaking through her. "This is my nephew Allan." Her voice changed again as she pointed to a teenaged boy with light brown hair and brown eyes, he had the body of a football player. "Al's twenty one now, going to get married himself, as soon as his tour of duty is over, he's in the Special Forces, Alyssa is finishing her physical therapy degree, when Al gets back he wants to be an engineer." Lindsay's finger moved to a younger girl that looked like her and Madison, it must be a law that all the Monroe women had to be cute. "This is Irene, she's eighteen just graduated, wants to teach reading, some how she has maintained a positive out look on life, she grew up in a war zone but she hasn't let that jade her…" A piece of the Lindsay Monroe puzzle fell into place, if her sister was a victim of domestic violence and if her nephew and niece were also victims Stella getting beat was too close to home for comfort.

"Maddi's ordeal jaded me, when she divorced him she had a break down, tried to commit suicide, my mother found her in the tub with one wrist done, she was checked in to serious therapy as soon as her wrist healed, I was working in Denver at the time but went back to help raise Irene, this put all the bricks in the wall that had slowly come down in the relationship between Mad dog and I, putting us back where we started." There was no emotion in her voice as she told him these facts and stared down at the photograph. "By now I'm sure you've made the connection between Maddi and Stella," She turned a few more pages. There was a gilded frame around a great photo of a teenage girl in a Victorian looking garnet gown, across from it was the same girl but more casually dressed. There were photos of her building a set, being a ham, covered in paint, applying make up, as well as getting made up herself.

"This is Delaney; she's my youngest cousin, sixteen, living in Bozeman. I absolutely love her." Lindsay said smiling at the images that smiled back, but soon Lindsay's lips sank back to a neutral if not sad expression. "She's an amazing actress, really puts her heart and soul into everything theatrical. Her dream is to live in New York and be on Broadway…" she swallowed, more emotional than when talking about her sister. "Just like Sara Butler, she was just like Sara, so I was seeing my little cuz laid out on the slab in stead of the woman that was…" Lindsay flipped a few more pages and sighed again; she was finding this easier than she imagined, it was like bleeding out illness once the first pain was over every thing else flowed.

Danny knew that every word was hard for her, but he was drinking it up. He was blessed; selfishly he reveled in the face she was opening up to him. He didn't like to open up and he knew that she was private so to listen to her tell her story made him happy, no matter how sad the tale was. He now knew why she was the way she was, he hadn't given her credit, sure his life had been harder but he now realized that her youth wasn't a walk in the park. Her hand flips through the rest of the pages absently he sees the colors fly by like a flip book, every once in a while he can distinguish a picture, a bull here, Halloween costume there, Lindsay in her green opera dress standing next to a red haired bride. Another picture flies by,

"Stop." Danny said putting a hand on the page he wanted to see. He stared in disbelief as high school Lindsay stared up from the page, her chest nearing falling out of her corseted dress, it was a still shot from a play and Lindsay was center stage belting her lungs out from the looks of things. Lindsay laughed shyly.

"That was my senior year the thespians hog tied me and made me audition for the musical, I got in."

"What were you?" he asked eyes not straying from the photo, he never in a million years expected his Montana to be so full of surprises.

"Ado Annie from Oklahoma." She said laughing again.

"Should that mean something to me?" he asked. There was a muttering of something that sounded like, 'Men!'

"Ado Annie Carnes was the girl who couldn't say no. They gave me the little bobcat for that performance because I was so 'out of character'."

"You are just full of surprises Montana, is there anything else I should know?" he asked, the tension that had been in the room as she talked about her sister and her father's death and her cousin had snapped and he was now trying to make her feel happy, he was searching for that smile that turned him inside out.

"Everyone looks at me and thinks I'm lil' miss Pleasantville, I may not have been the wild one in any relationship but I have a personality." Lindsay complained, Danny felt a zing of happiness, here was an opportunity to learn more about the woman who had his mind by the short hairs. He was a CSI because he wanted to learn everything and Lindsay Monroe was his life case.

"Alright Miss Monroe tell me what people over look." He said trying to sound casual, Lindsay blushed.

"All I've done is talk about myself, all night."

"So you're interesting…" _and my obsession and have me wrapped around your finger…_ Danny put on his best begging face and Lindsay lost every defense she had built.

"If I tell you something you've gotta do the same, quid pro quo." It was her last wall and it was as protective as a croquet wicket.

"Deal." His smile sent her souring.

"You first." She said.

"Nah – uh, you first." He replied, the smile the child like banter brought to her lips was so genuine that he swelled with pride at the knowledge he had been the cause, he felt completed, fulfilled. Eventually she lost the 'you first' game.

"I really hate you." She complained.

"You wanted people to see you complete…" he retorted. She pouted before begrudgingly telling him information he craved,

"I had my first beer when I was ten. It was a Sam Adams and I snuck it out of the cooler on the fourth of July, my parents never found out, three days before Maddi's boyfriend and her were picked up for having an open brewsky in the car." Danny wondered at what a ten year old Montana would look like; as he tried to visualize her she gazed at him expectantly.

"Well," She said, "where's my quo at?" Then it hit him, he was going to have to tell her something. Even if her life had shadows his was still darker. She had surveillance because her mother knew some cops; he had surveillance because his father was in trouble with the cops. But he knew that she wouldn't judge him, she never judged him like the rest of the world had and still did, it was one of the reasons why he loved her so.

"When you were little you did some law breaking, when I was little I dreamed of law breaking, I wanted to be a _Capo…_ Like my father and his father…" Danny said, Lindsay's expression didn't change, she took the information like he had just told her he had wanted to be a rock star when he was little.

"To quote Garth Brookes, Some times I thank God for unanswered prayers." She said lightly, there was quite for a time.

"Well Montana, give me another tidbit." Danny finally said breaking the tick tock of the clock; give a little, get a lot was how he was viewing this interview. Lindsay blew a bang out of her hair.

"When I was sixteen my dad got me a restored motorcycle, it was a 125 Honda circa 1974, of course I could never fit all of my stuff on the back so the family also got me a gigantic purple 1973 Chevelle that had been passed down through the grandchildren like an oral tradition. It was the size of a boat; we used to call it the purple people eater a girl could disappear in the thing. Lanie got the PPE when she turned sixteen last month. I kept my motorcycle until I was twenty when I crashed it."

"How did you crash?" Danny asked, his engine was getting revved thinking about Lindsay startling a motorcycle, machinery was a turn on he wasn't going to lie.

"I was going to my grandmother's to surprise them on Christmas, anyway getting there you took this monster hill with a hairpin turn at the end, I missed the turn, hit a drift and sent my self over the handle bars, I broke my elbow." She clapped her hands together sending one hand out over the other as if it was her body. "So," She said turning back to him, "Wada ya got?"

"Aiden's ring tone was Bad Girls by Donna Summers because I like that song but felt stupid having it on my Ipod…" he said shrugging. Lindsay laughed, it was the kind of laughter that resonated through her and through him.

"You always struck me as a closet disco fan." That knocked him on his proverbial ass.

"Really?"

"Oh yeah." She said nodding but unable to keep a straight face. He began to laugh as well and in no time they were both shaking and snorting, snickering together on her elderly sofa. Danny recovered first.

"Alright Montana your turn again." With her thumb Lindsay swiped away the tears that had fallen leaving a dust pan style line of eye make up. For a moment she thought.

"I got a tattoo as a graduation present to myself." She finally said he raised a brow; she didn't strike him as a tattoo person.

"Of what?" he asked, he had never seen any ink on her. His mind was thinking of all sorts patches of skin that she could put an image on, and how he would like to see. Lindsay turned away from him and lifted her shirt, along her spin from the bottom of her shoulder blades to the top of her hips. The image looked almost alien; it was an abstract symmetry of lines. He tilted his head, it still didn't make sense.

"Your message is lost on me Montana." He said, Lindsay sighed and to his great surprise moved to lie on her side. Her legs stretched out over his hips, the image was then horizontal, she pointed to it although he wasn't too focused on her hand.

"You ever write your name in cursive along a crease and cut it out?" she asked.

"That is totally how I spend my free time." He said sarcastically, she still managed to hit him despite the awkward position.

"Its cursive mirror writing, like that activity. The word is _Tuebor_." She pointed out the T – U – E – B – O – R, from her movements he could tell she was used to having to point out the letters, a pang of jealousy hit him at the thought of other men seeing her tat.

"T – what?"

"Tuebor, I will protect. Latin." She said, "I was going to be a CSI, I was protecting my sister and I had this epiphany about how I should spend the rest of my life." As she got off his lap he wanted to say, _Get back here, I'm having an epiphany about how I want to spend the rest of my life and it involves that position you were just in._ A life time with Lindsay in close proximity sounded pretty good.

"Your turn." She said breaking into his thoughts. Danny blinked once, twice, three times, his turn. _Brain must function._ He licked his lips.

"I was George Gibbs in _Our Town_ my junior year." Lindsay chocked, Danny Messer and his thick 'mook' accent, that bad boy playing a goody two shoes romantic led. George's biggest sin was not chopping wood for his mother and being obsessed with baseball. Danny grew up wanting to be a wise guy; his brother was in a gang that he himself almost pledged like a fraternity.

"You're kidding me." Lindsay exclaimed.

"Does this face kid?" Danny replied as seriously as he could. They both laughed.

"I'm sorry you just…" she pointed an open palm up at him in an almost shrug.

"I didn't wanna, but theatre was one of the few approved activities for a gangster's son." Lindsay felt a little pang for him; his police surveillance had been real not his mother's friends.

"Did you like it?" she asked, in her day she had been a drama freak, it made her something else, it gave her the freedom she craved.

"Loved it." He said, "I never thought it would be as fun as it was. I even thought about going out for Guys and Dolls…" The image of Danny in a dark pinstripe suit pushed every other thought out of Lindsay's mind and she stopped listening. There was a role she could see him in… and out of…

"Your turn" brought her to her senses.

As the stories flew by the time followed, and the last thing Danny remembered about the night was Lindsay's head on his shoulder as she yawned something about a trombone and a ska band.

* * *

_Thank you for reading thus far, and a huge thank you to all my reviewers, you make me sooo happy. and a big thanks to ChocoBetty for being an awsome idea bounce - er - off - er person..._

_Streakie_


	11. Parallel

In Hoxie We Trust

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Disclaimer: I own my sense of reality; actual reality is out of my hands.

AN: See if you can spot the times I don't know anything, trust me that's a not small protion of the time.

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Chapter Ten: Parallel

_Meanwhile, with Elizabeth – Iris and Don_

Don rocked on his heels in Lindsay's lobby waiting for Elizabeth – Iris; his anxiety level was up so high that even a hippie couldn't touch it. He didn't understand all the feelings he was experiencing, the totally amount of hours he knew her should not equate the amount of feelings he was having for her. This was just a friendly help, assistance to a friend's friend; he was being nice. _Yeah, but Flack, you're not nice._ How the hell Lindsay Monroe's voice got in his head he didn't know. He should just ignore the craziness going on in his brain, as his heels connected to the ground and he lifted his toes in a roll – like motion he focused on a spot on the marble floor that looked like an elephant, his mind danced around what that would mean to Freud when he heard the elevator doors open. The first thing he saw was a pair of boots that should be registered as lethal weapons, then toned legs clad in sheer black hose, his eyes went up farther, past a grey shirt, purple blouse, black belt, to the face of Elizabeth – Iris Olsen. His body should not have the knee – jerk reaction that it was.

"Hey." She greeted him smiling. He knew if he made an 'H' sound it would come out as 'Hello, I love you.' So instead he nodded casually,

"Ready to go?" Elizabeth – Iris felt heat attack her paper white skin, she felt like she was going on her first date. _This is not a date, repeat this is not a date, its business._ She screamed in her head as he led her to his car parked at a meter in front. Now her head was screaming, _Say something!_ Stupid schizophrenic inner self.

"Thank you so much for giving me a hand, you're my hero." _Not that! _Her inner voice chide her, _Way to make light a word he is, he's NYPD, he's a hero without helping idiots like you! _GaH! Shut up voice or get poked with a Q tip. Flack was totally ignorant of the insanity in her head and chuckled.

"I do my best to please." Why did he have to have such a sexy chuckle? She soon realized life would've been easier if she had handled this alone. She slid into the passenger seat beside him awkward as hell.

"So," he asked, "where to?" Elizabeth – Iris dug in her purse for her notebook.

"Corner of La Guardia and west 4th1." She read, "We're meeting Jerry Silverman there."

"The Jerry Silverman?" Don asked as he pulled into traffic, his brows shot up, Jerry Silverman was a big time realtor. Farmer was nice and probably did very well but they seemed to be in different circles.

"An officer I worked with's wife's niece is married to him."

"They met though the roommate's boyfriend's sister's dog." Elizabeth – Iris laughed.

"I thought the same thing, but who cares, the Jerry Silverman is finding me an apartment!" She was just a little giddy, and they laughed together until the rumble of mirth faded into silence.

Elizabeth – Iris watched him drive out of the corner of her eye in a twisted masochistic, border line voyeuristic manner. He was really getting to her. His blue eyes were locked on the road in front of him in a serious penetrating stare, but his face was relaxed. His strong jaw had no tension and his profile highlighted his nose, a body feature she was finding more and more sexy. _You know what they say about noses…_ Bad self! She chide herself and shifted focus down. His hands were big, and shapely, his long fingers held the wheel tightly, his every turn had confidence in it. And damn if it didn't want to make her melt right into her stiletto boots. She had to get her mind out of the gutter, her eyes on her task, her lungs working, and her heart out of the equation. She was way to busy to entertain fantasies about attractive co - workers of her friend.

Don was caught in a catch twenty two; on the one hand he was on the road past the Lessing bomb sight. The explosion engulfed him in living color as he drove, he should be over it, but he knew that he never would be. The other hand brought Elizabeth – Iris. The city lights were reflected in her beautiful violet eyes making them dance and glow. She was so small, the definition of petite. At lest a foot shorter than him he could only guess her weight, but something told him that he could bench-press her easily. Everything about her was slim, her body, face, nose, fingers, heels on her shoes. He'd seen other skinny girls but none had made him feel like she did, he wanted to protect her in more than an NYPD way. He wanted to have the soul privilege of providing a jacket and defending her honor. He wasn't a player, but he also wasn't a romantic and the feelings were as out of character as heels and a dress.

Her prospective apartment building was of average New York height and a typical shade of grey. Built in 2001 it was still a pre war, whatever that meant. Don and Elizabeth – Iris got out of the car, eyes drawn to different things. He noted the security system, just a buzzer. Don didn't like buzzer apartments, they were only a small step up from nothing, he knew exactly how many deaths occurred by bad buzzing skills, the thought of Farmer so unprotected crossed the apartment off the list immediately for him. He'd like to see her in a doorman building, like his. His doorman was retired NYPD, had worked the same time as Senior Flack, he was a good guy. Of course if Elizabeth – Iris lived in his apartment building she might as well live with him, he could personally see to her safety, she was just too small not to have…. Whoa, whoa, whoa, he had to stop the run away train of thought before it jumped tracks to something more… just more. He had to get her out of his head. Elizabeth – Iris looked at the building, it wasn't what she expected, her dream New York life didn't have her in a corporate cookie cutter, she wanted something more unique and posh for her Carrie Bradshaw fantasy life. But it didn't have a doorman; she didn't want another person knowing about her 'sleepovers'. Not that she was a nympho, she did however believe in the occasional night cap. Of course why was she thinking about sex, she knew a total of four single men in New York; Mac Taylor, Sheldon Hawkes, Danny, and Don. And of them Hawkes had a girlfriend, Danny should be with Lindsay, and Mac was a little too like her father for comfort, plus he and Stella had a vibe going. That left Don, and she only met him a week ago (ish). Besides with his looks he probably had a rotating calendar of women. She wouldn't make the list, he probably liked girls who at least looked him in the chin, not to mention had a chest. She was so flat she was almost concave; Lindsay was Pam Anderson by comparison. She sighed and looked up at him,

"Well, ready to go?" He smiled and gestured, after you.

Jerry Silverman was an unfortunate middle age man, once handsome he had gone to seed more than a dandelion. Although only a few inches taller than Elizabeth – Iris he weighed enough to be taller than Flack.

"Miss Olsen." The man said shaking her hand.

"Elizabeth – Iris, please." She replied, Silverman nodded.

"Jerry." He then turned to Flack. "You're…" he began.

"Don Flack." Don said unsure of how to explain their relationship.

"He's my second opinion." Farmer jumped in before things got awkward. Don smiled, Jerry's look changed slightly. _Yeah buddy, just try and pull the wool, I'm a native._ Don thought laughing on the inside. Jerry began the tour, Elizabeth – Iris clicked her heels after him never really staying in one spot as she looked at the apartment. She went from looking at the closet to standing in the middle of the bed room to watching traffic in the living room; it was like she was searching for a signal for her soul and the apartment's reception was poor. She flipped her hair behind her as she opened the bathroom door, he never realized how long the Indian ink strands where but as they hung loose down her back they grazed the top of her hips and very nice butt, the quaff was long and straight and looked smoother than silk. She stepped into the washroom and he absent mindedly followed her, still mesmerized at how much hair she had. The shower/ tub was smashed against the toilet which was smashed against the sink which was against the door which was wedging Elizabeth – Iris in, he was pressed between the amenities and her in no time.

"Little bathroom." He commented awkwardly trying to get out of the room and place his hands appropriately.

"No shit." She replied, they snorted at the bad pun. She moved towards the door catching their hips together and more firmly wedging them between wall and sink. She smiled up at him covering the weirdness with humor.

"This place is out, Lindsay would go insane in here." She side stepped again, poking him with her pointy toed shoes but she managed to free them, she stood in the hall shyly after the close encounter of the third kind.

"Claustrophobic?" He asked joining her in the by far roomier hallway.

"Like nobody's business." She confirmed they walked back into the living room together. "Well Jerry, what's behind door number two?"

Elizabeth – Iris slid into the passenger seat as they started to the next apartment building.

"Do you think Danny would be at Lindsay's by now?" she asked pulling out her blackberry, Don shrugged.

"I guess so, why?"

"I'm promoting open lines of communication." She told him pressing the speed dial. There was a pause before Farmer jumped on her friend,

"Are you going to talk to him?" Elizabeth – Iris asked forwardly.

"_What the hell are you playing at?"_ Lindsay hissed.

"Talk to him, he deserves to know." Farmer replied.

"_Elizabeth – Iris I am a big girl."_

"All the more reason to have someone who can take care of you when you fall."

"_Go look at your apartments, stop jacking around with my life, get one of your own."_

"Love you too babe." Farmer hung up and turned to Don. "Text Danny." she told him, Don unclipped his phone from his belt and handed it to her.

"I'm not going to endanger my life by helping you." He told her, she took the phone from him brushing her long fingers against his in the process. She began to punch numbers.

"She can still get you on conspiracy; the left doesn't need to know what the right is doing." She hit send and handed the phone back to him.

"So what do you think of the apartment?" he asked sneaking a look over at her, twilight danced around her.

"Nice subject change." She commented, "Up holding the manly rule of not talking relationships?"

"Danny and I talk, just not with people who know other parties…" He swallowed his tongue a non verbal sign suggesting, 'I should not have said that'.

"I see, what happens between us stays between us, just like Vegas. Decent policy, Hoxies are the same way." She smiled at him with a wink.

"So about that apartment." Don asked getting back to his original diversion.

"You'll probably think I'm nuts," she said.

"There's no probably." He smirked at her as she shot him a face.

"But I want an apartment that speaks to me."

"The apartment whisperer. Now tell me what nothings will it drop in your ear?" she was quiet for a moment.

"I want something more unique, this place was very corporate, too corporate for me, I know pretty antidisestablishmentarian-istic for a lawyer."

"Now that's a five dollar word." He commented.

"Only got me a fifteen outta twenty on my HE10 essay."

"Heaton?" he questioned.

"HE Ten. Honors English Ten. She didn't like my "verbiage", who uses "verbiage" in everyday language? Crazy ol' lady."

"Alright other than something more bohemian for our establishment worker, what else?"

"Shut up piglet. I would love a two bedroom apartment with a washer and dryer." He laughed, she laughed, the sound reverberated through him changing his pulse and adding another beat to the drum line of the city.

"That's it?" Don was impressed.

"What can I say I'm low maintenance." She replied the cock eyed grin got wider.

"Good to know." Don said he arched a brow at her with a wink. He then turned serious. "What about security?' the question was a loaded pistol.

"Dunno." Elizabeth – Iris said shrugging.

"Not what I want to hear." Was the reprimand.

"I want good security, that's not really an issue. Who wants to get robbed or raped or killed?" She met his eyes they seemed to say, 'Good I don't want you hurt either.'

"Then I'd suggest something along the lines of a doorman and lobby…" He told her.

"Does it really matter, buzzer vs. door man?" she asked him.

"I'd prefer a doorman and lobby with people, more to watch your back."

"Easier to get stalked too." She said. He remembered a case where a woman became a doorperson to observe the man who she believed killed her daughter. But he wasn't going to tell Farmer that.

"It's much harder to have people identify criminals when you have a buzzer; it is easier to get a criminal in too." Don said. Traffic hit bringing them to a standstill.

"I still don't know if I'd want that many people knowing my business. Lindsay does just fine with a buzzer."

"Lindsay carries a gun. And it's not like Dan- I'm happy about the fact she's got a PA for security." He tried to cover up the slip of Danny's affection, Elizabeth – Iris caught it but let the moment go. "As for doormen, mine was a cop at the same time as my father so I know he's top notch." Don told her.

"There any two bedroom places available?" she asked, traffic began to move again but before he moved with it he snuck a long look at her.

"One bedrooms." _If she lives in my building why can't she just live with me? Then I could protect her myself. _She clicked her tongue and shook her head.

"Two bedrooms." She said smiling.

"Well I tried."

The second apartment Jerry showed made Elizabeth – Iris' eyes light up. It was a four story building made of red brick and greenhouse windows. The fire escape was black wrought iron and it snaked its way across the front of the building it was as bohemian a New York place as she could get without living in Alphabet City. He wouldn't trust her in such and area; she would get in trouble in no time. But this apartment was trouble resistant, he could tell, although it had the buzzer he detested it also had a well peopled lobby and at least three locks on the door. She walked in amazement to the center of the living room her head back she spun slowly taking in the room's every aspect. Like a kid in the candy store she oo-ed and awed over everything. The large green house windows showed the city in its glory and filled the room with the soon dead light of day. Excitedly she walked from room to room, Don could hear her heels clicking through the apartment as he and Jerry sat back and let her look.

"What's the legal on this?" Elizabeth – Iris finally asked coming back into the living room. Jerry strung together a jargon filled sentence that he ignored, Elizabeth – Iris replied to it with more legal terminology. Don walked over to the window and let the two talk more; the city was lit up and even though he was born and raised in the place the view of the lights took his breath away. How long did he stand there with his hand in his pockets and thoughts miles away he didn't know, it wasn't until her hand touched his bicep did he snap into the present. If life was a stage this would be the seen where he would pull her into his arms and she would lean into him as they cuddled and watched the lights of the NYC night. But no such luck. She smiled softly.

"Come on," she said nodding her head towards the door, "I'll buy you dinner."

Don felt like a fish out of water as he and Elizabeth – Iris entered 'The Ivies'. Or as he referred to it in his head, the 'no community college zone', more than likely the name of the place was derived from the university the cliental attended. The place _tasted_ like money. He was thankful for his suit and tie, he for once fit in. Elizabeth – Iris on the other hand did not. She appeared to be the first and only woman to go to the place and dress like a woman; not like a woman would think a man would dress if he was a woman. Suits in varying degrees of ugly were the choice across the board for wardrobes. Farmer had none of that. Her light grey skirt didn't hide her legs and her blouse and belt were designed to highlight her waist. She was too chic for the yuppie establishment. Although as he followed her to the bar he noticed he wasn't the only thing trailing her. The eyes of several men weren't on their respective dates, but his. _Not that she's your date man._ He reminded himself.

"The dirtiest martini you can get me… and…" she looked at Flack with the same naughty half smile she had given the bartender as she ordered her drink. Don swallowed.

Bourbon – neat." The stuffy place required a stuffy drink. The barkeep nodded and set to work. They stood in comfortable silence until their drinks arrived making good time. She smiled at the iceless amber in an old fashioned glass.

"Sin to dilute it." She said sipping her martini. The way she held the glass brought his eyes to her slim fingers they had beauty that would be insulted by an over done ring. She only wore one on her left had, it was on her middle finger. A Claddagh ring of white gold was the perfect thing. She looked so fem fatal as she talked about his machismo drink. She brought the drink to her lips and his eyes followed it there, she caught his eye and raised a brow, he was staring and she noticed.

"You drink bourbon?" he asked not knowing anything else to say.

"One of the ties between Lindsay and I is the fact that we both are chicks with dicks." She said, he both chocked and blushed. The word 'dicks' from her lush lips sent his blood pumping in all the wrong directions. "To be in our field of work we really should be men." Elizabeth – Iris elaborated. "Bourbon is a nice way to play dirty with the big boys."

"Maybe you should drink mine and I should drink yours then. I really don't like bourbon; the situation just seemed to call for it." Flack as they walked away from the bar and towards an out of the way table.

"Kentucky or Tennessee?" She asked.

"There's a difference?"

"Sacrilege!" She said thrusting her martini into his hand, replacing the old fashioned glass she ripped out in the first place. She took a sip.

"Kentucky, Makers Mark at a guess. The good stuff."

"So wise in the way of bourbon." Flack commented in his best Sir Bedivere impression.

"My Father liked his bourbon." Elizabeth – Iris carelessly tossed out into the conversation. Images of drunken abuse tormented his senses and raised his hackles. She paused and then realized what she had said, "Oh! Not like that. I mean he literally liked his bourbon. He was a southern boy at heart and every family gathering him and his male family members would sit and drink bourbon, smoke cigarillos, play pool, talk some smack. I was the wonder boy without the stones." Don could see a little farmer sitting on some southern plantation drinking hard liquor out of a mason jar and watching guys in panama hats sink q-balls. It was a homey feeling. He'd never had an interest in going south before, but the imagery was inviting. He wanted to know more.

They sat discussing randomness of the day quite content for a good fifteen minutes. He could feel a ghost of her foot across his shins every time she moved and he felt a ghost of an emotion as he watched her speak with her hands. If those hands could be on him… suddenly they were. She touched his bicep and slid close to him.

"Two o'clock." She whispered into his ear tickling and exciting. He looked and saw no one. "Other two o'clock" she hissed. He looked the other way, there coming towards them was a tall, all American asshole in Armani.

"See him?" She asked, he could hardly respond as she slid her hand across his and intertwined their fingers. "He's the kind of ex that means if you play along I'll do what ever you want."

"That my dear is a dangerous proposition." He replied smiling and adjusting more towards her; he moved his hand to be on top, it nearly hid all of hers from view. Shortly after the ex was upon them. She gave his hand a little squeeze before standing.

"Liza" the man schmoozed; Don noted that both he and Elizabeth - Iris stiffened as the man spoke. After the New York greeting of air kisses the ex said,

"It's been too long, Liza. How fabulous to see you." It was clear Farmer didn't agree. The man didn't notice however, he quickly moved to sizing up Don.

"Liza darling, won't you introduce us? _Yes Liza darling, whose body will Mac and Stella be processing if he doesn't go away very soon._

"Noah, this is Don Flack. Don – Noah Prescott." The men shook hands as if they were performing niceties before a duel. The look in Don's blue eyes was so intense that Noah should've been dead. Unfortunately looks couldn't kill.

"Noah and I attended Dowd together." Don knew this but Noah didn't know Don did. A sardonic smile spread over his think lips.

"So diplomatic in saying we slept together. For a while I knew every intimate detail of your life, then I lost track of you. You went to Georgetown, right…" Don didn't know what if anything Noah said after that, his brain kicked into full rage suppressant at that point and the only thing he was aware of was the itch in his fingers that longed to kill the ex. They actually slept together what had she been thinking? Dear God, don't tell him she liked assholes.

"You might look back fondly on those days; I was really unimpressed – found nothing there to commit to memory." She replied carelessly in presentation, deadly in intent. Don chocked back a laugh. _That's my girl._

"Perhaps if you had stayed this would be a different conversation." Smug bastard.

"We both seemed to have interests else where." She kept her chill up full force, Don was frost bitten as a bystander.

"Aw yes law, helping people – Pro _Bono_ Publico. How's that going for you?' He clearly thought with distain of public servants.

"Better than the stint I spent in your world; corporations ripping out my soul. Although I suppose you're more immune to that."

"Careful Liza, Don't want _Ron_ knowing about that ice water blood on a first date." Don had had quite enough; he was around her waist and pulled her close. Her body jig - sawed perfectly with his.

"More of a celebration than a first date." Don said smiling of the look on the bastards face.

"Actually kept a guy longer than a week Liza?"

"Hopefully a lot longer, Iris and I are engaged." Don's announcement had both the ex's and Farmer's jaw dropped. He just hoped Elizabeth – Iris was a good actress.

"My, my Liza, who ever would've thought; what a perfect reason to be here." Prescott went from smug to shock in sixty seconds.

"So Noah, what brings you to The Ivies, celebrating wife four, the divorce of wife three, or creating the grounds for divorce three?"

"What are you implying Liza?" Elizabeth – Iris nodded back to the bar, a dye job blonde in a micromini red dress stood impatiently watching their every move. Noah followed her indication and shot the blonde a cocky grin before turning back to them.

"I'm drinking to my now ex wife's health… and I hate to drink alone." Elizabeth – Iris sipped her martini with a cutting twinkle in her eye.

"If you don't hurry back to her you might end up by yourself, a tragedy that would be." She said sarcastically.

"I'll take the cue to leave. Good to see you again my dear Liza." He said nodding to her before turning to him, "Watch her tongue Sean." And with that he left, returning to his micromini clad date. Don and Elizabeth – Iris remained for a moment still as if Noah was still there. Don looked down at her.

"You wanna get outta here?" He asked. She sagged into him defeated. Her dark head nodded yes, yet her eyes couldn't meet his.

"Sorry about that." She said embarrassed.

When she bought their drinks se gave him a look that suggested castration if he thought otherwise about who paid. Noah was nowhere to be found, until;

"Not leaving because of me are you?" He called out as they reached the door. Don took her hand defensively. If he were a dog, not a man, he would've growled and barked, 'MINE!'

"Oh no… Don just got paged. On call and such." Her lie was quick on its feet. Noah blinked.

"You're a doctor?"

"Detective." Don replied moving his suit jacket to reveal his badge on his belt. They left her ex in stunned silence. He didn't drop her hand as they headed out into the early darkness. As they walked the block to the place they parked the car Don spoke,

"After that I could go for some ice cream."

"Ice cream?!" Elizabeth – Iris repeated surprised. "It's too bloody cold for ice cream Don."

"It can never be 'too bloody cold' for ice cream Iris." He replied. Why he called her Iris he didn't know it had popped out at the bar as well. His thoughts on the subject were halted however by her shiver. He separated their hands momentarily so that he could remove her jacket and give it to her.

"No really Don, you'll get cold, I'm already numb, don't worry about it." She protested but he thrust the jacket over her shoulders anyway.

"I don't feel the cold, I'm a New Yorker. Now put that on properly." She sighed and muttered something about region and ego but she slipped her arms through the sleeves. She wasn't swimming so much as drowning in his jacket as they got into the car. It was huge on her, hanging well past her knees and hands. But once she got past the fit she found it was warm from his body and smelled like him. It was as if he was holding her instead of his jacket. A bit unnerving to feel such cuddle power when for the last few years she was as independent as Thomas Jefferson's declaration. Don slid behind the wheel and stole a glance at her in the rearview mirror before starting the engine. She looked ridiculous, it was the sort of absurdity that was so endearing and utterly sex that it made him burn with desire, just a touch would satisfy him. But he kept his hand to himself as he set the car's wheels in motion towards the ice cream parlor he wanted to take her to.

The neon sign proclaimed proudly 'I Scream' with an open mouth as a logo. Don held the door for her and the ghost of his hand on the small of her back; she stepped into the retro black white and red parlor, not seeing anything, too enamored with the poltergeist of his fingers on her back. Don led her up to the counter where a fuchsia haired girl stood smiling at him.

"Hey Bex, put me onto that road to true love…" he said smiling at the youth; the girl looked at her, taking in her jacket but saying nothing about it. Elizabeth – Iris looked at the mouth board and quickly picked something.

"Hot under the collar; an aphrodisiac ice cream?" It was a question and a request.

"It's really good." The girl said before beginning to dish up the orders.

"But does it work?" Elizabeth – Iris questioned playfully wiggling her eye brows at Don who chocked on her words. She just smiled and followed him to the register, digging in her bag as she went. Don noticed however and grabbed her seeking hand.

"I've got this one." He told her looking her in the eye. She couldn't argue with those blue eyes.

Don paid for the dishes and led her to an open booth. He had a waffle cone that could double as a traffic cone full of Rocky Road ice cream; she was given a slightly smaller bowl of chocolate covered strawberry ice cream and a bawdy grin. She smiled back and took a large spoon full and ate it, turning the spoon over and seductively pulling it out of her mouth. He burst into laughter and she followed, though she quickly turned pensive.

"I'm sorry about Noah." She said quietly, almost embarrassed. He wondered why she would ever be with a man like that but he didn't voice his confusion, he just brushed it off.

"It's not a problem." He told her.

"Nobody should have to put up with him who doesn't have to." She told him.

"You don't have to either." He replied.

"I lie in the grave I dug." It was a tone of voice he was unused to, no humor or smile in it, cold and impersonal was something he thought her incapable of. She diverted her eyes as a tint of pink spread over her cheeks. There was an embarrassed silence.

"You must be at a loss," she said voice soft with embarrassment, "as to why I spent those months with him." He was, but he also wasn't about to admit it.

"I don't judge." Don felt his heart flutter like a rollercoaster drop.

"Noah Prescott was the richest, most popular guy at Dowd and the biggest mistake of my life. I am Charlotte Simmons." He reached across the table and took her jacket covered hand in his.

"Forget regret or life is yours to miss." He told her mesmerized by her eyes; his words brought sparks of laughter to them.

"No day but today." She replied. "Who dragged you to RENT?"

"Nobody, I bought the tickets of my own accord."

"I would'a never pegged you as a RENThead." She told him flat out.

"I'm not really, I mean it's a good play for a musical but I'm no crazy person… But you can't live in this city and not go to Broadway." It was an honest answer and she chuckled.

"RENT was the most masculine thing at the time, eh?" She quipped; his hand was still on hers as he laughed.

"Pretty much."

"You don't deserve tickets with that attitude. The closest I've been to Broadway was Broadway, Saint Louis."

"That won't do, we'll need to remedy that ASAP." She smiled again; he tightened his grip on her fingers as tingles sped through him, his ice cream was forgotten. The moment passed however, he felt her hand move and reluctantly let it go.

"You come here often?" She stated more than questioned.

"Every Saturday with my Y basketball league." Don replied nodding.

"You coach? That's so…" The joy in her face added fuel to his fire, she was too cynical about the world.

"Don's Devils."

It was a quarter to eleven when Elizabeth – Iris and Don finally left the parlor. He walked her back that night reluctant and sad; he had had more fun with her on a non date than any real date he'd been on in years.

* * *

1 I know this is in the Village but seeing how I've never been near New York state I know nothing more than that. 


	12. Which Side of The Bed?

In Hoxie We Trust

* * *

Disclaimer: I own my sense of reality; actual reality is out of my hands.

* * *

Chapter Eleven: The Morning After

When Elizabeth – Iris stepped into the living room she had to clamp her mouth shut over a whoop. Entwined on the couch was the sleeping bodies of Danny and Lindsay. She was cuddled into him, he was holing her tight. Digging out her phone she snapped a few pictures before dialing Don.

"Miss me already?" he joked by way of greeting.

"Ya gotta see this." She told him, he was by her side in no time.

"Isn't it precious?" she whispered. "Makes me want'ta gag." He chuckled softly.

"Danny keeps spare clothes in his truck…"

"Are you thinking of 'Gas lighting' them?"

"Aren't you?" he looked down at her, she looked up at him, they both smiled.

"I'll get his bag." Don said turning for the door quickly.

"They're gunna kill us." Don turned back around.

"Not if they don't find us," a beat. "Grab a bad, we'll hid at my place." With that he left her stunned as he headed for Danny's Tahoe. _You don't have an extra bed dumbass, you already can't find any metal peace from her and she's gunna sleep on your sheets. Real smart._ His mind had caught up with is words, but it was too late.

Elizabeth – Iris had no idea what she was doing as she silently packed her toiletries and make up. Stay at Don's? Talk about compromising situations, she was going out of her mind.

Danny's bag was left under his coat, his keys replaced, no trace of Elizabeth – Iris or Don was left.

"What should I think of about this overnight bag of Danny's, hmm?" Farmer asked back in the truck.

"Technically its and emergency bag, everyone in the NYPD has one." Don corrected her.

"Right, he just has multiple purposes for it."

"In the past maybe, but not in the last several months." Since Lindsay came was unspoken. The rest of the ride was silent.

Don's apartment was midsized and pleasant looking fifteen minutes of light traffic east of Lindsay's. He parked in an assigned spot and led her to the awning covered front door. Don addressed the doorman warmly as they walked by.

"Charlie was on the force with my dad." Don explained as he took her bag and motioned to the 'please use stairs' sign on the elevator.

"You bleed NYPD blue, huh?" she asked as they began their assent.

"Fifth generation. I once got my mouth washed out for suggesting a career in the NYFD." Elizabeth – Iris laughed, Don smiled.

Apartment 8J was the sort of inoffensive bachelor pad never seen on TV but always in real life. Creatively cluttered and deliciously mismatched; it felt like Don, it felt like home. She tried vainly not to stare at her surroundings as he began turning on the lights and shedding his shoes and tie.

"Bedroom on the left, bathroom on the right. Do you want something to eat, drink, do you just want to change and go to bed or what…" he clearly had never formally entertained a woman at his place before.

"I don't want anything thanks, but don't let that stop you. I'm going to get out of the panty hose of death and then try to not cramp your style too much." _I highly doubt she'll cramp my style, other things, I can't promise. _He thought watching her hips sway as she turned down his hall.

"Don," she called seconds later, "You only have one bedroom."

"Good God, it was there this morning." He replied in mock shock, for the first time it hit him how presumptuous he looked at the moment. Bringing her there knowing there was only one bedroom. Sure he wanted to sleep with her but not in such a manor. He was an ass sometimes. She reappeared shortly dressed in a red tartan robe, faded black sweatpants, and shark slippers; she sat her over night bag by the couch. He looked at the bag,

"What's this?" He asked.

"I'll sleep on the couch." She told him.

"Not if I'm there." Elizabeth – Iris blinked.

"Don, you're over six feet tall, how the hell are you going to fit on the couch?"

"I insist." He replied picking up her bag. "Now go put this in the bedroom." She took the bag,

"No, I insist." She set the bag down again. He picked it up again. She took it out of his hands and sat it down again. He reached for it again; she moved to stop him, their heads met in the middle.

"Ow." Don said rubbing the spot where he had clocked himself on her. Elizabeth – Iris was preoccupied with something else.

"Connect Four? I love Connect Four." She had spotted his game collection.

"Tell you what," Don said walking over to pick up the game. "Whoever wins gets to pick where they sleep."

"You're so going down." She gleefully told him plopping down on the floor in front of the coffee table.

"I wouldn't put any money on that." Don replied. "You sure you don't want something to drink?" He asked heading towards his kitchen.

"I'm sure." She opened the box on the childhood classic. Don returned shortly with his work shirt unbuttoned reveling his tight white undershirt. But his hotness was soon turned to utter cuteness as she realized he was drinking out of a juice box.

"A juice box Don?" she asked raising a brow at the very little boy masquerading as a man.

"I like juice." He replied.

"I'm very happy for you," she laughed, "red or black?"

"Black." He swept the dark chips over to his side of the table and folded himself up on the floor, his knees were up by his ears as he kept the little juice box straw in his mouth. He looked like a little boy. Elizabeth – Iris's chuckle turned into a snorting laugh at the sight on him. Un - phased Don dropped his first piece into the rack.

"Good God that looks awkward." She commented putting a red chip on the opposite side of the board. He shrugged the comment off.

"Ain't too bad."

"You're going to have a hellacious knot in your back going into work tomorrow." She commented as he put another disk in the game.

"I'm hopefully not going into work tomorrow, on call all day." He replied.

"Just watch, you've jinxed yourself." She said he was pensive for a moment as he planned his block.

"How much of New York have you seen?" he asked sliding his black chip next to her red.

"Total or with Lindsay?" she asked blocking his block.

"Total."

"I've seen the standard touristy things, Times Square back when it was seedy, Stature of Liberty and Ellis Island, Guggenheim, stuff my parents wanted to see/ would allow me to see. Then there's also what I've seen since I came this time, the upper west side, Soho and Tribeca, Macy's, Saks, Bloomingdale's downtown, your office. Lindsay promised to show me the rest on her first free day."

"I'll take you around." He told her.

"You don't have to…"

"Go with Lindsay and you'll see New York as a tourist, come with me and you'll see New York as a New Yorker." He told her dropping in a winning disk. "Connect Four, you get the bedroom."

"What? Where?" She couldn't miss the diagonal that his gorgeous finger was pointing out.

"Will you come seen New York with me?" He asked as her eyes lifted from her defeat.

"Oh alright, I really can't turn down a personal tour can I?" she said.

"No you can't." He replied.

"Best two out of three?"

She won the second game; she cheated (sort of) but won. Mid way through he had spotted the perfect block but she detruded his hand by taking off her robe. 'Want to get off…' her black shirt questioned. His hand slipped and dropped the disk in a different column.

"What?" he spluttered. She smiled and turned around, the back of her shirt read, 'Campus?'

"The summer after we graduated we all lived off campus at Sylvan Apartments; they sold these shirts as advertising. We thought they were hilarious."

"That was very sneaky." He told her dumping out the disks for the tie breaking game.

She lost.

"You bedroom, no arguments." He told her in a he man voice that caused her to burst into laughter.

"Alright, alright I'll try this whole submission thing." She told him. "Do you need anything out of there?" He tossed his juice box into the trash and made a quick run through of his bedroom as the clock struck twelve.

"Good night Don." Elizabeth – Iris wished him as he tucked himself into the makeshift bed on the couch.

"G'night Iris, see you in the morning." She smiled as she headed down the hall and crawled into his bed. He was the only one to ever call her Iris.


	13. Dream with the Angels

In Hoxie We Trust

* * *

Disclaimer: I own my sense of reality; actual reality is out of my hands.

* * *

Chapter Twelve: Dream with the Angels

_The bomb sent him flying back through a wall. He could feel every piece of shrapnel pierce his body, tearing at his insides and letting his blood pump out of him. He was going to die. He was dying, if he wasn't dead already. He didn't want to die; it wasn't fair he wanted to live._

Don Flack sat up screaming and disoriented, where was he? Bleary eyed and high on adrenaline he looked about, his chest rising and falling like he ran a marathon.

"Don?" a voice called to him. "Don?" It was a very scared looking Elizabeth – Iris. She looked like an angel as she gathered him in her arms. Her hair engulfed them as she rocked him in her embrace, he sagged against her. It was just a dream, only a nightmare. He was alive.

"It wasn't real." She assured him as they separated, she perched beside him.

"I know that." He told her now embarrassed. He should be over the dreams by now.

"Do you want anything?" she inquired with concern, she wanted to help him.

"Just forget I woke you up. I'm sorry." He told her. "Go back to bed."

"I'll sleep on the couch, you should relax in more familiar settings." She said standing up.

"It's my house."

"How used to seeing the living room at three am are you? Come on," she said, "Don't make me resort to force." She tried joking; he couldn't help but respond his heart beat was back in time. That didn't affect his pride however.

"That's not necessary Iris, really." He told her.

"I know nightmares, I say it is." There was a 'just try to argue' tone in her voice, he conceded.

"Alright you win." He said and got off his sofa. "Good night again."

An hour later he was still awake, unable to sleep, not for lack of trying. He couldn't get over the venerable emotions filling him like a deadly tide. There was a knock on his ajar door.

"How'd you know I was still up?"

"Light's on." She pointed to his lamp. "Can I come in?"

"Knock yourself out." She padded across the room to sit next to him on the double bed.

"Still sure you're alright?" she asked, not prying but still caring.

"I thought I was over this, that's all." He told her.

"The bombing?" she asked quietly.

"Yeah." He said rubbing his face.

"There's no shame in being scared or emotional."

"I know."

"Then maybe you should lose the New York image and practice it?" he laughed.

"So much for warm fuzzies."

"Tough love works more efficiently sometimes." She told him. His smile was real, but not connected to the rest of his body. He was wound tighter than a nit.

"No wonder you can't sleep," she said touching his arm, feeling his tense muscles. "You're tighter than a pair of 1980s Vanderbilt jeans. Lay down." She told him. He looked at her; she grabbed one of the pillows and put it across her lap. "Lay down," she repeated "You're wound too tight and I'm contracting your tension, you need to relax." He obeyed.

"What are you going to do?" he asked, head in her lay.

"Shut up and close your eyes." She told him.

"Such tranquility." He quipped. She laughed and paused. For a time she just looked at him. He was too handsome to be interested in her. Don Flack was a twelve on a scale of ten. On a very good day she was a seven.

"You gunna do anything, or is this it?" he asked snapping her out of her admiration. Lightly she brushed aside his hair. She then began to trace his face. Her finger was feather light as she drew it across his forehead, across his cheeks and around his jaw. She traced the shell of his ear and the line of his hair. His eyebrows were strong lines, his lips soft ones. She wanted to have the perfect memorized picture of him in her mind to carry with her forever. It was a strong emotion, she should be scared of it, but it was too strong for fear. That in itself was scary. Don slowly began to respond to her touch. The lines of his face loosened and disappeared. His chest, clad in his undershirt of the day fell into a rhythm of sleep breathing, her work was done, but she didn't move. He was content and she was enamored. She knew she had to go back to the couch but she couldn't make herself. Instead she pulled the covers up around him and leaned back against the headboard.

Sun streaming through the blinds woke her the next morning. She was in Flack's bedroom still… so was Flack. Soft breathing in her ear and strong arms around her waist told her that she was not alone. Some time in the night the managed to become spoons. She definitely needed to be freaked out. She should be across the room at this very second embarrassed and apologizing, but she wasn't. She was in fact more at peace than she had ever been before when it came to mornings. Making a decision she closed he eyes and went back to sleep.

Don sighed with relief as he felt Elizabeth – Iris fall back to sleep. She fit with him like a puzzle piece, the perfect height difference to spoon. He didn't want to loose that feeling of completion. He wasn't the spooning type, as a drunk Marty would say, "Spooning's great, but forking's better." But something about spooning with Farmer made all other acts pale in comparison. He inhaled deeply from her crown and snuggled a bit more before falling back into Hypnoses hands himself.

Lindsay's ring tone woke Elizabeth – Iris the second time. Don was still locked with her, his giraffe legs tight around her own. Farmer groped the nightstand for her cell; she had laid it out just in case Lindsay called. Finding it she flipped the cover open, before it got to her ear she could hear Lindsay,

"WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?" the shout made Farmer startle and fall off the bed. Flack's legs kept her lower half with him, but the upper half and the sheets landed in an ungraceful clump striking her left shoulder on the table in the process. The hiss of German obscenities didn't detour Lindsay.

"WELL WHERE ARE YOU?" Elizabeth – Iris cautiously put the phone to her ear.

"My ears are bleeding Lindsay." She said dryly.

"Who cares, I'm itching to make you bleed right now." Lindsay snapped.

"Hey, you put yourself in that sleeping arrangement, I didn't." Farmer replied pulling her legs from Flack's and sitting up. Lindsay fumed silently on the other end of the line. She was pissed off at herself, but Elizabeth – Iris was the devil on her shoulder and the catch all for blame.

"Where'd you go with the sheets?" Don's voice asked as he sleepily fumbled about for her and the covers. Lindsay heard him. _Oh shit!_ Was all Farmer had time to think before Lindsay exploded.

"WAS THAT DON? WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH HIS SHEETS?" She probably could be heard back in Montana.

"Lindsay!" Elizabeth – Iris tried, "Lindsay! LINDSAY!" Eventually the Montanan fell silent. Don was now awake and looking down from the bed at her sprawled state. She felt her face flush.

"We did as much as you and Danny last night. Now I'm sure you guys have work soon so you should get around. I'll see you tonight." Lindsay tried to speak, and Danny questioned her in the background, but Farmer cut them off.

"Love you. Bye – bye." And she snapped the phone shut.

"Great timing there Donny." She quipped scowling playfully. He cracked up; she smacked him lightly but joined him.

"You shower first and I'll make breakfast, what do you want?"

"You sure you don't want to take all my hot water first and I cook?" he replied. She brushed the question off.

"How do you take your eggs?" Stretching and a yawn delayed the response of 'I'm not picky.' She smiled and threw on her robe and slippers before leaving him to get around. So domestic like. He felt his half hard friend stir. _Hey_ he scolded it _none of that._

Don's kitchen like the rest of his apartment was comfortable but obviously single and male. Not one of his dishes matched another and his fridge had lovely storage space. She found eggs and a lot of meat, and not much else. At least everything was fresh. Finding a frying pan was the hard part, she got the distinct feeling he was a cereal kind of guy. Eventually she found what she was looking for, under a dead potted plant. She began to tie back her hair and roll up her sleeves.

"Don, Don, Don, Don, Don…"

"What?" He asked from behind her, making her turn sharply. The sight of him made her reach for support. His dark hair was still slightly damp from his shower and the sent of his soap was still about him. He was barefoot; matching his casual naked toes was a pair of charcoal slacks and an incredibly soft looking cerulean sweater. It brought out his eyes and made him look beyond fine; she nearly came where she stood.

"Well?" he asked waiting for a response. _Brain… hello time to function. Anybody home… Hello?_ Eventually her thoughts returned from la la dirty land. She handed him the pan.

"Wash this." She told him. He moved to the sink and she went to the gas stove. She turned on the burner, nothing. Shutting it off again she asked,

"When was the last time you cooked?"

"Uh…" he had to think.

"Never mind, where's your matches?" he handed her a matchbook from 'The Skinny Puppy'. She shook her head again and returned to the stove. She turned the gas on low and struck a match to relight the burner. POOF! The gas grabbed the match and sent loud flames springing up.

"Scheiße!" She exclaimed jumping back in surprise. Flack steadied her as she clutched her wildly beating heart and took several deep breaths. Don looked her over thoroughly for injuries before he shut off the gas. Eventually Elizabeth – Iris managed to speak,

"Why don't we go out for breakfast?"

"Good Idea."

Don's bathroom was on the small side, not tiny but certainly not roomy. It had a pedestal sink, medicine cabinet, toilet and bathtub with feet and what looked like a halo holding a New York Jets shower curtain. If the avocado stove wasn't an apartment age tip off, the shower was. Dumping her bad on the floor by the door she put the towels he gave her on the closed toilet seat and turned on the water. As she was surrounded by the blue of the curtain she wondered how he could have shower sex. There was no wall to brace against for leverage… she quickly added more cold water to her shower. _None of that._ She scolded herself.

Don sat on his bed putting on his shoes trying to decide where to take Farmer for a New York breakfast. Greta's was the best place in the world, but it was sort of understood and unwritten that he'd only bring his wife to the place.

"Love unrequited, robs me of me rest," Elizabeth – Iris's poor cockney accent was audible over the running water and closed door, "Love, hopeless love, my ardent soul encumbers, Love, nightmare like, lies heavy of me chest, and weaves itself into my midnight slumbers." As she sung he decided that Greta's was no longer off limits.

Shortly after Farmer began she was done. Thank God she had packed decent clothing. New York was a fashion Mecca, if she was going to be seen, she needed to look decent. Somebody up there was looking out for her image. She plugged in her hair dryer and set about her primping routine, in under fifteen minutes she was clean, dry, and made up. Don was sitting at his pathetic kitchen table drinking coffee and reading the New York Times. He didn't notice her approach.

"I almost couldn't use your shower." She told him sitting down on the other side of the table. He jumped.

"What? Why?" he asked.

"The Jets? Come on man, have some taste. The Seahawks are where it's at." The worried expression changed to laughter.

"You did not just say that." She joined in his mirth and they laughed for a long time.

"Ready to go?" he eventually asked.

"If you are." She replied standing, it was the first time he noticed her shoes, her high heel shoes.

"Not keen on walking are we?" he asked putting his mug in the sink. She was confused for a moment before looking down, her crimson lips formed an 'O'.

"These are comfy, don't worry." She said, he rolled his eyes.

"Riiiggghtt." She blew him a raspberry and grabbed her purse heading for the door.

You comin'?" she asked looking over her shoulder. It was unintentional but insanely attractive. Don tried not to salivate, pitch a tent, or do anything else equally embarrassing. With a hand on the small of her back he led the way to her personal guided NYC tour.

The café he took her to for breakfast was so tiny that she never in a million years would've seen it with out Don, who seemed to be a favorite regular. It was called Greta Green's and was where the colors mixed, blending from one neighborhood to another, giving the tiny establishment a colorful cliental was only two tings in common, the dinner and knowing Don. As soon as he set foot in the door he was greeted enthusiastically in a very 'Hi Norm' sort of way.

"Hi Don." The old woman behind the counter nearly trampled people as she rushed to greet him.

"So happy to see you Donny, so happy and you brought a girl, my, my what a lucky day, you're the first one he's ever brought here dear. And you're so pretty, Donny I've never seen you do better…" The old woman rambled in a high New York accent.

"Greta… Greta…" Don said cutting her off. "Can we eat?"

"Oh yes of course dear, right this way." Greta showed them to a corner booth by the front window.

"Nice lady." Elizabeth – Iris commented after Greta finally left them alone.

"Sorry about her." Don apologized, "She's a friend of my grandmother's."

"And really likes you. Now I'm worried; I won't measure up for you. What should I order to make a good impression?" Don laughed.

"I'm the one not measuring up to you." He said quietly, _you're too damn beautiful for me._

"Don I'm wearing four inch Leopard print heels, you're 'Donny', I'm a tart." She told him flipping open her menu.

"Iris, we're New Yorkers, we're not known for our tact. If you looked like a whore we'd tell you. You look fine." She looked more than fine. Those four inch heels brought his eyes up the back of her deliciously slightly too tight flares to rest on her perfectly sculpted butt. Her top was an understated red tank that matched her pips and highlighted her great upper body. Over the lust inducing outfit she wore a classic trench and her hair half up half down. She looked good. He realized he was staring just as she realized that she was as well, they both flushed.

"So what should I get?" she asked.

"The French toast is phenomenal." He replied. She quickly looked it up.

"So Flack, the usual?" another New York accent asked. The waitress, had she not been six or seven months pregnant could've passed as a wholesome thirteen year old. But given her current condition she looked older.

"Please." Don confirmed handing over his never opened menu.

"And what about your friend?" Don looked at her,

"Iris?"

"I have to try this 'phenomenal' French toast for myself." She said smiling at the mommy to be and handing over her menu.

"You won't be disappointed." Don boasted.

"I'll hold you to that." She replied smiling.

"Have I ever led you astray?"

"As of yet, no. But things could change."

"O ye of little faith." Greta soon came with coffee.

"Donny" She said handing him a full mug, "And I'm sorry I can't recall if I got your name."

"Elizabeth – Iris." Farmer said flushing.

"Pretty name for a pretty girl. Were you named for your eyes? They're the most amazing color I've ever seen." Farmer's color got darker.

"Thank you. The eyes are a coincidence; Iris was my great aunt's name… or something."

"Well no matter, your name still fits you." And with that Greta left them to their coffee. Don sipped hi for a moment before saying,

"I've called you Iris more than anything else with out thinking about it."

"I don't mind, I've never been called Iris before. I sort of like it. You'd be the only one using it." He'd be the only one, he liked that. He wouldn't mind being the only one in lots of things.

Don had been right about the French toast. Over good food and conversation Farmer was thoroughly enjoying herself. The discussed their sight seeing game plan over the meal. They'd hit the old capitol and Wall Street first and work towards more frivolous as the day wore on, provided he didn't get called. The check came and she instinctively reached for it, but he caught her hand and held it.

"Not on your life anywhere, but certainly not here." He told her in a low voice. She removed her hand like a puppy with its tail between its legs.

"Mea Copula."

"I'd say a woman paying here is a cardinal sin and then some." He said smiling.

"So," Elizabeth – Iris began as Flack pulled into traffic. "Oh guide of my heart where are we going first?' he faltered on 'guide of my heart' but recovered quickly.

"I'm going to park at the lab, then we're catching a cab and I as thinking of starting at the financial district and work our way back." He told her before looking at her shoes. "If you can make it."

"You think I can't do it." She challenged.

"I _know_ you can't do it." He replied drawing his verbal foil.

"Oh it's on. I bet you I can go the whole walk without once complaint or one taxi that you don't need."

"What do I get when I win?" Flack asked. _A kiss maybe?_ A guy could hope.

"Who says you'll win?" she countered, then paused. "If you win I have to take you to a meal and activity of your choice."

"If you win?"

"Which I will. You have to take me to a meal and activity of my choice."

"You're on." Either way it was a dinner date, who cared about picking a restaurant?" they shoot on it. He parked the car shortly there after he led her with a large, firm hand on her back to the prime spot to catch a cab.

"Prepare to loose." He told her as a yellow chariot appeared. Game on.

"Bring it bitch."

Like a movie montage they did the financial district, people like ants moved blindly around them as they stood still and watched. They stood together trying to not be in the way as they looked at the stature to an old dead white guy.

"Is that George or Al?" she asked him looking up at he bronze figure, Don looked own at her, God she was pretty.

"I have no idea." He told her from a half dream state.

"What good are you then?" she asked, playfully he cuffed her. "Let's get a picture and move on." She said, from her bag she pulled a disposable camera.

"Way to be a tourist, Iris." He commented sarcastically.

"Oh shut up, what are you gunna show me next?" he mocked her as she took a photo of the stock exchange and laughed as she talked about her first rodeo as they watched some Iowan ride the charging bull. He turned to led her to a side street and catch a cab to go to the heart of Broadway; he really wasn't going to make her walk. But as soon as they were more than an inch of space between them a crowd separated them.

"Iris" Don called, "Iris?" she wasn't with him. He paused and looked around for her. His height should be an advantage in spotting her, but her height negated everything, he now understood why parents were so paranoid about their little ones staying close. He knew where he was, but she was as clueless as Sarah Michelle Geller. Then someone flung themselves on him with a call of "Hiiiiyaaah!" She wrapped her arms around his middle and laid her forehead on the space below his shoulder blades; he laughed and hugged behind him.

"You had me going there for a second Gidget I couldn't see you for the normal sized people." Elizabeth – Iris replied with a Heimlich like maneuver to the lower part of his stomach she had latched around. He laughed again and spun in her embrace, his hands folded in the middle of her back and his belt buckle was at her navel.

"I'm serious, I don't want to loose you." He said pulling away before entwining their fingers and adding, "Lindsay would have my balls on a pike." Farmer snorted.

"Lets go, after last night's gaslight we're on stolen time." Like an eager little girl she pulled him along in the direction she thought would take them to Broadway. If time with her was stolen he'd be the blackest of thieves.

He had never walked holding hands before. Over the age of five no one walked hand in hand with him. It was a new sensation, a pleasant new sensation. Walking with her hand in his was the most intimate thing he had ever done, and he had reached for her.

As they walked the great white way they received several looks of envy from both men and women, Don felt his pride swell. Back off, she's off limits. _Mine!_ He mentally growled. _Donald _he then shouted at himself. _She's not yours_. But damn he wanted her to be.

Elizabeth – Iris was giddy. Absolutely, in excusably giddy, if his hand wasn't anchoring hers, she'd be flying. The way it was she was close to air born. Their height difference made her feel like a side kick chimp hanging off her performance master. But she didn't care, he flipped her switches, and she wasn't the only one. Most every woman was green eyed with envy, and so were some of the men. She moved closer to him. _Mine._ She hissed cattily in her mind, and then chided herself, he wasn't hers at all. Damnit.

Times Square much to mixed emotional reviews was a total 180 from what she remembered. Elizabeth – Iris looked around in wonder.

"That used to be the 'Ass, ass, titty, titty, ass, ass' place." She said pointing to an I heart NY store/ info place.

"We've matured." Don replied.

"You've hidden it better." Elizabeth – Iris countered.

"Cynic."

"And proud baby." They laughed and walked on. A little while later they managed to wonder down to FAO Schwartz. The excited look on Elizabeth – Iris' face was priceless.

"Can we go in Don, can we? Please? Please…" she begged. Don laughed and agreed. Without a second lost she pulled him into the gigantic toy store. Her eyes were bright and large as she stared in amazement at the splendor around them. She was better than a kid at Christmas. She was legal. Don couldn't help but feel one of his heart's safety nets be sliced, allowing his heart more freedom to fall in love.

The only other couples in the store had a little one present in someway, from pregnant to five, assessing Don and Iris in context would put them as married and expecting. Don rather liked the idea of them expecting. Their son would have a lot of dark hair. Robert was a good name. Robert Flack. Wait what if it was a girl? Roberta… Nhaw. _Wait, what if you're crazy? She's not pregnant. You're not married, you haven't eve had sex yet. Hell, you've never kissed. Pregnancy is insane. _He told himself over and over again.

The stuffed animal section was a plethora of glee. Elizabeth – Iris wanted it all. Everything was so cute. Looking at children's playthings kept her from looking with satisfaction at the pregnant/ recently pregnant women eyeing Flack. He was with her. And everyone was assuming they were a couple, a pregnant coming even. Baby Flack. Their baby. _I like the name Bennett for a boy. _She thought. _Holy shit! Stop that train of thought before it gets any further from the station! Thinking about what sex would be like with him doesn't get me pregnant. First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the baby in the baby carriage. _She scolded herself. She got her mind back on task; did she want a tiger, dog, or bear?

An hour later Elizabeth – Iris had made her decision and they were exiting the store with the affectionately named Schwartz the Dog and a giant lollypop.

"Thirty something dollars seems kinda steep for a toy." She said digging into the bag for her candy.

"What are you going to do with that anyway?" Don asked.

"Sleep with it." She replied tossing the lolly wrapper back into the bag.

"Sleep with it?" Don scoffed. "It's not going to protect you." _Like I could, sleep with me._

"Don't make fun of me or I won't let you lick my lolly." She said licking the multicolored sugary disk. Sweet Jesus that was dirty. Flack was blessedly called away by his cell. HE flipped it open with one hand; with the other he took her hand.

"Flack." He said to the phone.

"419 Upper East side. Sorry to call you in." Mac told him.

"No problem Mac, I'll be over ASAP." Flack said about ready to hang up but Mac continued.

"Lindsay wants Farmer returned and Danny has some questions about your sheets." Detective Taylor's normally slightly chilly work persona was warmed by a laugh. Work was going to suck.

"See you soon." Flack hung up and looked down at his walking companion.

"That was Mac." He told her.

"You need to be going then." She said, it was a passive, understanding response. One he wanted from every other woman but her. He wanted her to fight for more time, he wanted to. But she knew cops and CSIs too well.

"I'm sorry to cut the day short." He apologized.

"Me too, but crime never sleeps." She said pulling the sucker out of her mouth.

"Pity." He said they had to part ways. He hailed a cab and opened the door for her.

"Lindsay demands your return." He told her. She paused before getting in.

"I had a really nice time today Don. Thank You." He was about to reply 'Me too.' When she stood on tip toe and kissed his cheek leaving sticky sugar and lipstick in her wake before taking the taxi. Don watched the yellow cab disappear into New York, as it left his hand came to his cheek.

* * *

_AN: Happy Non - D__enominational Winter Holiday! Much love and peace for the upcoming year.  
Love,  
Streakie_


	14. For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraf

In Hoxie We Trust

* * *

Disclaimer: I own my sense of reality; actual reality is out of my hands.

_AN: Yes, I'm still alive, it's a wonder sometimes but I am still here. Sorry for such a delay school is a little crazy, finished one thing started ten. and of course my muse left me, but I'll try my best to go on with out her. Anyway, thank you for staying with me.  
Much love,  
Streakie_

* * *

Chapter Thirteen: For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft

Some where deep in her apartment here alarm clock broke the dawn. Lindsay flung out her hand to pound the snooze button, but she did not fine the nightstand. The swing of her arm sent her tumbling to the floor between the sofa and coffee table. Picking herself up off the ground like the hardwood was lava. Checking to see if anyone saw her pratfall she looked around franticly. She found Danny on her couch roused from his slumber by her bump. He had spent the night. _Oh Shit!_ Lindsay's brain chanted as she looked at him waking up. What had they done? Who saw them? Questions flooded the silent air.

"G'mornin'" Danny yawned getting up slowly, accent thick. Lindsay couldn't speak. "Montana?" Danny asked realizing she was staring like a slack – jawed mouth breather.

"Farmer!" Lindsay hollered, throwing her head back.

"What da hell Montana?" Danny questioned getting off the sofa and stretching.

"We slept together! Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, oh shit." Lindsay turned around tugging at her hair as she searched for signs of Elizabeth – Iris.

"Montana," Danny said, she didn't notice. "Montana. MONTANA!" He grabbed her upper arms and stopped her freak out. "Chill. What's yer deal?" he asked.

"Farmer will have a field day with this… and I have no clue where she is…"

"But Lindsay we didn't do anything." Danny told her, still holing her arms.

"You honestly think she cares what we did or did not do? This is right up her ally." Lindsay looked around fearfully, like little dinky Elizabeth – Iris was going to jump out and get them.

"Calm, Montana, calm." Was al he could think to say. He waned Elizabeth – Iris to think they were together, he wanted to marry Lindsay – if it meant he could, he'd compromise her. Lindsay took a breath, her heavy sigh moved her, and Danny spotted a sign that made his blood pump hot. Flack had been there. By the door, under the coat rack was Danny's 'emergency' bag, his spend the night bag. He knew he didn't bring it, but did Lindsay? Flack was working Jedi mind tricks. Way to be an ass. Lindsay looked at the VCR clock,

"You're gunna be late if you don't leave now." She pulled at her pony tail in worry, Danny took a breath.

"Elizabeth – Iris isn't the only one in the know. Flack was here." Danny said pointing to his bag. Lindsay threw up her hands like a drama queen.

"What the hell is going on here?" she asked.

"Flack dropped off some clothes and stuff… if I can shower here I won't be late." Lindsay paused, clothes, shower, here… Don, Farmer… the world has gone insane.

"Montana?" he asked waiting for an answer.

"Shower first or second?" she finally said. She had joined the madhouse. Danny blinked; he didn't think she'd say yes.

"Uh…" he paused. "I'll make you breakfast, go ahead and shower." She paused; he nodded down the hall, "Go on."

"Do you want to run through before I go in?" she asked, he let her upper arms go and backed away shaking his head.

"Nhaw, just point me in the direction of your food." He said she nodded towards the kitchen.

"Pots and pans hanging over the stove, bowls under the window, dishes in the cabinet next to it, random goods in the other one." She told him. He nodded and headed to make breakfast.

Lindsay leaned against the closed bathroom door and tried to think. She rested her head back against the door and closed her eyes, Danny Messer's naked body would be getting wet in that very shower as soon as she finished. Images filled her head and she shook it trying to dislodge them. The only thing that happened was a head spread to her belly. There were reasons she shouldn't be thinking of Danny the way she was but at that moment she couldn't list a single one. She turned the shower on and undressed leaving her clothing in a heap by the door. Hopping in the shower her mind strayed from her washing regime as her eyes were clouded by a slick Danny Messer with her in the shower, there was one wall with nothing on it but space for sex. God she wanted him. In every way he was a turn on. Physically – how could you argue with a body like that; the arms, the pecks, the abs, THE ass. But he also was there mentally, he was smart, top of his classes, he could use his brain for good (solving the case) or evil (giving her a hard time and snappy comebacks) both stimulated her brain. And then there was general personality, he liked to play around, but he could be serious when it was called for, and he could be so sweet and chivalrous. He held her and comforted her as well as laughed with her and shared with her. Every goddamn thing about him was perfect. She cranked up the cold water in the shower, this was not a romance novel, Danny whatever his middle name was Messer was not her soul mate, did she even believe in a soul mate? Whatever she believed in romantically Danny was not, he couldn't be.

Danny had been in the living room looking at the VCR clock when he caught a fleeting glimpse of a wet Lindsay running across the hall clutching her clothing in nothing but a towel. A wet and naked Lindsay… his gallant streak could not battle his gutter streak and the images stayed in his mind. They shouldn't but they did. He was no good for her, but he couldn't help but want her. As a child he'd look up at the moon and wish he could touch it, it was out of his reach, but it didn't mean he couldn't try. Lindsay was the same way. She was so much better than him, but he could try to be half as good as she was.

More than five but less than ten minutes later Lindsay was in the kitchen.

"Mmmm, smells good, what'd you make?" she asked coming up behind him and looking over his shoulder (well around his bicep since she couldn't see over his shoulder very well.) He felt very domestic as he heated milk in a sauce pan for café lattes with her by his side.

"_Caffellatte _and mini frittatas." Danny told her as he whisked the milk into foam.

"Wow." Lindsay said, "I thought you told me you couldn't cook."

"Couldn't cook like you… we had _cena_ a la Montana, now its _colazione_ a la _Italia_." Danny replied as he hip - checked her away from him so he could pour the steamed milk in with coffee. He handed her a spoon and the cup.

"Stir this." He told her, the over timer went off. He quickly turned around and threw on oven mitts to pull out her muffin trey.

"You were being way too modest my God Danny, this is amazing! Where did you learn all this?"

"Nana made Louie, Corinne, and I all learn how to make a traditional Italian meal every time we would stay with her." Danny told her with a shrug.

"Nobody can escape grandma." Lindsay said knowingly. "Is there anything I can do, I feel bad slacking on you like this."

"There's another trey's worth of frittatas left if you want to put them in for ten minutes, then the milk is easy, just whisk it while it heats and you'll get foam. I'm going to take my shower now if you can handle everything here."

"I think so. Stuff is in the linen closet, should get ya what ever you need." He nodded and scooped up his bag.

Danny dropped his bag on the toilet and closed his eyes. He had to erase some things from his mind, like the intimate room in a house. Lindsay had just been naked in the room, evidence of her shower still hung in the air. He needed to focus on cleaning his own body, not Lindsay's clean body. He opened his eyes and found the linen closet – she had told him to grab what he needed. Girls didn't grasp the concept of one towel, one washcloth, and a bath mat, they needed all sorts of fancy stuff. He opened the door; her towels were neatly folded in bright colors. They were at eye level; below the fluffy terrycloth was a stack of wash clothes, hand towels, mats and other small things. Below that was extra beauty products, unwrapped toilet paper was on the floor, it was the picture of demure single habitation. Then he looked up. _Elexa Stimulating Condoms_, she had some; did she plan on using them – Had she used them? Questions flooded his mind as blood flooded his smaller head.

"Ah, bravo Figaro! Bravo, bravissimo! Bravo! La la la la la la la LA!... V'e la risorsa, poi, de mestiere colla donnetta... col cavaliere... colla donnetta... la la li la la la la la col cavaliere... la la li la la la la la la la LA!!! ... Figaro... Figaro... Figaro... Figaro...Figaro... Figaro... Figaro... Figaro... Figaro...Figaro!!!" Danny's tenor belted out what he could remember of _Largo al factotum_, the bugs bunny style song in silky Italian. He was no Luciano Pavarotti, but it was still sexy, powerful and melting her right into the floor.

Danny emerged completely dressed and styled as Lindsay removed the pan of frittatas from the oven.

"Didn't do so badly after all." Danny said smiling as he wafted the egg, ham, and cheese creations.

"All thanks to you're idiot proof set up." She replied smiling and handing him his coffee. He set it aside and began to pop the frittatas out of the one cool trey.

"Would you inflict serious bodily harm if I put ketchup on these?" She asked sheepishly. "Eggs scream ketchup to me." Danny set aside the pan and shot her a side long glance.

"I thought since you did so well with the cookin' you could be a culture Italian – ya know no blood but all heart. Then you go and say something like that." He pulled a pained face.

"Sorry, habit, it put it on stake too." She told him blushing. He laughed.

"'S alright Montana. I'll go along with your bad habit. Just never mention it when Nana's around." Danny said with a little chuckle, he handed her a plate and they sat down at the small kitchen table. It was a very domestic breakfast. Sitting, eating what they had made together in the kitchen played into his fantasies. Now if only the computer was a kid, then it would be complete.

They ate in almost complete silence, the occasional question like 'how did you sleep?' was present on occasion, but more often than not they were happy with the comfortable silence they shared. They finished eating.

"We have just enough time to clean up here before we go." Danny said looking at his watch.

"You start; I'm going to call Farmer."

"I think she's at Flack's." He told her.

"Lord help us all." She said slipping into the living room. She flipped open her cell. There waiting for her was a picture from last night. Farmer had a death wish. Lindsay punched speed dial, the subsided anger wasn't any more. A few rings later Elizabeth – Iris picked up.

"'Al…" Lindsay didn't let her finish.

"WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?" Lindsay said harshly. There was movement, a thump, and some swearing on the other end, but no answer. "WELL, WHERE ARE YOU?"

"My ears are bleeding Lindsay." Elizabeth – Iris sleepy, sardonic voice replied.

"Who cares I'm itching to make you bleed right now." Lindsay snapped, she was the one with blackmail material right now.

"Hey you put yourself in that sleeping arrangement, I didn't." Elizabeth – Iris countered_. But did you have to take pictures?_ They paused.

"Where'd you go with the sheets?" it was muted in the background but it was Don.

"WAS THAT DON? WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH HIS SHEETS?" She had slept with Don. Un – fucking – believable.

"Lindsay!" Elizabeth – Iris tried, but Lindsay wasn't listening.

"_What_ about Don's sheets?" Danny asked coming out from the kitchen.

"Lindsay! LINDSAY!" Elizabeth – Iris demanded her attention. "We did as much as you and Danny last night. Now I'm sure you guys have work soon so you should get around. I'll see you tonight. Love you. Bye – bye." She hung up on her.

"What the hell was that?" Danny asked, he leaned against the door jam and tossed the dish towel over his shoulder.

"I have no idea, but Don was asking for his sheets back." Lindsay replied. Danny sorted.

"Goddamn."

"What I admire and what I hate about her is that she never looks back, if she slept with Flack… it wouldn't put a faultier in her stiletto clad gait." Lindsay said.

"Should I be worried about our man Flack?" Danny asked Lindsay shot him a withering look.

"I think Flack will be alright, I'm sure he's bedded some women with out taking his socks off."

"Truce?"

"Truce. Let's go to work."

The first half of the day held lots of paper work for both Danny and Lindsay. They didn't even look up from a page for an hour plus straight. Slow days were good days but they were also rather boring.

There was a knock on their door around late morning.

"419 Upper East Side, meet Flack there. Stella and I are off to SoHo with Angell." Mac said.

"Alright." Danny said taking the folder from Mac and flipping it open.

"Have you called him yet?" Lindsay asked, she knew it was Don's day off.

"Just about."

"Tell him I want Farmer back if he's done with her." Lindsay said, Danny looked up.

"Ask him about his sheets."

"Oookkkaaayyy…." Mac said slowly walking away.

* * *

Ephron Academy was a private, private school.

"Tuition here is more than either of us make in a year." Danny commented to Lindsay as they walked the hall to the scene.

"That's ridicules." Lindsay said wrinkling her nose.

"That's New York. They can do that, our PSs are crap1, parents will pay a pretty penny to keep their babies out." Danny sounded bitter.

"It can't be that bad."

"I went to public school; I know it's that bad."

"But you turned out fine." They ducked under the tape.

The library was awe inspiring. All others must bow before it. Lindsay halted, scenes over loaded by the greatness around her.

"Vic's name is Gloria Alcott, 16, sophomore here." Don Flack's voice brought her out of her book lust. "The librarian found her." There on a study table was a body. Marty Pinto, the medical examiner was finishing up with the girl.

"COD looks like compressive asphyxia." Marty told them as they gathered around. "Probably crushed, she was found with books and a board across her chest but I won't know till I cut her open."

"Where'd the books get to?" Danny asked noting the fact they weren't on the body.

"Librarian, Mrs…" Don flipped open his notepad. "Valerie Minion moved them to get at the body when she found her." Lindsay glanced at her watch as she snapped on her gloves. 1:03.

"What time did she find the body?" she asked.

"Why?" both her companions questioned.

"It's one o'clock where are the kids, wouldn't she have been found earlier?"

"Apparently it's an in-service workday, no classes, just the staff. Minion found the body when she went to shelve books." Don told her.

"Veo2." Lindsay nodded and she and Danny began processing.

She photographed the body and he got the rest of the area. Don was busy talking to person after person. From time to time Lindsay would pause to discreetly examine him for signs of sex. What she hoped to see she didn't know, he had showered and was fully clothed. Sex hair and nail marks would be out. Farmer was against hickeys. So unless a sign was illuminated saying 'I had sex with Elizabeth – Iris last night' she wasn't going to know. Lindsay got back to work.

"Vic's name was Gloria Alcott, right?" Danny said more than asked.

"Yeah, why?"

"Is there a 'Matt' in that anywhere?" He held up a ring, Lindsay walked over for a closer look. It was a class ring hanging off a broken chain. Silver and black on side said Matt and had the National Honors Society torch. The other side had both a soccer ball and a football, 2009.

"Looks like we've got a boyfriend." Lindsay commented as Danny bagged the ring.

"Or a suspect."

"I'd say boyfriend, unless her man did it. A girl only wears a ring on a chain if it's her dad's, brother's, or boyfriend's. 2009 is more of a boyfriend year I think."

"Didn't know it was still cool to have a class ring, let alone give it to a girl." Danny remarked.

"You never gave a girl your ring?" _Or was it too much of a hassle changing that many hands?_ Lindsay asked.

"Nope, I never gave a girl my ring. My luck she'd toss it in the Hudson… Good God there's a varsity jacket." Danny threw up his hands. Lindsay laughed.

"I think it's sweet."

"You probably spent your high school days walking around with the quarterback's jacket." Danny fired at her.

"Hardly, the only guy to ask me out like that was the sword club president and he stopped breathing when he asked." It was Danny's turn to laugh, although if she was half as cute then as she was now he would've stopped breathing too.

"Shut up! Not every guy's got the "Messer charm". You probably had to get police protection for every girl you asked so she wouldn't get whacked by enraged rivals."

"I couldn't, I had baseball practice." He said.

"Swim team, drama club, homework, forced family time, TV." Lindsay added.

"We had a sort of lam high school experience." Danny said.

"It was cool at the time." Lindsay countered.

"Both of you are lame." Don added joining them.

"Hey, you didn't get play 'til my friend came with a mercy lay." Lindsay snapped, claws coming out.

"Hey, hey, hey." Don said wagging a finger from side to side, he hadn't expected the venom. Elizabeth – Iris's idea of slightly displeased was a bit different than his.

"One, I had and have plenty of play, thankyouverymuch. Two, I thought Farmer told you we didn't do anything."

"You didn't?" Lindsay arched a brow.

"Yes." Or did that mean that they did do something. "No." Now he countermanded himself. "I mean I did not have sexual relations with that woman." His phone rang; thankful for the distraction he answered it.

"You've got my underwear." Elizabeth – Iris's voice purred on the other end. Don chocked a little; that was very dirty. True, she left her overnight bag at his place, so he probably did have her underwear but it would never be put like that. Iris chuckled; she knew what her words did. Well two could play that game.

"I've got more than your underwear Iris." He replied huskily. Totally inappropriate but funny. "Someone will run your bag back today when we get a chance." He then said in his regular voice. "Glad you got back safe."

"I'll see someone sometime then." She said, knowing he needed to get back to work.

"Bye."

"Bye." They rang off. Danny was giving him a very 'you didn't sleep with her?' sort of look. Don was about to say something when his phone flashed again.

_btw I won the bet. Await further info._ He smiled.

Danny and Lindsay took over the larger layout room since Mac, Stella, and Hawkes were still out in the field.

"If there is a just God we will be punished for what we are doing to these books." Lindsay said laying out a spectrum of thick books, ranging from dictionaries to text books. Danny looked with amusement at her pained face.

"My high school librarian would rather have died than had this happen to one of her precious books."

"Mine too. She was a pain in the ass to work for." He said, they processed and talked.

"You worked in the library?" Lindsay asked tearing her eyes away from lifting a print to stare at him in admiration.

"My senior year. I didn't want to take an elective English class, but to play ball I needed the credit hour so I worked in the library. I got to stay on the team, and it made surveillance happy." They finished processing as the clock beeped five.

"Wanna pick up an early dinner?" Danny asked. With Mac out he felt better about getting food, less like sneaking, more like actually eating.

"Sure…" Mac walked passed the glass wall with a curt nod of 'I'm back'. Lindsay paused. "Know what cowboy, why don't you go pick up something while I do hair and fiber."

"You're implying that I'll do prints." He said motioning to the large stack of lifted fingerprints, she smiled sweetly.

"Well we could skip eating and do everything together if you think it's too much." She hit his two weaknesses, food and saying he couldn't do it. She had him.

"No… I'll do the prints…" he sighed.

"Great!"

Lindsay was clicking her pen absent mindedly in front of her computer. It was annoying and he just walked in the door. Whit his free hand he reached out and grabbed the pen away from her, effectively silencing her and announcing his arrival. She jumped back into focus.

"Ooh that smells good." She said wafting the sent, strong and hot through the brown paper bag.

"Licilan's." He told her setting the bag down on his desk. "I got Spaghetti and meatballs or Ravioli." He said as he produced two Tupperware containers.

"Ravioli." She said taking one steaming container form him.

"Thought as much." He said handing her a plastic fork. They ate in companionable silence for a while.

"How'd the fibers go?" Anything good?" Danny asked between spirals of noodles.

"Meh. Vic had a dog – lot of hair from that. There was some random stuff – thread from jeans, cashmere, tweed, other expensive fibers, nothing inspiring anything but envy. I was about to start on the ring but you showed up with the food." She told him.

"Still leaving me to do the prints all thirty thousand of them." Danny complained.

"You betcha!"

* * *

Lindsay processed the ring to discover a lot of partials and smudges. The chain gave her epithelial, but the computer gave her nothing, sighing she dropped into a swivel chair to search for an owner.

"Logic is in the eye of the logician. GS." She read from the inside of the band. "Gloria Steinem." Danny looked over at her, a little surprised that she could name the person so easily.

"Steinem, wasn't she the 'A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle' chick?" Lindsay shot him a look.

"She's credited with it, yes."

"This was on the guy's ring?"

"It's a good quote." Lindsay said in a mini - dimension of defensive feminist showing through.

"I think our Gloria had a nice strong influence on 'Matt'." Danny said.

"Maybe he liked the quote on its own or shock… likes Steinem's writing." Lindsay tossed out.

"Gloria Steinem – Gloria Alcott, I think there's a connection. Perhaps she took after her name sake."

"Doesn't really help us narrow down which academy Matt is missing a ring though." Lindsay said turning back to the computer.

"It gives us a convoluted motive perhaps." Danny threw out. "If Gloria was as outspoken as Gloria somebody might've wanted to off 'er. There are a lot of chauvinists in the world." Lindsay smiled at the pro – feminist words, also at any theory. They had had bupkis before, anything was something. Both set back to work.

The search criteria of Matt, 2009, football, soccer, and National Honors Society gave them one hit. Matthew Metzger.

Matt was a dark haired kid about as tall as Danny and about as old as Gloria had been.

"Dead?" was all he could say for minutes after Danny delivered the news. Lindsay handed the boy the evidence bag with his ring in it.

"This was found by the body." She said the young man's hands shook as he took it from her. Lindsay noted the women's ring on his little finger, it was silver and garnet, Lori was on the side.

"How long were you together?" she asked in her kindest voice.

"We'd been friends since the seventh grade." Tears welled, "It just sort of progressed… I was so happy to see my ring around her neck I was so blind before. She was right under my nose the whole time, a friend and a companion…" Danny kept his 'on please' look brief but Lindsay still caught it she gave him a hard glare.

"Can you think of anyone who would want to hurt her?" Danny asked, Matt shook his head fighting for composure. His mother spoke for him; she had just come out of shock.

"Lori was a great person, wonderful to be around. But I think just about everyone at some point wanted to smack her.

"She is… was really smart, we're very grade competitive at school and she gave a lot of people a run for their money. She was always messing up the curve, teachers loved her too. We used to joke that Mr. O'Leary was gunna… gunna marry her. He liked calling on her so much…"

"But did she have any real enemies or problems?" Danny asked, he wanted to get out of there before real waterworks started.

"Only superficial ones." Danny and Lindsay left in silence. Neither spoke until they were in the Tahoe.

"Nice warm fuzzy skills back there." She said voice light, intent deadly.

"They're sixteen. How can he know the love of his life when he can't drive past midnight?"

"Romeo was sixteen Juliet was fourteen and they died for their love."

"They were fictional characters Lindsay, that's like saying pigs can run communist governments and eleven year old boys are wizards."

"Jesus was like three when Mary was sixteen." He was caught there, as a Catholic he couldn't argue that one. "You never had a girlfriend in high school or college that you thought was the 'one'?" _Well _Danny thought_ there's you, but I'm not sixteen._

"Never really any second dates in my youth."

"I see you're acting out because you missed out."

"And you had Prince Charming in a ten gallon hat."

"No." she said, "But I didn't stop believing." There was a lull in their sort of argument, a silent truce was called.

"We forgot to ask why Gloria was in the Library after hours!" Lindsay exclaimed.

"I think we should ask this Mr. O'Leary. Marry her? In appropriate with a teacher could get you killed." Danny said.

"Teacher's pet in an academics focused school would too." Lindsay said. "But to be killed in that manner, it seems more than just a brainac's green eyed monster."

"Let's hit the books again."

Lindsay hit the books; they needed to know more questions for O'Leary and she lost the coin toss. Marty had beeped them as they approached the building, letting them know the autopsy was done, neither wanted to have to dig deeper into the heavy texts. The quarter was the fair way and Lindsay got the raw end of the fifty – fifty chance.

"Wada ya got for me Marty?" Danny asked the medical examiner.

"My initial thoughts about your vic being pressed to death wasn't 100" Marty Pinto began.

"How'd she die then?" Danny asked.

"The books and board weren't heavy enough to crush her out right, they did constrict breathing, what did her in was some sort of asthma attack or hyperventilation." Stress was a cause of attacks and being slowly pressed to death would stress a person out.

"Anything else?"

"She was restrained by something wide but there were no signs of struggle." Marty held up the girl's limp left wrist to show the band line. "There was also some blunt force trauma to the back of the head. Probably why there are no signs of struggle, she was out cold for most of it." He told him.

"Alright, thanks man." With that Danny left to help Lindsay with her consolation prize.

When he got back to the lay out room she had sifted the books into two piles.

"This the done pile?" he asked pointing to the smaller of the two stacks of books bopping he hadn't left her to do too much by herself.

"No that is." She said pointing to the other stack, three times larger than the not done. "Nice timing cowboy." Danny snapped on a pair of gloves to do what he could.

"Pinto says the books alone didn't kill her but an asthma attack on top of the weight did."

"I found an inhaler in her bag." It had been in a small pocket with her phone and extra money.

"She was also konked on the head, probably how the killer got her on the table and not to fight the strap." The strap had been a brown leather belt, men's 30 inch (ish) and the third hole was the most used but the smallest hole had been what kept Gloria's wrist to the table leg.

"I've got blood." Lindsay announced from _Servants of Satan_, Danny bent over her shoulder for a better look. The blood was a smudge of a print and was consistent with pin prick or nasty paper cut. The position was tantalizing, she had blood and it was hot pounding in her ears. But it was okay, his blood was doing more dangerous places. There was also blood on the bindings of a few other books. Eventually every page had been processed.

"What was this girl studying?" Danny asked lifting his glasses to rub his eyes, the ice blue now tired. He sat there, glasses on his head for a while starring at the eclectic pile. There were subjects from Classical Composers to Witchcraft. Joe McCarthy to Paul McCartney. Danny felt the table for his glasses, he couldn't find them. Sighing Lindsay reached up and brought them down, placing them on his face. Her hands lingered.

"We'll just have to date the prints and see what she touched recently." With her hands on his temples he couldn't do a thing but nod, his mind was out the window with other things.

"Let's get going then cowboy." She said and pulled back. She began the little machine; Danny looked at the pile of prints, then his watch.

"Montana, it's ten o'clock, don't you think it's a little late to open this can of worms?" Danny asked.

"Oh pish The Daily Show isn't even on yet." Lindsay replied.

"We've been here over twelve hours."

"If you want to go I won't stop you."

"Montana, I'm wanting you to go home. You're the one with the friend at home."

"Farmer can take care of herself."

"Last time she did that she and Flack had a sleep over." Danny reminded her. Lindsay sighed heavily.

"Alright you win; we'll save this for tomorrow."

* * *

Lindsay deposited her keys on the table with a careless thunk. She was woken out of her tried daze by an unfamiliar coat on the rack. Lindsay looked into the living room. Don and Elizabeth – Iris were sitting on the couch drinking coffee and chatting like old women.

"Flack." Lindsay exclaimed looking at the dark haired detective like he had grown a second arm out of the top of his head. Both pairs of amazing eyes grew big as the heads turned to look at Lindsay. "This is where you snuck off to." She commented lightly.

"You didn't need me for anything did you?" he asked worriedly.

"Just for you to explain the honor." She was still feather light and even did a little 'America's Next Top Model' walk and folded her legs under her as she settled in the opposite chair.

"I was just…" Don felt like a grade school kid called on for not paying attention, he didn't know the answer.

"I left my bag at his place last night, he was dropping it off." Elizabeth – Iris said breezily, not feeling the embarrassment Don did.

"Oh, I see." Lindsay said faking it. Flack stood up,

"It's late, I better go and let you two catch some zzzs. Thanks for the coffee Farmer, it was excellent…" Lindsay rolled her eyes as Elizabeth – Iris walked Don to the door.

"Was the coffee stronger now or this morning at his place?" Lindsay asked from the chair as soon as Flack was gone.

"Now Lindsay." Elizabeth – Iris said.

"Now Farmer." Lindsay got up to walk around her friend, for a second Elizabeth – Iris was silent, but soon she has a witticism.

"Looking for the witch's tit Lindsay?"

"What are your intentions with Don?"

* * *

1 I don't know this for a fact, but every movie (like Take the Lead) has these crappy no body cares schools in the city

2 I see. Spanish


	15. The Televangelists

In Hoxie We Trust

* * *

Disclaimer: I own my sense of reality; actual reality is out of my hands.

* * *

Chapter Fourteen: The Televangelists

"What are your intentions with Don?"

"Excuse me, could you repeat that oh hick father with a shot gun and a gender reversal." Elizabeth – Iris' first got wide at the question, then narrowed to match Lindsay's hard gaze as she delivered her line.

"I have to work with him Farmer." Lindsay began to pace slightly; Farmer folded her arms in the defensive position. "And I like him, he's a good friend. But I love you so if you got together and broke up things would be very hard for me…"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Elizabeth – Iris interjected. "Lindsay, baby, I can see why you're such a good CSI, you over think and over analyze. How can we break up when we've never been on a date?"

"What was last night?" Lindsay countered.

"Business."

"You spent the night at his house Elizabeth, unless you're a prostitute on the side, that's not business."

"We wanted you and Danny to have a little talk; I would've been in the way."

"So you went off and slept with him?" Lindsay's voice hit a high note in her exclamation.

"No! He slept on the couch." Partially true.

"'Where'd you go with the sheets?'" Lindsay couldn't do impressions to save her life but Elizabeth – Iris let it slide. "That doesn't sound innocent to me!" At least she was yelling in her normal voice.

"He slept on the coach!" Elizabeth – Iris exclaimed _Give me a minute to find a fib._

"Were you with him?"

"No that would be you and Danny." Farmer fired, "While I was talking to you I figured Don should get up so I ripped the sheets off of him his reaction time is slow." It was the best she could do. Lindsay sighed and plopped down on the couch ungracefully.

"I believe you. Sorry for yelling."

"S'alright." Elizabeth – Iris said sitting next to her friend.

"But what are intentions with Don? Just so I can have a heads up." Elizabeth – Iris paused. What were her intentions with Don? She felt heat spread through her body. Well there were some things she knew for sure she wanted to do with him but was that it? He was attractive, lord knows he was. He was tall, built, lanky, and safe feeling. Smelling of laundry sheets, soap, and a hint of Old Spice. She would love to tap that. Or be tapped by that as the case may be. But was it his nice body, and even nicer suits the long and short of her desire? Or was there something else, something more. Oh yes. He made sense, made her laugh, and made her feel at home.

"Well?" Lindsay pressed. Farmer chose her words with a lawyer's precision.

"I like him, I like him very much. If he asked me out I would not object. Now, I love you and wouldn't want to cause any problems, but if you have no protests…" her trail off said more with silence than words. Lindsay paused, weighing her options. She trusted Flack, but more importantly she trusted Farmer.

"Have fun. Just keep in mind that I see him professionally, so keep your sexcipaids to yourself." Farmer felt herself beam from ear to ear; like a kid with a free candy bar.

"Thanks Linds." Elizabeth – Iris said hugging her friend.

"No hay problema1." Lindsay said hoping the rest of the inevitable conversation would sick to 'Farm' related topics. No such luck.

"Now Don owes me an evening of his time, have you and Danny discussed everything needing to be discussed or should we schedule our time so you two are forced together again?"

"I think we've reached an understanding." She said smiling faintly, "It was easier than I thought, talking to him, it was… it wasn't bad. More good." Elizabeth – Iris' look said it all, all that Lindsay was still desperate to deny.

"Well," Farmer's expression changed. "I'm glad sleeping with Don was beneficial." The women laughed. "So how was work?" New Topic.

Ephron Academy with students was very different from what Lindsay had seen and herd. It reminded her of her own high school. Strange to think plain old Bozeman Senior High was the equivalent to a New York academy. The student body was slightly more racially diverse but had the same cliques – Jocks, preps, ghosts, flat out nerds. 'Rich' kids, 'middle class' kids, nothing spectacular, nothing new.

Mr. O'Leary's room on the other hand was unlike any US History room ever conceived. It didn't look so much like a USH room as a collection on African culture. Tasteful but channeling 'Roots', the true oddity was the man, he was short clearly of Isles ancestry with auburn hair, ten days growth and glittering emerald eyes behind Gandhi Glasses.

"It's all very surreal; I've been walking in a daze since I was briefed this morning. Damn near cried during the school's moment of silence. You any closer to catching the bastard who did it?" Add too a Midwest drawl.

"Nothing to say for sure." Lindsay said taking an offered chair in the front of the room. Danny sat beside her flipping open the notes Flack had greeted them with this morning. He had been so uncomfortable around her, never looking her in the eye. She tried to use her non – verbal communication, it needed some work, but eventually he did accept her smile. His information brought them more questions for the eccentric teacher.

"Do you know what Ms. Alcott was doing in the library on a day off of school?" Danny asked.

"She was working on an Independent Study – Compare/ Contrast the colonial witch hunts with the communist hunts of the cold war. It was going to be a good paper."

"How'd she get in on a non school day?" Lindsay asked.

"The building is open – activities go on with or without school. I wrote her a pass for the library."

"Did she have any enemies? Anybody who would want her dead?" Irish O'Leary shook his head.

"She had people who didn't like her, sure but no one who'd want her dead. Gagged or failed; yes, dead; no."

"Do you know any friends for us to talk to?" Lindsay asked.

"You can talk to the entire class…" O'Leary's eyes watered. "I can't… this was her class…" He broke down. Danny and Lindsay looked at each other while he wept. The bell rang.

"Tell 'em to get in their top tens – talk to 'em that way." And the teacher was gone. The partners braced themselves.

* * *

To: whitershadeofpalen, WookieLowen  
From: farmerIrisEIO  
Subject: I've found me a home

Hey you two!

Great news, I've survived the NYC real estate market and have come out victorious. I have an apartment on Saturday. I'm the Manhattan ball buster I've always wanted to be! Tractor's fine, I know she hasn't updated you, there was a case that put her on the rocks, but we had a little fight and everything's just peachy. She even talked to her Italian Stallion – amour is in the air, I can sense it. We'll have more young minds to corrupt soon!

* * *

Mr. O'Leary's 6th period AP US History class took directions wordlessly.

"Hello everyone, I'm Danny Messer and this is Lindsay Monroe and we're from the New York Crime Lab, investigating the death of Gloria Alcott." Danny announced. "Sit tight, we'll talk to everyone eventually." Lindsay went left, Danny right. Millard Fillmore consisted of,

"Mythili." A pretty Indian girl in Abercrombie and cat eye glasses.

"Tiffani" who wore a very conservative skirt and pale pink sweater set.

"Jeremy." Who was the only male in the group, and

"Megan." Who looked like an angel with her long curls and innocent smile. "This was Lori's group." She said hollowly. Lindsay's heart broke for all the sadness in the student's faces.

"Can you think of any reason for a person to do this?" Lindsay asked. Tiffani shook her head, Jeremy say in stony silence, and Mythili wiped at her eyes under her glasses. Megan burst into hysterical laughter, drawing every eye for a moment.

"She always knew she knew she was going to die young…. 'My mouth is gunna get me in trouble" Creepily, ironically true.

"Who hated her tongue the most?" Lindsay asked reaching for a Kleenex for Megan's now hysterical crying.

"No one…." Mythili said, "there's a shallow rivalry between us and The Televangelists but she was dating Matthew and Yeil was her solar opposite but they got along…"

"Oh Tillie – I'm the good Christian here, as Gloria would say," Tiffani exclaimed, she turned to Lindsay "Everyone knows that Gloria could not stand Will Richmond and the feeling was quite mutual. When Matt and Gloria held hands for the first time he an Will got in a fight and fists flew in minutes."

"Who's this Will Richmond?" Lindsay asked here was a possible suspect. Jeremy pointed to a group of students in the back of the room.

"He's a prick!" Megan sniffed from behind her tissue.

"Megan! You just swore!" Tiffani and Mythili exclaimed in unison shock.

"Lori's fault." Megan replied and the women were reduced to tears yet again. Lindsay looked at Jeremy who had a mask firmly in place.

Thank you for your help, here's my card if you have anything else, or just need to talk don't hesitate to call." Lindsay left for the next group.

"She was a feminist – but a cool one, she would let me joke and stuff but would always like show me the line. And she was soooo funny oh my fuckin' God hilarious." Danny nodded as Dex, the least likely guy to see in an AP class shook his hands to emphasize his love of Gloria. Danny noted the metallic blue and orange nail polish.

"She have any enemies?" The other two 'Knights of Labor' hadn't said anything the whole interview.

"Well…" Dex thought, "I dunno, she could be a bitch, but that was a title she accepted – ya know. Um… there's Will but he's a giant douche to everybody. OMG I fucking hate that kid, he's such a cock munch, I just wanna…" he made a lot of violent gestures.

"Alright, I get it. Where can I find him?"

"He's one of those Televangelists – the bastards."

The Televangelists, the last and most hated group out of Mr. O'Leary's top tens, they were smart, and they knew it, they liked to win, and they did. Lindsay sat down taking them in carefully. Matthew Metzger was naturally absent but everyone else was apparently there. The remaining Ts were Mat, a bleached blonde swimmer with a cocky smile and conference champs letter jacket. Yeil, Gloria's 'solar opposite' was a short Asian teen in a baggy sweatshirt and glasses that wouldn't stay on his nose, Rafael was a gangly, shy boy with a thick Brazilian accent and sad, sympathetic eyes. There was also Will Richmond, the enemy, the suspect. He was attractive in an aloof way, his skin was coffee colored and the look he regarded her with was scalding.

"So Ms. Femnatzi stirring things up even in death, huh?" he asked sardonically. Lindsay felt herself bristle; she'd never had a suspect so young drive her to violent thoughts.

"She's dead will, have some fucking respect." Yeil snapped, his Asian American accent thicker than his glasses.

"Probably martyring herself for some silly, outdated cause, she was living in the past."

"Her manor of death suggests murder." Lindsay said tersely, reigning herself in barely.

"Look I know you never liked her, but she was our freinimy and Matt's girlfriend so shut up!" the other Matt snapped.

"Got her hooks in him nice, deep, and tight, huh?"

"I take it you an the victim didn't get along." Lindsay said stressing 'victim'.

"You could say that."

"Dislike her enough to kill her?" Danny asked coming up behind Lindsay. Will looked up at Danny attitude softening a little in front of a bigger man.

"Look Gloria and I hated each other, plain and simple. I didn't like her with Matt. I didn't think she deserved half the attention she got, we didn't get along. Did I want her gone – yes. Dead? Sure – but somebody else did her in. Probably to shut her up." He glared at the CSIs coldly.

"Pleasant kid." Danny commented lightly as he and Lindsay got in the Tahoe.

"Oh My God! I don't think I've ever wanted to kill a teen so badly in my life. What a chauvinist pig!" Lindsay spat. "Just because he's got a penis he's gotta act like a dick, and 'cause I've got a vagina he can fuck with me and give me no respect… and… and…" her breath was horse in her anger "…and… and I HATE MEN!"

"Whoa, Montana, chill, I'm not the one to have a rant and rave kill all the men session with." Danny said giving her a little smile. He could see where she was coming from but there was no way he'd join in, they'd revoke his man card and he'd have to pee sitting down. She looked over at him.

"Sorry 'bout that, flash back to my more militant days."

"As long as you don't pull a Bobbit I'm cool."

Karenina Woteki – Lowen bounced her two year old son on her lap as she checked her email. Spam, spam, spam, chain mail, forward, bigger dick, spam… Ah, dear Farmer. She opened the message. Across the country Gwen Palen had set aside her coffee cup to read the letter. A Hoxie reunion was brewing.

* * *

1 No Problem (Spanish)

_The kids are not characters, but friends of mine from my own 6th period class, they're weirder than anything a writer could come up with. I'm a Filmore all the way baby!_


	16. Stubbornness is as Iniquity and Idolatry

In Hoxie We Trust

* * *

Disclaimer: I own my sense of reality; actual reality is out of my hands.

* * *

Chapter Fifteen: Stubbornness is as Iniquity and Idolatry1

"I thought I'd find you here." Mac said quietly over Stella's shoulder, in her ear. She rummaged in her brown paper bag, not looking away from the sparkling pretties of the Tiffany's case. She handed him a doughnut.

"I thought you'd find me here too." She replied. They chewed their doughnuts in silence for a time. Breakfast at Tiffany's was cheap therapy for Stella, it calmed her, brought her peace. The SoHo case had hit her hard. A child had been suffocated during a rebirthing – a therapy that was supposed to bond mother and step – son. It didn't. They had fit the last piece in the answer last night and it had infuriated and broke Stella. The son had an extreme allergic reaction to latex, constricting the lungs and killing him, the blankets had been coated in it – by the step – mother. Stella loved kids and with her lonely past it killed her to see someone destroy a family because a child wasn't 'theirs'. Mac knew and understood this, he was angry too, but his first priority was Stella. This was why he was the only man eating breakfast at Tiffany's.

"That one's pretty." Stella broke the silence as she referenced a 'celebration ring' dripping in diamonds. It was pretty, he agreed, but it didn't seem for her. It was too much, she was classic – simply beautiful, bejeweled wasn't her.

"It is, but I prefer something like this." He pointed to a solitaire amethyst – a sugar stack. "It's pretty and unique and let's you be the true gem you are." He said. Stella turned to face him, suddenly very near, her eyes shone and the powdered sugar on her lips was endearing, the moment was cinematic gold as they looked at each other.

"So," she said quietly, 'you buying?"

Adam Ross timidly handed Lindsay the results of all the thousands of lifts they had gotten from the scene, she took it hungrily and ripped it open.

"Montana, what do you say?" Danny asked in a sing song voice intended to annoy.

"Danke2." She threw out over the top of the file. Her bad mood which reared a vitriol head after the academy trip still hung over her head like a thunderhead, complete with lightning. It was the longest grudge he'd ever seen her hold.

Lindsay had been rightly pissed ever since that smart mouth, big egoed, small penised, cocky little jerk had been so… cold. She had gotten home and Elizabeth – Iris had joined her in a bottle of merlot and bitch fest. Lindsay was a 'farm feminist.' Even though she lived in the city all her life, her father had been a rancher's son, he had seen his three sisters work along himself and his father and brother for as long as they did, as often as they did. He learned women worked hard and he passed the western work ethic on to his second daughter. No playing the 'girl' card there was no work but the gender neutral kind. Jessica's mother worked a 9 to 5 for as long as anyone, she taught how to balance job and family like a pro. Lindsay also learned balance. She was a mild mannered feminist, if she had to be labeled. Treat me with respect and let me work was her philosophy. Elizabeth – Iris was different. If a good bra wasn't so expensive she'd burn it. Her father was a southern boy who married a Yankee from Chicago with hippie parents. She was a Steinem devotee.

They enjoyed their anti – man evening but found it hard to be truly mean. They knew too many good men to detest the entire sex. Mac was a God, Sheldon was sweet, Don funny, and Danny was… warm.

"So what do we have?" Danny was speaking. Lindsay focused back on the words… and smiled.

"Somebody's got some 'splaining to do." She handed Danny the results. The freshest prints on all the books, all the DNA, and the like came back to a William Richmond.

Elizabeth – Iris' color vision was shot. She'd had spent too many hours looking at paint chips, it was Thursday and she hated moving. She rubbed her eyes and gave up. She also had no idea as to what reward she would reap from Don. Stupid bet… tempting bet. Schwartz looked at her from the dresser, he was now wearing Don's tie. She sighed… Don… her phone rang cutting short the distraction.

"Diga3"

"Uh… Elizabeth – Iris?" it was Jerry.

"That's my name, what can I do for you Jerry?" Elizabeth – Iris greeted him in English.

"Well, I was curious about what you're plans are for Friday next." Elizabeth – Iris raised an eyebrow but made no verbal change.

"I start work Monday, but I'm free the evenings."

"My you certainly jump right in, work already Monday? How long have you been in town?" Elizabeth – Iris thought.

"A little over a week." She figured.

"Such work ethic."

"They needed me ASAP." She said, _Just like your purpose – I'd like that ASAP too. _"What can I do for you Friday?"

"Well I have two tickets to The Phantom of the Opera for Friday, I was going to take my wife for our anniversary, but she's taking me to Thailand instead. I noticed your mask earrings the day we signed everything, are you interested?" Elizabeth – Iris did a happy dance.

"Yes, yes, I'd LOVE them. Thank you so much!" Jerry laughed on the other end.

"I'm glad I made your day." He said, "When do you want me to run the tickets over?"

"No need, I'll get them, you're doing more than enough for me. When should I come over?"

"Anytime, if I'm not in my secretary can say everything I would." Jerry made to ring off.

"Hold on, how much do you want for the seats?"

"Nothing, I want them put to good use." He replied.

"Jerry, I know those tickets aren't cheep."

"I don't want your –" he began.

"Name your price or I'll name my own." She threatened. Jerry chuckled again.

"Good argument councilor. Let's say $50."

"50 for two… this is no high school musical sir."

"You said I could name my own price." He protested.

"I'm giving you 100; don't try to talk me down."

"Fine, fine, do what you want. See you sometime."

"See you." They rang off. Elizabeth – Iris looked at Schwartz.

"I love it when things drop in my lap." She said aloud.

Don Flack sat at his desk pushing paper work – dotting and crossing everything that needed dotted or crossed. He could go for lunch in an hour, he couldn't wait. If Danny was free they could go grab a slice and catch some sports talk. That is if Danny was free and not with Lindsay. Not that Don had a thing against Lindsay, he was very happy for Danny and his new lunch companion. But when your buddy is happy you always seem to be depressed or jealous or both. Hooray for Lindsay, boo for eating alone. His cell rang ending his romantic pity party worthy of a daytime WE movie. New text message. **Call me when you get off work. Iris.**He smiled. _Why don't we just do lunch? _He was about to hit send when he got another call. Stupid business before pleasure rule.

Lindsay and Danny meant Don in the viewing room outside of Interview Three. Inside was Will Richmond.

"Wadaya got?" Don asked looking from partner to partner. _Dreams of each other's arms, brownstones and 2.5 kids? _

"You and Montana are going fishing." Danny said before briefing filling in the details. They were confident for an arrest hence their call to him. Lindsay went in first and Danny caught Don's eye as he followed, the look dearly started that Don was in charge of the safety of very important stuff. Don shot him back a look, answering _Don't worry man, I've got her back. _

"Hope we're not pulling you out of an important class." Lindsay said lightly setting down across from the student suspect.

"I have over 100 in it, I can miss a day. But I don't' think you really care. Whose the friend?" _Icy _Don noted.

"Mr. Richmond, Detective Flack, Flack, William Richmond." Lindsay kept the tone the same. Don sat down next to Lindsay.

"So MS. Monroe." Will threw out with venom. "What can I do for you?" Lindsay laid out a few select pictures.

"Can you tell me about this?" She asked.

"She's dead." _Cold bastard. _Don thought looking at the youth.

"And we think you did it."

"Oh really?"

"Really. You see we have your prints on this…" she laid out a photo of the belt "… and this…" bookshelf "These…." The books "And a partial on this…" Matt's class ring.

"I'm a student, I lost the belt during football, and I've seen, probably touched Matt's ring before – we're friends."

"Friends? How's the friendship since you've killed his girlfriend?" Don tossed out, he could be a pit harsher – he was 'bad cop'.

Student and investigators stared at each other for tense seconds.

"I saved him." He threw out with such emphasis and malice.

"Saved him? Are you one of these new teens, the way… Emus, Emos, whatever, that find happiness to be the spawn of the anti Christ. Thinking of it that way maybe you did save your friend." Don said getting up to walk around the kid mockingly. "You see your friend was happy!" Don slammed his hand on the table next to Will to add to his point. Will Richmond's ice didn't crack.

"He was loosing his mind. 'Love' was taking him over. Demanding all his attention, all his time, he was neglecting his friends over some pants – she was too militant to even be called a skirt!" _He was jealous _It hit Lindsay like a 2x4 to the head.

"He had no time for you." Lindsay said, voice understanding.

"Not for any of his friends, just for that witch."

"But she didn't like you, so if he did have time he definitely wouldn't spend it with you."

"She was cutting me out." Will said façade cracking, leaving ice to sink he Titanic behind as his true colors showed.

"We were like this." He held up crossed fingers. "Then he 'fell in love' with her and now we're this!" he pointed to opposite sides of the room. "All because of her!" he was very worked up.

"So you killed her because her boyfriend wasn't spending enough time with you?" Don asked bluntly.

"She was poisoning his goddamn mind, do you hear me. She was the puppet master and the strings needed to be cut. I was saving him!"

"I'm sure your comparison of Gloria and Howdy Dowdy will bring her parents comfort." Don said snidely.

"She had to go before she got her hooks any deeper in him; I was doing him a favor! A favor!" he yelled.

"Don, do me a favor and get him outta here." Lindsay said coldly, looking the angry teen in the eyes.

"My pleasure." Don said bringing the livid boy to his feet, hands behind his back. Flack began the Miranda, it rolled off his tongue like a well used mantra, a prayer he had learned thoroughly. Lindsay began picking up the photos, shaking her head as she did so. They say teen girls were unstable in relationships, they were the needy ones. That boy was the obvious exception.

"Yet another 'high school experience' I missed out on." Danny commented from the door way, Lindsay looked up.

"Which part, total devotion to a girl, or obsessive, controlling, egotistical friends?"

"Both, although my friends had the ego bit."

"Well, do you really feel deprived for not having that mess?" Lindsay questioned jabbing her thumb at where Will Richmond just was.

"We've agreed that neither of us had a social life for high school. I don't know what I missed out on." He came closer, to stand beside her. He jammed his hands into his back pocket, striking a casual pose.

"Well who wants to go back to high school anyway, everyone says its hell." She said trying to sound passive, despite his proximity.

"I do." He said quietly, she looked up at him with her big brown eyes. "If you want to go with me." Her eyes got even bigger. "Let's go on a date, dinner and a movie, something teens would do. Relive high school. Aren't you on call Friday evening?" Lindsay could only nod, still too stunned to use her voice.

"So do you want to go out with me?" Hell yeah.

"Hell yes." Lindsay finally managed, Danny beamed.

"Excellent. I'll pick you up at 6:30?"

"Sure." Time wasn't making scene of what was going on.

"Perfect." Danny almost skipped out of the interrogation room. Lindsay followed, dazed. Elizabeth – Iris was going to go crazy with this.

Don sat at his desk after the closing of the case. It hit a little close to home. He was getting that third wheel feeling. He wasn't about to kill over it, but he could throw a mental temper tantrum. He wanted a girl to eat lunch with he wanted a Lindsay! He had Elizabeth – Iris! She had the beauty and the brains that stole his heart as well as no real tie to Danny; he wouldn't need to fight his best friend. He could call it a day and Farmer's text message burned a hole in his pocket. He longed to hear her voice again.

"Talk to me." Elizabeth – Iris greeted him.

"You texted me?"

"What are you doing next, next Friday?" Don looked at his calendar… next, next Friday.

"I don't know. Why?"

"Can you block out that evening, like from sixish to um tenish? I'm reaping the reward of your ill-conceived bet."

"I'll see what I can do, what do I have to do for you?"

"Keep me from getting lost or mugged while we enjoy an evening."

"Doing what?" There were things he'd like to do, but he doubted he'd get them on a first date like thing.

"Es una sorpresa." She said.

"What?" No speak – o any Spanish – o.

"It's a surprise."

"Can I be on call or should I take the night?"

"Ideally the night, but I know your job doesn't always work well with ideals so whatever you can get, I'll take."

"Sounds like marriage." He joked.

"I want your time, not your money honey." She said with a laugh.

"Which is good 'cause cops don't get any." They laughed about it. A man could fall in love with that laugh. If he hadn't already.

"When do you more in to your new place?" he didn't want to hang up. He smiled as he saw his shift wind down.

"Saturday." Across town Elizabeth – Iris lounged on her guest bed.

"How are you getting all your stuff?" he had time on his hands, seeing her again was incentive to move large, probably heavy objects.

"My stuff's in a pod, in storage. I'm borrowing Lindsay's Tahoe and just moving everything one piece at a time." She began singing randomly, "I took it one piece at a time and it didn't cost me a dime, you'll know it's me when I come to your town, gunna ride around in style, gunna drive everybody wild…" Ah, Johnny Cash.

"Alright, my man in black, I got it." Flack said laughing.

You recognized the song!" She exclaimed sounding amazed and excited.

"Don't tell anybody but I'm a _little_ bit country." Elizabeth – Iris laughed again, angels were singing (either that or there was a dog hacking up a chicken bone somewhere).

"I blame Linds for all my yee – haw ness." They talked for a long time. Don was able to get from his desk to his door and they hadn't once looked for topics. When they hung up he gazed at his phone. Somebody, hold me too close, somebody, hurt me too deep, somebody, sit in my chair and ruin my sleep and make me aware of being alive, Being alive. He sighed. She made him want to retire his little black book.

Elizabeth – Iris dropped fully on to the bed, arms and head dangling across the foot as she stared up at the popcorn ceiling.

"I'm swooning Schwartz. Swooning!"

* * *

1 For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft, and stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry. 1 Samuel 15:23 King James Version, Got it from Gloria Steinem's book; Outrageous Acts and Everyday Rebellions – it's good, pick it up.

2 Thank you, German

3 Say, Spanish (typical phone greeting)


	17. Date Night

In Hoxie We Trust

* * *

Disclaimer: I own my sense of reality; actual reality is out of my hands.

* * *

Chapter Sixteen: Date Night

Elizabeth – Iris' distinctive cackle sent Lindsay jumping a few feet in the air. A tornado had gone through Lindsay's closet, spewing every shred of clothing she owned out into her bedroom. Once Lindsay was able to loose her blush she could level a proper glare at her friend.

"Hot date?" Elizabeth – Iris asked looking about the room.

"As a matter of fact, yes."

"About damn time. When were you gunna tell me?"

"This is my payback for what you and Don did to me." Lindsay replied, Elizabeth – Iris laughed again.

"I think you should go like that, it's the most exciting thing I've seen in your wardrobe yet… unless you've kept that rubber cat suit." Lindsay looked down at her purple silk leopard print bra and bikini brief set.

"You don't think it's too much do you?" she asked.

"You planning on people seeing them?" Farmer raised a brow.

"At this point I just might. I've got a closet full of clothes and nothing to wear!" Lindsay exclaimed melodramatically.

"I think we can rule out those." Farmer pointed cheekily to the once bride's maid dress turned opera dress, and another formal gown. She showed amazing restraint as Lindsay explained the date to her – not one happy dance or 'I told you' and with her second opinion guided Lindsay was successfully dressed and styled. Danny wasn't as blessed.

"I told you so!" Don exclaimed dancing around Danny's bedroom. Danny swore and threw a pillow at his friend.

"Not helping!"

"If I truly wasn't helping I wouldn't be over here and you wouldn't have your underwear on yet." When Danny had called Don he hadn't even "picked out" boxers yet, something Don demanded he do first.

"Hey different boxers mean different things." Danny snapped. He was apparently wearing a pair that said 'I'm not looking to have sex with you _yet_, I will be later, but tonight I'm just looking to look good with you.' To Don all they said was – 'I'm acting like a woman in the bad way'.

"See, I don't get this, but the only difference in my underwear is 'dirty', 'clean'." Danny blew him a raspberry in response.

"Now can we focus on the task at hand?" With Don's 'help' Danny was able to find an outfit that sort of went with the high school theme. Back in the day he'd be in jeans or athletic shorts and a sports tee, Don had convinced him to go a little classier. Thus the combination of jeans + drivers + nice geometric/ 'artsy' printed tee + leather jacket was born. Just in time too, he had to pick up Lindsay. Don brushed his jacket and messed up his hair before they left.

"Enjoy yourself, be good, watch the hands, don't leave any marks, have condoms."

"Yes Dad." Danny dryly said.

"Hey, father knows best." Don said going one way, Danny the other.

For some reason he felt like dead man walking as he went from elevator to her door. He'd never been this nervous about a date – ever. He could pick up chicks with the best of the best of 'em. But going to _Halloween _and dinner with a friend got his palms sweaty. _You like her as more than 'just a friend'. That's why you're playing the fool. Now don't fuck up. _Don't fuck up. What a confidence building, reassuring her door. Don't knock Fuck knock Up knock.

Lindsay opened the door ready for his presents, but not him. As he entered her apartment all she could think was. _Hot Damn. _How he did it, she didn't know, but he looked better now than she'd ever seen him. Maybe it was because he was picking her up for a date. His leather jacket alone made her melt. This was way better than high school.

"Where's Farmer?" Danny asked looking about, from what he had learned of Elizabeth – Iris, this was not something she'd miss. Lindsay grabbed her purse.

"Tied her up, she was trying to Ouija my Dad's spirit back to earth just so he and she could harass you. When I left Great Aunt Mildred was with her." She said it all without missing a beat and her face was straight. Danny blinked mutely at her. It was then that Lindsay broke; she threw her head back and laughed loud and hearty. Danny joined in.

"But seriously, where is she?" he asked.

"Stella is babysitting for me; they're at some home improvement place preparing for moving day."

"Moving in tomorrow?" he asks as she locks up.

"Yep, I have to work the afternoon shift, but I'm hoping for a light day so I can sneak out early and help her." They headed out.

"I'm on call tomorrow; I can swing by and help if ya need me."

"You'd be my hero, I can just see her trapped on some street corner after trying to haul everything herself, she has a pretty big bed." They were at his car by then, as he handed her in. He asked,

"Should I be worried about our man Flack?"

"I'd be more worried about him if he couldn't handle it." The pair pulled faces and laughed.

"There are a few things I'd rather not visualize." Danny said making her groan.

"Mind on the road, not the gutter cowboy." She told him, they laughed again.

"So where we going?" she asked.

"I thought about recreating your high school experience, but I couldn't think of where we could find cows to tip so I'm reliving my high school days."

"You do know cows don't actually sleep like that right." He looked at her blankly, she looked at him.

"Yeah." He strung the word out and ended it with a hard 'h' sound. She threw up her hands.

"Just checking."

The Ferry Ride in the October evening did wonderful things for the New York Skyline, it was beautiful, Lindsay's eyes shone like saucers in the twinkle of the million lights.

"It's beautiful." She said softly, not wanting to spoil the urban beauty, this was why she always had wanted to move to New York City. Danny turned to look at her, he hadn't since the boat began to move, he was too busy giving any man who looked at her the evil eye of 'back off'. She looked so damn cute in her black and white striped tee with a black button down over it plus jeans that did everything for her legs and a pair of flats that made him want to play knight – arrant for his Dulcinea. She was just too perfect, and didn't every red blooded man on the Ferry know it. Hence the menacing and protective looks. Her words brought him back to her, he swallowed – she was a million times more beautiful than his city.

"Yes, yes you are." He managed to get out, how trite, but it did get her to laugh.

"Breaking out the old standard I see, I'm glad you on for the classics." She said he looked out over the water to his city, his home.

"Better than a Wheatfield?" he asked, other than for pride's sake how could she argue with a view like this?

"Different." She said eyes still on the skyline, sunset in them.

"Different." He repeated in a flat, sarcastic question.

"Different." She said again, turning to face him, "As in distinct, not the same as something else." Danny rolled his eyes.

"Thank you Webster." He said sarcastically, "I was looking for you to elaborate on the statement, not define it."

"I did. Skylines and Wheatfield can't really be compared, not accurately and with fairness. She replied, he regarded her blankly.

"This" she pointed at the skyline, "makes you feel proud to be a part of the city, the amazing human race that achieved it. It's a testimony to how awesome it is to be human, makes you want to be an architect, a urban planner, gets your heart rate up and going for a city like in the place that never sleeps." Definitely a point. "A Wheatfield on the other hand makes you feel… dead."

"Dead?" he questioned.

"And alive, in a Wheatfield you are apart of the earth, the circle of life you are connected. It's a wonderfully complicated feeling. You're incredibly small in the big picture, but powerful. You want to bust out in Oklahoma like song – you belong to the land." She had a point he supposed, but he'd never tell her that. The rest of the Ferry ride was spent in companionable observations, no words needed as they looked out at the world together.

Elizabeth – Iris was able to get her keys a day early and after Stella took her to pick up the paint and supplies the women headed over to the new apartment. Stella was truly amazing, taking care of her while barely knowing her. Willingly working and moving her and regretting work the next day, the woman was a saint.

They had just finished taping off and labeling which wall/ which color when Farmer's cell phone rang out the tones of Sex and the City.

"Speak." Elizabeth – Iris said by way of greeting.

"You just gunna leave us alone to navigate the urban jungle all by ourselves – has the city turned you cold that quickly?" Gwen Palen needed no introductions.

"You're here?" Elizabeth – Iris asked dumbly.

"No, I'm throwing my voice across America; with my psychic powers I'm envisioning JFK."

"Well, you did go to school for that." Farmer said smiling, they loved a good Psychologist/ Psychic/ Psycho joke at Gwen's expense.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you comin' or what? I'm meeting up with the family Loewen so bring something big when you come. Farmer was surprised silent for a moment, Gwen coming was a surprise but Peter, Karenina, and Xavier. This was full on Hoxie.

"Pete and Wookiee are here? You're here. Don't you people have jobs?"

"Job, shmob, two of our Hoxies are navigating the Manhattan jungle like cold, ball busting Amazons. We can't pass this up." Gwen said. Farmer could read her hand gestures in her voice.

"I'll call you when I get there, it'll be ASAP." The women rang off. Stella looked at her.

"How much do I have to bribe you to help me out?" Elizabeth – Iris asked, Stella laughed.

"You don't have too; I wouldn't wish JFK traffic on anybody."

"Oh thank you, thank you, thank you!"

Elizabeth – Iris felt guilty, when Lindsay moved none of the Hoxies could be there. Karenina had entered into thirteen hours of labor that day, Gwen couldn't get away from work – she managed to later; she and Lindsay went to the opera but both received calls from work, Elizabeth – Iris had been dealing with a serial killer, she had been fielding the cops, press, and the feds. Poor Lindsay had been all alone. Now she was here and there was a Hoxie reunion. Xavier, the baby had come, first time on a plane – to move her. Guilt, guilt. And now Stella was going out of her way to pick up people she didn't know, or have the slightest connection to. Guilt, guilt.

"Thank you so much." Elizabeth – Iris couldn't say it enough.

"Enough already! Gratitude is an accessory, not an outfit, you can stop now." Stella said smiling. "I understand the friend thing, I've got Mac and the NYPD, you've got the Hoxies."

"I hope you can count this small section of the legal aid office as a friend too." Elizabeth – Iris said, Stella replied,

"Only if you count this part of the NYPD." The women smiled.

The Pie in the Sky Pizzeria was exactly what a New York pizza place should be, a movie set couldn't have done better. Red vinyl booths, black and white tile, framed pictures of pizza, Italy, and Italians made a person what to cry 'Mama Mia!'

"Daniel!" _Even the people were perfect_. Lindsay thought as a middle aged Italian woman came down upon them, scooping Danny up in a bone crushing embrace, surprising for a woman of her size.

"Daniel, lei grande scatta1, you don't come to see me no more, you don't talk to your ma, you think you're too good for us or something?" Her Little Italy accent was harsh, but she still gave him a sloppy lipstick kiss on the cheek. Before Danny could open his mouth to make an excuse the woman moved on to a new topic – Lindsay.

"And who is this?" The woman asked looking Lindsay up and down, "And what is she doing with you? É troppo bella di essere con lei2."

"Nica, per favore." Danny groaned in Italian, Lindsay got a severe case of cotton mouth at his words, foreign languages were hotter than foreign accents (and they were hot enough to melt your face already).

Danny felt like a real Idiota; he wanted to give Lindsay a classic New York experience, but much to his chagrin Lindsay was getting a classic experience in the embarrassing. Damn his flamboyant second mother. Speaking of mother he'd called his ma just last… month. Oh. He got his attention back on the train wreck at hand; Nica was adopting Lindsay and rolling Italian compliments out like the red carpet.

"Yer gunna scare her away Nic, cut it out." Danny said in a jokingly serious tone as he made the 'cut it out' hand gesture. Nica rounded on him.

"Grammar Daniel." She playfully scolded.

"Can we eat?" he asked. The trio headed to a table laughing.

"Let's get a wheel of Margherita and two Medaglice di Bronzos3." Danny told Nica who took the order and ran.

"You order for all your dates?" Lindsay asked, eye brow raised.

"When I'm trying to set a mood, sure. Want a true New York experience, come here, when you're here order what I did." Lindsay threw up her hands, conceding, but not defeated.

"So what's on a Margherita pizza – limes and salt?" Lindsay asked.

Dinner was one of the best she'd ever had in her dating life. The food was wonderful, atmosphere – amazing, conversation – stimulation, stories – hilarious, man… perfect. This was one hell of a dating comeback, how could others ever compare?

After dinner, which Danny threatened to break her fingers if she didn't drop the check and let him pay for, they walked a few blocks over to the Chapin Theatre, an old school movie picture show with bright lights and a marquee reading John Carpenter's Halloween.

"Halloween?" Lindsay asked.

"Tis the season." Danny replied, "It's my favorite scary movie." Lindsay smiled, she hadn't been questioning the movie, it was one of her favorites too. It was just wasn't what she was expecting. High school themed dinner and a movie, she was expecting a light romantic comedy, the date movie king, or a gory 'how many ways can I kill you with a spoon' film (this so called horror was more gross than scary), or perhaps they'd see whatever 'Scary movie' parody was out this month. This was just a surprise. She was learning that Danny was full of them.

"My favorite too." Lindsay said after he preemptively quashed her offer to pay "I was just expecting something else." Danny laughed.

"Expect the unexpected Montana; I enjoy keeping you on your toes."

"But doesn't expecting the unexpected make the unexpected expected?" Lindsay asked. Danny laughed and they found seats.

Both parties had seen the movie more times than any human should, thus neither watched. Instead they focused on each other, very aware of everything, playing eye tag; looking for as long as you could before the other person noticed. This was an old, cheap movie, and Lindsay wanted some old, cheap tricks to go alone with it. Didn't Danny need to stretch – then bring his arms down around her back, oops. Or didn't he want to share the armrest… and her hand? Where was the high school behavior, Danny for once in his life was being mature. Right when she didn't want him to be. _Great timing Dano._ She thought sarcastically.

Danny needed to stretch, honestly, he needed to pop his back, but he didn't move. He didn't want Lindsay to think he was trying something and think less of him, he'd like a second date… and a third… and a fourth… and a five millionth…

Lindsay visibly shivered, they always cranked the heat down in the theatre, he didn't know why but it always happened. Here was his golden opportunity to wrap her in his arms and keep her 'warm', smell her hair, hold her close, watch a good scary movie, but he took the high road or the cowards trail he couldn't decide – masochist's path? Self denial way? He shrugged off his jacket and handed it to her. Was there a flicker of disappointment in her eyes?

It seemed to be a universal law when it came to movie theatres – lights go down, heat goes with it. Yes, she was a bit chilled, but not as bad as she was playing on. She had to 'shiver' about nine times for him to get the hint in the first place, so what he saw probably looked like she was having a seizure. All this acting better get her something good, like his arm, or a kiss, that would certainly warm her up in all the right ways. She'd thought about kissing him a few times before… okay several times…. Alright at least once for every time she'd seen him since the first time she saw him. That was a lot of day dreaming… she was in the middle of another one when he started to move. Hello snuggle bunny? Noooo… he handed her his jacket. Chivalry was alive and kicking, damn.

There was no further exchange of any thing until the end of the film.

"Thought he was going to stay dead this time, maybe they'd mix it up a little." Danny said as they exited the theatre. Lindsay laughed. The October chill hit her throat, it had gotten colder than expected. Poor Danny was just in a tee. She was wrapped, slightly humorously in his leather jacket.

"You want it back?" She asked, he couldn't totally hide the fact he was cold.

"Nah, I'm good." He said all cocky New York it was silly and endearing all at once.

"You're going to freeze your bobos off." She said beginning to strip.

"Keep the coat on Montana." Danny ordered. "New York boys don't get cold." Lindsay laughed.

"Neither do Montanan girls." She told him, they walked in silence for a bit.

"When are you going to stop being a 'Montana girl' and become a 'New York Woman' Montana?" Danny asked. He worried that someday she'd up and leave him from a Wheatfield, it she was still a 'Montana girl' it was a possibility. Now if she became a 'New York girl' he could keep her forever.

"I'll be a New York girl as soon as you stop reminding me I'm not." She said, he paused, actually stopped moving for a second; what pain had he caused? She sensed his worry and said,

"Ey Montana" in a horrendous New York accent. Danny burst out laughing, falling back in step with her.

"Never do that again Mon – Lindsay." Her name sounded funny when he said it. Lindsay from his lips was an ugly, strange sound, it didn't roll right, it sat. Just fell clumsily from his lips and sat. They noticed it at the same time and looked at each other.

"Montana?"

"Yeah."

The ferry ride home allowed Danny more time to appreciate the city with her in his jacket there was a clear mark and now need for conflict, you didn't steal something labeled.

"I had a great time tonight." Lindsay said as they approached her apartment door.

"I'm glad. Nic wasn't too much for ya?" Lindsay laughed.

"Accent's different, attitude's the same, I have some of my own back in Montana." Danny was thrilled to find her saying between the lines, this was home. They reached her door.

"This is me." She said unlocking her door but not opening it, she turned to him expectantly. _There better be a good night kiss for me. _She'd been sending out signals all night, if he didn't pick up one, one of them was an idiot. Danny looked down at her and licked his lips. There was a scuffle behind the door and the sound of shhing. Lindsay noticed it, but didn't, she was too focused on the glimpse of his tongue parting his lips to know or care if the building was on fire. She was on fire. Sssslllloooowwwwllllyyyy they began to move together. _Yes, Yes, YES!_ Her mind screamed.

Danny was pulled to her like tide to moon and he made no effort to resist. Her gorgeous eyes fluttered closed as he drifted closer. He had to keep it slow, himself in check, he was a raging ball of reason, lust, and emotion; the only thought above the din was: _Don't fuck up. Don't scare her away. _His brain repeated the lines like a mantra until everything went blank when her lips met his. The kiss was sweet and slow, closed mouth but none the less hot. They remained connected for a beat. Cheers were on the other side of the door; Elizabeth – Iris was watching, wickedly Lindsay pushed Danny backwards out of the door's line of sight. She kissed him again. This time was less innocent as her tongue parted his lips like Moses did the seas, he growled and took the contact deeper, sucking her lower lip slightly. They were breathless as they broke apart.

"So," she sighed flushing "see you tomorrow?" Danny nodded and gave her a quick, chase kiss before heading home. Lindsay crept along the wall trying her best to stay out of sight, slowly, silently her hand wrapped around the knob and she threw open the door.

* * *

1 My crappy free translator says that this means in Italian 'you big jerk'

2 She's too pretty to be with you, Italian

3 A random Italian beer, because even though Italians like wine to misquote Danny "My favorite wine is beer"


	18. Moving Day

In Hoxie We Trust

* * *

Disclaimer: I own my sense of reality; actual reality is out of my hands.

* * *

Chapter Seventeen: Moving Day

Her throwing open the door caused not one, but four bodies to topple back onto the floor and each other. Though down in a comic Scooby – Doo style the four still maintained their cheek.

"About (random expletive) time" Chorused from the group. Lindsay blinked.

"What the hell are you doing here?" she asked.

"Heckling you at the moment." Gwen Palen said warmly embracing her friend Hoxie style.

"So you came all the way out here because I had a date?" Lindsay asked greeting Peter Loewen the Hoxie husband.

"With the Italian Stallion." Karenina 'Wookiee' Woteki – Loewen said cheekily. Her friends laughed as Lindsay glared.

"Oh come on honey, at least we approve of him!" Elizabeth – Iris said clapping her friend on the back. Even the Hoxie baby, Xavier, got in on the act. He gave her a round of applause and a fit of giggles; Lindsay groaned but took him in her arms anyway.

"Not you too. Not you too. Not you too." She said several times in several different voices causing more baby laughter.

"I raised my boy to have good taste." Karenina said proudly. The discussion carried into the night.

Don stared at the plant on his table, the plant stared back. He blinked, the plant stared back. Stella had been by early asking him to deliver this thing to Farmer. She had to work, he didn't. The plant wasn't giving any answers the card was even cryptic. _Here's both…_ What the hell did that mean? The pant wasn't saying. He should go over and deliver the thing, even help, Iris only knew Lindsay and the lab when it came to people that would help, the lab worked. He could use his day off in a productive manor, an extra pair of hands never hurt when it came to moving. But it seemed awkward to just go over there. Maybe even creepy. He doubted himself. But it was the plant's unwavering gaze. He did his best stare down. _You plant are an inanimate or whatever object, I'm a fully evolved with thumbs and everything. You can't control me! Grrr._ At least he didn't say what he thought it was crazy enough that he was staring at a houseplant. His phone rang causing him to jump.

"Flack."

"What ya doing?" It was Danny.

"This second or today?"

"Today, you're off right?"

"Yeah, aren't you on call?"

"Yeah. Isn't Farmer moving in today?"

"Uh huh." Flack said nodding.

"You going to go over and help?"

"Are we playing twenty questions?"

"Do you want to?" Danny replied. The men laughed.

"I was thinking about heading over there when you called. Do you want to go with me?" Don said.

"I was thinking the same thing." Danny said. "You know where she lives, right?"

"Yeah, do you want me to drive?"

"Naw, I'm outside your building now, I was just making sure we didn't have to call anybody."

"You're outside my building?" Don was surprised.

"Yep, figured you'd want to see Farmer again."

"Like you're not going just to see Lindsay again. How was last night?"

"Just get your ass down here." Don laughed and the men rang off.

They managed to get in the building without having to buzz the apartment, which was unnerving when it came to safety but handy in keeping the element of surprise. Elizabeth – Iris's new apartment door was open and _La Cage Aux Folles_ accompanied with paint rollers poured into the hall. The men stopped at the threshold looking in on the activity. They went unnoticed until Danny spotted Lindsay. Lindsay heard him before seeing him.

"Oh!" She exclaimed, but it was lost in the eruption of laughter Danny broke into. She was wearing overalls. Overalls. As in stick hay in your mouth and call yourself Huck Finn.

"Shut up!" Lindsay exclaimed crossing her arms over her Dickies clad chest.

"Alright MONTANA." He put emphasis on her home state, she couldn't complain about hick jokes when she dressed like that.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, laugh it up. I only wear them when I'm working at home." She said defensively.

"Or on a barn." Elizabeth – Iris said announcing herself, she'd been drawn by the laughter. As Danny and Lindsay lovingly sparred over 'Country Folk' and 'City Slickers' Don approached Farmer.

"Stella sent this with me." He told her handing her the plant. She burst out laughing as she read the card, it made sense to her. He loved that laugh.

_Here's both…_

Stella had asked what she wanted for a housewarming gift. Elizabeth – Iris had off handedly replied,

"Do you have a tall, handsome friend I could go to dinner with, or maybe a houseplant?" Stella had given her both.

"Alright, enough chit chat ladies, this ain't no water cooler." Lindsay joked. "Hoxies this is Danny Messer and Don Flack, we work together at the lab." Gwen 'coughed' something to Karenina, it sounded like 'stallion'.

"Guys these are the rest of the Hoxies." Elizabeth – Iris took over the introductions. "Gwen Palen." She motioned to the red head. "And Karenina Woteki – Loewen."

"Wookiee." A tall blonde with an airy look and voice. Her pants and smock were covered in paint, her toe socks were brightly colored and her Birkenstocks screamed 'hippie'.

"This is the Hoxie husband, Peter Loewen." Lindsay said of the sole man aside from the newly arrived New Yorkers. He looked like an accountant, even in his crappy housework clothing. Incredibly straight laced, an odd match for the flower child.

"And this is the Hoxie baby." Elizabeth – Iris said warmly picking up a very young boy. I Heart my Nerd his shirt said, this must be the Loewen child. "Xavier."

"So give us a job." Danny said rubbing his hands together. Lindsay was in her element, she could reconstruct a crime scene or a barn.

"We're painting right now; we got everything primed last night, so you've got a choice, living room, and kitchen, one of the two bedrooms or kid detail." The Hoxies began getting back to work, Don took the guest bedroom, and Danny joined Lindsay and Gwen in the living room and hall. For a while La Cage, paint, and conversation were the soundtrack of the work.

"Goal!" Karenina exclaimed jumping up and down making the field goal sign.

"The kitchen is done." Peter happily translated for his wife who was still doing a victory dance.

"Excellent. Just in time for lunch." Lindsay said looking around the kitchen.

"Fffffoooooddddd." Elizabeth – Iris said dragging the word out in hunger.

"Great let's get a plan of action going." Lindsay said smiling, her friends groaned this was an inside joke.

"Lindsay has to plan spontaneity." Gwen said to Danny "People with OCD think she's anal retentive."

"Seriously. We're going to need to pick up the stuff for the kitchen as well as get groceries. And we need to feed Iris apparently." Lindsay said.

"Why don't we go get the boxes and you go get food." Karenina said pointing at Elizabeth - Iris.

"Fffffoooooddddd." Elizabeth – Iris said again. The group laughed. "Honestly sounds fine. I'll get you the list of boxes, any requests on lunch?"

"Make it edible." Lindsay said pulling a binder out of thin air, she flipped it open and Danny's eyes widened. There was a color coded diagram of the pod and an itemized list of its treasures.

"You call me anal." Lindsay exclaimed.

"There's so much chaos in my head, I need order in my life." Elizabeth – Iris replied. Her friends scoffed. "You laugh, but that's how I hopped the bar in a single bound."

"Well, miss super OCD thanks to your list we don't need you." Peter said taking the binder from his wife's best friend.

"You and Danny should take the boxes." Gwen said to Peter.

"Take Lindsay with you, she can probably life more…" Farmer commented nodding towards Lindsay, out of thin air she had produced a shopping list.

"Hey!" Peter exclaimed pouting dramatically.

"Oh sweetie, you know you're my Hercules." Karenina said wrapping her arms around his waist. "But Lindsay could kick your ass." The group laughed. It was so warm. That was what struck Don; these women were so comfortable with each other. And they were making him comfortable. This was homey.

"Hey, Don, why don't you help Farmer? She can find loopholes in any contract but she can't find her ass with both hands." Karenina said bending her head back to look at Don and Farmer while still physically facing her husband.

"She can't find her ass because she doesn't have one; she's built like a 13 year old boy." Gwen snapped. Farmer's build, or lack there of was one of the favorite digs of the girls. Don couldn't help but run his eyes up and down the woman in question. He didn't see a thirteen year old boy at all. If she was built anything like a thirteen year old boy he'd feel very dirty right now. He liked her butt, hell he liked everything about her.

"You're just an embittered leprechaun." Farmer replied the friends exchanged crass gestures.

Xavier toddled to Farmer and raised his arms. "Up" he said. Elizabeth – Iris did a complete 180 as she picked up the 'Hoxie Baby'.

"Alright, if the three stooges are getting the boxes – no offence Danny and Don is leading me around like my keeper what are you two going to do, think up clever zingers to attempt to use on me?" Elizabeth – Iris asked her two task less friends.

"They can clean the kitchen." Peter said, Karenina pushed him away as she and Gwen both screeched,

"What?" The group laughed. Peter simply grabbed his wife and kissed her deeply. One, two, three seconds…. The kiss continued and their friends began heckling.

"Come on GET A ROOM!" "You're not supposed to have sex anymore – you're married." Both Don and Elizabeth – Iris covered Xavier's eyes, hands touching. Sparks flying, tingles shooting through them both. They looked at teach other, it was a 'moment'.

"Thank God I don't have my couch yet, I'd loose it." Elizabeth – Iris called her friends laughed.

"Isn't that how you got it from me?" Gwen asked.

"No, I sold that one."

"She who fucks on the couch buys it." Lindsay explained. Danny nodded, thinking _Lindsay said fuck!_

"I'll change my clothing and we can go?" She asked looking up at Don.

"Sure." He said looking down at her. Another moment. Karenina and Peter finally came up for air.

"I can take him back now." Karenina held out her arms to take her son, Xavier put his arms around Elizabeth – Iris's neck.

"You scared him!" Farmer replied. "He stays with me." And she flounced off to change in her half finished bedroom. Don watched her go mesmerized, definitely not a thirteen year old boy. A hand on his shoulder snapped him out of it. He had to look down to see the speaker. Gwen had to raise her arm to touch him there.

"Isn't she fabulous?" she smiled.

"A whole lotta woman." He agreed. The red head agreed. _Don and Farmer sitting in a tree K - I - S - S - I - N - G. First comes love then comes marriage then comes the baby in the baby carriage! Farmer says Lindsay is going to give us minds to warp, but leave it to this guy and you might beat her dear._ Gwen thought smirking.

Elizabeth – Iris sat Xavier down on a box and found decent pants and a sweater. She dressed quickly hoping she looked alright, without looking like she was trying. The girls already thought something was up she didn't need to confirm it to the people who would give her hell about it. She wanted to look worthy of him, and she chide herself, she didn't need to look worthy of anybody. He wasn't some prize; she wasn't something to be judged. Xavier looked at her, was she so transparent that a baby could see through her?

"Don't look at me in that tone of voice." she said picking up the Hoxie heir. "What to go for a ride?"

"Ride!" Xavier cheered.

"Alright let's go shopping!"

"Shopping bad." The baby said making a face. Elizabeth – Iris laughed.

"Wookiee, Darling, your husband is warping your child."

"Did she say the S word Xav?" Peter asked. Xavier opened his mouth and stuck out his tongue, Peter did the same; they both shook their heads saying 'Bad'. Everyone laughed.

"Get a hobby." Elizabeth – Iris said as she headed for the door, Don got the keys from Peter (Their Ford Escape had the child safety seat.)

"Wave Bye – bye." Xavier said. They waved.

* * *

_So sorry for the terriblely long time between updates but I've been stupidly busy or blocked. I was studing for the AP US History National Exam for the last part of April, first part of May. The last part of March, first part of April was a barren wastland without ideas. But I'm inspired now, so as long as I can survive all my finals (early and on time) there should be more updates. We get out of school June 5th. grrr._

_XXOO,  
Streakie_


	19. Setting Up

In Hoxie We Trust

* * *

Disclaimer: I own my sense of reality; actual reality is out of my hands.

Sorry, it's been so long. I can't promise to get better either, I've been busy all summer and schools about to start. But for now here's a chapter to make up/ tide things over.

* * *

Chapter Eighteen: Setting Up

"How'd we get stuck cleaning again?" Gwen gripped as she whipped out the refrigerator.

"It's for the good of the cause." Karenina reminded her.

"Good of the cause" They better name their first born after me." Gwen detested cleaning.

"Who? Danny and Lindsay or Don and Farmer?"

"Which ever happy couple you were talking about. Makes me sick."

"You need to get laid, bitterness dulls the complexion."

"I've been having bad sex – that's what dulls the complexion. If I wanted to keep having bad sex I would've stayed married." She was on a roll. "I mean, I've been single again for something like six months – eight months – whatever." She tossed the sponge into the sink and Karenina paused the lining of the drawers, this was a major vent. "I'm back in the dating pool, I've had sex a few times – what I haven't had is a proper orgasm! They can fix my leaky faucet, no problem; find my G – spot, no way. It's m clitoris no the sphinx! Do I need to draw a map?"

"I had to draw a map for Peter." Karenina said trying to sound reassuring, not amused. Gwen paused.

"Wookiee, that was of the refrigerator, not your G – Spot."

"The fridge is a GE, its close enough." Karenina shrugged. "Food is orgasmic for him anyway."

"Ew!" Gwen cried covering her ears. "I did _not_ need to know that, that was an over share." The women laughed and got back to work.

"I wonder how 'the cause' is going."

Elizabeth – Iris fastened the squirming child into the shopping cart as Don thumbed through her shopping list. To the ignorant observer this would be a new age Norman Rockwell painting – man, wife, baby shopping together on a crisp afternoon in fall.

"Iris, this list is four pages long."

"Did you expect me to move all my food cross country, Don?" they began walking, Iris pushing the cart.

"What did you do with it all?" he asked.

"Wie sagt man 'wochenlange feier'?" he looked at her.

"huh?"

"Week long party, the week before I moved I cooked just about everything I had, then made lots of people eat it." The answer was satisfying.

"Cereal. Isn't that, I dunno, a little broad?" Don asked as they stood side by side looking down the cereal aisle. It was overwhelming.

"I left myself options." She began moving down the land of cereal.

"Chocula!" Xavier said pointing at a box of Count Chocula.

"Chocolate for breakfast doesn't count silly" Elizabeth – Iris cooed to the child as she reached for a box of Honey Bunches of Oats. Don picked the box up.

"Oh come on Iris. I'll help you eat it." _Oh, the implications._

"Alright." She caved.

"Who?" Xavier asked looking up at Don.

"Huh?" Don looked at the babe.

"Ame." He asked again.

"He's asking your name. Who are you?" Elizabeth – Iris translated into a full sentence as she crossed off 'cereal' with a flourish.

"Oh." Don said looking at the babe again. "Don."

"Don! Don, Don, Don!" Xavier clapped and smiled, Don liked making kids laugh, he was the favorite uncle for a reason. Even if the kid was laughing at his name.

"Donald Duck!" Don exclaimed before breaking into an impression. The baby broke into a laugh riot. Farmer looked up and laughed as don picked Xavier up, continuing to sound stupid. It hit Elizabeth – Iris like a cannon ball to the gut. Nice looking guy making a fool out of himself for a baby's laughter. It was too cute to be allowed. _You're swooning! _Elizabeth – Iris yelled at herself, but she couldn't stop the tug of her heart strings or the ticking of her biological clock. She was turning into one of those girls who lost their goddamn minds over chubby, screaming poop machines. But oh… a baby.

"Potty." Xavier said like a big boy. Don looked at the kid in his arms.

"Did he…?" he looked at Iris.

"Not yet, but one of us needs to take him, NOW. Me or you?" He'd never had to deal with this before, he was the load them with sugar and wind them up kind of guy.

"I got it." Show no fear. Elizabeth – Iris smiled, it was now worth it.

"Take my purse, there's some back up stuff in there, you know, just in case." _Great. _He didn't like the sound of 'just in case'. But 'show no fear' prevailed. Resolved Don slung the purple tote over his shoulder and headed or the men's room. As he walked off Iris cheekily noted, purple was his color.

The Olsen Pod was neatly arranged, just as the diagram showed. Peter read off the box number as Lindsay and Danny hunted. An hour later two CSI issue Tahoes containing dining for four and six boxes of kitchen 'stuff' headed back to the Olsen Pad.

Peter Lowen wasn't his wife, people were thankful, because that would be awkward and weird. He didn't know the ins and outs of his friends relationships and aside from his own romance he was really out of it when it came to love and tension. But even he, Mr. Dense, could pick up the 'vibes' between Danny and Lindsay in the short time the three were alone together.

They had only been parted for the time it took them to drive from the apartment to the storage unit. Yet when they saw each other again it was like they'd been separated for years. They worked well as a team, getting delegated jobs done in tandem. They shared both barbs and insights. Peter had known Lindsay since about 1993 when he began dating Karenina Woteki. He had to accept the Hoxie band and be accepted by it to marry one of the girls. And in the thirteen intimate years of knowledge Peter had never seen Lindsay as happy as she was with Danny.

As for Danny though Peter hadn't known him long he could still pick up a difference in him every time he looked at Lindsay. He wasn't fluid in expressions or implied between the lines but if those looks were like anything he felt for his wife… there'd be a wedding before Xavier went to school.

Xavier hadn't been a problem, much to Don's relief. Everything went smoothly. The kid couldn't stand and pee yet, but that would come as soon as he could get his one eyed trouser snake over the stool. He felt ridiculously weird carrying a toddler and a purple purse into the men's room but no one else batted an eye. To them he was just Dad on potty patrol. Dad. People thought he was a father. The weight of that fully hit him when he held Xavier up to wash their hands. Daddy. He could be one. And people probably thought Iris was mom. He had figured out how babies were made when he was about eight, and from that point his Ma would tell him 'if you're so educated you can't have any accidents.' When he lost his virginity at 18 he made sure there were no accidents and from every encounter since he'd done the same. His entire sexual life was spent avoiding being a Daddy. And yet as he stepped back out into the supermarket, bag on his shoulder, kid on his hip he thought _Maybe a kid would be fun if they all behave like Xavier. Maybe a little girl with dark hair, fair skin, and big Iris colored eyes…_ Speaking (thinking) of Iris she wasn't in the aisle he left her in. He headed down the row looking down the other aisle; she wasn't in any of them. He doubled back like she was going to reappear where he'd verified she wasn't.

"Looking for someone Honey?" the grandmotherly cheese sample lady asked as he started round two of his search. Don paused.

"Yeah. She's about yeah high" He motioned to a spot between shoulder and elbow, "Early thirties, dark hair, wearing a zip up hoodie and jeans." He sounded like he was providing eye witness description.

"Oh yes, she's such a cute girl and you three make such a nice family picture, your boy is such a cute little thing, how old is he?"

"Gets it all from his mother." Xavier did look like Karenina as a little boy, but this lady wouldn't know that. "He's two." It was a guess.

"Oh what an age, I remember when my girls were that little, oh they grow up so fast…." And a ramble was born. Don stood there shifting baby and bag from arm to arm trying to find a transition into locating his 'wife' and getting her to shut up. Little old ladies loved him for some reason.

"There you are!" Elizabeth – Iris appeared at his elbow in the nick of time, any longer and he would've fallen asleep standing up.

"Here I am? Where were you?" He exclaimed Xavier reached over to 'Mom'. Iris collected him in her arms and smile over his blonde little head. Yeah, the blonde haired, blue eyed babe totally looked like their kid. With their dark hair and eyes, the resemblance was uncanny.

"I finished up the list, we can pick up lunch and head home." She told him. Mavis the long winded waved them off, cooing about how cute they were.

"You and the fifth golden girl were sure hitting it off well, should I be jealous?" she asked teasingly. _Yes, but because you love me, not because of the old lady. Wait… love… What the fuck?_

"Old ladies love me, what can I say. And she thinks you're my old lady and Xavier's ours so I don't feel you need to worry." Iris looked down at Xavier, now clipped back in the child seat, and then at Don.

"Really? He looks nothing like us." The funny quirk in her brow was endearing.

"That's more your area than mine." She faked outrage and slapped at his shoulder.

"I swore off blondes a few years ago." She said as they approached the check out.

"Oh really." _Are you for brunettes now? _

"I'm more for the tall, dark, and handsome." She shot him a smile. _THANK YOU!_ Don smiled. "Hey, why don't you call Linds and see when she's going to work and tell everyone were on our way." Don stepped out with his phone as Elizabeth – Iris paid for her groceries.

"So what'd you cook?" Elizabeth – Iris asked as Don headed them home, back seat full of bags.

"Thai sound good to you?"

"The spicy kind?"

"Definitely."

"Hell yes." Mississippi John Hurt filled the car as the pair headed off to picking up the food.

"About damn time you showed up. We set up your kitchen without you!" Gwen said as they walked in the door loaded down with babe and the first set of bags.

"How the hell did you do that?" she asked setting the in the middle of the living room now also finished.

"You haven't changed it up since you got your first place." Karenina said taking her son from Don smiling evilly at her friend.

"I have too! Some times I didn't have cabinets over my oven so my cookbooks had to go someplace else."

"Hey, hey, enough chit chat." Lindsay said rushing into the room putting her earrings in as she moved; she was getting ready for work in a hurry. Danny was on her heels buttoning a clean shirt.

"We just got beeped where's the eats?"

"Still in the car, grab some food for the road; I'm going down to get the last of everything." Don said.

"I'll start unpacking." Elizabeth – Iris said embracing her now professional looking girlfriend. "Don't do anything I wouldn't do." She whispered in her ear.

"Farmer, there's nothing you wouldn't do."

"Oh yeah, have at it." The room laughed.

"See you after work." As soon as the trio from the NYPD left Peter turned to the remaining Hoxies.

"Fifty says they fuck before this time next month."


	20. Settling In

In Hoxie We Trust

* * *

Disclaimer: I own my sense of reality; actual reality is out of my hands.

* * *

Chapter Nineteen: Settling In

Being down Danny and Lindsay didn't slow down the work on Farmer's apartment. Being the only one who could drive in the city (with a complete disregard for all human life, including his own), Don was in charge of running to and from the storage unit. Usually with Peter who seemed totally unfazed by the comfortable insanity going on in the east village. The girls could name any tune in three notes and would insist on singing the entire song, including instrumental solos, at the top of their off key lungs. There was nothing quite like three boisterous women head banging to 'Bohemian Rhapsody'. Not that he was complaining, they didn't judge his oh – so – very – bad tenor. Of course they forced him to sing in the first place, Peter went along with it like a trained show dog.

"Four wives does that to a guy." He explained casually in the quite of the Tahoe.

"Has your junk just up and shrunk away?" Don asked as the light changed. Peter laughed.

"Scoff all you want but the Hoxies are the best sisters you could ask for. They come as a set, but it's not like the store bought ones where all but one or two sits on the shelf. They're fantastic ladies."

Lindsay would be spending a lot more time in his life in any thing became of him and Iris. But Danny was his closest friend so a relationship with a Hoxie would be beneficial. He was sure Iris would love that logic. But he could handle three women extra if he could have the love of one. He was pretty confident about being in the good books, with a little help from Danny, Lindsay would be easy to turn and he'd be golden.

"Donny Angel, how I love him, how I tingle when he passes by…"

"Sweetheart, it's Johnny Angel, not Donny. _Johnny_." Gwen said shaking a book accusingly at her friend. The sun kissed living room was next to be put together.

"The Johnny I knew was no Angel, so I say it's Donny." Elizabeth – Iris replied taking the book and placing it on the newly erected shelves.

"You got it bad girl." Karenina observed bouncing Xavier.

"Thank you MOTO. Have you jumped him yet?" Gwen had a certain way around questions.

"No. We haven't been on a date yet. But God I want to." Elizabeth – Iris said dreamily.

"Oh sweetie, why wait? There can be just as many problems if you fuck him on the first date or the tenth." Karenina said still bouncing her son.

"Ten dates? Sex? Oh for the love of God the married mother has a better sex life than I do!" Gwen exclaimed throwing up her hands.

"There needs to be a considerable amount more wine around to be having that conversation." Peter announced the men's return unfazed entirely. Elizabeth – Iris blushed and couldn't meet Don's eyes.

Farmer was very attractive flushed. _What on earth were they talking about? _Was all Don could think, deep down he hoped there was a mention of him; because Iris + Him + Sex Good Idea. But logic was a real killjoy and told him otherwise. There was a kind of hush in the room and the next thing Don and Iris knew the Hoxies were gone. _Some friends I've got._ Elizabeth – Iris ruefully thought.

"So…" Don said slowly, probably trying to figure out what the hell was going on.

"So…" She repeated with no excuse but the cotton tongue she associated with him.

"So where does this go, it's heavy." She looked at the box in his hands. More books.

"Any where is fine. How much more is in the car?"

"This is the last of it."

"Good you can help me shelve or hang pictures. Something tall."

"You two traveling together?" Stella asked not looking up from the body. Her implications were subtlety unsubtle.

"We were helping Farmer move." Lindsay defensively.

"Yeah and what was with the plant?" Danny chipped in. Stella smiled.

"Just helping her get settled."

The Vic's name was Harrison Shirley, 39, shot in the back of the head twice, the groin once.

"Like a lover scorn." Danny muttered as he photographed.

"Can turn a rooster to a hen in one shot." Lindsay agreed.

Processing the scene was very routine. Clues and crazy witnesses were compiled and taken back to the lab to be sorted. Sometimes regular and ordinary was nice.

Danny and Lindsay left work together at the end of two shifts, there was nothing to do but wait on the results and Lindsay was chomping at the bit to be back with Farmer. So they returned to the Hoxie Apartment 2.0.

"I'm not in love, so don't forget it. It's just a silly phase I'm going through, and just because I call you up, don't get me wrong, don't think you've got it made, I'm not in love, no-no."

"Oh good Lord no! Not 10CC!" Lindsay announced their return with musical judgment. Danny was surprised she new such a variety of songs. And trivia. There was new stuff to be learned every day. Seeing her with her friends was the best lab study he could do.

"The occasion called for it." Karenina said walking through the living room, son on her hip eating celery from the Bloody Mary in her hand. Quite an image.

"Details por favor." Lindsay said putting her bag and coat in the closet.

"Running off you to your job means you missed out on some of the stuff." Gwen said joining Karenina in the living room. "Like most of the work."

"Which means you get to mix the next round." Peter called from the kitchen. For the longest time he was the only bartender for the group. As the only man sometimes it was more comfortable for him to hide in the kitchen than to listen to the dish of the day.

"Well if we're still on the first round I'll take the usual. You want anything Danny?"

"Whatever's strongest."

"What else did I miss?" Lindsay asked plopping down on the burgundy sofa between her friends; Danny took a seat on the ottoman.

"Well there was a lot of Cleopatra…" Gwen snipped over her Cosmopolitan.

"Where is Queenie?" Lindsay asked.

"She and Anthony disappeared into her bedroom, there's been some giggles and murmurs, but no screams; so they're either really really slow on doing it, or she's gagged." A titter rang out from the bedroom along with a thunk and some murmurs.

"Well, she ain't gagged." Karenina observed. Danny stood and ran a hand through his hair.

"I'm going to 'casually go to the bathroom' and check up on Tony and Cleo."

Danny walked down the buttercup hallway now covered in more than paint. Black and white pictures of Breakfast at Tiffany's/ Audrey Hepburn as well as the Hoxies imitating it.

Elizabeth – Iris's bedroom door was open, letting the lush lavender and brown peek into the hall. Her apartment was like a box of Crayolas threw up on her walls, but it seemed to fit her. Speaking of her, Elizabeth – Iris was bouncing on her brown silk covered bed with a pillow high above her head. Don was bating at her. Pillow fight! He continued to the bathroom, which was done in cream and lavender, with interesting portraits, undoubtedly done by Hoxie girl Wookiee. Exhibitions in the bathroom. Danny shrugged, interesting things were not out of the ordinary here.

"SCRABBLE!" Karenina, Gwen, and Lindsay cried excitedly as Elizabeth – Iris finished TWO bedrooms with the help of Don.

"This isn't going to distract us from-" Gwen then added, but was cut off by Farmer.

"You're up for drinks, aren't you Wookster?" She wasn't going to take any crap. Lindsay cleared the coffee table; she wasn't going to cast aspersions with Danny around the apartment. The scrabble board was old and worn, denoting college play and beyond. The spots were faded and there was graffiti and drink splatters.

"Peter, darlin', pick us some letters. Orders?" Red wine, two beers, a Cosmo, a martini, white Russian, and another bloody Mary. Serious drinks were required for serious wordsmith – ing.

"Make mine stiff K – Dog!" Gwen yelled sitting down on the burgundy sofa and picking out seven letters. She could feel the hell of being a single woman with friends in relationships. There were seven adults in the room and four players for the game. She would have to partner with Xavier. Peter and Karenina were married, thus always partners. As for the other four, she'd spent too many nights listening and plotting about Danny and Lindsay to break up any time they could be a couple. And Farmer and Don were just so damn sweet it made her teeth hurt. She'd just resign herself to her fate, getting inebriated and spelling words with a two year old. Peter took the spot on the couch opposite Gwen and Xavier between them. Danny offered Lindsay the Fjord Armchair, a red asymmetrical egg chair like item from a modern art store. Once his lady love was settled he took a seat at her feet, leaning back against her legs as a rest. It was sweet, it was romantic. It was enough for Gwen to reach for her freshly refilled cocktail. Being out of love was like standing in a blizzard and looking in the windows of a warm cabin with a fireplace blazing.

Don and Elizabeth – Iris tried to do the same, but for all of the man's gallantry she laughed at him and practically pushed him down into the over stuffed red velvet chair.

"You way too tall Don." She told him. She then, in true Elizabeth – Iris Olsen fashion perched herself in his lap. Gwen settled Xavier in hers and looked at her letters. N – A – O – K – S – S – Y.

"Age, beauty, or alphabet?" Lindsay asked.

"Noah's the only objective choice." Peter said logically. Don and Elizabeth – Iris were then first. They whispered conspiratorially over their letters. Farmer then leaned forward and placed H-O-L-E on the board.

Elizabeth – Iris Olsen was something else. Don did his best not to admire her body as she moved about him in a way that reminded him of his late night erotic rendezvous with her in his dreams. He had tried to play the gentleman, offering her the last of the comfy chairs but she would not have it, using his height against him. Eventually they reached an impasse and she rectified the situation by pushing him down and hopping on board. Damn. She sat across his lap and he thanked God for small favors, it would delay the realization time with his inevitable woody. He'd never been this way before; just the smell of her hair tested his self control. He never thought he'd be this way either. Every thing was new, and stimulating. Maybe it was because he was thirty. Or maybe it was because everything with his Iris was or new adventure. Typically a woman in his lap would not expect him to spell and an erection would be encouraged. Red velvet would be reserved for picking men up at bars and the kinky sex games afterwards. If he had been moving any other friend right now he'd be watching Sportscenter, random draw beer in his hand complaining about shit. That dumb shit that made him move all their shit. The heavy shit, the ugly shit. The shit head that didn't do shit, those who had to shit. Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit. But no, here they were playing a highbrow game of Scrabble and he was drinking a nice, sweet Killians Red instead of a twelve pack sale of Bud or Miller. There was a guy, a straight guy, drinking wine over beer, he was a metro nerd with a skinny blonde wife as hot as Uma Thurman1. It wasn't something he was used to. But then he wasn't used to the sight of his best friend sitting at anyone's feet let alone the Montanan Daisy that was Lindsay Monroe. Daisy? Yes, she was a simple beauty, a wild flower that seemed to be able to survive anywhere.

"Asshole." Gwen Palen; Hoxie girl, Cosmo girl, and partner with a two year old announced laying out her tiles. There were some laughs from the peanut gallery.

"Your son found the word." She pointed out.

"An ass man already?" Iris said, laying her head on his shoulder, it was such a peaceful, romantic pose with such a bold and blunt talk. Two worlds meeting as one.

"You always go for what you don't got." Lindsay said slinging back her White Russian. Peter smiled at his wife.

"Don't worry honey, I've never been one for asses."

"Assholes! That's what all of you are. Assholes!" she threw an 's' onto the word. Lindsay and Danny laughed and whispered to each other. Don was a butch guy but they just looked so damn cute. They took the 's' at the end of Assholes and added an E – A – M.

"Seaman." She whispered in his ear, voice husky and alto. DAMN! This was hard and he was about to be too. Semen. He looked at the board. Oh, Seaman, as in Navy guy. Iris laid the tiles down and grabbed more. Gwen and the babe comedic-ly conversed for a moment before Gwen laid out the new word. N-O-O-K-Y. There was another roar of laughter.

"My son did not come up with that one!" Karenina exclaimed, but she was smiling to broadly to convince anyone she was upset.

"No that one was me." Gwen said.

"Real mature. How old are you, twelve?" Lindsay asked.

"I'm growing older but not up. Anyway ya'll laughed so you're just as bad." Gwen replied sticking her tongue out.

Elizabeth – Iris laid her head on Don's neck; she could feel the vibrations of his laughter and smell his soap and masculinity. She was in danger, great danger of falling in love. And yet she couldn't bring herself to get out of the way. She had been a little risky and a little frisky when she settled herself across him to play the game, expecting a different out come or a different feeling but she was still on his lap and her heart was doing a gymnastics routine the likes of which she'd never felt before. She tried to ignore it, she tried to drink her martini but it was empty.

"Anybody else down to the olives?" She asked. Maybe the red of the kitchen would clear her head.

"Yo!" Gwen and the rest of the Hoxies and the Men raised their hands. _Good _Elizabeth – Iris thought, she'd have lots of things to do.

"Whose driving and when?" She added as a follow up, if it was just the Hoxies and the Husband they could get drink as a skunk and it wouldn't matter, they'd all stay, in their sordid history of one glass too many they'd spent many times sharing beds and couches and floors. However Danny and Don were a new element to the mix. And while she knew she wouldn't mind hopping back into bed with Don, and maybe even doing some things and blaming it on the martinis; and Lindsay would probably enjoy the same with Danny, there would be no way in hell they could live it down. Don and Danny looked at each other then at her clock.

"Not for a while yet, we'll let you know when it gets off the bottom." Danny said. _Bottom?_ Elizabeth – Iris looked at her clock. It was six thirty. Bottom – as in the bottom of the clock. She hadn't heard anybody outside of the swim team use that term in years. She narrowed her eyes at Danny; Lindsay's terminology was rubbing off on him.

"Six thirty already?" Lindsay piped up; she knew what it meant, solidifying Farmer's suspicions. "Aren't you going to feed us?"

"Hey, I just got here, I can't find a damn thing so if you want take out you have to get it yourself. Or I could make something." Elizabeth – Iris countered before walking into the kitchen. Lindsay popped up, knocking Danny in the back of the head.

"I'm buying." Elizabeth – Iris smiled; she knew threatening them with food got whatever she wanted. She couldn't cook like Lindsay could, at least not without at least one small fire or explosion. She did love entertaining though. Danny followed her to the coat rack.

"I know just the place." And they left again. From the kitchen Farmer could hear Gwen's gagging sounds.

"My teeth!" She exclaimed. Gwen was always the cynical one, even when she was happy in her marriage she was very deadpan about it. She didn't go for big sweet signs of affection unless she could rip it to shreds. Elizabeth – Iris liked to laugh, but when she was a lover, she wanted the world to be a lover. She didn't care who your lover was or what you were doing in a public street as long as you had someone. Oh, and you didn't scare the horses. Although she doubted that outside of central park there had been horses in a very, very long time. So have at it.

"I better go make room for another round." Peter said, she heard the bathroom door close before Karenina spoke.

"Goes through him worst than coffee."

"That's because he's old." Gwen said.

"Hey, what does that make me, I'm his wife!" Karenina playfully squawked.

"Old! Because one, you're talking about your husband's peeing habits and two, you married him." Farmer called putting ice in her martini glass to chill it.

"Hey! You ain't exactly a spring chicken!"

"All of you are old!" Peter could be heard from the bathroom. "Now stop talking about me while I'm trying to pee!" There was laughter. Shortly after Elizabeth – Iris heard Gwen enter the kitchen and go out onto the fire escape. Farmer thought nothing of it, sweetness would send Gwen to hid for a few minutes but she'd come back in and rain on everyone's parade and be done with it. She finished up the cosmopolitan and turned to take it out to her, the drinks were done except to grab Don a beer, which she could do after dropping off this one drink and poking some fun at the romanphobic. But as she looked out the window she saw a very faint pocket of smoke around her friends head. Elizabeth – Iris set the glass down and joined her friend on the escape.

"I thought we'd kicked this habit." Farmer said as announcement.

"We did when I got married. Well, I'm not married any more." Farmer sat down on the stairs going to the apartment above hers. Even a therapist needed to vent.

"How long?" Gwen had smoked as a freshman and the Hoxies had spent the next eight or ten years trying to get her to quit.

"Not very, I'm not used to them like I was, my body likes to breath."

"Maybe that's a sign Gwendolyn." Elizabeth – Iris said firmly.

"I just can't take it any more though. Everyone's so happy right now! The married woman's single…" she puffed on her fag2.

"Are you sad about the divorce?" Elizabeth – Iris asked, regretting the divorce party she had thrown in her honor.

"Which part – the no more Greg part? No. But how I found out? Not knowing, being so fucking blind and stupid? Hell yes, I'm sad, I'm pissed. I'm doubting and I'm hating and I'm sobbing." Elizabeth – Iris hugged her friend.

"At least you had the balls to kick him out. I let Noah get away with it the first time."

"YOU WHAT?" This was news to Gwen; Farmer hadn't told a soul what she had done. That party they had thrown all those years ago wasn't about just the break up but her finally growing a back bone.

"I just let it slide, he told me he'd never do it again and that he was scared of loving me and it was all just the motions and his heart was with me the whole time and all this other shit and I bought it like I buy shoes." Gwen exhaled the smoke. "Now why don't you give me the cigarette and you go back to the other social disease you have. Everything's made, you just need to grab Don a beer." The friend handed over the slim cylinder and headed back into the kitchen.

Don entered the apple red food room looking for Elizabeth – Iris, being a non Hoxie made it awkward to be around the Hoxie couple without someone to guide him through it all. That and he missed her already. For all his worry about her on his lap he couldn't get enough of it. Gwen Palen, another Hoxie was all he met in the kitchen though. From behind her he could see the fire escape and hear the throaty sounds of a really good coughing fit. He raised a dark brow at the Hoxie.

"Your beer is still in the fridge, if you need a map talk to Peter, he's very good with the interiors of ice chests. Farmer's on the escape if you're looking for something else." And with that she swept by him, _I Bet You'll Vote Next Time Hippie_ shirt and all sass. He stepped through the window exit and found his Iris sitting on the railing of the balcony cigarette dangling from her slim index and middle finger as she covered her mouth while she hacked and spluttered.

"What are you doing?" He asked her. She took a deep breath and put the butt in her mouth. She looked inane.

"Trying to stop smoking." He walked over and took the thing out of her mouth, fingers brushing her lips. They were soft, but he wasn't going to think about that.

"Yeah, a hacking cough is a sign you should." He said sticking the end in his mouth and puffing. Back in high school he'd tried a pack. It made basketball hell and his mom had a radar for things that were 'fun' but also very 'bad'.

"It makes sense though, I don't smoke, I'm asthmatic. Gwen on the other hand is stressed as hell and has a stash hidden somewhere. I can't justify her spending that much, so I'm trying to get rid of them more appropriately." She said.

"This was Gwen's?" He asked pulling it out of his mouth and looking at the ashen end. _Ew._ It was a little fifth grade but it was like he'd just kissed Gwen.

"It was in Gwen's mouth then it was in mine, now it's in yours. So it's like I kissed Gwen and you kissed me." He'd have preferred their first kiss to be a little different but he went with it.

"So why didn't you just let her finish the pack on her own or at least this one?" he asked exhaling out of the side of his mouth.

"She just got divorced a few months ago, I was worried she'd slip back into some old vices."

Elizabeth – Iris hated smoking and it wasn't all because she was an inhaler toting weenie. She wasn't fond of smokers either, she respected humans, as was her policy but she did think you look like an idiot. But Don Flack with a cigarette brought the sexy back to the tobacco. The sexy from James Dean or the Marlboro man. He finished it quickly, stamping it on the railing before it reached the filter. He then flicked it onto the iron of escape. She followed the butt travel. It landed at his sock feet.

"You're out here in your socks?!" She exclaimed, the gold toes wiggled. "Your feet must be freezing."

"You're the one who's barefoot Iris." He said pointing at her bare toes. "They're already blue!" she looked down.

"That's my nail polish silly." She said swatting his arm. In a flash he had bent and slung her over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.

"HEY! What the hell?!" She exclaimed beating her fists on his back in a playful manor.

"Nobody in their right mind would paint their toe nails blue, your feet are about to fall off if we don't get you back inside." Don said laughing. In reality he had given into the insane urge to touch her. At that moment it was the only important thing and he had gone with it.

Danny and Lindsay walked a few blocks over, outside it was getting chilly but Lindsay felt very warm, very very warm and it wasn't her white Russian friend creating the heat. Danny was touching her. Deliberately touching her. She'd never been this giddy over holding hands since she was thirteen and it seemed like an actual step in a relationship. She then got older and found it to be the most skipped out of them all. Things were more like baseball; First base French, Second Fondle, Third Finger, Home Fuck. There was no cutesy touching and sweet pecks unless you were a 1950s TV show. But Danny was different. He was slow, he was sweet, he was holding her hand and proud to be doing so. She felt like a queen. But then she did anytime she was with Danny.

* * *

1 I've pictured Wookie as looking like Uma Thurman pre Kill Bill – a little bohemian and not as kick ass. Gwen is like Gillian Andrews, Peter is Matthew Broderick looking. Elizabeth – Iris always reminds me of Sarah Silverman.

2 As in cigarette.


	21. Basking in Your Glory

In Hoxie We Trust

* * *

Disclaimer: I own my sense of reality; actual reality is out of my hands.

* * *

Chapter Twenty: Basking in your Glory

The Scrabble party broke up around one, after the rules completely changed and they drank a few pots of coffee. The Woteki – Lowen clan were staying in a hotel in midtown and Lindsay drove them over there before promising to call a cab and be delivered to her door. They boys went home together, just as they came. Gwen crashed in the freshly put together guest bedroom, and Elizabeth – Iris stayed up all night long in her own freshly put together room, sitting and thinking. Oh God, why couldn't her mind shut off? Ever since she'd dumped Noah thirteen years ago she became a new woman. A take no prisoners, I want it, I'll take it kind of person. Men came and went but she never let anything about herself change, her heart was in check, her head in the game. I'll see ya Friday or I won't. The only thing that could make her hum was a good orgasm and even then none of them had felt like this. Her mind seemed to have a mind of its own. It wasn't just remembering every touch and every word, every sight and every smell, it was making things up! He never kissed her at her door, he didn't grab her and spin her around during the pillow fight, he dumped her unceremoniously into the chair not the bed when he was carrying her. She sat up in bed and couldn't get his mind off of him. If she couldn't sleep she could organize, her closet (all seven feet of rod spread out between three spaces) needed attention.

Don was also up, awake and humming, but instead of chastising himself for remembering and elaborating he was putting his active mind to work. "Fuck" seed to be the only thing he could get out between his clenched teeth as he tried to hold off orgasm a little longer, she hadn't said it yet. "Iris" seemed to be the other thing. He'd never masturbated this much, ever, let alone while thinking about one particular woman. The runner up was nonspecific, hot, faceless chick. But not tonight or many of the other nights no this was Elizabeth – Iris Olsen. He was going at it like he had just discovered that stroking an erection felt good. He was definitely going to go blind, if he hadn't already. He seemed to go blind when he was with her. Hootie and the Blowfish was invading his masturbatory fantasies but he didn't care she had just said those three little words and he was off like a bottle rocket. Thank God his apartment was sound proof; his scream of "Iris" combined with his orgasm shook his fillings. He lay there for a few minutes, trying to catch his breath. After the blood stopped pounding in his ears he got out of bed and cleaned himself up. Another pair of boxers, another time washing his hands and running cool water on his face, another night of feeling lonely.

He'd never admit what the three little words were. But they sure as hell weren't 'You've got Mail' or something else like that. No he'd never admit to himself what he wanted her to say, admitting it changed everything, gave the words more meaning than they already carried.

His Sunday shift was relatively light, he always preferred when the events were relatively mundane. No Alien Ladies or a body hanging from the ceiling and it was a good day.

Monday rolled around, he was back working with Stella and Lindsay, they had wrapped Rooster boy; it was a slightly more twisted case of screwing around. Harrison Shirley dumped a woman and turned around and got married and had kids. The ex channeled a mix of Alanis Morissette's "You Oughta Know" and Lorena Bobbit. Don renewed his vow to never cheat in a relationship. But he digressed and looked back down at the body of Mary Ellis, a 19 year old girl laying in the bushes. Sid Hammerback was doing his once over. Don pointed to a red stain between her legs.

"What's that? Another injury?" The girl had been stabbed a few times in odd places, it was plausible. He was hoping it was death blood, not the other kind. Even though he had a mom and two sisters he didn't like the big 'P' word.

"I'll look" Sid said taking the girls pants down, her panties were tie dyed, he took them down as well. A cotton string dangled between the legs. Don couldn't suppress the

"Ew. Tell me that's not a… a…" Stella, who had been photographing the bush looked over at the other one, she smiled and looked up.

"Okay, I won't tell you it's a tampon string, happy now?"

"She's riding the cotton pony, really?" Lindsay asked popping up from looking at the ground around the body. "Statistically we should run in to more of them but this is my first."

"What a way to go." Stella said.

"Well really she probably wanted to die anyway; she's hating herself and drowning in blood and in pain for an entire week…" Lindsay said.

"Well, at least he didn't get her pregnant." Stella chimed in. The women were having a good time, freely talking about the… the 'P' word. Even Sid joined in. Although from what Sheldon and Danny had told him Sid didn't have an Ew factor he'd say what ever was on his mind, even if it involved him and a burlesque dancer. Another ew.

"Oh you poor women and your PMS, we men, we get UMS and you don't hear us complain. Right Flack?" Don looked at the older man.

"UMS?" He mouthed.

"Urgently missing sex." Stella and Lindsay groaned. Don had to admit it was a little funny, but it still was connected to the menstrual cycle. He got the shivers.

"I'm going to go do some foot work." He said retreating. He could hear Lindsay turning to Stella,

"I think we scared him."

Don was in the CSI break room going over his notes, nursing the slightly better coffee than what he got at his own office, trying not to think about Iris or the vic in the park. It was working reasonably well. Danny was swearing at his food in the microwave, Lindsay was laughing at him and eating her no cooking required sandwich. Stella and Mac entered, the gang (except for Hawkes) was all there. The banter should help get the image of a tamp- out of his head. He could do blood and guts, get sick he wouldn't but that little roll of cotton was kryptonite. Stella slid into the chair across from him.

"What do you know about Bloody Mary?" she asked.

"Who?" He asked.

"The vic from the park, the one who was having arts and crafts week at panty camp."

"The painters were in." Lindsay told Danny, who was just as confused with her explanation as he was with Stella's.

"Oh, Mary Ellis." Don said, maybe if he told them everything they'd quit with the 'I'm having my euphemisms today' and get on with everything. "Well her roommate said she was staying with her aunt this week…" He began.

"It wasn't Aunt Floe was it?" Lindsay asked. Mac seemed to catch on to what they were talking about, but in true Mac fashion he didn't bat an eye, just focused on the report in his hand and the coffee in the pot.

"Aunt Annie." He said giving them a look. "She didn't have any enemies, didn't have many friends, was shy, quite, liked her books. Didn't have a boyfriend."

"Ah, so she was out trolling for Vampires." Stella said.

"What the hell are you two talking about?" Danny finally broke down and asked, Lindsay smiled and whispered in his ear. The expression was priceless.

"I really can't believe you didn't get the hints Messer, most of these terms were thought up by men, we women just say what it is. I'm feeling Menstru-riffic."

"Panty shields up, Captain!" Lindsay added, "Or Saddling old Rusty. Which was funny because that was my grandpa's horse's name back in the day."

"The sickest one I heard was…" Stella began, Don braced himself, he didn't have any pride he would've jammed his fingers in his ears and hummed loudly, but damn he did have prided. "Taking Carrie to Prom." There were groans, even Mac laughed a little but he soon returned to military man.

"There will be no more menstruation jokes, period." The women erupted in laughter. Even the man himself couldn't keep a straight face. Wiping his eyes he said he was serious and left. Danny's food dinged, and the women made to continue their conversation else where, but before she left Lindsay handed Don a purple piece of legal paper. He looked at her.

"Don't look at me, I honestly didn't read it, Farmer just asked me to deliver it to you."

"Why didn't she give it to me Saturday?" He asked.

"She just thought of it over breakfast this morning."

"You did breakfast?" Don asked, _Why wasn't I invited?_ It was a silly thought but the question was already cross his lips.

"The Hoxies had to walk her to work like it was the first day of kindergarten. She's not going to be able to live it down for a while." And with that she flounced out of the room. He'd never seen Lindsay flounce before. The Hoxies were bringing out colors in her he would've totally missed. Danny watched her go, much more appreciative than he was.

"So, open it." Danny said sitting opposite him, in the chair Stella had vacated.

"I feel like I'm in tenth grade biology all over again." Don said; passing notes, it was a little high school.

"Well after that last conversation… it's kind of like bio class. Now what does she say?" Don unfolded the piece of paper but held it to his chest.

"It's for me nosy parker. Get your own notes." Danny stuck his tongue out at his friend before stuffing his mouth with reheated leftovers. Don looked down at the lavender page.

_Don, _Her writing was in perfect looking cursive, the D touched the top and bottom line, the o and the n were exactly half the height of the line, everything looked to be perfectly vertical, no slants. Don's own hand writing was a messy print that looked like it was running forward and hitting a wall. Sort of crunched and leaning to the right.

_Don't forget you're mine this Friday. Pick me up at six. The suit you wear to work will do fine for wardrobe. Call me if you have questions, but don't expect me to tell you everything – it is a surprise after all._ Other than the indention at the beginning of her short paragraph she had no respect for the margin lines, choosing to write from one edge of the paper to the other. She skipped a line and indented again.

_Much love,_

_Iris_

_555 – 2354_ Much love, Iris. He wanted to tare that bit out and put it in his wallet but Danny was watching him keenly over his lunch.

"WHAT?" He asked, Danny just laughed.

"Nothing." Don glared at his friend and stuck the note into the inside pocket of his jacket.

Tuesday and Wednesday flew by with little thought outside of the cases he was working, at least while he was at work. Don had developed a fantasy habit that would rival a die hard Lord of the Rings fan. But he managed to keep himself focused on work while he was there. And because he was juggling four cases at the moment it was for the best that he was a dull boy for a while. He didn't even notice that half of his week was gone until he tore off the pages of his day by day Far side calendar. Thursday. Tomorrow was Friday, Iris. _Oh Shit._ What was he going to do? What was he even doing?

"Hello?" Don smiled at the sound of his five year old nephew's voice.

"Hi Scuba Steve! Can you get Mommy for me?"

"MOM!" Steven yelled, not moving the phone from his mouth. Don winced, but laughed, his Scuba was a noisy boy. He loved it. "MOM! It's Uncle Don." He could hear his sister muttering something about yelling. "Bye Uncle Don." Steven handed the phone off to his mother. Gina Flack – Coppola was Don's older sister, she lived with her English Teacher husband, Giovanni, in a small home in Brooklyn. They had a classic sibling relationship. She was the big sister, easy target, uncool, too bossy for her own good. And he was the annoying little brother, who messed with her shampoo and hid her shoes? Look no further.

"What'd ya do?" As she matured she had turned that bossy attitude into a no nonsense one.

"Can't a man call his sister?" he replied, settling himself in his recliner. He was on call, but not at the top of the list. There was a 70 – 40 chance he'd get called.

"A man like you? No. So what'd ya do?"

"Well I'm not really sure yet…" And he proceeded to tell her everything. If anyone would know what gestures said what to a woman it'd be a woman. And Gina would tease him to no end but she'd keep his secrets. And she didn't know any of the same people he did except from what he told her so there was no fear telling her everything. He loved Stella, he really did, and for something she was a guru but she worked with/ knew everyone in this particular situation and he was a bit wary of that, one of her famous barbs and the world would know too much. But Gina he could tell everything and she'd revile nothing. If only he had known this growing up.

He told her that Elizabeth – Iris was one of Lindsay's best friends. He mentioned the effect that she had on Lindsay and the dynamic it added to hers and Danny's relationship. He mentioned house hunting with her, and moving her. He didn't tell her about the masturbation, but he did tell her about some of his feelings. He tried not to tell her how sappy he was but he was afraid she knew.

"She wrote me a note about it." He said.

"How'd she put things?" Gina asked, he could just picture his sister sitting at the Pottery Barn table legs resting on a second perfectly matched chair, short dark hair dancing across her features as she shook her head at her brother's life.

"Don, don't forget you're mine this Friday. Pick me up at six. The suit you wore to work will do fine for wardrobe. Call me if you have questions, but don't expect me to tell you everything – it is a surprise after all. Much love, Iris. 555 – 2354." He rattled off from memory, not needing to consult the slip of paper tucked into the secret pocket in his wallet.

"You kept the note?" Gina asked. He felt himself color under his sister's tone of voice.

"Yeah, saves me having to write myself a reminder." It sounded believable…. Maybe?

"Yeah whatever Donny. Here's what I'd do – find out her favorite color and see if you have a tie or something that matches. We love subtle things. And since she planed this whole thing take her flowers. Not a big bouquet, that's trying too hard and a flag that you're thinking something she may or may not be. What's her favorite flower?"

"I don't know; her middle name is Iris." He threw out there, what did he know about her favorites? She liked Martinis but knew Bourbon. Liked spicy food and coffee. The groceries were all healthy, free range, organic, and didn't have as much meat as he would've liked. _Must be a Seattle thing_. But color? She looked good in purple it seemed to be her color, her personality reminded him of purple.

"Don't try it." He focused back on his sister.

"What?"

"Irises, don't bring her Irises, she probably gets that all the time with people trying to be funny. My girlfriend Amy married the first guy that didn't play the song Aimee for her on a date. Go with something else. Just a few stems, no vase."

"Right. Let me write that down." Don said fumbling around on his coffee table, he found a pen and the newspaper, on the margin he scribbled the note, ignoring his sorry excuse of a crossword puzzle. He'd been cocky thinking he could do the New York Times crossword in pen.

"Okay, got it. Thanks sis."

"No problem bro. Don't forget to call me afterwards. Now I gotta see what my baby wants, you see what yours does."

"Very funny. Give my love to the runt."

"Love ya."

"Love ya too."

Friday rolled around and Don felt like a giant stereotype. His entire closet was spread out all over his room. He didn't know what he should think of his purple outfit, a paisley tie and purple striped shirt but it was handy for tonight. He had a plan. He was getting off work at five thirty, he'd hit up the flower shop near her apartment, he had it mapped out, and then he'd whisk her away to where ever she wanted to go. He'd done his best to juggle big, hard sounding cases so that he could clock off as soon as he could with nothing or next to nothing hanging over his head as he went to dinner.

Elizabeth – Iris was so hyper she was calm. She was dressed without any second thoughts, and felt flattered and pretty. It was five o'clock and she was fully primped. Okay it was a little excessive, but she had everything planned in advance. Most people at her new office left at four, which was one of the only things she didn't like about her new job. She was sort of a seven to six kind of person in a nine to four office. She'd worked until six every other night that week, and worked until four thirty today, but had been too excited to work any longer. She'd gone home and re - showered and cleaned her house again. She was now playing the waiting game. Checking and rechecking her purse for the tickets. Majestic Theatre, Front Mezzanine. The same as the last twenty times she had looked. She paced and she hated herself for doing so. This wasn't what an adult did, this is what a teen did before her first dance with a boy. Why, why was she so shaken and stirred over this man? Wait maybe it was the thrill of seeing Phantom on Broadway. She basked in the thought of the sweeping Andrew Lloyd Webber love story. Don. Bye bye Erik, hello Don. Don. Did she have the tickets? She groaned but opened her purple Gucci clutch again. Yep, they were still there, along with her sterling silver cigarette case that served as a wallet, lipstick and a compact for touch ups, cell phone, gum, and one of Lula Belle's handkerchiefs, _A lady just isn't a lady with out a good handkerchief._ She could just hear her grandmother's soft southern drawl reminding he over and over again the rules of being a lady. Always having their own snot rag was on the top of the list for some reason. She looked at her wall clock. 5:05. She had to distract herself from trying to express feelings that could not be articulated. She sat on the velvet chair they had shared the night she moved in and smoothed her dress over her thighs. It was a simple knee length black sheath of cotton with little stays that gave her unimpressive rack a bit more sparkle. She picked up the book she had been reading of late, Tom Wolfe's Bonfire of the Vanities was an old favorite, and since she was moving to New York she figured she could give it another read. The massive amounts of text and dense multifaceted story did help with her jitters and her buzzer had to ring twice before she realized it wasn't part of Sherman McCoy's story.

"Coming." She said aloud although the ringer couldn't possibly hear her even if she screamed it at the top of her impressive lungs.

"Hello?" she said into the little box on the wall.

"It's me." Don's voice was unmistakable even through the wires of the PA system. She hit the unlock buzzer and then took a deep breath. Even prayed to what ever deity would listen. She then flew around her apartment checking yet again that everything was perfect. She was checking her teeth in the hall mirror when he knocked on the door. Another deep breath and she squared her broad swimmer's shoulders. Elizabeth – Iris opened the door, and then had to prop herself against it. Don in all his glory was before her looking as handsome as ever. He was wearing a suit, which was what seemed to be his customary work uniform. It was a nicely cut thing, made of a very soft looking dark grey. His shirt was purple and white striped and his tie was a purple paisley. He could really pull off the color. She'd always loved that color. He smiled, she smiled. There was a beat. Then she remembered he was standing in the hall.

"Come in, come in." She waved him inside and closed the door. She looked up at him, he looked down at her. Another beat.

Don had prepared himself like he was walking into a slasher film, but even his strongest resolve didn't hold when the door opened and he saw his Elizabeth – Iris standing on the other side. Her long hair was in this sort of down thing but some of it was pulled back, it framed her face well and her violet eyes sparkled beneath eyelashes that he was sure were worthy of praise. Her dress was simple and that's why it was beautiful. It was sleeveless with a square décolletage that showcased her perfectly formed cleavage; it then came in to hug every curve, every curve that he wanted to hug. She wasn't wearing shoes, and even though he'd seen her barefoot before it made her a kind of sexy venerable that flipped every man's switches. She invited him in and he got a whiff of that secret weapon of women, the knock a man on his ass perfume. She closed the door and looked up at him and again there was a world stopping moment between them. The fire and sparkle of her undoubtedly real diamond studs couldn't compare with her eyes in that moment. A new light was in them and he'd give his life to explore it.

"Uh," he then remembered the flowers. "These are for you." He took them out from behind his back and handed them to her. They were three perfect Gerbera Daisies in a bold pink with large sunny heads and long bright green stems. They reminded him of her, bold but still pretty in a classic, sweet way. She took them from him, fingers brushing his; he could see in her face that she was touched by his (sister's) thoughtfulness.

"Thank you." She said, voice a little funny. "I'll put these in water and then we can go." She rushed into her kitchen; he admired her form as she went.

"Where exactly are we going?" he asked shoving his hands in his pockets and fingering the worry stone he kept around for some unknown reason. She returned from the kitchen, flowers in a simple thin glass vase. She set it on an end table and picked up her clutch and shoes. Both were purple. He smiled; he had been right about colors. She slipped on the heels, that had to be a good four inches, and made her look like she was walking _en Pointe_. But something told him that was her way. She then grabbed her keys off the entrance table; he noted that the ring was attached to a dolphin. Her idea of a jacket was a cashmere blanket looking thing, also in purple. She was stepping out on the town in high style and he was lucky enough to be the man on her arm.

"Shall we?" He asked.

Elizabeth – Iris hadn't meant to get misty eyed over a little thing like flowers, but when she saw him looking all nice holding out this little bouquet of Gerbera Daisies she did. Damn her. Damn him. Damn him for bringing these new feelings and emotions to the surface, so that they'd come pouring out her eyes. She smiled though when she put them in a vase, they weren't Irises. Everyone gave her Irises, it was funny the first time but by the fifth it was like – Are men capable of original thought? Apparently Don was.

"Shall we?" He asked after she locked up. He offered her his arm and she felt as proud as Darcy as she slipped her hand through the triangle to rest on his elbow.

"We shall." And they were off.

"So where are we going?" He asked after he handed her into his car, his chariot, his steed.

"--- West 44th Street." She said smiling; he got in on his side.

"What is that?"

"A place."

Don had to park a few blocks away at a meter, but Elizabeth – Iris didn't complain. It was amazing how she could move in those heels. But boy could she. Wrapped in that shawl thing, walking like the hottest model, and smiling up at him he was transfixed. There were apparently three things people loved to stare at: A rippling stream, a fire in a fireplace and a zamboni going round and round. Well all of that was fine and dandy, but nothing to the sight he couldn't keep his eyes from now. Elizabeth – Iris walking any where. He couldn't help but posture himself a little behind her, sneaking peaks as often as he could.

"Vleesloos1?" The magic of her body was brought down as he took his eyes from her hips and read the sign on the restaurant. Vleesloos was one of the hottest vegetarian bistros in New York at the moment. The key word being vegetarian. She wasn't, was she?

"Me? No. I love a good bacon cheeseburger." He must've asked. "But I do believe that you can tell a lot about a person by what they eat. Guys typically are a meat and potatoes or a burger and fries. What you do when you get out of that comfort zone, it's more telling than if we go to a steakhouse." Her logic was impressive.

The server behind the little desk smiled at them as they approached, Elizabeth – Iris leading the way. Don following with his tongue on the floor.

"Two for Olsen." She said, the woman looked at the list and looked at them. "Right this way Mrs. Olsen." Don gave her an arched brow look; she just smiled and unwrapped her purple thing. They were taken to a table by a wall; it had a good view of the room as well as the mixed media recycled wall art.

"Any recommendations, Mrs. Olsen?" He asked looking at the menu. The salad list was obviously impressive. And there were other standard herbivore treats. Hummus, veggie pizza, veggie Lasagna, other pastas. And then there were things that should NOT! be made vegetarian. Meatless Meatballs? What the hell?

"Well, Mr. Olsen, I hear that they have a wonderful selection of organic wine. Other than that I'm not sure." She looked down at the recycled paper menu.

"Oooh, Artichoke Pesto Pasta." He had to balk.

"Hi, my name is Amy and I'll be your server tonight." A cute looking girl in her early twenties said through two rings in her lower lip. She was the sort of punk that kids in their twenties were, I'm so different yet we all look the same. Her long hair was green; she had a little too much dark eye liner and smoky eye shadow. Three earrings in one ear, two and a heartbeat post running through the other. A nose ring, a Marilyn, and an eyebrow ring. A lace like tattoo ran up from her right hand to right elbow. A tribal looking armband was around her left bicep. But she still looked clean and fresh. "Can I get you anything to drink?" She asked as she filled the water glasses.

"I'll have the house white." Elizabeth – Iris said.

"I'll have the same." Don added.

"Alrighty, any appetizers?" she asked jotting something on her pad. Don shook his head, he was fine. Farmer looked up at the waiter.

"No thank you." The girl nodded.

"I'll be right back with those drinks."

"So, how was work?" Don asked a little while later, after they had retreated into their menus for a time. She looked up and smiled.

"Different." Was the well pondered reply.

"Oh really?" he said; talking about their week, Don found it actually interesting. Before Iris it was stuff of the kitchen table pry – fest that was a family or a marriage. But this was him post – Iris. His classification was true, but scary as hell. This little, dinky lawyer from the other side of the country was the defining figure in his life.

"They keep different hours than I'm used to sometimes the apathy is enough to make me want to cry, but then there are moments where success is wonderful. I'm really happy." He was happy she was happy. "How was your week?"

"Same old, same old." He said; he never knew how to talk about work. He could describe what he did. And if Danny or Lindsay or another one in 'the biz' he could swap stories, but how do you bring a woman that cries at the apathetic system into his world where kids would kill their parents or vice versa over little things. Talk about apathy and neglect.

"I hear Lindsay managed to scare you the other day." He had to stop and think, "Lindsay" and "Scare" didn't often go together. Ah yes, the 99 ways to announce your menstrual cycle.

"Bloody Mary?" she smiled.

"The girl with her period?" she liked his little immature flinch at the word 'period'.

"Yes, Lindsay and Stella knew many different ways to tell me she was menstruating."

"And I hear that you squirmed like a worm on a hook."

"They say having sisters is supposed to get you comfortable with the menstrual cycle but I found it was the exact opposite. Good Lord, the girls were EVIL!" The E – word hung in the air dripping blood. Elizabeth – Iris burst out laughing.

"I can see that, nature likes unity so if one has it, we all have it. How many sisters do you have?"

"Two; Gina is three years older than I am, Caroline is two years younger."

"Right on middle child!" She raised her hand for a high five.

"What's on either side?" He asked; birth order was an interesting thing. Danny was a middle child, Lindsay was the youngest, Flack had no idea about Stella's situation, he thought only child. Mac had to be the first born, and he was pretty sure Sheldon had a sister.

"Edward – Eddie is three years older, Eleanor is two years younger. My parents liked 'E' names."

They talked the entire time. They talked about siblings – little sisters, big brothers, the nieces and nephews they loved to spoil. They talked until Amy came for their orders. And then they talked about them. She couldn't tell about him ordering Spinach Quiesh and he couldn't be convinced that Artichoke wasn't the devil's food. And after a dessert of Rum and Chocolate Cheesecake and coffee they talked about the bill. She snatched it from his hands.

"No. Bad Don. Drop." She said looking at the bottom of the slip and then reaching for her purse.

"You've got a thing about paying, don't you?" Don commented.

"I'm just used to paying my own. But isn't the cardinal rule: Whoever asks, pays?"

"Feminism rising."

"Ah, the big F word, my feminism has nothing to do with paying. Can you handle it?" She raised a brow.

"I think I can. I'm not a feminist but…"

"Bullshit. That rebuttal makes you one. The F word's a hard thing to accept but I'd lay odds you are one." Don smiled.

"I always thought feminism was for females. I've learned something."

"My work here is done then."

* * *

_AN: School has started, ugh. So I don't know when next you'll hear from me… the feminism thing may seem random, and it is, but I just had to write something about it. I just finished a great book – Full Frontal Feminism. It really got me going again. I am a feminist, it's how I was raised, but it gave me a little boost. I highly recommend it. You can probably get it read before my next update…_

1. it's supposed to mean Meat less in Dutch (I think, I used a free online translator so you can only imagine what I really got...)


	22. Music of the Night

In Hoxie We Trust

* * *

Disclaimer: I own my sense of reality; actual reality is out of my hands.

AN: Sorry it took so long! Life has been crazy, especially last week which was homecoming. Between school and writer's block the month I left you hanging passed. Again I'm really sorry. So here's my atonement chapter with a tentative promise to up date sooner. It's also my first comprehensive attempt at risqué… you've been warned.

* * *

Chapter Twenty One: Music of the Night

The Majestic theatre wasn't kidding. It lived up to the title to the fullest extent of the word. Elizabeth – Iris was giddy; Don was not nearly as thrilled.

"The Phantom of the Opera?" he asked defensively.

"What?!" she replied, he shot her a blank look before returning his azul eyes to the road. They parked a little over a block away, the weather was crisper in the evening and Elizabeth – Iris was wrapped in her purple thing. She looked so sophisticated as she walked towards the theatre. He had to look pretty good just by association. He felt damn good. And the pleasure grew remarkably as she fitted her hand into the crux of his arm.

The house wasn't open yet but it was only a short matter of time, people milled around in the lobby drinks and souvenir bags in hand, trying to look fancy with plastic bags dangling from their wrists.

"I'm going to go blow some change, stay put." Elizabeth – Iris said, planting Don beside a large pillar1 before making the stop/ stay sign with both hands. She then trotted off to join the throng of people at the souvenir station.

She returned as the chimes that signaled the house being open sounded. She had a white bag like the rest.

"What'd you get?" He asked offering her his arm as they headed like a cattle herd to the ticket check at the foot of the stairs.

"An official program and a gift." She said.

"For who?" he liked the feeling he was getting as they ascended the stairs together. She smiled and reached into the bag.

"You." It was a black shirt with the iconic white mask vibrantly emblazoned across the chest with a brilliant red rose underneath it.

"It's too much Iris. First the dinner then the tickets, now this – you're spoiling me." He said his first reaction was pride against her spending so much. Second was ego against the shirt.

"One, dinner was nothing – I owe you for lunch when I moved, as well as you moving me in general. Two, the tickets were a gift and something I wanted to see, it's better to see a show with someone is it not – and you drove me here. Three, you wearing that shirt is worth more than what I paid for it. So chill." He should've known better than to argue with a lawyer.

"All right, I'll wear it, but on one condition. There can be no documentation that I have it. No pictures – I'd never be able to live it down." She laughed.

"I make absolutely no promises." He glowered at her, but before he could think of a good reply they had reached their doors.

The Ancient woman in black and white extended her crypt keeper – esque hand and whispered directions to their seat before handing them playbills. Don nodded and lead the way, taking Elizabeth – Iris's hand since the aisle wasn't big enough for them to walk side by side.

The seats were good, towards the center of the front mezzanine. Elizabeth – Iris did her best to sit primly and wait for the show but her excitement made her bouncy.

"What time is it?" she asked, he looked at his watch.

"6:30" he said. Thirty minutes left. They went back to reading the programs.

"Now what time is it?" She was like a child. And it kept up, at an almost exact five minute interval she'd ask. Her excitement was palpable, making it easy to forget his annoyance. And then the 'turn off your phones' announcement. She gripped his hand as the lights went down she squeezed. When the first chords of the overture he heard her gasp. The chandelier magically raised as the spell of the show wove around them. It really was amazing. Flack was very impressed. He snuck a peak at Iris. Fat tears were rolling down her cheeks. He couldn't believe how she was moved by the first five minutes of the show. The phantom hadn't even showed up yet! He reached into his pocket and retrieved his hanky, offering it to her. She demurred, breaking contact to dig in her purse and pull out a bit of lace, a lady's handkerchief. They both looked at it, she took his sturdy one instead, before fitting her hand back in his.

Elizabeth – Iris cried through most of the first ac. Don had been affected, but not a fraction of the way she had been. He could definitely see why Phantom was one of the quintessential Broadway shows, he liked it. It was different from RENT, both were good shows, but this was gothic, moody, strong, and violent. RENT was funny… But tears? He wasn't the crying type. But it was endearing on Elizabeth – Iris. People seemed to be more comfortable with nudity than emotion, he knew he was, but Iris was unashamedly displaying exactly what she felt.

The chandelier fell, he gasped with her. The curtain came down on the first act. Elizabeth – Iris dabbed her eyes as the lights came up on intermission. There were some make up streaks, apparently even water proof wasn't fool proof when it came to her crying. She smiled almost shyly at him.

"So… what do you think?" she asked.

"I like it, believe it or not." he said, thumb stroking her knuckles. The show was good but seeing it with her made it great.

"I'm glad. See Broadway isn't half bad!" he laughed.

"Do you like it? You've been crying nearly non stop since the overture."

"This is one of my all time favorite musicals, the only way my life could get any better right now is if Andrew was conducting and Michael and Sarah were singing. Then I don't know how I'd contain myself." He had no idea either, she was crying for joy as it was.

Intermission was spent with Elizabeth – Iris explaining different missing plot points from novel to stage. She loved the story and knew minute details of the plot. He loved watching the light in her eyes as she discussed everything. The curtain rose on act two. She took his hand again. His emotions were as razzle dazzle as 'Masquerade'. The connection made him flutter. He was not in love. But it sure felt like it. She oohed and awed during Masquerade and her eyes remained dry. She didn't begin to cry in earnest again until 'Pass the Point of No Return'. She was emotional, he was turned on. _Past the point of no return No going back now Our passion-play has now at last begun. Past all thought of right or wrong One final question; How long should we two wait before we're one? When will the blood begin to race? The sleeping bud burst into bloom? When will the flames at last CONSUME us?_ As the show progressed her crying grew harder.

By the Phantom's last mournful chord Don was sure Elizabeth – Iris couldn't see for the crying. But he also didn't care, the ending was powerful enough to draw his entire attention away from his date. He did feel that dry tickle in the back of his throat, the 'I'm going to cry now' signal. Bit it didn't produce anything. The company took a bow to a standing ovation and the lights came up. Elizabeth – Iris's make up was amazingly enacted, you couldn't tell she had been blubbering the whole second act.

"What'd ya think?" he asked smirking. She just playfully hit him.

"How'd you like it?" he smiled.

"I liked it." The light in her eyes as she smiled was enough to make him as devoted to her as the Phantom was to Christine.

Elizabeth – Iris walked back to the car on air, humming _Music of the Night_. The night had been absolutely perfect, she couldn't believe the emotions she was feeling. It was like she was in love. And if she wasn't so high on life she'd freak. But she was smiling and the world was smiling back.

Don was on pins and needles as he walked Iris to her new apartment. He wanted to kiss her, he was going to kiss her. It was just a matter of the moment. Anticipation was killing him.

Her door came too soon. It was now or never. He cleared his throat.

"I had a lovely time tonight, Iris, thank you." He said folding his hands behind his back in a nervous gesture.

"No - thank you." She said looking up past his ear. It was a tension too thick to cut with a knife, a chain saw maybe. Eventually, one of them moved and set in motion a cosmos stopping kiss. She got taller, he got shorter and they met somewhere in the middle. His lips were firm but soft and tasted like heaven. She was full and giving and very vocal as he brought her closer. Those curves melding to him. Elizabeth – Iris snaked her hands into his hair enjoying the raven silk still long enough to play through her fingers. It was like the texture of her dress although he enjoyed spreading his hands across the garment more than through his own hair. The flash of a camera ended the moment several blissful seconds later. They broke apart to find Gwen Palen grinning evilly holding a digital camera.

"You're ass is mine now!" she cried, the entwined couple just laughed and resumed their previous activity as Gwen shut the door. Lindsay had made the request, the Lord only knows what she'd do with the evidence.

The women dished and playfully argued before Gwen returned to her room, giving Elizabeth – Iris the rest of the night to herself. Farmer made sure she hard the door latch on the guest bedroom and the Tibetan yoga chants begin before preparing for bed. They never made fun of each other for masturbating, if there were Hoxie rules this would be towards the top. And Iris was grateful as her mind supplied her with Don later that night.

"_Fuck! Irisss…_" Don cried, then hissed. He'd never been more shameless in his wanking. He slouched cockeyed on his sofa head thrown back, rational part of his brain grateful for soundproof tiles in all the rooms of his house. The fantasy part was not so coherent. In reality he was alone on the couch shoes kicked off, tie loose around his neck, top buttons undone, jacket on the floor, pants around his knees as he beat off. The disarray caused by his intense need for release. In his head he was in Farmer's fiery embrace. Their kiss in her hall just an appetizer to happiness. Don's hand glided up and down his shaft on a sheen of sweat and precum, his hips thirsted with a mind of their own. Sensation built along his lower back, pooling at the base of his spin and dripping like honey out as pre cum. She was warm and willing. Actively touching him, seeking ways to entwine their bodies. He came hard and blindingly, warm and sticky. His bellow as he lost himself was a surprisingly complete phrase,

"I love you!"

* * *

1 I have no idea what the Majestic looks like on the in or out side so I'm modeling this after the Civics Center in Des Moines and CY Stevens in Ames. Both great places and where I go to get my Broadway fix. 


	23. Halloween

In Hoxie We Trust

* * *

Disclaimer: I own my sense of reality; actual reality is out of my hands.

_An: I'm soo sorry it took this long to get another chapter. State's even over and I haven't delivered. I'm low. But my shame is getting me writting, guilt me I seem to get more done that way!_

* * *

Chapter Twenty Two: Halloween

Mackenzie's Bar on Halloween had to be one of Lindsay's top ten favorite things. She smiled gleefully as she made her way through the sea of dressed up cops, Elizabeth – Iris on her spiked heels. The team held a small festivity every year, costumes and drinks, and this year in particular Lindsay couldn't wait to partake. Well, she couldn't wait to see Danny, the other stuff was good, but Danny had promised her a cowboy. He had promised her something classically Montanan in return for something classically New York. She was a Rockette; it was the most identifiable, least cheesy thing she could think of. Not to mention it showed off the legs she had worked so hard on toning. Elizabeth – Iris was just as excited, if not more so. She loved Halloween. And she hadn't seen Don since 'the date', photos of which Lindsay had but hadn't commented on. Farmer had teased up her long black hair and was

"Elvira!" Dougy sang in his best Oakridge Boys. He was dressed as a lumberjack. "What can I get you?"

"A White Russian and a dirty crantini," Farmer said, Lindsay was busy looking for her crowd, but despite her searching, Stella still managed to sneak up on her.

"Damn Lindsay!" She exclaimed causing the Montanan to jump. The women embraced. "You look good girl!"

"As do you, yowza!" Stella was dressed as a goddess, but not the standard Greek variety, it was a Viking helmet crowned, and cone boobed Goddess.

"Stella Bonasera the Norse Goddess?" Elizabeth – Iris questioned her New York friend.

"Halloween's where you pretend to be something you're not." The Greek said with a shrug.

"Where's the rest of the gang?" Lindsay asked. Still looking for Danny. Stella pointed to a table in the back.

"Danny and Don aren't here yet." She informed them, as if she knew their thoughts. The women stood talking at the corner of the bar until,

"Your chains are still mine! You belong to me!"

"Oh My God!" Iris exclaimed whipping around so fast her long hair hit Lindsay in the face. There before her was a man with Don's voice, his posture, and his special sent but it didn't look a thing like Don. His long, lean frame was clothed in a tail coat and tuxedo accessories. But that was not nearly as heart stopping as the red rose in his hand and the half mask on his face. Elizabeth – Iris was in rapture for a moment as she took the rose from him. It was broken by Lindsay's insane laughter. Don and Iris tore themselves away from each other to see the other couple ding with hysterics. Danny was dressed awkwardly with a ten gallon hat, leather chaps, spurred boots – all the trappings of a stereotypical cowboy. Elizabeth – Iris joined in the mirth. She was a city girl but even she knew that nobody outside of a spaghetti western dressed like that.

"Very nice." Lindsay finally got out.

"I could say the same about you Montana." Danny fired back unashamedly ogling her legs. The girls' drinks finally arrived – along with a red wine for the Phantom and whisky for the Cowboy. They rejoined the others. Mac made almost too good of an Alex (from _A Clockwork Orange_). Sheldon and Talitha were Anthony and Cleopatra – down to the tights and asp. There was also a Mad Scientist, Elizabeth – Iris met as Sid Hammerback and Miss America who amidst pantomime tears introduced herself as Jennifer Angell. Farmer was welcomed like a long lost member.

Dancing, drinking, and debauchery were the order of the night, and even though 90 of the patrons were officers of the law that didn't stop the few with the nights off from having a little fun. As the hour grew later the sobriety level shifted and Don's arms suddenly snaked tightly around Iris's waist. She looked up at him, he sent her gaze over to a clown staggering through the crowd. Elizabeth – Iris wrapped herself closer to him. Danny unfortunately wasn't assertive enough…

"Hey hey. Hey hey baby hey." The drunk reached to make a pass at Lindsay's short skirt. Farmer knew how her Tractor would handle unwanted attention, but Pennywise never did end up flat on his back. The skirt was snatched out of his fingers as Danny pulled her on to the dance floor with a look so possessive it was primal. For effect Lindsay gave him a short but powerful kiss as they got settled on the dance floor.

"They're going to talk you know." Danny told her after their lips separated, not that he was complaining about the attention, but the Lindsay he knew was more careful than this. Mac had surly seen the fireworks from the kiss she'd given him.

"Like they weren't already." She simply replied as she slid her hands up his arms to caress the back of his neck. Her smile told him she didn't give a damn.

Danny was frankly amazed by the woman in his arms. He was smitten when he thought she was all sweetness, now she was showing some spice and his reaction was beyond belief. He was in trouble.

Elizabeth – Iris ran her fingers down the mask covering Don's face. His costume was amazing. Farmer was surprised the music of the bar could still be heard over the zing, zing, zing of her heart strings. There were so many things she loved right in front of her – Don, the Phantom of the Opera, Halloween, and Humor. It was an emotional orgasm.

"Where did you find this?" she asked him, switching sides to caress his skin.

"Iris, this is New York, you can find anything here." He said grabbing her hand, any more of that and he'd make a fool of himself. They were sitting in a booth with everyone's drinks and random items, their turn to watch them while the rest mingled. It was intimate, and it was driving him mad. Don's impulse control was abysmal, it matched his emotional control. Both were doing a number on his heart, he had to change the subject – get his mind on another topic other than thoughts of the woman in front of him.

"Danny and Lindsay are quite wild tonight." He finally said, noting his friends' kiss, brief as it was. Iris' hand remained in his as he spoke.

"Lindsay's letting her true colors fly, it's some red tonight, not just beige." She observed, proud as punch.

"That is exciting, but Mac likes neutrals not Pollacks."

"Mac's working on his own masterpiece." The couple turned to watch Mac and Stella dancing – they moved beautifully together, like old partners well practiced.

"Well, I'll be damned." Don said, as if seeing 'it' for the first time.

"Oh, don't tell me you've never noticed!" she exclaimed.

"I told you so!" Stella gloated as She and Mac twirled around the dance floor doing a lovely waltz despite the unknown hip hop being played. "I honestly told you, remember, the night we met Farmer." Mac had just seemed to notice the relationship between his two young subordinates. Or at least decided to take what he noticed seriously, seeing a kiss like that would do that to a person.

"Alright, alright – I do remember that conversation but I never gave much thought about it." He chose not to because then he had to think about things he did not think about. He did not think about the actual policy on interoffice relationships – he enjoyed his and Stella's Sunday dance lessons. He also just really didn't want to think about _Danny_ and _Lindsay_, these people were like his children. And that was _Ew._

"Will they get in trouble for it?" Stella asked, Mac dipped her low.

"There's noting officially on the books, but I think that only works if they keep it out of work. I'll talk to them later." Stella smiled broadly and a sensation, long forgotten flirted with his senses, a déjà vu of emotion.

"Talitha is looking great tonight." The conversation turned. Mac looked over at _Cleopatra_, deep in mirth with Sid, Sheldon bringing her a drink. They were an adorable couple, it was a truth so self evident that the Marine would tell anyone right out. Talitha was a nontraditional student; she started school late, with no real money to speak of. Juggling five jobs she was about to graduate and Columbia was calling. It was so good to see the young beauty out and about, she was as serious as a heart attack when it came to studying, and even though finals were months away she was studying hard. Sheldon was annoyed but also proud as could be.

"It's good to see her out; she's very serious for her age." Mac agreed and they spun around the dance floor.

"He's so serious, it's unnerving." Talitha commented watching her boyfriend's boss waltz with poise around the bar's dance floor. She had been with Sheldon Hawkes for nearly a year and in that time she'd yet to truly get comfortable around the formidable leader. Dr. Hammerback – Sid, smiled at her like a father would.

"It's an act; Mac Taylor's really a giant teddy bear."

"Yeah, a teddy bear that could kill you thirty seven1 ways with a spoon." The comment brought a roar of laughter from the ME. Sheldon returned with their drinks.

"Doris." He said after handing off the various glasses.

"Excuse me?" Talitha said looking confused over her Cosmopolitan.

"Remember that conversation we had over 'it' couple names?" _Every 'it' couple has a nickname states the tabloid rule._

"Yeah."

"They're" Sheldon gestured towards the dancing couple of Danny and Lindsay "They're Dantana." He then pointed to Mac and Stella, "And they're Smacked."

"So Doris." Sid said.

"Yep, the Do is from Don the 'ris' is from Iris." Hawkes said pleased with himself.

"Iris? Shel, that's equivalent to her middle name." Talitha said.

"That's what he calls her, I was just over there – it was 'oh Iris' this and 'oh Iris' that. She didn't seem to mind the middle name, like some people Talitha Grumella." Hawkes said nudging her playfully.

"Sheldon Winthrop." She fired back, the group laughed and lamented over their parent's decisions, and they watched. They watched the obvious chemistry bubbling between the Do and the Ris like chemicals in a tube waiting to explode in the best possible way.

* * *

1 This is not a made up number, there is a list. My friends and I made it in bio class our sophomore year. 


	24. Thanksgiving

In Hoxie We Trust

* * *

Disclaimer: I own my sense of reality; actual reality is out of my hands.  
_Yet again I'm late with up dateing, but hey Thanksgiving was only about three weeks ago..._

* * *

Chapter Twenty Three: Happy We – Stole – Your – Land – and – Killed – Your People Day!

"Scholem." Elizabeth – Iris greeted whoever was on the other end as she made her way through the New York streets exhilarated with the feeling of being a New Yorker.

"What are you doing for Thanksgiving?" It was Don, she felt her self smile, happiness displayed on her lips and felt in her heart. It was foolish but she couldn't help it.

"Working." She informed him. Since she began living far away from her parents she learned that working holidays allowed her more time off later, it also helped with the loneliness should it rear its ugly head. Sitting at home alone on a holiday traditionally a family event was a dark feeling thing. When she was working in Minnesota she spent the holidays with the cops, their break room a plethora of food brought by one and all. After work she'd call the family before cracking into a pumpkin pie martini an calling the Hoxies. They'd complain about family, play games and watch movies, racking up the phone bill in a jolly holiday way.

"Working?" Don questioned. It surprised him until he remembered that her family was in the other side of the country and the purpose of his call.

"How long are you working?"

"Well, the office isn't technically open so however long it takes me to slog through my paperwork." She replied.

"Well do you think you'll be done by one?" Elizabeth – Iris began ascending the steps to her subway stop. Her reception would be going soon but his next fumbled statement stopped her. "I was wonder, because well…" he was tripping over his tongue and going fuzzy but she couldn't interrupt him. "Do you want tocometoThanksgiving dinnerwithme?"

"What?" she exclaimed, except she was in the terminal and there was not a bar of reception to be found. Elizabeth – Iris starred at her phone. _Do you want to come to Thanksgiving dinner with me?_ She didn't know why but her jaw was on the floor. Was this a family dinner, it would be right? She wasn't reading anything into it was she? Fucking reception! She took her seat on the train. She had to think logically and a logical person did not spill her guts to the little old lady across the way. Suppose that, yes he had invited her to his family thanksgiving, what was she going to do? Say yes. Fear of families could not stop her from going, she was always kind of lonely on the holidays and she really liked Don. It was a big step in their relationship, one date then his family. Okay, she wasn't being introduced as anything, but she was still going to be there. She sighed, there was nothing she could do now anyway, except sit back and finish the train ride.

Don starred at his phone when he lost Iris, _she must've been on the train._ Even if she was so terrified of Dinner with his family, she'd never hang up on him. She'd call back soon, he'd wait. The hard part was over, he asked her to dinner no more courage needed unless he had to repeat himself. It was his own damn fault, he'd unloaded to Gina about how he feared Elizabeth – Iris would be alone on Thanksgiving, and his sister tried to remedy the problem by inviting her to eat with them, to share the family. Gina liked her idea so much that she threatened to call herself in he was too chicken shit to do it himself. The sad thing was – he almost was .he wasn't used to the emotions he was feeling, before Iris he was an emotional box of eight basics crayons – hew knew red anger, orange friends that like the color had no rhyme, yellow joy, green love, blue guilt, purple lust, familial love and pride of white, and black despair. Green was love because until now he was a novice at it. Now with Iris in the picture life was a fricking kaleidoscope. And that as terrifying to a guy whose apartment walls were white.

It was roughly an eternity before Elizabeth – Iris put him out of his misery and called him back. Thank God he wasn't doing anything important because when her voice breathed his name across the line he dropped everything, the world could wait.

"Don?" She said sounding flustered, he could see her perfect alabaster skin flushed rose. "I'm so sorry the subway killed my reception." She sounded almost too sincere.

"Hazard of the city, you'll get used to it." He told her assuaging her guilt. "So… about Thanksgiving…" _please God don't make me repeat the question._ He pleaded. There was beat, she was deciding.

"I would love to come." She finally said voice soft.

"Wonderful." He said also soft, another safety line around his heart cut. "Dinner is at one thirty, I'll pick you up around noon?"

"Alright." She said, still delicate. "Now get back to work." She said trying to return 'normal'.

"See you later Iris." _I love you_.

"Bye Don."_ I love you too._

Elizabeth – Iris was in a panic. She didn't do panic well, freak out – totally, melt down – yes, neurotic tantrums – all the time. But down right panic? Oh the humanity! She rushed her mirror again as the clock struck Eleven thirty on Thanksgiving day. How she felt before Phantom was nothing compared to this. Why, oh why had she said yes? She had had a terrible time focusing at work this morning, her mind needed to analyze EVERY detail of the next roughly twelve hours. Her pie was flawless, praise the powers that be, usually any kitchen work greater than scrambled eggs or pasta resulted in a small fire or uneven cooking, nut not this time. Maybe karma was on her side for a change. She smoothed a nonexistent stray hair from her sophisticated bun and returned to fretting.

Don laughed the second he saw her, she was gorgeous but way over dressed for his family. His _Viva la Stewart _tee and jeans was a representative sample. She was wearing an argyle cashmere sweater over a crisp oxford, slacks, and pearls. Hot as hell and perfect for the office but for his family? It was too rich.

"WHAT?" she was half annoyed, half worried.

"You're beautiful," he said sweeping into the room. "But my family still has mashed potato wars, you might want to change." Elizabeth – Iris would've laughed but her still panicked brain wasn't getting humor and was completely out of wardrobe ideas. It had been this or naked in the first place.

"Um, right then… I'll go change into something… else. Make yourself at home." She said as nervous and twitchy as an addict. Don could see right through her.

"Wear whatever goes with those shoes." He pointed to her banana yellow high top Converse. She smiled with relief, an idea presented, and retreated to her room. Don sat in "the" red velvet chair, her memory keeping him company while she was not.

Farmer was thankful for the wardrobe cue as she quickly changed. She should've known if she showed up to her own family looking like she did there'd be no end to the mockery.

Iris emerged from her room about five minutes later, braiding her long hair over her shoulder. She was now wearing a pair of faded jeans, a yellow long sleeve shirt under a black short sleeve shirt with a picture of a charging knight emblazoned on her chest.

"Much better." She smiled brightly until she felt her braid, a frown soon came and she started over.

"So," she began, "who's who – what do I need to know?" the braid again failed and she started over.

"What do you need to know… let's see." Her braid didn't last as long as the first three, she sighed and rolled her eyes heavenward. He smiled and moved to stand behind her. She looked at him.

"I have two sisters – I can also coordinate wardrobes like nobody's business." She smiled and let him have control of the locks. "We're going to my big sister Gina's house in Brooklyn, she and her husband Giovanni have a five year old son, Steven. My other sister Caroline, and her husband Russell have Kimberly who just turned two, she's absolutely adorable." His hand were absolutely magic in her hair, it was so good she could melt. "Your shirt from Dowd?" she tried not to moan her response. "Know any stats?" Again she tried not to orgasm.

"Basketball." She choked out.

"Wonderful." Don said dreamily, her hair felt like heaven between his fingers and was giving him sinful feelings. Unfortunately her braid was coming to an end. He soon flipped the thick braid over her shoulder, but neither moved his hands fell from her hair to her waist. Feeling mildly vampire like his lips descended to her neck. The moan that tore from her shook his fillings.

"Don." Time later Elizabeth – Iris realized that his lips were AMAZING but there was something they needed to do. "Don." He pulled away slightly. "Don't we need to be somewhere?" he blinked.

"GINA! Oh yeah." Reluctantly they got around and left for Brooklyn.

"Happy We Stole Your Land and Killed Your People Day!" William and Joel exclaimed via broadband, waving at their second daughter. Lindsay blew kisses to the men before pulling her turkey breasts out of the oven. This would be her first Thanksgiving staying in New York without family visitors. The first year she lived her she went home for both turkey day and Christmas, she'd work all summer but she got her holidays. The second year Gwen came for Thanksgiving and William and Joel for Xmas. This year she was seeing her family via the internet and spending her day with Danny, who was stuck working the holiday and unable to get to the Island. He and Flack had switched shifts around, typically Flack took his nephew and new niece to the parade for some spoiling but this year he wanted to go to his family lunch. Danny usually worked during the parade and then got his afternoon off. This year Danny had taken her to see Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade and Don had worked their shift. The parade had been amazing, she'd watched it off and on for years but seeing it in person was much more exciting than the TV coverage. At least it was seeing it with Danny. They had stood near the barracks in Times Square sharing a quilt watching the insanity of the world go by them and enjoying each other's warm company. Now they were working, only getting a scant two hours for lunch, generous for a shift but not enough time for a huge meal and football a Monroe tradition. She was treating Danny in return for the morning at the parade. It had been his idea to have dinner with her family, he wanted to see her happy and she blushed with the feelings she felt because of that fact. God he was wonderful. _I am thankful for Danny Messer._

She and her family chatted as she cooked, it was nine o'clock their time, they were going to have a thanksgiving breakfast with her. William, Joel, Marilyn, Jessica, Allen, Alyssa, and Irene, the whole tightly knit almost family… and Danny, who arrive about a half hour later with a pie and a kiss.

"Happy Turkey Day Montana." He said handing her the pumpkin pie, suspiciously homemade looking.

"You too Cowboy, now come one, lets eat." She pulled him into the kitchen, the familiar sight of her laptop propped on a chair greeting him. Again he found the screen to be a window into a living room in Montana.

"Danny!" Jessica Monroe said happily waving at him. The partners he met last time as well as their daughter were there, in the same positions as last. There were also some additions. Lindsay beamed at him and the computer.

"Danny, you remember Will, Joel, Lyn, and Jessie, right?" He nodded a greeting to those he had already met. "I'd like you to also meet my sister Madison," the woman from the pictures, now older waved, "My nephew Allan and his Alyssa." Mutt and Jeff were next introduced. Allan was a big young man, powerfully built and looking like a marine, Mac would be proud. His girl was petite in both statue and build, a strong wind would knock her down, her hair was crazy curly but she looked more sweet than wild. "And my niece Irene." Irene was the youngest, probably fresh out of high school, she was tall with dark hair and eyes; she looked ethnic almost. Greetings were exchanged.

The New Yorkers sat down to eat while the Montanans lounged around in the living room. Conversation was light and in descript, a little bit of sports, a little bit of Turkey, and a lot of banter. It was very evident where Lindsay got it, verbal sparring was the 'I love you' of this group.

Lindsay's food was amazing and she unashamedly loaded her plate high, and ate with vivacity.

"I is told ya and told ya that you can always tell a lady by the way she eats in front of folks like a bird and I ain't aimin' for you to go to Mr. John Wilkes and eat like a field hand and gobble like a hog!" Madison exclaimed smugly in a southern draw, tempting an in joke.

"Fiddle – dee – dee! Ashley told me he likes to see a girl with a healthy appetite." Lindsay replied in her best Vivien Leigh, Danny laughed, he got it, and her family roared.

"What a gentleman says and what they thinks is two different things and I ain't noticed Mr. Ashley askin' for to marry you." Irene countered, also with perfect respect to Margaret Mitchell's classic. Allan groaned,

"Danny, you don't know what you've encouraged! These people are NUTS for that movie." His words insisted wrath from the rest of the group even his girlfriend threw a pillow at him.

"We watch _Gone with the Wind_ ever Thanksgiving evening." Lindsay explained.

"We know every line." Marilyn said proud, but watching for a tell. Most men ran and hid when Scarlett's story was brought up, but then most didn't sit at the tiny table with a girl's family on a computer instead of with his own family in the flesh.

The Coppla family home was a well kept little brick one story complete with shutters and ivy, it was in a residential part of the bough, the tree lined street a beautiful and unexpected picture only half an hour or so from sky rises in Manhattan. The front was beautiful, decorated with pumpkins and leaves, hay and an elaborate wreath that would make Martha Stewart jealous. Elizabeth – Iris tightened her grip on the pie she was carrying into the lion's den. Don sensed her growing tension and wrapped his arm around her shoulders as they walked up the path, and dropped a kiss on the top of her head before opening the door to his sister's home.

"UNCLE DON!" a black haired ball of energy launched itself at Don, hitting him at about mock three, little arms wrapping around his knees. Don laughed and picked the little ball of energy up.

"Hello, Scuba Steve." He said, the little boy soaked up the attention, his mouth going a mile a minute. Elizabeth - Iris laughed, the kid became suddenly shy.

"Scuba, this is Farmer, farmer this is my nephew Steven." Don said.

"Farmer's a funny name for a girl."

"Steven!" A mother's voice exclaimed, Iris just laughed.

"And Scuba makes much more sense. My real name is Elizabeth Iris but it's too long." She said kindly before turning her attention to Steven's mother. Gina Coppla nee Flack was the cute soccer mom type on the tall said it stretched the 'I just had a baby' weight, her dark hair was in a curly bob and she shared her brother's coloring.

"I'm Elizabeth – Iris, thank you so much for having me."

"Gina." The sister said smiling "It's my pleasure, thank you for accepting and baking." Gina took the dish. "Steven would you take their coats up stairs?" the little boy hopped out of Flack's arms and did as he was told Don ushered her with a warm hand on her back to the living room to meet the rest of the Flack Clan.

"Where's Farmer, did she go home?" Jessie asked, Elizabeth – Iris Owen was like a daughter to her, all the Hoxies were, but she was her favorite.

"No, she's going home for Christmas, which means she's here for turkey day." Lindsay said taking a huge bite of the chocolate cake Danny had brought. She moaned. "This is orgasmic, Danny." she exclaimed.

"Well then Elizabeth – Iris most certainly is not there. That'd cake be gone in a flash." Madison said, the sisters loved each other, but their relationship was rocky. Though it was rough the Hoxies were family to both of them.

"Elizabeth – Iris is having Thanksgiving at Don Flack's family." Danny said mesmerized by Lindsay and his cake.

"Oh really." Was the general response from Montana. Lindsay smiled conspiratorially.

"Yeah, I have some great blackmail material too."

"Ooo," Willie said rubbing his hands together, "put it in the Christmas cards." More evil laughs from the treasure state.

"So what's everyone else doing if you guys are here and EIO is meeting the parents?" Joel asked.

"Stella and Mac are at St. Basil's" it was the orphanage where Stella grew up. She knew how important it was for the kids to get attention and Mac understood, together they spent time with the children every year, it was their time.

"Sheldon and Talitha are spending the holidays apart. She's heading to Detroit and he's heading to Iowa City and then to a jewelry store." Lindsay said the last part a squeal. Danny looked at her.

"How do you know?"

"I walked in on him practicing with Mac on how to ask a father for permission."

Elizabeth – Iris was great with parents but she felt totally unprepared as she stood in the lion's den. Even with Don at her side she felt nervous.

"Junior." His father said, he had a deep serious voice. "Who is this lovely young lady?" Iris smiled a little. She was a 'lovely young lady' and Don was Junior.

"Dad." Don said pink with embarrassment over his nickname. "Everyone." He returned to normal. "This is Elizabeth – Iris. Iris, this is everyone." The small crowd of people in the room waved. An older but well kept woman stood up from the sofa.

"I'm Donny's Mom Annette and this is my husband Don Senior." She said shaking her hand. Annette was like a silver haired Gina and had a very loving attitude. Don Senior was just Don Junior older but much scarier.

"Nice to meet you Mr. and Mrs. Flack." Iris said as polite as could be.

"Oh come now dear, Mrs. Flack's my mother in law, I'm nothing like her, I'm just Annette." Mr. Flack gave a genuine smile.

"Senior." He said, Iris felt better. Don led her to a second pair. The woman was clearly Caroline, the younger sister. She looked like Gina but had some of Don's build, tall and lean. The husband was very opposite, he was fair and about three inches shorter than his bride. The babe in his arms was also fair; she was two and looked like Cindy Lou Who. So cute.

"This is my baby sister Caroline and her husband Russell." Don said greetings were exchanged. "And this is Kim." The proud uncle stole the baby and doted on her like it as going out of style. The last person she met was Giovanni, Gina's handsome husband. He was a beautiful Italian man; he and Gina were perfect together. Iris felt warm with family. She missed her insanity but his was wonderful too.

Dinner was a lively affair full of food and bullshit, two things Farmer liked a lot. Don looked down the table at her sitting with his sisters and couldn't hide his smile. He was feeling things he had never felt before.

"She's a great girl, Junior." Don Senior said watching his son watch his guest.

"Yes, yes she is." Don replied, eyes never leaving Elizabeth – Iris. It told senior all he needed to know.

Danny and Lindsay were forced to ring off and go to work some time later. Lindsay felt sad but promises of Christmas and proximity to Danny kept her smiling.

"Your family's great Montana." Danny said clearing dishes. She blushed.

"You're great, thank you for sharing this with me." He smiled.

"Its what I'm good for." He replied before kissing her, another thing he was good for. They were a little late for work.

* * *

_We actually watch the Godfathers over thanksgiving but I didn't think that'd sit well with Danny's past... I'll try to up date soon, we're having a lot of snow and ice and everything is cancelled or let out early or delayed so I have a lot of free time and haven't been to class to get homework! if it wasn't for the fridged temps and power outages I'd love winter._


	25. Leftovers

In Hoxie We Trust

* * *

Disclaimer: I own my sense of reality; actual reality is out of my hands.  
_AN: Yet again I made you wait an ungodly long time for an up date, I am sorry, time flys... except when your home sick with the flu, then it drags on and on and on..._

* * *

Chapter Twenty Four: Leftovers

After Dinner the dishes were cleared but not cleaned. Instead the freshly emptied table was transformed into a poker table.

"Winner does the dishes." Don explained peeking at Elizabeth – Iris's cards. She smiled sweetly before lovingly shoving his face away from her hand. She was loving this more and more by the second and she was falling faster and faster in love with the man who brought her here in the first place.

Elizabeth – Iris achieved total card domination in the fastest time in Flack history. The look of awe on alls faces was worth more than a Vegas jackpot.

"But you're the guest!" Gina protested, "Don always wins, this is how we gang up on him nicely." Farmer laughed, Don stuck out his tongue at his sister. Iris just stood and patted Don's head.

"He can help me then." Without a word he stood and followed her. The family looked at one another.

"He's gunna marry that girl." Annette said knowingly and proud.

"If I don't first." Senior said, his wife smacked him but the family laughed.

When Danny and Lindsay did get in to work (and after a funny look from Mac) they were sent off to the theatre and TriBeCa.

"What a way to go – on Thanksgiving no less." Danny lamented looking at the over weight man hanging from one of the supports on a set piece for the off Broadway revival of Oklahoma!

"The holidays bring out the best and worst in people. There has been a time or two when I wanted to slaughter a family member or two but I have impulse control." Lindsay said as she photographed the area. Danny looked sideways at her remembering their earlier make out session. She blushed.

"On some things."

"Right Montana." Danny laughed as Lindsay glared at him. The body of Archie Lancaster was found hanging when the tech crew did the pre-show check. There was no outside signs trauma other than his purple face and a damn good noose. The pair processed in tandem as they joked and discussed the new found theatrical connection.

Props in a theatre were an orgy of prints and smudges and fluid, both bodily and not, sifting through it all was going to be a joy. But as Danny and Lindsay realized the second they began interviews it was going to be better than talking to the cast. Between the divas too good for you and the artists to artsy to talk the pair of CSIs realized that the crazy Drama freaks in high school grew up to be crazy drama freak adults and that they didn't like the victim at all.

"Jud was a creep and Archie was a creep, it was perfect casting." Christine who played Laurie said, it was the most straight forward sentence uttered at the scene.

"Stop splashing, you're getting me wet." Don playfully complained as Elizabeth – Iris submerged another pile of dishes.

"Isn't that my line?" She asked coyly giving him a sultry under eyelash look. His reply was a look that said it all, and it all was X rated.

"Not with children, small appliances, or parents remotely near." She said patting his arm with a sudsy hand.

"You got bubbles on me." He whined trying to shake the sex from his mind. Elizabeth – Iris smiled and scooped up a handful of bubbles and dumped them on his head.

"Hey!" He exclaimed grabbing the spray nozzle and hosing her down. She screamed and wrestled from it, he got wet, she got wet, and they both got close together. Farmer's back was pressed into the counter and Don was still coming. He lacked the water sprayer however, instead of it she was soon in his hands. He lifted her to sit on the counter and kissed her thoroughly.

"I heard screaming, what's going on in here?" Gina Flack questioned entering her kitchen. "Oh God!" She was met with the sight of her baby brother's back as he necked with a woman whose limbs were draped about him like ivy, and all of this was occurring on her counter. Don's head popped up and he looked over his shoulder.

"Hi sis." He was a little embarrassed but not nearly as embarrassed as Elizabeth – Iris who had her face buried in Don's chest, a hysteric and guttural laugh shaking her.

"Don't mind me except for this – No sex on the countertops we eat there and stuff."

"I give you my word to stop at third." Don said doing the Boy Scout hand sign.

"Don't give me that, you were never a Scout Donald."

"Just don't tell mom." He replied turning back to Farmer. Gina laughed and left, the way things were going there'd be a ring bought by New Years.


	26. A Short Xmas Montage

In Hoxie We Trust

* * *

Disclaimer: I own my sense of reality; actual reality is out of my hands.  
_AN: Sorry for the wait, yet again. I know the chapter seems clipped but I figured I'd stop and start again but it's been so long, I figured, like papers I turn in at school, crap on time is better than being late and still having the possiblilty of it being crap. I also know nothing about the Rockefeller Tree so ignore the mistakes, it's artistic lisense._

* * *

Chapter Twenty Five: A Short Xmas Montage

"So…" Lindsay began in a sing song voice about a week after Turkey Day. Elizabeth – Iris had a self brought upon work load that kept her busy morning, noon, and night, Lindsay and Danny's OKLAHOMA!'s case was more complex than originally thus the friends didn't get a change to speak until later.

"Buttons." Farmer replied using the Montanan adage against the Treasure State girl.

"So how was his family?" Lindsay got out with a snicker. Elizabeth – Iris smiled.

"They were… lovely."

"Lovely? So what are you getting him for Christmas?"

"I… um… I… well, his sister's getting a lovely Dean and DeLuca gift basket."

"Yeah, what about him?" Elizabeth – Iris stretched out on her sofa, Don's long kept tie around her neck.

"We need to go shopping." The friend admitted.

"Stella and I always take a day so just come with us."

"What are you getting Danny?"

"We need to go shopping." The women laughed.

It was a day or two later when Don was finally able to get in touch with Iris.

"Are you working Friday night, about six?" He asked, Elizabeth – Iris felt giddy.

"I can not be, why?"

"Well Danny and I were discussing how you and Lindsay have never seen the tree at Rockefeller Center in person, he and I have the night off that night and Linds is on call, would you like to get dinner and then see the tree?" Don asked.

"Would I?! I always watch it on TV. I'd love to go." Farmer was taken back to her childhood with the Rockefeller tree. She'd never seen all of the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade but she'd never missed the tree lighting, which was silly, it was three seconds and the flip of a switch but it was important to her none the less.

"Great I'll pick you up around 5:30 Friday then, dress warm." He said also sounding excited. For the rest of the evening she was well past cloud nine.

Stella, Lindsay, and Farmer exchanged wicked looks as they centered the garishly green wreath on Don's boring looking door, he didn't even have a mat out, a stereotypical single man. But as the women snarkily observed the drab became fab with the addition of the real evergreen wreath.

"I love the fact you were able to make copies of Sheldon, Danny, and Don's house keys without them noticing" Farmer said with great awe, before their day of shopping the three women went around to the male CSIs apartments and spread a little cheer with the tackiest wreaths they could find.

The three women were soon off to the shopping Mecca that was New York City. All three had the women on the list done, Lindsay was even as far along as to have them wrapped and under the tree Danny helped her get. The men on the other hand were nearly impossible, particularly the special ones. Elizabeth – Iris had ordered Mac, and Sheldon/ Talitha Stomping Grounds Coffee months ago, just as Lindsay hadn't given a second thought to Don's gift of _Fargo_ and White Russian fixings. Stella had Don's present bought and wrapped since the Monday after Thanksgiving. All three had the other women done.

"See anything?" Elizabeth – Iris asked holding up a pink and brown tie and comparing it to a black and silver paisley tie. She shook her head and put them back, Lindsay looked over from a rack of super soft Henleys.

"For who?" Lindsay questioned, Stella joined them carrying two jackets, one black velvet the other a dark green velvet.

"Don."

"Honey, if you buy it for your father don't buy it for a potential lover." Stella said sassily.

"Amen to that." Lindsay said firmly. Farmer was in no mood to be sassed and replied.

"Yeah, well, sweetheart," she pointed at Lindsay's choices, "Generic clothes say 'just friends, really awkward friends." Lindsay stuck out her tongue but stepped away from the pain tops.

"For Danny," Stella said holding up the choices, "Black or dark green?" She wasn't a lover but a friend and the velvet was funky enough to be an exception to Iris' statement.

The clothing department was a wash, except for Stella who got both Danny and Sheldon done. But for Lindsay and Farmer they were uninspired as ever. In an effort to cheer the women up, Stella detoured past the gems – ooo shiny never hurt anybody.

"Ooo shiny." Elizabeth – Iris said, drawn to the counter by and unique pair of dangle earrings. It was then that inspiration hit. Farmer squeals of joy were positively 'girly'.

"What is it?" Lindsay asked excitedly joining her friend. Elizabeth – Iris pointed at a pair of sliver cuff links in the shape of frogs with crowns. Prince Charming.

"I think I've got Don done." She said. With one more person off the shopping list the women celebrated with coffee, pastries, and people watching.

The lighting at Rockefeller Center was at 7pm, making it about 4pm in Seattle, but Fiona didn't mind, she only worked half time, she was getting old you know. So she sat all cozy in her living room, coffee in one hand, remote in the other tape in the VCR. The family always watched it together, especially now that her children were grown, it was an important bonding moment. It became an even bigger moment when the camera panned and stopped on Fiona's oldest baby girl and her friend Lindsay, plus a man each wrapped around them like blankets, all screaming.

"Hi mom! Hi dad!" "Hi Fiona and Steven!" "Hi Farmer's Parents!"

The remote fell from Fiona's hand, there was a moment of shock before a wicked smile spread across her lips. Her daughter wouldn't know what hit her, the family loved a good laugh at a member's expense and this five second clip of her and a boy was going to provide a lot of fader.


	27. A Long Xmas Montage

In Hoxie We Trust

* * *

Disclaimer: I own my sense of reality; actual reality is out of my hands.

* * *

Chapter Twenty Six: A Long Xmas Montage

Christmas breakfast was at Lindsay's; she had out done Martha Stewart herself with her repast. When it came to SSB (Secret Single Behavior) Lindsay had an elaborate web of domesticity. She made a detailed breakfast table of omelets and pastries and coffee. The apartment was decorated and all her presents were wrapped up as art pieces themselves. Lindsay, Farmer, Danny, and Don were exchanging gifts before Elizabeth – Iris' flight. It was shaping up to be a happy holiday; Lindsay was certainly cheerful as she tended to the early Hoxie girl.

"Your perkiness needs to die." Iris was in an 'I hate Christmas travel and parts of my family' mood. Lindsay, who didn't have to spend an ungodly amount of time on a plane, wasn't. The sour was ignored.

Don and Danny arrived a time later baring large, poorly wrapped presents.

"Ho, Ho, Ho." Danny called to Lindsay as he placed his gifts under the tree. Elizabeth – Iris had let him and Don in. Don lagged behind his Santa - esque friend, he quietly spoke to Iris, standing close, and making her met his eyes by looking up. It was a scene out of a movie.

"Can I take you to the airport?" he asked, she shivered but not from the cold that lingered about his body from the outside.

"I was just going to call a cab." She whispered.

"That'd be me." He said, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear.

"Don," she began.

"Ey, I can act just like 'em." His accent was spot on. "It's settled then." He kissed her forehead. She smiled.

"Yo, Don, quit kissing and let's start eating, I want to open presents." Danny called, smiling at them from the kitchen. Elizabeth – Iris laughed, Danny reminded her of her brother to the point it was awkward, she had to fight the urge to call him Eddie. Lindsay laughed as well and the two pairs sat down to gorge themselves in the first of many Christmas brunches.

The group ate in great humor, improve groups would kill for such chemistry. After eating (much too fast in Danny's case) they moved to the living room and doled out gifts. Danny and Lindsay lounged on the sofa, under the pretense of sharing a blanket they nested like Russian Dolls. If she wasn't cuddling like every chick flick's wet dream Farmer would've pointed out that the skirt was totally unnecessary, seeing as it was freeze the balls off a brass monkey cold out, and she was on call, but she looked so damn cute and Danny looked pretty appreciative. Elizabeth – Iris sat on the floor by the Christmas tree, as made clear by her packing style Farmer was a creature of habit and OCD, and every Christmas since she could sit on her own she sat by the tree. Easy present access. Usually she was alone; at home a child may join her but never an 'adult'. As she tweaked Don's nose she wondered what it said when Don plopped down had put his head in her lap. He had eaten too much, Iris wasn't surprised, Danny had only just barely out gorged Don.

"On your marks," Lindsay raised her arm, "Get set. GO!" paper flew as mass chaos ensued.

Farmer opened Lindsay's gift first, it was wrapped impeccably with lovely woodland paper and hot glued 'picks' – things like pinecones. Farmer pitched the fluff and cracked into the box.

"Shooooooooooes!" she squealed, out of a Jimmy Choo box she pulled bright red patent heels with, at a glance, four and a half to five inch heels. Lindsay spoiled her, and Elizabeth – Iris, loved it. With a squeal from the couch Farmer knew her friend had found her gift – Iris spoiled back. Lindsay caught her friend's eye and smiled holding up the Tiffany's heart necklace. With Don's head in her lap she could feel his laugh on top of hearing and seeing it, the little jiggle added to the melt worth sensation of his tenor laugh. He held up her cufflinks, Don loved them, and reaching up he grabbed her and pulled her into a Spiderman like kiss – minus the rain and spandex. The other couple laughed and Danny tore into his gift. Custom leather cowboy boots appeared. Once Don stopped kissing Iris the group laughed.

"Farmer!" Danny exclaimed.

"Well duh cowboy." Elizabeth – Iris stated flatly. Farmer opened her next gift, from Danny, Knicks v. Nets Basketball tickets.

"I love basketball!" she exclaimed, "Thank you Danny!"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa Messer, you can't have both Monroe and Farmer gotta have some for the rest of us!"

"Hold the aspersions numb nuts, open your gift."

"I wonder what the smartest thing ever said when the sentence contains the phrase "numb nuts"." Elizabeth – Iris commented.

"Shut up!" Don opened Danny's gift.

"Oh, basketball tickets!" Don said faking surprise. Lindsay opened her gift.

"Tickets." She said, "Awesome! Farmer loves Basketball; she'll be fun to watch."

"Don't make me tell the football story." Elizabeth – Iris replied with a playful edge.

"Football story?" Danny asked excited as a cartoon character – Awooogah!

"Tell ya later." Lindsay said, glaring at Farmer. Danny opened his gift from Don, a Joe Montana Jersey appeared.

"Alright you guys!" Danny groused. Cowboy boots and MONTANA he was getting slammed at Christmas.

"Finally, you've gotten some good clothes." Lindsay joked, Danny softened with her approval. Elizabeth – Iris opened her last gift, Don's gift. It was a long flat box neatly if not unimaginatively wrapped in paper decorated with Christmas bobbles. Slowly she opened it. A tie box appeared, did he want his tie back, she still had it was packed away in her carry on, like her dear Ted E. Bear traveled with her in her youth. She opened the box. Inside was another ticket. _Avenue Q_. She kissed him.

"You're my Broadway excuse." He whispered after the affection ended.

"Oh darn." She sarcastically replied. "I promise not to cry this time." He laughed. Danny and Lindsay finished their exchange and after Don opened his _Fargo_ and White Russians. The pairs split. Don to take Elizabeth – Iris to the airport, Danny and Lindsay were left alone till work.

Don parked in short term parking and kindly hauled one of her body sized bags to the check.

"What the hell's in here? Iris are you smuggling the awesome out of the city?" she gave a wolfish smile and whispered,

"Actually it's a body; I dump all my kills at home." He didn't really listen; the sensation of her mouth by his ear was more exciting. He kissed her soundly.

"Fly safe." He said breaking the kiss.

"I will, give my love to the family." She kissed him again. "Merry Christmas." She had to leave, but she'd watcher over her shoulder until he was out of sight. He remained in the lobby until she was gone.

"New girlfriend?" An older guy asked, standing beside him, watching the same spot.

"Huh?" Don asked, snapping out of his thoughts.

"One of the mistakes new couples make is the airport. You better like her or from here on out you'll always hear 'Why don't you take me to the airport anymore?'" Don laughed.

"She's worth it." Don sighed.

"My ex wife wasn't. Good for you." The man said, and left.

Don waited a little while, until he felt creepy. Slowly he headed to his car. _Girlfriend_. Don paused, he had a girlfriend - it'd been a while since he'd had one. At least a real one, he'd had others for a month or so – kicks and sex but no real connection or commitment. And really no desire for it. With Elizabeth – Iris he wanted that. So he had a girlfriend. He smiled.

Farmer's first flight was easy, her ears popped painfully, but that aside it went fine. She worked on a few files and enjoyed her Sprite. JFK to MSP (Minneapolis/ St. Paul Airport) was about two and a half hours. She had a three hour layover. After finding a Starbucks she found a spot and booted up her crackberry. Her laptop couldn't get her internet but the little pone that ate her soul could. She really wanted to call Don, or email him or something. But that was needy. Instead to kill her boredom, she emailed Lindsay.

_Hola, Chica!_

_Sitting in Minnesota chilling (and hanging out) for three hours. Then it's straight to Seattle. I'm really board right now, hope you an the Stallion are having fun. I know you are! Give him my love, I know you will. I love the shoes, thank you again! I'll wear them on my date with Don. I think he's my boyfriend, Tractor, I haven't had a boyfriend in years! I know you're already content with your stud but try to think back…_

She rambled on and on until,

"Farmer!" Elizabeth – Iris' head popped up. Jessica Monroe in the felsh.

"Jessie!" the women embraced. The mother wasn't alone. Maddi, Irene, and Alan were also there.

"Heading home?" Jessie asked the Hoxie girls were like children to each other mothers.

"Yeah. You?"

"Bringing some home to Lindsay."


	28. And a Partridge in a Pear Tree

In Hoxie We Trust

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Disclaimer: I own my sense of reality; actual reality is out of my hands.  
_AN: I know Xmas is taking fffooorrreeevvveeerrr_ _but doesn't it in real life? There's just so much going on that a few chapters covers it better than two. Sorry if you're sick of the season. But hey, it makes it authentic. I'm also sorry I haven't up dated in oh… four months or so. I suck, I know. But hey, here's an up date for you and I have a related oneshot called "I'll work for your love" about Don and Iris. Thank you for your patience._

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Chapter Twenty Seven: And a Partridge in a Pear Tree

"Beth!" Elizabeth – Iris was greeted at the Seattle airport by the cry of her mother, it was like a battle call mixed with an air raid siren. Within seconds she was tightly embraced.

"Mom!" Elizabeth – Iris groaned.

"Don't you 'Mom' me, you're my baby no matter how old you are."

"Alright, MawMaw." Fiona gasped and batted at her daughter, but she knew it was true. Lula Belle's motto was the same. The women laughed.

"I'm just glad you're home." Elizabeth – Iris embraced her father.

"I'm glad to be home too." They walked to the baggage claim.

"How are things Beth? How is New York?"

"New York is wonderful, my life is content and I'm very tired." Elizabeth – Iris flatly stated; she knew she would be pressed for more details than a celebrity wedding planner as the visit wore on.

"For the love of God Beth, what did you bring? A rock collection, you know my back isn't what it used to be." Steven groused hoisting one of her two large suitcases off the belt.

"You've been complaining about your back since I was five, I'm beginning to think it was never any good in the first place." Her father batted at her this time. Mild insults and bits of sarcasm was how the Olsen family communicated. The 'I love yous' were sincere, but the backhanded compliments were plentiful.

"Ellie home?" Eleanor Olsen was an associate professor at the University of Iowa, it was a new position, but the Olsen girls were adjusting to new lives and in Eleanor's case she was success on steroids.

"Her flight gets in early tomorrow, she's on a red eye from Des Moines. Eddie's driving up Christmas Day, so for today you're an only child!" Elizabeth – Iris swore mentally, she didn't envy only children in the slightest. Siblings created a buffer between parents and answering invasive questions about grades or boys or who broke what. Iris was on her own.

"What's new here?" she asked, hoping to delay the inevitable.

"Not a whole lot, your father bought a motorcycle that works. Your grandmother's getting her hip replaced after New Years. Your cousin Matilda's pregnant with twins… um what else – Steve?" Fiona asked taking the second bag and leading the brood to the car. Steven smiled at his wife's clucking.

"It's good to have you home Duckling." Father and daughter shared a moment.

"It's good to be home Daddy."

Home for the Olsens' was in Magnolia1, a section of Seattle with views of Mountains and water; it was close to big city stuff as well. The home was built instead of a honeymoon by Steven and Fiona in the early seventies, custom for the couple and new baby. Home remained that marvelous view and personal decisions, a few renovations were made but home was home. 257 Nickerson Drive Seattle, Washington.

Elizabeth – Iris was permitted to go to her room upon arrival home. It was the same physical room that she called her own for all her youth. But as each child left the nest their rooms were taken over by the house and it was made a guest room. The soul was the same but it was tuned down. In her high school days el cuarto de Beth was bright yellow with large pictures of New York and other black and white beauties. The framed prints were still up, but the walls were now the color of butter and the posters/ pinned up quotes and 'hot guys' were long gone. Sighing she dumped her bag on the pristine bed and began unpacking. Working form the outside in she put items in order on the oak dresser that was added to the room after she'd left, replacing her countertop desk. Inside the case she found a surprise, an addition. It was wrapped in Christmas ball paper – Don. Farmer smiled and unwrapped the package. It was a tee shirt. **NYPD Girlfriend**. It was an official NYPD shirt declaring an official status. Iris felt herself beam, this idea wasn't just in her mind. _Oh happy day_. Iris picked up her phone.

"Beth! Dinner!" Fiona called.

"Damn!" Iris swore and put her phone down. "Coming!" she called. Before heading down to eat she hid the shirt in her bag, the drawer too dangerous. She went to join her parents.

"So, Beth, have you met anyone in the city?" Fiona asked as her child took her seat at the kitchen island.

"I meet people everyday mom."

"Smartass, I mean have you been on any dates with any New Yorkers."

"You shouldn't ask ambiguous questions if you don't want ambiguous answers." Farmer replied in a lawyer 101 voice.

"Just answer the damn question." It was fun making Fiona mad, Iris sighed, it was time, stalling would be futile, especially since Fiona was holding a plate to be loaded and delivered, except she wasn't putting any food on it.

"Yes, I have been seeing someone." Nice and easy.

"And…" Now was the awkward questions part, her mother was moonlighting for gossip rags, Farmer was sure.

"His name is Don Flack, he's a NYPD Detective about my age, he works with Lindsay."

"And…" Fiona waved her hand, "What's he look like? How's he treat you? Do you like him? When'd ya meet? How often do you go out? Details here girl!" Britney spears didn't even have to put up with this shit.

"You wonder why I don't come home as much. Listen here Kyra Sedgwick cut the third degree. Can I eat now?" Fiona loaded a plate and handed it over.

"Feed your daughter." Seven said entering the kitchen and accepting a plate of his own. Begrudgingly mother sat beside daughter, dropping the subject for the time.

"Thank you." Elizabeth – Iris said and ended all conversation with some very pointed eating.

"This is good; I'm gunna need the recipe."

"Will you make it for Ron?" Fiona asked excited.

"Don, Mom, his name is Don." Iris snapped.

"Don, huh?" Her father commented in a no pressure demand.

"Crypes!" Farmer exclaimed, she wanted to say _for the love of fuck!_ But she was in front of her parents…

"I'm just messin' with you Beth, I've learned to lock away and stoically deal with my ulcer while not letting my children know they are slowly KILLING me with worry and wonder." The family laughed, humor was the Olsen lifeblood.

"People wonder where my guilt comes from, thanks Daddy!" Farmer quipped.

"Hey, Lindsay, people are here for you." Danny and Lindsay had to work; in fact Lindsay had just gotten called to the field when Reily at the front desk called her.

"Who?" she asked, sounds on the other end of the line lead to,

"It's Publisher's Clearing House! Surprise!" Alan's voice said, sending a thrill through her.

"Alan!" she squealed, voice sliding up several octaves. Danny who was with her covered his ears. Lindsay hung up. She turned to him,

"My nephew's in town, can you take Mac's call?" She begged, Danny laughed and impulsively kissed her, quick, chaste, feel good.

"Of course," He told her after; she made to run, "if I can meet him." She stopped, pausing at the door.

"We'll see, thanks cowboy." And with that she booked it to the front desk. Danny laughed watching her go.

Mac smiled when Danny arrived.

"They showed up then?" he asked.

"You knew?"

"All along, I arranged her hours for this and next week to accommodate her family. They called me around the first of the month to tell me about the surprise."

"And she was, lit up like a Christmas tree and ran out of the office." Danny remembered back to how happy she was and how beautiful she looked.

"Danny, dead guy." Mac said sarcastically bringing his attention back to work. They processed.

"So." Alan began leaning in between the driver's and passenger's seats. "When do we meet him?"

"Meet who?" Lindsay asked maneuvering New York traffic while playing dumb.

"Danny! As your oldest male relative I have to pass judgment on him." The four other passengers simultaneously choked on laughter.

"Your logic is so flawed it's endearing." His mother said patting him. "One, if there' a judgment change of command you're like the secretary of defense in this flow chart. Two all permission is slipped 'cuz Lindsay is _thirty three_ years old! And can think for herself."

"Thank you Madison for reminding me of my age, I needed that." Lindsay said flatly, Jessica, who was riding shotgun smiled at her second child.

"Linds, just remember – eight years." The group laughed.

"But honestly, when are we gunna meet him?" Allen persisted.

"I don't know." Lindsay replied. "Maybe I don't want you to meet him."

"Marilyn got to meet him." Madison protested.

"Lyn never told me I was adopted by mom when I came in with one of her dead bodies2." Being eight years older Madison could start teasing her sister right away, and she had a long time before Lindsay could fight back.

"You always had more shoes than me." Maddi said as if in defense.

"You cut my Barbie's hair off – she had a bald spot!"

"Dad liked you best." The Tahoe filled with accusations – family was fun. Merry Christmas.

"I never threatened to call Santa Clause to get my way!"

"Girls! Girls be nice, I don't want to meet Danny in person when he comes to investigate your deaths. No killing each other." Jessica Monroe, the voice of reason sarcastically stated.

"So are we on the same side of town that Carrie lives?" Irene asked changing the subject with an airhead question.

Dinner with her folks was a verbal affair, the gift of gab was deep and plentiful in every member. After diner Elizabeth – Iris humored her parents as long as she could, they sat and watched National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, it was a family favorite but Eddie and Eleanor had a little one and thusly censored slightly the movie choices. Elizabeth – Iris still laughed till she cried in the same spots she always did but she could feel her energy fading, while only about nine Pacific Time Farmer's New York clock was reading midnight. And time for bed. She bid her parents good night and got ready for bed. She was washing her face and trying not to think of her Christmas present burning a hole in the zippered compartment of her suitcase when her cell phone rang. She rushed from the bathroom across the hall to her nightstand.

"Hello?" she said no longer tired, her ID had told her who it was.

"It's me." Don was on the other end. She had missed that voice.

"I had though about calling you, but was afraid it would be too late, it's close to midnight, isn't it?" she had also been at a loss as to what to say to him if she called.

"I guess, I got home at eleven and couldn't unwind unless I talked to you." His voice was soft and sounded exhausted. But he still made her heart flutter. It was so sweet and honest, he didn't seem like he was playing Prince Charming just to woo her.

"How was your trip?" he asked, they talked until they both almost fell asleep on the phone.

Lindsay worked every morning until Christmas Day, which she had off. The afternoons she was on call, but towards the bottom. It worked out well, her family on Mountain Time slept all morning and short of an absolute emergency she didn't get called when they were awake. Their afternoon consisted of sightseeing and shopping and a wonderful time, until Christmas Eve.

A knocking like to wake the dead drowned out the soft atmosphere of dinner. Lindsay approached the front door cautiously curious. She looked through the peep hole and the sight made her freeze. Paul Chadwick – shithead Paul, the devil himself. Paul was outside her door. What was she going to do?

"Linds, what the hell?" Madison asked coming into the living room.

"I know she's visiting you Lindsay! Goddamnit open this fucking door and let a man see his children!" Maddi almost fainted, Jessica turned Hulk green, she'd been dying to get her hands on the son of a bitch since she found out he was hitting her girl. Alan, despite being fresh out of the Special Forces, cowered; he was a broken man when it came to his father. Irene sat like stone at the table.

With luck Lindsay was able to slip out and confront her ex brother in law in the hall.

"Paul. PAUL!" she got his attention he growled like a subhuman being, he was starting to look that way as well. Big and bloated with a post divorce beer gut his skin was blotchy and sweaty, not as tan as it used to be. His eyes were watery and read and even with his mouth shut he smiled like whiskey.

"Ah, if it ain't Lindsay, the Grinch, can't my family and I have a nice Christmas Eve like we used to?" he slurred trying, some nonexistent charm on her.

"Like the time you broke Maddi's nose or kicked Alan so hard you ruptured his spleen3, or the Christmas Eve you put the tree through the front window? Like those happy holidays?" Paul got up in her face.

"Listen, bitch, you can't keep me from seeing my kids." The liquor breath made her gag.

"Oh yes I can, there is no way in hell you're setting foot in my house. If Alan and Irene want to see you they can come out here, but something tells me they have even less interest in seeing you than I do, and let me tell you, I have none!" she replied containing the urge to kill him. Instead she was wound like an over tuned guitar string, one more turn of the peg and she couldn't be responsible for your actions.

"You cunt." He spat, she took it.

"I suggest you leave."

Alan saw his aunt go out into the hall to confront his drunk and raging father. He knew he needed to do something, no one should be left alone with a drunk Paul, he himself couldn't, but as he shuffled his sister to the back bedroom (incase his father used his aunt as a battering ram) he thought of someone who could. On his way by he lifted her cell phone and scrolled through the contacts until he reached **DANNY**.

Danny Messer had just sat down at his sister's ornate table when his phone rang. He apologized as he went to the other room to answer it, ignoring his father's glare.

"Merry Christmas Montana." He said jollily, Lindsay could interrupt him anytime.

"Danny?" A strange male voice asked.

"Who is this?" he demanded feeling a knot of terror form in his gut.

"Alan Chadwick, Lindsay's –"

"Nephew." Danny finished feeling the knot tighten. "What's wrong? Where's Lindsay?"

"My dad's here." The young man said Danny knew what that meant.

"I'll be right over." He said gravely.

"Bring back up." The men rang off. A wave of frantic hit him, he returned to the dining room.

"I've got to go." He said to the table. "I'm sorry." He kissed his mother and thanked his sister.

"Where Danny? You're not on call tonight; can't you have one nice meal with your family?" Dominick Messer didn't like anything messing with his dominance. It was a sin to call a man away from his family.

"Dad, its Lindsay." He said before running to his car. On his way he called some old friends.

In record time Danny was at her building's front door, two cops from the 20th Precinct, Johnson and Murdock, met him at the door. They headed for her floor. Danny didn't know what to expect, but from what he could gather Paul Chadwick was a hardcore bastard. And if Lindsay was remotely hurt he was also going to be hardcore dead.

"I suggest you leave." Lindsay said. She needed this to end peacefully.

"I suggest you don't tell me what to do, now open the fucking door before I use you to break it down." He replied drawing himself up to his full height.

"Threatening an officer is never a good idea. Now you can leave or I can arrest you for drunk and disorderly. Oh… and isn't this a violation of your restraining order?"

"That's what your whore sister did not my kids!" Paul raged.

"Yes your kids! Alan was the one who filed it! You fucked up big time buddy!" Paul picked her up by the throat and slammed her into the wall, penning her with one large had. Lindsay felt the constriction and fought like the Bozeman Bobcat she was, but Paul had long arms on top of being 6'6", even swinging her legs couldn't reach him.

"You're going to get my kids out here, and they're going to be very happy to see me! You understand that bitch?! I'm a good father, goddamnit, a good fucking father!"

"The hell you are! Good fathers don't terrorize their kids and beat their wives – you want to see your children? You'll have to kill me first!" Lindsay choked out starting to get tunnel vision. It probably wasn't the best thing to say to the man slowly applying pressure to your throat and cutting off oxygen to your brain, but Lindsay was too mad to care. What he'd done to her family was beyond the pale.

"NYPD!" was the last thing she heard before blackness took over.

Danny felt a rage fill him that blocked all logic, Lindsay, his Lindsay, was penned to the hall wall, her feet dangling above the ground. A monster was before him. He wanted to _kill,_ kill the beast.

"NYPD! Drop her and put your hands up." Johnson shouted, Danny launched himself on the ogre, but before he could rip the creature limb from limb Murdock pulled him off, more than likely saving the swine's worthless life. As Johnson cuffed and Mirandized the brute Danny turned to Lindsay, she was slumped against the wall, her hands and feet moving of their own accord. He dialed 911 and numbly gave them the information; he then knelt and did his best to position her for the paramedics. Johnson and Murdock were man handling Chadwick by them,

"Cunt wouldn't let me see my kids." He spat.

"YOU DON'T DESERVE KIDS, YOU BASTARD!" Danny roared, the cops hurried the ex brother in law to the car.

Lindsay opened her eyes slowly, she could breath again, but it hurt. The copper taste of blood was choking her, coughing sent blood spraying out.

"Shit!" Lindsay heard Danny exclaim, she wanted to cry. He'd saved her, was with her – he was an absolute sense of safety. But she'd ruined his Christmas Eve, and to be completely vain – she'd never looked worse.

"Danny." she tried to say but her tongue was swollen and sore, she must've bitten it when she'd fallen - she assumed she'd fallen, seeing as she was now on the floor.

"Shh, Lindsay, and ambulance is on its way." He told her stroking her hair, her eyes came into focus and they focused on his. She saw the look, the one Farmer described, the one fairy tales were based on. He loved her.

"Danny?" the apartment door opened slowly, Alan Chadwick in the flesh poked his head out.

"Jesus!" he swore, face loosing color.

"Get the family, ambulance is on the way." Danny said returning focus back to Lindsay. Seconds later paramedics arrived, Danny explained what he knew as the Monroe clan appeared in the hall. Jessica he was familiar with thanks to two video conferences, but seeing her in person was another thing entirely. She was a stately woman, beautiful for her age and strong, the way she supported Madison spoke volumes of her physical and emotional strength. Madison, Lindsay's older sister and exact likeness was beside herself. Danny could understand the hysteria; her sister was nearly killed by the same man who'd abused her so badly that she'd attempted suicide. She was leaning heavily on Jessica. Alan, still pale was supporting his younger sister Irene. Danny left Lindsay's side to address the shaken bunch.

"Ride with her Jessie." He said, "I'll bring Maddi and the rest." The mother nodded and Danny took Madison from her side. After the ambulance left and nosy neighbors were shooed, Danny led his charges to his car; Lindsay was being taken to Sacred Heart Hospital4.

He'd loved her for a long time, he'd know it, but never named it. It was just lust, it was just flirting, it was just companionship, it was just fun. He was just wrong – it was the process of falling completely and irrevocably in love.

Lindsay was taken to the Majors part of the Scared Heart Emergency Department, an area for stable patients who still weren't out of the woods yet. A doctor was checking her over when Danny and co. arrived.

"She's going to need to be processed." Danny told the health professional who nodded and then acted accordingly. Danny stepped outside and called Mac. His boss always worked the evening shifts on holidays, as did Stella, covering for people who had family commitments.

"Taylor."

"Mac, its Danny."

"What's wrong Danny?" Mac asked knowing by the voice.

"Lindsay's at Scared Heart in the Majors, she's going to need to be processed." He was amazingly calm.

"WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?" Mac exclaimed.

"Manual strangulation and a blackout, I'll give you more details when you get here." Danny paused. "Domestic violence, Mac."

"I'm on my way."

Mac hung up and gathered his stuff. When Frankie attacked Stella he'd know that there ways no way in hell he could be impartial, he wouldn't be able to process her or speak to her and maintain any control. It was the mark of emotional involvement. Danny loved Lindsay, his calling him was all the confirmation he needed. When Mac needed the best to look after his girl he'd called Flack, Danny had called him. Mac was close to Lindsay, she was part of his team, his family. But his love for her made him seek justice. Danny's love made him seek revenge.

They met outside the small room Lindsay was moved to, both based on her condition and the CSI's presents.

"He had her by the throat up off the ground, back against the wall, she blacked out, fell when we arrested him, and bit her tongue. They're keeping her over night to run tests and make sure everything returns to normal." Danny told Mac, who nodded and entered the room. Danny joined the family in the small waiting area.

"Mac's with her now, you can go see her when he's done." Danny said, and then it hit him, he hadn't formally been introduced to these people. "I'm Danny by the way, we missed a proper introduction." What a way to meet her family.

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1 I think this is a neighborhood in Seattle, I don't know, never been to that part of the coast. So if the view or area is wrong, just ignore it.  
2 This is what it's like when my mom and my aunt get together. Madison is roughly based on my aunt, she is 8 years older and was married to an abusive husband.  
3 They repaired the rupture instead of removing the spleen because I doubt you could get into the Special Forces without one.  
4 I couldn't come up with a hospital in Lindsay's 'area' and I don't know enough about the Emergency Department (knock on wood) to feel comfortable using a real hospital. And if I'm going to use a fake hospital I might as well use my favorite one. I love Scrubs. Drs. Cox and Kelso are my favorites, for the record.


	29. I Wove Ou Tooou

In Hoxie We Trust

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Disclaimer: I own my sense of reality; actual reality is out of my hands.

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Chapter Twenty Eight: I Wove Ou Tooou

"Lizzie!" Five in the mourning on Christmas Day was only seen by Santa Clause and small children. And younger sisters. Elizabeth – Iris had been sleeping peacefully, dreaming of sex under the Christmas tree, her sweat kissed body replacing the nativity, her presents an orgasm (or two). Her reality was a very awake Eleanor Olsen bouncing on her bed shouting,

"Lizzie! Christmas! Christmas! Lizzie!" for thirty Eleanor had the heart of a three year old. Farmer pulled a pillow over her head; she just adjusted to Pacific Time.

"Die!" she groaned. _Don come back! Don cum… well… cum!_

"You're a bitch." Ever the mature one Elizabeth – Iris gave up on getting back under the tree with Don and instead turned that frustration into a beat down with a pillow. The sisters grappled for a while, their antics drawing Henry, an actual three year old. Edward had driven up from Northern Cali for Christmas Eve, he was staying through Boxing Day (only know because of proximity to Canada). Soon it was a party in Farmer's room.

"Why don't you come and see what Santa brought you?" Fiona grumbled she was like Ozzy Osborn in the morning, shakes, shuffles and obscenities.

"SANTA!" Henry exclaimed running from his aunt's room, Eleanor on his heels, Eddie followed them to do damage control. There were six in the bed and three of the immature ones said "Santa!" That left Emma, round with pregnancy #2 to roll off the bed as delicately as possible. Steven and Elizabeth – Iris were both still laughing to hard to move. Eventually after everyone brushed their teeth and ate breakfast the gifts could be opened. Elizabeth – Iris sat by the tree with Henry on her lap and tried to ignore memories of her dream as she looked at the baby Jesus and presents under the tree.

"It looks like you have one hell of a hicky." Lindsay spent Christmas morning being released from the hospital. Irene cheered her with the observation, Lindsay intense guilt ability had been firing on both cylinders. Not only had Danny spent Christmas Eve in the hospital with her, he'd probably spent the day before visiting Louie (still comatose in a hospital across town). She also felt terrible for the end of the Paul Chadwick saga, he did one thing to her and was now being brought to justice, there was no reference to the hell Paul had put Maddi through for years.

"Yeah, good thing it's scarf weather, Montana, you look pretty wild." Danny said arriving to take them all home. Something about that action made her want to cry. Under all the hard Stanton Island bullshit was a heart of gold as expansive as the Montanan sky. Irene noticed the almost tears and left; her intuition telling her this was not her moment.

"You're upset." Danny said entering the small hospital room. "What is it? What's the matter?" The concern made it worse; she began to cry in earnest.

"I ruined your Christmas." Between the swollen, bitten tongue and snot rocket sobs her words sounded more like a line from _The Elephant Man._ Danny took her in his arms and held her tight, resting his cheek on her head as she cried and snotted on his jacket.

"Montana, you could never ruin anything. This was a shitty Christmas, true, but I spent it with you, so I had a magical time. Montana – Lindsay, I love you." He told her simply, she pulled back to look at him, eyes big and bright, although slightly red. She wiped her nose before asking,

"Rehlee?"

"Yes, rehlee, I have for a while." He replied, she smiled.

"I wove ou tooou." She said, he kissed her, but stopped when he heard her hiss with pain, her tongue was still tender.

"Rain check?" he asked giving her a non-painful peck. She nodded vigorously, like an extra from Headbanger's Ball.

"Definitely."

Across the country the presents were opened, the family Olsen was showered and 'bonding time' had begun – which consisted of Edward and Steven assembling toys while watching a televised sporting event and listening to their female family gossip. This year however, before they got the pigskin Fiona had a little surprise,

"You noticed I held off on the Rockefeller Tree this year," She began putting the VHS in the antique player, "this is because there's a Christmas surprise hidden in this year's tape, try and find it." Fiona pressed play.

Elizabeth – Iris had a bad feeling but couldn't remember why, and then,

"Hi mom! Hi dad!" "Hi Fiona and Steven!" "Hi Farmer's Parents!" Her mother paused the tape for her family to get a good look at the man holding her tight. She'd successfully dodged boyfriend questions after her first night. Eleanor was also single so any question could be flipped easily. There was no way to flip video evidence. _Oops_. Was all she could think before her siblings started in on her.

"Who was that?" Eleanor exclaimed. Emma leaned forward expectantly. "And was Lindsay with you?" Elizabeth – Iris sighed, she was going to _KILL_ her mother.

"Okay, listen up, Don Flack is a NYPD Detective who works with Lindsay, I met him in October, were exclusive, but it's only been two months, so… there. And yes Lindsay was with me… and with Danny."

"One – Good for Lindsay. Two – ya gotta give us more than that girl! Details!" Eleanor exclaimed.

"One – I've got to agree. Two – you sound exactly like mom – like verbatim."

"Oh. My. God."

"Hey!" Fiona exclaimed, all verbal hell was about to break loose when Farmer's phone rang. The pointless argument still ensued but Elizabeth – Iris was spared.

"Merry Christmas." She wished Gwen.

"Bullshit." Gwen snapped. "Paul was in New York."

"Oh God."

"Yeah he put Lindsay in the hospital, she can't talk, her tongue's swollen and her throat/ airways are still tender." Elizabeth – Iris crashed into the sofa. "I just got off the phone with Jessie, - it's falling apart out there. Maddi's feeling extreme guilt and worry about Lindsay nearly dying because of her fucktard bastard ex. And Lindsay's feeling extreme and unwarranted guilt because Paul's going to prison for attacking her instead of abusing Maddi and co. for sixteen plus years – and she's afraid Maddi's going to have a 'Marsha, Marsha, Marsha' moment – which she's NOT! and Jessie's loosin' her mind taking care of two girls whacking out on unneeded emotions, and then there's Alan beating himself up because he didn't go out there himself and save his aunt – because he couldn't face his dad – which I must ask, who could? And Irene's shaken and stirred and confused. Then of course there's Danny…"

"First flight I'm there. Oh my God." Elizabeth – Iris felt herself shake.

"Take care of her Farmer." The friends rang off and Elizabeth – Iris sat stunned, just looking at her phone.

"Duckling?" Steven joined her in the living room after her failed return to the TV gab session. "Was it the movie?" Farmer shook her head and wiped her eyes.

"No. no Daddy, I've got to get home. First flight I can, I've got to pack and get to the airport…" She got up and numbly began walking to the stairs.

"Why? What happened?" Steven was moved with worry. Farmer paused.

"Lindsay was attacked." She whispered. "She's outta the hospital but Gwen just called – I gotta get out there." Her father nodded and embraced his daughter.

"Give her our love."

Elizabeth – Iris packed her bags with her phone scrunched between her shoulder and ear. She first secured a ticket, direct flight to the city. Second she called Don, she didn't have Danny's number, and wouldn't call Lindsay directly her day was hectic enough as it was.

"Merry Christmas, Iris." Don wished her, she felt terrible for jumping on him but she was so wound up.

"Do you know what the hell happened to Lindsay?" she demanded, he paused.

"I can find out." He assured her.

"I have a 2:45 direct flight." She told him.

"You'll know before lift off." The tension left her and she felt herself sag a little.

"Thank you so much, Don." She sighed. "Merry Christmas by the way." She could hear his smile.

"Merry Christmas."

Don called Mac as soon as he got off the phone with Iris; if he understood dynamics he knew that Mac would have the facts. When Stella had trusted him with hearing her story; the understanding was that Mac was desisting himself from the case for fear of jeopardizing it. He was in no condition to process her and he didn't have the control to keep from raising Frankie again and killing himself. Don was trusted with Mac's precious Stella. Danny was in the same boat and Mac would replace him as the heart keeper. In both cases the injured woman was more than flesh and blood, she was the heart and soul of the man beating outside of the body.

"Taylor." Mac said, no nonsense, no frills.

"What's the rundown on Monroe? Is she okay?" Don asked.

"She's doing alright…" And Mac told him everything – the injuries, the statements, all that he could. Flashes of Stella went through Don's mind as Mac spoke. "We got him on assault and battery, he's going away for a long time, and the evidence nailed him." There was a very scary quality in Mac's voice… This Paul had become Frankie, and Mac was still raging against the dead man.

Don called Elizabeth – Iris back and explained everything, she told him when she'd be home, and he'd pick her up. Don looked to work fill the void.

Elizabeth – Iris changed out of her Christmas dress, replacing it with her most comfortable jeans and slides, a long sleeve jersey knit went on under her NYPD Girlfriend Tee. She put her hair in a braid, grabbed her bags and headed for the airport, after explaining and apologizing, to her family and kissing them good – bye. She got to JFK at nine New York time, or six Seattle time (which totally screwed her). Don was waiting for her. His eyes lit up brighter than the Kmart mascot when he saw her shirt. After a kiss he took her home.

Lindsay got better in record time, thanks to her family, Danny, and Farmer. The drove her crazy worrying over every little aspect of everything, it was sweet, yet, hell for a girl who liked her independence. She couldn't even run to work and hide in piles of evidence – Mac had put her on leave until she was a hundred percent. Another thing that required her having an A plus in the health department was kissing Danny. Between the push and pull factors Lindsay was healed before her family headed back to Montana.


	30. Auld Lang Syne

In Hoxie We Trust

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Disclaimer: I own my sense of reality; actual reality is out of my hands.

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Chapter Twenty Nine: Auld Lang Syne

Christmas blew over, Lindsay was allowed back to work and the family Montana headed home, but the most epic part of the end of Christmas was the freedom it allowed twp CSIs…. named Danny and Lindsay. With her mother now working there were a lot more kisses and with the family gone there were a lot more dates to facilitate the new mouth to mouth interaction. Aside from family tension being eased with murder little happened between Christmas and New Years.

"Look at you!" Josh de Becque exclaimed admiring Elizabeth – Iris's outfit. Josh was the office receptionist a wry, but stylish cynic he was also Farmer's first friend in the office and New York (outside of Lindsay's crew). They embraced, doing the 'Sex and the City' kiss, he then had her spin so that the full effect of her outfit could be experienced. It was the office's New Year's Eve party and she'd dressed to impress as usual. She was wearing a purple satin asymmetrical dress; the one strap had a large bow detail. It fell to her knees and draped beautifully. And she pared it with a pair of silver Christian Louboutin four inch heels. Her accessories were sleek metal and she was fabulous.

"You're absolutely fabulous." Josh told her, she gave him the once over as well. He was wearing a nice dark grey suit with a pop art floral shirt and a skinny purple tie. His short blonde hair was styled up in a faux hawk and his Gucci drivers had an indigo sheen. His style and cynicism made him a man after her own heart. Too bad he was, quote, "Gay as a daisy in May."

"You're not too bad yourself, babe." A handsome Italian joined them; he was tall and built with quaffed raven hair and supple olive skin. What was that – a choir of angels singing Halleluiah?

"Josh, Darling, who is this?" he asked wrapping his arm around Josh's waist. It ruined the fantasy a little to find out that he was Josh's boyfriend. One – he was taken, two – he wasn't interested in her anyway.

"Mario this is Elizabeth – Iris Olsen, call her Farmer, she's a fashionista and one of our lawyers. Farmer, this is my boyfriend Mario Brazzi, he's an event planner." The man kissed the back of her hand.

"Event planning? Samantha Jones?" the group laughed.

"Weddings, funerals, baby showers, I've got you covered going, coming, and everything in between." His voice was as smooth as the satin of her dress.

They hobnobbed for a while but lawyers sometimes deserved the boring reputation and by ten Elizabeth – Iris was ready to blow her high end rented Popsicle stand. So when Lindsay sent her a very interesting picture of Don it was all the temptation she needed to leave the party early. Josh however caught her before she could make her escape.

"Just where do you think you're going?" he asked giving her a comically serious look.

"My CSI friends are having a small jamboree at their lab, and well…" She showed Josh the picture, his eyes got very wide and he whistled.

"I'm not blaming you, go enjoy that nice piece of NYPD Blue." They made their good bye embraces and Farmer managed to hail a taxi. Nearly three months of practice and coaching by a very handsome New Yorker had gotten her fairly decent at getting her self transportation.

The crime lab was a relatively quite place. The clean up of Times Square would make life busy, but the waiting was pretty chill. The break room was done up in Christmas lights and the TV was muted, the images showing the sorry excuse of Ball dropping coverage that replaced Dick Clark's Rockin' New Year's Eve. Mix CDs provide proper music and the CSIs, Lab rats, and off duty officers all enjoyed a good time with soda, junk food and crazy festive glasses.

Elizabeth – Iris got to the CSI HQ at about 10:30 and made her way to the break room feeling dramatically out of place. Cotton lab coats were now the accessory of choice.

"About time you showed up!" Lindsay playfully greeted her before adding in a hiss, "He was going to change…" Across the room stood Detective First Class Donald F. Flack Jr. in all his glory and full uniform. He was… gorgeous, smokin' hot, handsome, fabulous, studly… Farmer was now a full believer in the adage "There is nothing hotter than a man in uniform… except for a man out of uniform."

"Happy New Year Don." She said almost foolishly husky, but he was the first man she'd ever wanted to call 'yummy'. The look was definitely on par with the suit. He smiled handsomely at her.

"Aren't you just… over dressed?" he asked, she laughed.

"I snuck out of my office party because you people are way more fun. I'm sort of a CSI wannabe – a groupie if you will." She said still admiring his outfit. "And aren't you a little formal?" he looked at himself as if checking to see what he was wearing.

"This?" he motioned to the uniform, "I did the first half of the Times Square patrol and am on call for the rest of the night." The hour and a half till midnight passed quickly. Stella had gotten Mac to wear one of those glittery _Happy New Year _top hats; it was amazing what she could get him to do. Stella was wearing a pair of 2008 glasses and was documenting everyone – a little snap happy with her new camera. She did it every year, once the pictures were developed she posted the real winners in the break room for a good laugh.

"Ten… Nine…. Eight…." The TV began flashing Elizabeth – Iris was sure she could hear the actual count down from the square. The lab joined in, "Seven… six… five… four… three…" Don took Farmer's hand and smiled, "Two… One! Happy New Year's!" there was a pitiful cheer with lackluster use of noise makers, but the singing of Auld Lang Syne was worse. Don bent and planted the sexiest Mew Year's kiss even on her. She respond wanting to hang on to it – to him… but they were in his office surrounded by people so eventually and unfortunately it ended. When they broke apart the looked about, but blessed be no one commented.

Danny and Lindsay had been in the same boat, their usual kiss involved more time and tongue. The magic was all there but it was painfully short.

"Happy New Year Montana." Danny said giving her a cock – eyed smile, the resolution of 'Have Sex with Danny' rocketed to the front, passing 'Floss more' and 'Update blog'. It was suddenly very top priority.

"Back at ya Cowboy." She replied trying not to jump him there in the break room.

"Happy New Year Stel." Mac wished his long time friend. She gave him a loving pack on the lips, the one time a year that happened, starting at 12:01 he started wishing for next New Year's. Through out the year she'd kiss his cheek or he'd kiss her forehead but the magic was not nearly the same. That New Year's kiss always gave him chills and longings he'd never act on. He was afraid of hurting her and 'Protect Stella' was number one on his resolutions list, even if it meant protecting her from himself.


	31. For the Love of the Game

In Hoxie We Trust

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Disclaimer: I own my sense of reality; actual reality is out of my hands.  
_AN: I don't know what exactly got into me when I was writing this, don't hate me. I think it was the Mary Sue litmus test I found… anyway, see if you notice, and please don't hate me. There is also a fair bit of ISU Basketball trivia here, I talk about it a lot in my notes, I'm a huge fan; it's the one sport I like and only in the context of ISU Athletics. And the Cy – Hawk rivalry… anyway, enjoy!_

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Chapter Thirty: For the Love of the Game

"Hawkes is getting married." Lindsay informed Farmer as they tried to keep up in their dance aerobics class.

"Really? To that gorgeous girl I met at Mackenzie's?"

"Yep, did it on New Year's Eve."

"I didn't think he was at the party, he's a lucky guy."

"Double time!" the instructor called and conversation ended.

"Knicks game tonight." Lindsay said, they were now gaining back the calories they burned with coffee and pastries. Danny had gotten the two New York Hoxies plus Don tickets to the Knicks v. Nets game for Christmas. "And just to make sure you wear the right colors be got you this." Lindsay produced a blue tee shirt with proud orange and white letters proclaiming KNICKS on the front, the back was emblazoned with the team logo. Iris smiled.

"Thank you, I was just going to wear a sweater."

"Danny knows you are anal about dressing for the occasion." Lindsay said.

"Gee, I wonder who told him that…"

Tip off was at five, but since The Nets were a Jersey team Lindsay picked Farmer up at four. She'd also gotten a new shirt; it was blue too and long sleeved with Kelvin Cato's number 26 on the back1.

"Ready to go?" Lindsay asked her friend, she had a key and enjoyed popping in like one of the FRIENDS.

"Ready when you are." Elizabeth – Iris said checking if she still had her ticket – she did.

Madison Square Gardens, the basketball arena was packed – a mad house. Even outside – New Yorkers took its sports seriously. It took them a while, but eventually Lindsay and Farmer found Danny and Don.

"Bout time, Montana – geez." Danny heckled.

"Shut up Messer, every basketballer in the city's out since they announced the Nets move, they want to get in on the hot anti – Jersey action while they still can." Danny wrapped his arm around Lindsay,

"Spoken like a true New Yorker." He gushed Farmer and Don exchanged eye -rolls.

"Come on, the Garden ain't getting any less full." Don said taking Iris' hand and heading towards the doors.

"'Fraid we won't have a seat?" Danny asked following, arm still around Lindsay.

"Nah, but I need a beer and proper ball food and I'm not missin' tip off to get it." The friends laughed and made their way into the area.

Madison Square Gardens was, in a word, epic. It as huge, seating 19,000 plus, there were two restaurant/ bars on top of a revamped food court. For a girl used to college ball and college amenities it was overwhelming. Elizabeth – Iris had been part of the 'Hilton Magic'2, the college basketball student section, she knew basketball but the Garden was a completely new experience. Completely new basketball. At Dowd food consisted of Soda, water, beer, Nachos, popcorn, pretzels, kettle corn, ice cream, walking tacos, pizza, hot dogs, and candy – all prepared by old ladies volunteering and high school students making minimum wage. The Garden had all that (minus Grandmas and teens) plus deli sandwiches, ribs, restaurant type meals, and salads. SALADS. It was a new frontier. Don and Iris broke off and found a more traditional concession stand.

"A beer, two dogs, fries, and whatever she's havin'" Don told the kid behind the counter.

"I can pay for my own food Don." Iris objected, Don gave her a look and she huffed,

"Fine, but I've got the next round."

"What would you like lady?" the kid asked, _Lil' punk_, Don thought shooting him a look.

"Two slices of cheese and a beer." Don paid and Iris held his nachos and beer while he fixed his 'dawgs'. Lindsay had a love of accents but occasion brought such humor that Iris found the New York way of speaking work its way into her heart. 'Dawg' it added to the ambiance.

They met up with Danny and Lindsay at the seats. The other couple had gone the purely junk route – between them was the largest commercial tub of popcorn known to man and a few species of Money. Lindsay had poured a few bags of M&Ms over the top,

"Chocolaty popcorn and beer – mmm mmm good." Iris mocked taking her eat behind Lindsay, Danny wasn't able to get all four seats in a row, but two seats in consecutive rows.

"You bet." Lindsay said popping the chocolate and salt mix in her mouth. She'd done this in college, the Hoxies gagged then and Iris gagged now.

"You should try it Farmer, its good." Danny encouraged taking a massive handful of the stuff. Lindsay had chipmunk cheeks but managed a smile. Elizabeth – Iris resisted the urge to pop her cheeks like Bulushi's zit. But now was not the time. Don sat next to her and whispered,

"That's weird. But kind of sweet."

"And salty." Iris replied.

"Foul!" Iris howled with the rest of home crowd after a Nets player stiff armed and plowed his way to the basket, looking more like a Heisman trophy than a basketball player. The ref called it and in an amazing deep voice she shouted,

"You betcha ya!"3 Lindsay hadn't been kidding about the rabid fan – ness. He was a basketball man himself so he was very happy. She was adorable in the tee he and Danny picked out for her. She wore it with jeans and worn sneakers – it was the most dressed down he'd ever seen her, aside from when she moved.

The game continued and Iris sat back, sipping her beer. It was a true sip, he wasn't sure if she got any liquid out of the glass. It was almost half time and he was about to make a beer run, his and Danny's glasses were empty, Lindsay was almost done. Elizabeth – Iris' looked barely started.

"Planning on being the DD?" he asked, she looked at him, he looked at her glass, and she followed his gaze.

"Oh – only for the love of the sport do I drink this stuff. I really don't' like beer." It was a fault, there were bigger ones, but it was still a fault.

He headed for the concessions trying to beat the half time rush; this was after a Mexican stand off with Iris over paying. She'd said she was getting the next round and she intended to do just that. True a woman offering to way was nice but he could handle the tab most of the time, he just appreciated the thought. But Iris was damn independent. He was sure he'd never see the day when a girlfriend of his was too independent, but here he was… well Aiden had been very independent, but she'd also been just a girlfriend. Two words. Elizabeth – Iris Olsen was a one word girlfriend and from his thoughts it seemed that they were at the first round of reviews, it was month three- girlfriends and the economy got reviewed every fiscal quarter.

He liked Elizabeth – Iris, that was first and foremost, she was just a likeable person – smart, funny, pleasant (usually), just downright likable. He also found her to be incredibly attractive. She wasn't like his past girls – tall, legging, going for the cold beauty look; she was short and real and had amazing comfort with her self. Her sense of humor meshed well with his and there was a mindfulness of duty that was honorable. She took care of her friends, even if it meant flying back early from her family. Her clients got the same attention, he would've taken her out more but it seemed every time he called her she as at work – she went in at seven and came home at six with a stack of files and worked from home the rest of the evening. This brought him to the faults portion of the show. She worked way too much. As a cop, crazy schedules came with the territory, hers was self induced. She was a little anal – like with the packing and the paying. There was also this dislike of beer and a willful ignorance of baseball – she didn't like all the numbers and there was a lot of stopping. As a New Yorker the love of baseball and the smug confidence of knowing he as in the center of the universe were facts so deep in him they were his blood. She only had a marginal interest in football. While not deal breakers the lack of sports interest was disheartening. As for her work habits he worried more that anything else, it seemed especially bad now. But she passed his analysis with flying colors, she made him happy. Just… happy and happy was a hard emotion. Content was one thing, this was another.

He knew he wasn't perfect either and to expect another person to be was hypocritical. Off the top of his head he knew that serious wasn't a strong suit, anger and annoyance where sometimes too freely expressed, and his little black book was actually a volume set. There were faults to discuss when it came to him but that would be another thought process, he was up for ordering. His mother's voice closed the mental meeting, "We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly."

* * *

1 One – I don't follow any NBA games/ teams, I don't follow anything professional and sport like, so I have no idea about any of what I'm saying here. I do know that Cato actually got waved, but he's and ISU grad, my hometown's college – yay baby! Anyway… just play along.

2 Very real, very awesome, the one sport I do follow is Iowa State University's Women's basketball. And Hilton is the basketball stadium in Ames, the students make the atmosphere really fun, definitely come and see a game if you ever stumble into Iowa. The Women also win!

3 One of the monuments of the Hilton Magic is 'Wild Bill' he's been going to ISU Men's and Women's basketball since the invention of program it seems, when the ref calls the appropriate foul he and some of the young bucks trying to be like him shout 'You betcha ya!' and then do the dog pound. It's most entertaining.


	32. You’re the Devil

In Hoxie We Trust

* * *

Disclaimer: I own my sense of reality; actual reality is out of my hands.

* * *

Chapter Thirty One: You're the Devil

Flack was mildly surprised when he rounded a corner and found Elizabeth – Iris leaning on an empty desk in the middle of the CSI offices. He was very appreciative, he hadn't seen her since the Knicks game almost a week ago, he'd called her a few times and work had always tied her up. She could spare a few phone conversations and that was it. Her head was down over her Blackberry so he could observe her. She looked tired even though she was still dressed in her usual impeccable and flamboyant style. She was wearing a suit, he could see why suits flipped her switches - this one was turning him on. It was a charcoal grey pinstripe that she had paired with a blood red shirt and yet another pair of roach killer stilettos, also in red. This was the very essence of professionalism; the most corporate he'd ever seen her. Her hair was even in a sleek bun at the base of her skill. She was wearing glasses – but they didn't cover the lines or bags around her eyes. Her posture, for all the airs, was limp.

"Don't you have a job?" He asked her, slightly jealous that she was here and not seeing him, he also wanted to see her face with the spectacles. She looked up; they were cat eye glasses, full on back and rhinestone 1950s cat eye glasses.

"Lindsay, Stella, and I were going to have a girls only lunch." she told him as she shut off her email and slipped it into attaché case that matched her lipstick. He took the few steps to bring himself closer to her, their thighs touched. This work thing was a fault and it was going to kill him.

"Can I come?" he asked a little husky, the glasses were sexy, he had to admit. Dorothy Parker was wrong; this man was making a pass at a lass in glasses. She stood up off the desk to look him almost squarely in the tie clip.

"What part of 'girls only' don't you understand?" She asked.

"Can we have an 'us only' lunch sometime then?" _Some time soon?! _He asked her, her crimson lips curled into a sad smile.

"I don't know, I would've skipped this one except Lindsay threatened to arrest me if I did, work's gotten worse – this case is…" she said softly, moving a hand up to take off her glasses, but he caught her wrist and moved her hand to slide the nose piece back up the bridge of her nose, keeping them on her face. There was a brief flash of wonder in her violet eyes, like she didn't understand why he wanted her frames on her face still. The flash faded though, and was replaced by a mocking humor, it was ridiculously attractive. She was playing with him. He kept his hand on her wrist, with his other he pulled out his cuffs,

"Do I have to use these on you too?" he asked, her crimson lips curled into a wicked smile.

"I hope so. Although those might hurt, maybe if they were fur trimmed…" Temptress!

"You're the devil." He groaned, their lack of time together also meant a lack of sex, and he hadn't been this sex obsessed since his teens, she'd taken over his Phoebe Cates in the pool fantasies.

"La Diabla - and you say that like it's a bad thing." she purred with an eyebrow raised. He kissed her, hard, fast, with desire and no care about being in the middle of the office. What she did to him!

"Ahem." Stella coughed forcing the lovers to part and Don to revert back to his role - humorous side kick not passionate kisser. The women air kissed each cheek; left, right, left before Elizabeth – Iris asked,

"Linds ready to go yet?"

"Just about she was heading into the locker room as I was heading out. We were thinking about popping down to the coffee shop around the corner since none of us can steal much time, they have good coffee and tea and very cute sandwiches and salads." Stella said.

"C'est magnifique!" Don had to laugh; only a woman would call food cute. The women looked at him.

"What?" Stella asked in mock harshness.

"Oh, I was thinking about how the boys and I were going to hop down to the hot dawg stand for our own little cute lunch!" he said in a deliberately poor imitation of the women. The girls tried to glare, but laughed instead.

"Now I have an image of Mac in one of those mall Easter bunny suits." Elizabeth – Iris commented.

"At least it wasn't the Hefner kind." Don barely got out, there were laughs and groans.

"Danny likes to eat 'cute' things too." Stella added once the mirth died.

"That my friends, is an entirely different conversation." Lindsay said announcing her joining of the group. "We gunna go?" Don and Elizabeth – Iris exchanged looks.

"I'll call you." Farmer said kissing him quickly and picking up her briefcase and tossing her glasses in their case. The other two women watched and then after the display was done walked her away, out to their lunch. Don watched them go.

"'Ey, Don, you seen Lindsay?" Danny asked, meeting up with Don moments after the women left.

"Just left with Stella and Farmer, going out for lunch."

"While the girls are away the boys will play!" Danny exclaimed, pound fists with Don.

"You guys seen Stella?" Mac asked coming up to Danny and Don. "Uh, Don…" Mac had taken a second look at the detective and was now motioning that he should wipe his mouth. Confused Don did so, his hand came away with crimson lipstick. "It's a good color on you."

"Stella's Out to lunch." Danny informed their boss, once the mocking of Don's lipstick was over.

"Wanna grab a dawg?" Don asked gruffly rubbing the offensive color on his pants.

Don's phone rang the next day, he was at his desk and in need for a break; he checked his ID and smiled.

"Hello, Iris." He said.

"Oooo you're good." She cooed. "Still interested in lunch?"

"I'm not a man to ever turn down food." He replied.

"I've got an opening in my schedule tomorrow; I can squeeze you in – got an hour over noon?"

"Yep, I don't work till three, so I've got all the time in the world." He told her.

"Till three…" he laughed with her.

"I'll pick ya up at work…" Don said, "noon ish."

"That sounds fabulous." She said flirt in her voice, it then changed. "Thank you Don." The second statement was soft.

"Not a problem, picking you up is close to work." He told her, humble was a well learned value, although hearing her thank him was still celebrated on the inside.

"Not just for driving, but for handling my working crazy hours and still wanting to see me after not seeing me for so long. I'm really sorry our dates haven't been conventional – like regularly occurring and the like." He could practically hear the 'I wish we'd had a 'proper' third date'.

"You haven't driven me away yet." He told her.

"You're the absolute best Don." She told him before ringing off.

Iris' building was a pretty typical one – boxy, grey, tall, the city had great architecture but one wouldn't know it by looking at the public law office. The inside was as uninspiring as the outside. He remembered apartment hunting with her, it was no wonder she wanted something "antidisestablishmentarian-istic" her office was a cookie cutter hell.

"Can I help you?" the receptionist at the front desk asked not looking up from her catalog – he had nothing but respect for receptionists, they had to deal with idiots and assholes all day but he hated bitchy ones.

"Yes, Elizabeth – Iris Olsen?" the first breath the woman's head shot up, she gave him a look like he was tuna and she was a starving Tabby.

"Just a moment, please." She purred, he wanted to roll his eyes but she was watching him intently.

"Seventh floor, suit five, office two." She stopped watching him only long enough to read the information. "I can show you." She offered batting her eyes. He wished he could say he never bought into such blatant ploys, but the memories of his twenties were still vivid.

"I'm sure you could." He said, "but I'm good, thanks." With that he dismissed her offer.

The suit was a little more personal – in a corporate focus group sort of way. The 'lobby' was well let with classy fake wood and high end molded plastic chairs with thin cushions. The reception desk was frond and center; it was a high counter model with matching fake wood paneling. A stocky blonde sat behind the counter eating sushi, the guy swallowed before asking,

"Can I do something for you, sir?" much nicer than the woman downstairs.

"Elizabeth – Iris Olsen, please." He wasn't exactly sure how this picking up thing worked. The receptionist pulled up her date book, and then studied him for a moment.

"Don, right?" he finally asked.

"Yeah." The guy smiled.

"Nice to meet you, her office is last on the right, got right on in and get comphy, she's primping in the bathroom right now, although she called it 'making copies'." They laughed. "Any way, she'll be right back."

"Thanks." Don said heading as indicated, the guy gave him one last look and then returned to his sushi.

Elizabeth – Iris' office was a closet – a walk in closet with a window, a cubical with a door. It was tiny. Her desk was in the middle of the room; behind it was a counter under the window with a computer and printer in front of it he nearly tripped over two chairs identical to the waiting ones. To his left was a wall of shelves, his right file cabinets. The walls were very white. The window had purple curtains and a little plant. A big picture of the Space Needle and her diplomas decorated the free walls; it was pretty homey for being new. Don flopped down in her rolly chair, it was new – it moved like a dream, unlike his. Her desk was neat. Lavender legal pads didn't really spice up the basic office equipment. However she had pictures. One was of her family at a wedding – her brother at a guess, he looked very much like the older man, the two dark haired women, Elizabeth – Iris and another looked like sisters, and the bride was a blonde. Another photo was of the Hoxies in some sort of lodge or pub, it looked fairly recent. The third frame was the most interesting. It was a picture of him… and her from New Year's Eve, he could tell by her dress, his uniform, and Mac in the background in that stupid hat. He stared at the picture and felt like saying 'aw', she had a picture of him on her desk – it was sweet. They were cute together.

"You're in my chair." Elizabeth – Iris in the flesh got his attention.

"Makes people come back faster." He replied, spinning around on the new, moveable seat – it was fun.

"Steal and die" She said watching him spin and laugh.

"I think you'd notice me trying to sneak it out." He replied standing up. "Ready to go?"

"Just need to grab my bag and my jacket." She replied closing the door a little to get at the hooks on it's back. Her bright red attaché hung neatly beside her jacket, it matched the pencil skirt and vest she was wearing, a black three piece suit with a jewel purple silk shirt under it. It was once again corporate with flair. She put the jacket on, adjusted it and grabbed her bag and smiled at him. He hit the lights on the way out.

"Going out to lunch." She told the receptionist. "Don't call me unless it's muy importante."

"Sí Señora." He replied with a salute and a wink. She laughed and they headed out. When they hit the lobby Don took her hand and shot a pointed look at the receptionist whose look told him that he just rained on her parade. He smiled something inside of him felt good for being taken. He handed her into the car and ignored the feeling.

Don took her to Coogan's an Irish Pub he adored, it was a laid back place with food that hit his Irish roots and love of comfort food. Elizabeth – Iris just thought it was cozy and cute. They got a small seat and enjoyed their conversation and atmosphere. Although inevitably the talk turned to work.

"I'm so sorry, work has been… madness." Elizabeth – Iris apologized, "But I'll make it up to you." The worst part of her insane work was she saw Don very little, she saw no one most of the time, other than her colleagues. But Don was only a thought spared briefly in between shifting files. And with all this absence he was very found in her heart, and most desired. She had sex based on the number of dates she had – the old third date rule, months of not seeing someone did not create the connection required for a non one night stand bout of sex. Unfortunately the right time took a long time and the dry spell was like to kill her. She hadn't had sex with another human in over two years; any woman who said she didn't need a man had a better vibrater than she did. If she ever got this case wrapped up Don Flack would be a well and thoroughly loved man. Don made some sweet and understanding remark but Iris didn't hear it, she was too busy imagining what they'd do first. The positions, the sights, the tastes, the sounds – bass and soprano as that feral, baser being was let loose. She slid her sling back off of her left foot and uncrossed her legs. Her stocking clad foot lightly padded around the floor, thankful for the table cloth, no one would know that she was playing footsie with the handsome detective. Her toes found his shoes and keeping up with the conversation they slowly slid along the top of his foot to his pants leg. She leaned forward and pulled her chair in closer to the table, her legs were a little too short, the jerk motion made her bump him and she apologized, pretending it was a freak accident that her legs were that close to his shin. He brushed it off and she got herself in place again. Her foot slid up his shoes and found the hem of his pants. Cocking her foot sideways a little she slid her toes up his leg feeling the fabric of his slacks move up and his sock under her foot. She went up slowly and then down equally as teasingly. His words hiccupped and he gave her a look, she did her best to remain neutral. She moved to the other side of his leg and repeated the motion, rubbing the top of her foot along his calf. She rubbed along each side of his leg once more and then retreated, he tried to keep place in the conversation but he was most distracted and there was a small fire in his eyes. She recrossed her legs, making sure her still shoeless foot grazed over his zipper, the fire in his eyes went from match head to forest fire in an instant. His cobalt eyes dark with desire his hand shot to hers and she could see his mind trying to form some sort of statement. Unfortunately his best woo was cut off by the ring of her phone, the Sex and the City theme was no longer cute and kinda fun – it was eeeeevvvvviiiiilllll. Don stopped, the moment was over, Farmer angrily grabbed her cell and looked at the id – it was Josh.

"It's work." She said apologetically, didn't they just discuss how she worked too much?

"Then you better take it." He told her releasing her hand, she hit the talk button as she slipped her shoe back on, flirting was over.

"You're such a dead man if this isn't good." She hissed. Josh's chuckled sounded in spite of himself.

"You know I hate interrupting you, especially when you're with gorgeous boyfriend of yours but I can't reach Rosie." The smile Elizabeth – Iris had been sporting that was one part bliss at being with Don, one part enjoyment of Josh was wiped off of her face.

"How many times have you tried?" She asked trying not to worry; people could miss one phone call, right?

"Like 69 times, no joke." That put an end to her optimism, Don could sense it like a dog could sense a storm, he signaled for the check.

"I'll go over there as soon as I can." She said seriously.

"Take Don with you, Farmer, I've got a bad feeling about this, a very bad feeling. Like a Gigli bad…" Laughing at inappropriate situations was her specialty and she chuckled as she hung up the phone.

"I'll see, don't worry about me." She said and they disconnected. The waitress had just handed Don the bill when Iris hung up, she tossed her phone in her bag and reached for her wallet.

"Drop it." Don said not looking at her.

"Huh?" she tried to by coy.

"I asked, I pay, wasn't that a rule you taught me?" She loved to hate a man who was right. "Do you need me to turn the siren on to get you to work?" he asked, sounding a little annoyed, a little humorous.

"Not to work, but I still might need you to use the sirens. Can I steal you for a little while longer?" She said more seriously than usual.

"What's up?" Don asked, the waitress returned with his change, Iris picked up her things and they headed out the door.

"The case is complicated, but about a month ago a woman named Rosie Martinez, she'd discovered some thing about the company she worked for and was worried about being a whistle blower. She got fired and wanted to sue, one because when they fired her they didn't follow through on some of their contractual obligations and two because of what they were doing. She was getting threats and as she started getting in deeper and we found out more about what exactly was going on she started fearing for her safety. She gave me a key to her apartment she was so sure something would happen. Josh tried getting in touch with her, a reminder about our appointment this afternoon. She's not picking up." Elizabeth – Iris gave him the skinny. "Josh asked me if I would go over and check on her." Don set his jaw.

"I'm going in with you." He said.

"I'm glad; this is getting like a Gresham novel. I'm just a lawyer working for the state!" The levity did little to lighten the mood, which got greyer and more worrisome as she directed him to Rosie's apartment.

"Rosie! Rosie its Isabella!" Elizabeth – Iris shouted at the door as she knocked. The apartment building was small and old and only moderately kept up it was the best of the worst located on the edge of Hell's Kitchen – the still dangerous edge, Don was on hyper vigilance. After no answer and a lot of thumping Elizabeth – Iris dug out the apartment key; it was on a _Te Amo Peru_ keychain that swung about visibly as Farmer's hands shook trying to unlock the door. Eventually she got the door open, they stepped inside.

The apartment was… destroyed. Not poor housekeeping but full on ransacking and struggle. He was very glad he'd come, this needed to be called in, it was unsafe.

"Iris, we need…" he tried to tell her they had to get out ant call it in, but the second the sight registered with Farmer she was tearing through the massacred rooms shouting,

"Rosie! Rosie!" Moving amazingly well in a tight pencil skirt and sling back heels.

"Iris! Iris, this is –" dangerous he swallowed his words when she screamed. The details of finding here were a blur, he just knew that he did. He skidded to a stop in the door of a bedroom, Iris was inside hysterical. She ran into his arms and buried her face in his chest sobbing and cowering. He looked over her head and saw what she saw… the amount of blood was substantial, lying in it was a woman and a boy, faces smashed in, the back of the boy's head missing – most likely fro ma very close range shot. It was grizzly. Not a good sight at work, but finding it was gruesome, especially finding it with Iris. Shaking and quite out of himself he called 911. As he told the dispatcher their position he tried his best to get Elizabeth – Iris out of the apartment, she was in absolute, immobilizing shock.

They waited in the hall for the cops to arrive, Iris wasn't crying anymore, but was still shaking, Don had her wrapped tightly in his arms and could feel her quake. He himself was shaken and his job dealt with scenes like the one in the bedroom. It was just that out of context death was a scary thing. But he couldn't be too frightened, Elizabeth – Iris was in his arms and he'd be damned if he didn't do everything in his power to protect her. The thought of her coming here alone chilled him, but not as much as the thought of who did this to Rosie – if this was about the case… Elizabeth – Iris Olsen, his Iris, might be next on the list.


	33. Meanwhile, Back at the Ranch

In Hoxie We Trust

* * *

Disclaimer: I own my sense of reality; actual reality is out of my hands.

* * *

Chapter Thirty Two: Meanwhile, Back at the Ranch

"Danny, you really need to clear a path to your –" Lindsay's complaint was lost to a whimper of desire as Danny's lips found a little known erogenous zone on her neck. They were stumbling through his apartment from door to bed managing to hit every wall and furniture item as they blindly tried walking and kissing and stripping. Danny made no reply, almost as if he didn't hear her for focus on the impending sexual intercourse. He laid her on the bed and toed his shoes off as he arranged a condom for easy action. Lindsay laid back on his bed stretching long and smiling. _Bye bye celibacy._

Their first official date had been around Halloween, since then there hadn't been many evenings alone. Yes, they saw each other all the time at work, but that was hardly romantic. They saw each other outside of the office but it was off and on, most dates either got interrupted by work or were with people from work. The Halloween party was a group date, with among others Mac. Thanksgiving was with her family, Christmas was with Don and Elizabeth – Iris; fun, less awkward than Mac, but not a date that led to the activities currently being enjoyed.

Danny growled as he buried his face in her cleavage, he slingshotted the support garment somewhere off to the left. Lindsay heartily moaned, wrapping her limbs about him, pulling him close.

They had gone bowling. True, not the most romantic evening ever; the smell of stale beer and cigarettes, dirty shoes and floor wax, not an ode de amore. But Lindsay was so excited when she saw the ally on the way to his intended destination that he forgot his plans and took her to the lanes. People didn't see the sex aspect of bowling (other than the Freudian appearance of the pins), but as Danny slipped on the Day-Glo condom he begged the differ. There were a lot of laughs, bending – both to roll the ball and to check the score, and of course bouncing when she got her first strike. All this visual stimulation was enough to bring about the joyous evening that was being had.

He slid in, taking his time, both for himself and for her. It was their first experience together; he wanted to savor the feeling of her. All of their time together but not in bed had created an emotional connection he'd never experienced before. He also took the time for her, their feelings shared told him she was a little… tight. Before he could fathom weather or not she was a virgin her cell phone rang her work ring. Danny swore a blue streak like none other.

"Son of a Fucking Bitch! Goddamnit! Shit, Shit, Shit!" Lindsay busted out laughing, the moment already ruined.

"I've got to take that, I'm still on call." She said and with great pain and humor they untangled. Lindsay's phone was in her jeans pocket, the garment lay crumpled at the foot of his bed, allowing her time to throw a shirt on before answering. She always had to be clothed to even think about answering the phone – she always felt like the person on the other end knew she was naked. And God if it was Mac – the man was psychic.

"Monroe." Lindsay said answering her phone, Danny was still grousing in the background.

"Lindsay, its Mac. You've got to get down to the lab." The pit fell out of her stomach – this was going to be 'their only case' she could tell. Their only cases were the worst cases; massacres, political scandals, kidnappings, and assassins – those were the 'only cases'.

"Mac, what's happened?' She asked.

"Elizabeth – Iris found the body of one of her clients." The feeling in her gut reached a new low.

"I'm on my way, how's Farmer?" she tried to remain calm and put her underwear on while talking about her best friend to her boss. Danny instantly sat up straight and shut up.

"Shaken but physically fine, Flack was with her then, and he's with her now. They're at the lab if you want to see her, but I really need you processing." Mac said reassuringly.

"I'll be right there Mac." Lindsay said ringing off. She had her pants on and phone put away before Danny could ask,

"What's wrong?"

Lindsay processed the scene as asked by Mac, she was numb while doing it. The scene was intense, scary, bloody, and violent. As a trained investigator she should be used to scenes like this, but she was not. If she was rattled Lindsay could not imagine how Elizabeth – Iris as handling this – handling the fact she found the bodies, bodies of people she knew. Lindsay could only take comfort in the fact that Don was with her. This little miracle however didn't lessen her burning desire to be with her friend, she was on fire with concern. But Mac had asked her to process, she knew the best way to help was to nail whoever did this, but all logic was lost when it came to Farmer. Lindsay was chomping at the bit to get back.

"Lindsay." Danny said, "Between the four of us," he motioned to Stella, Mac, himself and her, "I think Hawkes will need some help in the lab when we bring in all the evidence. Why don't you head back?" She opened her mouth to fight being sent back, it was like getting benched for the biggest game of the season, but the look Danny gave her effectively closed her mouth.

"Give her love from all of us." He said, hugging her tightly as best he could without his gloved hands touching her. She nodded and kissed her cheek.

Elizabeth – Iris sat silently in the break room starring into a plastic coffee cup as if it held the meaning of life, not just the caffeine required to live it. She was pale except for the Alice Cooper tracks of her eye make up, her Rudolph red nose that went with cried off mascara. She'd also scrubbed her hands and face until Don made her stop, she'd had blood everywhere, it'd invaded her senses and covered her – face, hands, and clothes. Her suit was now in pieces on a lab table, she was wearing a crime lab jumpsuit and a pair of Don's socks. Even with the wardrobe change and scrubbing she felt covered – suffocated, but also numb. This was an overwhelmed on an entirely different plane than anything else. Every other whelming had been nothing compared to this.

"Farmer." Lindsay entered the empty break room feeling everything her friend had felt when she'd learned she was in the hospital. Farmer looked up at her slowly with a certain disconnect. Lindsay rushed the table.

"Oh my God, Honey, are you all right? How are you feeling?" The women embraced, Lindsay squeezing her friend tightly, questions coming a mile a New York minute. She just had to know if Elizabeth – Iris was alright.

But Farmer wasn't saying anything, for a horrible second the idea that Elizabeth – Iris Olsen, Farmer, was muted with shock made tears spring to Lindsay's eyes. Talking was part of Farmer's identity, that and her shoes, she just wasn't Farmer without her four inch pumps and witty one liners. And then, in a barely recognizable voice, Elizabeth – Iris spoke,

"Would you just STFU for like a second?" Lindsay could've hooted with joy but she clamped her lips together, laughing at her friend's response, but still crying and holding on to Farmer for dear life. Elizabeth – Iris pulled away slowly, her actions were far less animated than normal, her voice horse and tired but her words were the same as ever.

"Lindsay, what are you doing here? I thought you and Danny were on a date. An _important_ date." Leave it to Farmer to say _that_ in a time of crisis. It was morbidly humorous both in content and flat delivery.

"We were." Lindsay replied.

"What are you doing here then?"

"Are you seriously worried about Danny and I after finding the dead body of one of your clients?" Tears flooded Elizabeth – Iris' eyes and Lindsay felt a dagger twist in her heart; that had hurt. She moved to comfort the feelings she just destroyed but Elizabeth – Iris stopped her. Pinching the bridge of her nose she swore,

"Fuck, I thought I'd quit crying." She said. Shock and aw were in flux when she wasn't absolutely numb she was a waterfall of emotions. Fetal position crying as well as raging anger. Before slipping into the limbo Lindsay had found her in, when coffee was interesting she'd been so irrational she told Don, who'd only been trying to help to fuck off. She was tired of being asked what she was feeling – she didn't know! He'd said he'd take a walk and left her to slip into her thoughts. Lindsay laughed a little, taking solace in Farmer still being Farmer. She led her friend over to the sofa.

Elizabeth – Iris slowly pulled herself together, eventually only a slight flush gave away the weeping of moments earlier. Lindsay patted her hands.

"We're going to nail this fucker don't worry." Elizabeth – Iris smiled weakly.

"Kick him once for me." The women laughed.

"Iris we can go home now." Don said quietly entering the break room where Lindsay and Farmer sat talking about anything and everything to keep Elizabeth – Iris' mind off of the last few hours. He'd changed as well, his suit had been given over to the CSIs like Iris' clothes, he had put on his emergency bag clothes; slacks and a dress shirt. The pants had a dark near sheer sheen to them and his shirt was alight grey sky blue – like the early morning. The color brought out his eyes that were displaying his every thought. Lindsay and Elizabeth – Iris got along so well because they had the same problem. They knew all about each other and their loves, Lindsay could see in Don's eyes that he loved Elizabeth – Iris. Farmer was literally blind to this, she was sure. Elizabeth – Iris had called her blind and she'd been, it was now Lindsay's turn to call out her friend. But not in front of Don, who, while in love with her was also scared as hell.

Elizabeth – Iris got up, she was ready to go home.

"Stella regrets to inform you that your cloths are in no condition to be returned." Iris paled another shade.

"Tell her I am in no condition to receive them – I don't want them, burn them." She paused. "Even the shoes."

"_Even the shoes?"_ Lindsay repeated, this was big – traumatizing for Elizabeth – Iris Olsen to give up shoes. Farmer looked at her friend and her eyes said it all.

"Come on," Lindsay said, "Let's get you some real clothes." The women left Don who was uncharacteristically quite.

"How's she?" Sheldon asked. Lindsay had joined him after seeing to it that Farmer was dressed and Don was taking her home. If the situation was other than what it was innuendo would've flown, but the situation was exactly what it was, sadly.

"As well as to be expected." Lindsay told her lab partner who observed a moment of silence before asking,

"Don with her?"

"Yeah, he's taking her home."

"Her home or his home?"

"Her home." She said, pausing after snapping on her exam gloves. "She's going to need alone time."

"Will she be okay with alone time?" Sheldon asked, victims, families, and the like were watched and worried about when they were alone.

"She'll be less okay with someone with her. She's got to decompress by herself, she hates for people to see her cry." Sheldon nodded and they began processing the brutal evidence.

At the end of the day no one could take it any more, the case was going to be a test of endurance for them all.

Sheldon went home that night at the limits of his mental and physical capabilities. Talitha was not home, as a senior in college and working in New Jersey her hours were long and late. When she returned to his apartment, their new home, Sheldon was curled up asleep on the couch, his place in _Ender's Game_ lost when he fell sleep while waiting for her. He was too big to move and too peaceful to wake so Talitha wrapped his grandmother's quilt around him, picked up his book and set his alarm. Kissing his forehead good night she went to his bed alone.

Mac rested his head on his desk in an act of exhaustion. This was a personal case which made it the toughest case. Elizabeth – Iris Olsen was dear to the team. Certainly Stella's friend he enjoyed her company as well. To Lindsay she was a sister and to Don, to Don she was more than Mac could say. Lindsay and Don both had fathers both had fathers, Flack Sr. was an exceptional man, but Mac felt like they, and the rest of his team, were his children. He rolled his shoulders, feeling arthritic gravel bounce around the joint. The weight was pressing in on his shoulders and his head and his heart. Mac groaned. Cool, slim fingers knew exactly where the knot was, Mac melted under the knowledgeable touch.

"They're going to be okay Mac." Stella said untying his stress through his shirt. "There's only so much weight these old things can carry." She prodded a particularly tight knot for emphasis Mac smiled while his headache still let him.

"I know." He said "But-"

"Don't 'but' me" she replied cutting him off. "How's your head?"

"It hurts." She moved her magical hand to his neck, he hissed away his pain.

"Lets get you home, you've logged enough over time this month." He didn't put up a fight and she led him to her car. Their travel was silent; she followed him without his asking her. She stayed and he changed out of his work togs. He tucked himself in and she warmed the lavender pad she'd gotten him because he was too 'manly' to buy such a thing for his headaches.


	34. Three Times

In Hoxie We Trust

* * *

Disclaimer: I own my sense of reality; actual reality is out of my hands.

* * *

Chapter Thirty Three: Three Times

Don took Elizabeth – Iris home wordlessly. The drive was silent, the floor didn't creak when he walked her up - it was as if the world was on mute.

"Thank you." She said, finally breaking the silence. They were outside her door and it was obvious she was not letting him in. Logic and emotion were in conflict over this.

He knew Elizabeth – Iris Olsen was an independent woman, she hated when men paid for her dinner. When Lindsay hade a bad case she charged into battle to slay the inner dragons. Knights in shinning armor didn't like for mere mortals to see the chinks in their chain mail. However, he didn't care how damn proud or how fucking heroic she was – he loved her, goddamnit, and he was going to protect her. Because that's what a person in love did, they protected their loved ones. And he just used the 'L' word three times. Oh for the love of God!

"You haven't gotten shot of me yet, Iris, open the door." He told her evenly.

"It won't be necessary, _officer_." She snapped.

"As your partner, _councilor_, I say it is." He bit back. He wanted to make clear that this warrant less search had a reasonable cause. But boyfriend was such a wretched term, too closely associated with high school for a man of thirty to use.

She stared at him, he pleaded and beseeched her. He won, it was in her eyes. With no further comment she opened the door.

All seemed to be well but Don was on high alert anyway, going through the colorful home as if it was a scene needing secured. He wanted to pull his gun and go about things properly, but that would upset Elizabeth – Iris even more. Her apartment passed inspection and with a heavy heart he left.

Elizabeth – Iris cried herself to sleep that night, Don laid awake, starring at the ceiling and thinking of her.


End file.
